Chapter 1-9

“I don’t understand why we have to stay here though! What have you done to our old house!?” I say frustrated. “Nothing, it’s just empty now because it’s all in the new house, now stop moaning, staying at your moms isn’t a big deal, she’s a cool mom” “I know she’s cool, I just wanna see the new house!” “Well it’s not done yet so shut up” he says to me. He slowly turns his eyes and looks at me whilst driving. “Did you just tell me to shut up?” I say in mock anger. “Yeah, we’re married now. It’s either my way. Or. Uhh… The highway?” he says the last part as he bursts in to laughter. Fool. We pull up to my mom’s house and we both get out and walk up to the door. Naturally my mom already opens the door and rushes up to hug us both “oh you’re back!! How was the honeymoon!?” she asks all excited. “It was good” I say still moody from not being able to go home. “Oh stop it Lex, he bought you a frikin house, cheer up! It’ll be ready in a few days, now come inside. I’ve made breakfast” I turn around to speak to Bruno but I realise that he’s already ran inside to the food. Man this guy loves to eat…. I go inside and find him lounging on the couch, I love how he classes this as his home now too, although I do want to go to our NEW home, fuck, I should really stop moaning. “God damn look at all this food! I swear we didn’t get this much in the hotel” he says as he sits down to eat. “Fuck, bacon!” and I attack all the food too. “Lex you’re gonna have to start making all this everyday for your husband now” “Yeah Lex. Eeeevrryyydaaayyy” “Shut up” I say as I shovel more bacon in. “Baby it’s cool, I’ll just go in the kitchen and cook” he says casually. “Uhhh, in my NEW kitchen? I don’t think so, the only thing you can make in there is cereal, and don’t spill the milk” “I think I can handle not spilling mi-“ during his sentence he knocks over some orange juice. I just stare at him like he’s an idiot. “Right, no cooking for me then…” “That’s what I thought” I say as I clear it up. We finish eating and my mom asks “You guys tired from your flight? It’s gonna have to be Lex’s old room for you two, but it’s quite big so you’ll be fine” “No I think we’re used to flying by now, but I do wanna go upstairs and get unpacked, baby you go up and I’ll help my mom clear up” I say. “Nope, go on, I’ll clear it all up, off you two go” “Mom I’ll help you” “Lex, just leave it” “No, if I help then it’ll get done faster” “No you know how fussy I am, I like it done in a certain way” “Well I can just put everything in the sink for you” “No don’t bother, I need to wash the pans” “Oh well I’ll do that, or I cou-“ “Oh God” and Bruno pulls me away mid sentence. “That was awkward to watch…” he mumbles.

We go upstairs to my old room, wow I haven’t been in here in a while “you know I haven’t ever been in here before” Bruno says as he looks around touching stuff. I wish he wouldn’t touch stuff, he’s really clumsy and breaks a lot of things. “Yeah I don’t come back here often, I’ve been busy. And you know. I HAD my own house” he ignores that comment and jumps on my bed “hey Lex remember when we went to Hawaii and we were on my old bed..” “No. I’m not having sex with you” “whyyyyyyyyy” “because! It’s probably not healthy to do it that much!” “Yeah we did have lot of sex on the honeymoon. Fine. Don’t fuck me” what a baby. I start to unpack our stuff and within seconds I he grabs me and throws me on the bed “you’re sick!! My mom’s in the house!!” “And?” he asks casually. “Lex for once in your life say. Yes Bruno. I want to fuck you and your huge dick” “you better do it Lex. I mean apparently he’s got a huge dick” my mom yells from outside. Oh my. “Listen to your mom” and he rolls us over so he’s on top of me. “I’m going out, I’ll see you too later, be safe, unless you wanna give me grandkids. No? Too soon? Just putting the idea there… see ya” She says as she leaves. Oh God. “Damn, already with the grandkids thing huh?” Bruno says. “Shut up and fuck me?” I say. “With pleasure” He attacks my lips with kisses, I swear each time he kisses me it’s just like the first time he did. I try to slow him down but it doesn’t work “No, let’s do it fast now then I’ll go slowly later” he mumbles against my lips, which makes me laugh. “Daaanngg I miss hanging out in here!” Mid says as she walks in. “Ugh” he says as he gets off me. “Ya’ll fucked a lot on the honeymoon, get over it Bruno” she says as she looks through my closet. “Hey bitch this is my top! I’ve been looking for it!” “Hey Mid, whose bra is that you’re wearing?” she looks down. “Shit” she says as she puts the top down. “So how was the honeymoon?” “Sooooo amazinggggg” he says. I just nod, it really was amazing, I realised that we hadn’t spent alone time like that in forever, in fact, I don’t think I’ve ever had Bruno alone for two weeks like that. I miss it. “WOW! I haven’t been here in ages!!” Phred says as he walks in “Damn, ya’ll all said the same thing” Bruno says as he lies back on my bed. “Yeah we used to hang out in here all the time, even if the whole house would be empty. We’d still be in here, I kinda miss it” I say “did you have a lot of guys in here…” Bruno asks casually “Only Phred, and a few others….” “And of all the guys in the world you chose Bruno? I’ve really lost all respect for you Lex” Eric says as he walks in. He comes over and hugs me and fist bumps Bruno who doesn’t look happy with his joke, I love it when then fight with each other. “Damn Lex, you’ve got a huge room!” “Yeah it is nice, I practically lived in here” Mid says. “Daaannggg it is nice in here!” Ryan says as he walks in, is everyone gonna walk in now!? “How was the honeymoon?” He asks. “Mehh it was ok, I missed you though, every fucking second I was thinking. Damn, if only Ryan was here to sit with me on this beach” Bruno says. “Well obviously!” I hear kids playing outside and I instantly get happier. I look out through my window and I see my mom playing with Eric and Phil’s sons along with a couple of other kids from the neighbourhood. They all look so cute. We all go downstairs, which makes Bruno unhappy because he clearly wanted to fuck me… again. God I love children, they always make me so happy. I can’t wait to have my own. I know I’ve only been married for a few weeks, but I really can’t wait to have kids with Bruno, I know he’s gonna make a great dad. He comes up behind me and wraps his arms around me, he sniffs my hair and I know he’s thinking the same thing as me. I look at him and say “Baby I want one” he looks back at me and smiles and replies “yeah I want one too” and he slowly kisses me. “You wanna go make one now?” he asks slyly. “It doesn’t work like that” “Huh? I’m pretty sure I know the process” “Well first I need to stop taking the pill, then I need to look at dates when I’m ovulating and I’ve been on the pill for so long that it might take a while an-“ He cuts me off with a kiss. That’s such a good way to shut me up. “You let me know when you wanna be fucked, and I’ll be there” and he walks away. Well ok, if he wants to word it that way.

Ouch, my fucking head. I don’t even remember much of last night, but I do remember that I’m still pissed with Bruno. Oh God my head hurts so badly. “Here, take this” I hear him say. I slowly open my eyes and look at him sitting next to me in the bed holding an aspirin and a glass of water. I sit up but just as I’m about to take the water from him I feel something weird in my stomach, shit I need to throw up, I run to the bathroom and start to heave over the toilet, instantly I throw up everywhere  and feel better. At least Bruno didn’t rush in to help me again like the last time. I throw some cold water on my face, tie my hair up and go back out to get the aspirin from him. I go back in the bedroom and see him waiting for me. He hands me it and watches me take it. “My head hurts” I finally decide to say. “I know, and I’m sorry about last night” “Then why did you do it? Why did you need to go and get drunk and blow me off like that? I was looking forward to going out. With you” “I don’t know, one drink leads to another” “What time did you get in? What time did I get in? I don’t remember much” I say confused. “Well I got home at 10, and you got in at 4” “What!? 10? Why?” “Well after I got off of the phone with you I decided to sober up and come home and take you out like I originally said I would, but your mom said you already left and went out with the girls, so I just decided to wait for you” I peck his lips. “I would’ve had more fun with you” “Me too” and he kisses me, and slowly his kiss starts to intensify, I don’t object. “Wanna try for a baby?” he whispers. I nod and he pushes me back down on the bed….

“So how long until you think you’ll get pregnant” he asks. “I don’t know really, it depends, it could take a while or it could happen fast, but it’ll take a while to show up on the tests” “Man, this shit is confusing” and he turns round to go to sleep. “Uhh no mister! You’re taking me to see the new house!” “Right now?” “Yes” “Shower with me?” “Yes” I reply, and he gets up and runs to the shower. To be honest, I’d do anything now just to get him up and show me our new house… We get ready and leave. I can’t help but stare at him whilst he drives, God damn he’s so fucking sexy when he drives, he makes me all hot just looking at him, I open the window and let some cool air in to clear my mind. “Baby you want me to pull up somewhere?” he says with a smirk. “Shut up and drive” “Hey I’m only saying it because the more times we do it then the higher chance we have of you getting pregnant” “Bruno it’s not even 3 in the afternoon yet, we’ve already done it twice today and you’re still begging me for sex? Well I think I know who the horny one is…” “Yeah I’m horny. Horny for your ass” “Well I’m not fucking you again today, tomorrow? Maybe” “Yeah we’ll see. We need to break our new house in” he says with a wink. Holy fuck he’s so hot. “Baby I was thinking about something, obviously I’m gonna need to stop smoking now, and I think you should stop too” He grabs the steering wheel a little tighter and says “Does it mean that much to you for me to stop?” I nod. “Ok, we’ll stop together” and he kisses my hand. We start to drive down through all these trees, it’s quite mystical, next thing I know we pull up to these huge black metal gates, what the? I look at Bruno in shock, has he really bough us this place!? It’s more like a fucking mansion. “I gotta get out and put the code in by hand because I don’t have the key to do it from the car yet” I nod in disbelief and he goes and enters a code in the system and the gates slowly open to let us in. “What’s the code?” I ask as he gets back in. He looks at me and says “Our wedding anniversary” and he drives on. How sweet. As we drive up I notice that the ground is covered in white pebbles, but then my eyes lock on to it. “I knew you’d like it” he says as he pulls up to the house. “I’m not talking about the house, I haven’t seen the house yet” I whisper. I get out of the car and walk up to this huge, beautiful water fountain that it right in front of the house. Wow. It reminds me of the one that we got married in front of, its breath taking. As I walk around it I look up and behind it I see this grand perfect looking house. My mouth falls open. Bruno comes up next to me and playfully shuts my mouth “Wow, and it’s all ours?” I say in shock. He nods, links his fingers with mine and walks up the marble stairs to the door. “Houses like this in L.A. exist?” “I spent months and months looking for the perfect house for us, and this one just stood out to me” “Yeah I wonder why…” He takes the keys out and opens the door. “Wait! One more thing” and he picks me up bridal style to carry me through the door. “Is this really necessary?” I ask through laughter. “Yes” he simply replies and walks us both through the door. Oh my. He places me down inside and I feel week from what I’m seeing. “Woaaahh, it’s ok, I got ya” he says as he hugs me from behind. In front of me I see a huge crystal chandelier dangling from above, to the left I see a grand staircase, opposite me is a large open plan kitchen and to my right I see doors which must lead to other rooms. Holy fuck, it’s amazing. “Come, you gotta look at the kitchen” and he pulls me to it. “Shit it’s so huge! And so clean, oh and it leads right in to another room, oh it’s the sitting room, daaamnnn look at this carpet! What’s outside? HOLY SHIT LOOK AT THE POOL!! OH MY GOD AND PLASMA SCREEN TV’S ABOVE IT! HOLY SHIT…..” I need to take a second to calm myself. He comes up behind me and says “Wanna see the bedroom?” of course he’d wanna show me that. I nod and he leads me upstairs. “Uhhh, I think it’s this one, yeah this is it” and he opens the door, one of many might I say, and he leads me in. The. Bed. Is. Huge. “Nice baby making bed huh?” and he jumps on it and gestures for me to join him, which I do. I sit on his legs whilst he’s lying on his back. He places his hands on my thighs and looks up at me “You like it?” I nod. “It’s beautiful, who furnished it and bought all the new stuff!?” I ask suddenly realising that Bruno couldn’t have done all this by himself. “I had some help….” “My mom and Mid?” he nods, I knew it. “Sooooo…..” and he rolls us over so he’s on top. Damn, I need to watch out when he does that. “Wanna try this new baby making bed out, the more times we try then the higher chance we have of you getting pregnant right?” He asks desperately. I slowly nod. I suppose he did just buy me a house, a beautiful house, wait, why am I fighting with myself over this!? “That’s my wife” he says as I attack his lips. I pull back “I will never get used to you saying that” I say against his lips. He smiles “Do you know how long it took me to get used to the fact that you’re my girlfriend? Then my fiancé?” I shake my head. “And now my wife? Daammnn, as corny as it sounds, dreams do fucking come true” and he gently kisses me. I do love him. So much.

I don’t know about you guys, but I’ve been waiting for this moment for a while :)

It’s been 2 months since we’ve moved in, and 2 months since we’ve been trying for a baby but still nothing. Why can’t I just get pregnant? Lord knows we’ve tried everything that’s supposed to help with conception, but still nothing. Maybe something’s wrong? Maybe it’s me? What if we can’t have children? Oh God, why am I so fucking messed up!? I need to sleep this worry off. So I go up to bed. “Baby you wanna try again?” Bruno asks as I get in. I just shake my head. “It’ll happen, like the doctor says, for some people it takes longer than others, she said to just keep trying” “Ok, but not tonight, I’m really tired” I lie. I don’t think I can go on like this. “Ok baby” and he kisses my forehead and lies back. I lie in his arms until I eventually fall asleep.

I wake up and-oh shit. I run to the bathroom and throw up, what the fuck, “baby you ok?” he asks from the bed. Although I’m pretty sure he’s still half asleep. “Yeah I’m fine” which I’m really not, “you’re not pregnant are you?” “well I’m pretty sure it’s not morning sickness, it’s probably just that food we ate last night” “yeah probably” he says as he goes back to sleep. However…. I suppose another pregnancy test wouldn’t hurt right? I’ve taken so many of these the past few weeks that I know not to get my hopes up. Just breathe Lex, you’ve done this before. On the count of three look at the test. One. Two. Three. Negative. Great, exactly what I expected. Of course I’m not pregnant. I mean why would I be? Oh shit I’m babbling now. I decide to go downstairs and clean up a bit, although, these tests aren’t 100% accurate right? I open the fridge and drink my weight in juice and run upstairs to the bathroom again to take another text. On the count of three again Lex. One Two. Three. It’s positive. Shit. I’m shaking like mad. I can’t even think properly. These tests aren’t always 100% correct though. There’s no point in even telling Bruno unless it’s wrong. Fuck, what should I do? Without even thinking I rush in the room and throw some sweats on and leave “Baby I got a call from someone. I’ll be back later…” I take a bottle of water and I leave. I know exactly where I’m going. 

She opens the door and I rush in “Mom I gotta use your bathroom….” and I run upstairs to take another one. Positive. Holy Fuck. “Lex. Sweetheart what’s wrong?” my mom says from the door. I stay silent. “Sweetheart I’m coming in” and she walks in and finds me sitting on the floor looking up at her “oh my god you’re pregnant” “what!?” “Lex a mother knows, you’ve got that same scared gleam in your eye like I did, oh come here” and she hugs me and pulls me up. “When did you find out?” “Well I woke up this morning and threw up so I just decided to take a test…. And I mean they’re not always 100% right? The first one was negative, so I waited then took another one and it was positive” I say the last part in a whisper “Is this the third one you’ve taken?” I nod. “Right let’s get you to the Doctors to confirm it, although I already know you are” and she grabs me and we leave. Is this really happening to me? “You’ll be fine Lex, stop worrying” she says to calm me down. I ignore her. We get to the doctors and go inside, they see us instantly, I suppose when you’re married to Bruno Mars then bitches wait around for you. “So Mrs Hernandez you think you might be pregnant?” The doctor says to me. As she says my last name my heart skips a beat. I will never get used to that. “What makes you think this?” “Well I took like 3 pregnancy tests this morning, and the first one said negative, and the second and third said positive…” “I’d like to get you to do another urine test and a blood test too if that’s ok” “Urgh you want me to pee again!?” she just laughs and gets up. I take both tests and whilst we wait for the results to come back she starts asking me some questions. “How often were you taking tests?” “Not THAT often really” “Do you smoke?” “Ever since we started trying I quit” “How long have you been trying for?” “About 2 months” “And when was your last period?” “Uhh, I suppose I haven’t had one for a month… shit…” She gets an alert on her computer. She looks up at me and says “Mrs Hernandez. Congratulations, you’re 6 weeks pregnant”

I can’t wait to tell Bruno, I speed back home to tell him. I run in to the house. See him in the kitchen and literally jump on him and kiss him. Thank fuck he catches me otherwise we’d both be on the floor. I pull back and he says “hello?” with his eyebrow raised. God he’s so sexy when he does that. I slowly look around and see all the guys staring at us. Awkward. I slowly climb down off him and pull him in the other room to tell him. “What’s going on?” he says with a smile. “I just went to the doctors” “Oh my God are you alright!? What’s wrong?” wow he’s an idiot. I just stare at him. And he states back. “Baby I’m pregnant” and his face goes in to shock. “Wha-you’re what?” I nod and let him take it all in. “you’re pregnant?” he eventually gets out. “I’m 6 weeks pregnant” I repeat. His eyes light up and he gives me the most loving look he has ever given me. We both start to tear up and he leans in and kisses me slowly. I do love this man. We both pull back and I say “But I don’t want you telling anyone, it’s too early to tell people, complications can happen at this stage…” I don’t think he heard me because he’s staring in to space. “Who knows?” “Just my mom, she took me to the doctors” “Can I tell my mom? ONLY her please?” he begs. I nod; I suppose he can tell his mom. “6 weeks? How did you not know?” “I. I have no idea, those tests are never accurate anyway” “You’re really pregnant?” he asks still in shock. I slowly nod. “We’re gonna have a baby together?” I nod again. He takes his hand and places it on my stomach “Wow, my child is in there” he whispers. I lean in and kiss him slowly; he pulls back and says “You know we gotta think of something to tell the guys inside now right? Cuz the way you jumped on me and pulled me out, they’re gonna know something’s up” “Shit, let’s just say I wanted to tell you something important and it’s none of their businesses” “Yeah, like that’s gonna work, let’s just tell them that you were feeling really horny and you pulled me away so I could fuck you quickly” “Uhhh, no, let’s just walk in and see what they say” I suggest. As we walk in Ryan looks at us and says “You guys know what? We don’t even wanna know” If we weren’t hiding something from them I would so have a go at Ryan for assuming things like that.

It get’s late and they’re still not leaving, I look at Bruno to try and get him to say something, he instantly stands up “Yo, dudes, we gotta get up early and go to the studio tomorrow morning, and it’s getting fucking late now” and just like that they all get up and start to leave, thank fuck for that! “Yo bro, it’s cool if I stay here tonight right?” Ryan asks. “No, go home” Bruno say’s coldly. “Thanks, I think I’m gonna go for a swim first though” and he walks outside. “Did he actually just do that?” Bruno asks shocked. I nod and we both go and sit at the table. He kisses me slowly again. “What’s it like being pregnant” he asks. I shake my head “I don’t know really, it doesn’t feel any different yet, ask me in a couple of months and I’ll let you know” and he kisses me. “Yo Bruno! Get out here for a sec” Ryan yells as he interrupts our kiss. “I’m going to bed anyway” I say as I get up. “You wanna try for a baby again tonight?” he jokes “No, I think we’ll be ok…” what a fool. As Bruno goes outside I go in to the kitchen to get a glass of water. “What Ry? I’m tired and I wanna go to bed” “Look just sit for a second will you?” and Bruno joins Ryan sitting on the floor. I go upstairs and start to get ready for bed. I can hear them talk from the balcony in our room. I wonder why Ryan’s being so serious.  I casually decide to listen in. “You know, it’s all because of her that we’re sitting here right now. You know this right? Tell me you fucking understand this” Ryan says. He’s obviously had too much to drink. “Well obviously I know” “No but seriously. Like. If you two hadn’t had met then no one else probably would’ve given you the chance, she believed in you, she saw something in you that no one else saw. And it doesn’t even matter that you two fell in love and started dating, because even if she didn’t fuck you, I still believe that she would’ve gotten you that record deal. You owe her so much” “You think I don’t know this? Bro I know how much she’s done for me, I can’t thank her enough for all she’s done for me, I will NEVER be able to repay her for what she’s done for me. Yeah I can marry her, yes I can buy her beautiful things that she deserves, but it’ll never be enough. And I can’t ever repay her for that” “Can you believe that you fell so hard for her?” “Nope, I can’t even believe that she fell in love with me. You know I used to look at her and think, damn, she’s some breathtakingly beautiful girl, who’s amazing at being such a successful producer, and I’m just this short little guy perving over how hot she is from a distance, I never in a million years thought that she’d fall for me, or wanna marry me, or wanna have kids with me, if I’m honest it’s still weird to think about it” “I remember when you first started dating, you changed, you were just so happy all the time, actually, it was really sickening to watch” “I remember, that night that I asked her to go out with me, I took her back to my place because she said she wanted to go there, whilst I was driving home with her I remember thinking about what she’s gonna think when she sees my shit hole of an apartment. I mean I had nothing. Remember it? I had this tiny couch; with this small box TV, no food in my fridge and this bed that wasn’t even a bed. I was dreading it so much. But the things was, when I took her there she acted as if it was her own place, she acted as if nothing was wrong with it and to be honest, that’s when I first started to fall hard for her” “Daamnn, did you ever tell her how you felt?” “Yeah that night actually, I don’t know why but I sorta blurted everything out, I was all, Lex, I can’t be with you because I can’t give you all the nice things you deserve, we don’t match right now, I have nothing and you have everything, why would you wanna be with me!? And she just looked at me like I was an idiot. Which I fucking was thinking she’d be so fucking shallow like that” “Yeah Lex isn’t that sort of a person” “Well I know that now, but yeah, I mean she just said to me that she’s with me for me, not for what I can buy her, that was probably one of the best nights I’ve ever spent with her” “You’re both lucky to have found each other” “Yeah I know” “Speaking of which, how’s the baby thing going? Still no luck?” “Uhhh…. no, no luck, listen I’m going to bed now, do whatever just be quiet” “Night bro” and I see Bruno leave him outside to come upstairs. Wow, I can’t believe he just said all that, I haven’t thought about that night in so long. I get in to bed and wait for him. But before I know it I fall asleep.

When I wake up I realise that its morning already, damn I need to stop falling asleep like that. Oh shit, not again, I wake up and run to the bathroom and throw up. God I hate this Instantly Bruno’s by my side holding my hair out of my way. When I’m done he splashes some water on my face and makes sure I’m ok “I guess we’re gonna have to get used to this” he says. “Yeah speak for yourself” and we get back in to bed. “I still can’t believe you’re pregnant Lex” “Yeah me neither, I think when I start to show that’ll be when it becomes more realistic” he puts his head on my chest and starts to rub my stomach. It feels nice “I can’t believe my child is in there, our child. Do you know what the sex might be? Because you know sometimes they say the mother already knows” And as soon as he says the word “Mother” my heart stops, wow I’m gonna be a mom. “I think it might be a boy, I don’t know why but I just think so, but, uhh yeah… I don’t really know” “Well I don’t care what it is, as long as it comes out healthy I’m happy, do you have a preference?” I shake my head. I really don’t care, he’s right, as long as our baby comes out healthy then I’m happy. His phone then starts to ring. He kisses my stomach and goes to answer it. “Hey bro what’s up?” it must be Eric because Ryan’s not that lazy to call us from the other room. “Tonight? Sure, we’ll see you then, bye” and he ends the call. “Eric wants to go out tonight with everyone, you up for it?” “Everyone?” “Yeah you know…… everyone” “Sure, but remember, no telling people” “Got it, shit I was gonna call my mom and tell her” whilst he does I get up and go take a shower, I think that needs to be a private conversation. As I decide what I’m going to wear tonight I get slightly depressed thinking that I’m probably not going to be able to wear any of these clothes for a while, well that sucks. “Whaattt aaree youuu thiinnkiinnngg abbouutt” Bruno says as he walks in to my walk in wardrobe and puts his arms around me and starts to rub my stomach again. I turn my head and kiss his cheek. “I was just thinking how I’m not gonna be able to fit in to half of these clothes soon” “And?” “Yeah yeah, you love me just the way I am I know…” “I- I’m not even gonna argue with you about this…” and he walks away laughing. God I hate him sometimes. We all get ready and leave, because Ryan never left our house today.

We go in to the restaurant and sit down at the table with everyone, wow there’s a lot of people here. I never realised how much bigger the Hornigans made the band look. To my left is Phred, my right is Bruno, and opposite me is Mid. Perfect.  “Baby what’re you gonna order?” “Uhhhh, steak?” “Obviously” Phred says. I ignore him. “you?” I ask Bruno. “The ribs look good, but I think I’m gonna get the wings” “Yeah the ribs do look good actually… no, yeah, get me the steak, oohh and the calamari on the side, but the ribs look good..  damn” “Has someone’s appetite increased?” he whispers in my ear. “Yes, now order me everything off this damn menu” “Lex what you gonna drink? Wanna open a bottle?” Mid asks. “No I don’t think so, not tonight” “Ok, how about a spirit then? Wanna jager bomb it up!?” “No alcohol tonight Mid…” she looks at me like I’m mad. Even I know that me saying no to alcohol is weird. “Can I have a beer?” Bruno whispers, I can’t help but laugh. I whisper back “Just because I can’t drink alcohol doesn’t mean that you can’t” and he takes my hand from under the table in to his. As our food arrives I can’t help but think how good it all looks, I finish everything off my plate and eat half of Bruno’s too, and good thing he doesn’t mind us “sharing”. When we’re done its dessert time! Yum my favourite part of the meal. I order this Cherry Pie and Bruno orders this chocolate cake, I don’t usually like chocolate cake but for some reason it looks good. Bruno takes a bite “Oh God, this is amazing, Lex, try some” it makes my mouth water, I go to take a bit from it. Just as the spoon reaches my mouth “SHIT! Don’t eat it! It’s got alcohol in it!” Bruno yells. Too late. It’s already in my mouth. Everyone’s staring at us now, I casually take my napkin and spit the cake out in to it. “I KNEW IT! YOU’RE PREGNANT!” Mid yells “And that’s why you were throwing up this morning!” Ryan adds. Everyone goes silent. Great.

“Is it true?” Cindia asks. I slowly nod and everyone goes insane congratulating us.

So, uhh…. I had to do a time lapse thing which sucks, but I think it still flows and makes sense….

So now I’m 5 months pregnant and I am SO uncomfortable, fuck this, fuck everything! Bruno comes and sits right next to me, what’s his problem!? “What the fuck!? Do you have to be this fucking close to me all the time!? I know we’re married and everything but a little bit of personal space would be nice sometimes! Jeeez, you’re so inconsiderate!” I yell at him, and he instantly gets up and moves away. “Sorry…” he says from the other side of the room, yeah he fucking should be. God damn my back hurts. And my neck. Fuck. “Baby, my back is killing me; will you come and rub it for me?” I ask him, he gives me this shocked and confused look. What’s wrong with him… “But, but I thought you wanted me not to sit so close to yo- *he shakes his head* never mind…” and he walks up to me and starts to rub my back. God he gives the best massages ever, I close my eyes and lose myself in what he’s doing. I feel him stop and gently kiss my neck “What the fuck!? I asked you for a back massage not for you to try and put the moves on me! God Bruno why do you always have to ruin things!? Fuck sake” and he slowly backs away from me. After a couple of seconds he asks “this is normal right?” “Is what normal?” I snap at him. “You know, your mood swings, I can’t keep up with them, and you’re kinda scaring me too, uhh I mean that in the nicest way” “Excuse me? My mood swings!? It’s always the same with all you guys isn’t it!? Oh Lex is showing emotion so it must be her hormones or something! She must not be doped up or something, Jeeez Bruno you’re so fucking insensitive! I can’t believe you! Just go away and write a sappy love song or something” Wow he’s annoying. After a while I realise that he hasn’t moved away like I told him too, I slowly turn around and see him sitting behind me with his eyebrow raised. Fuck he’s so sexy, why was I yelling at him again? “Fuck it” I say as I jump on him….

Today we’re gonna go find out the sex of the baby. It’s a boy, I know it’s a boy, I don’t know how but I just know. “Bruno let’s go!! Come on” “Coming” and he rushes down the stairs. By now my stomachs gotten pretty big, I’m not even at my full size yet but holy fuck is it uncomfortable. I find myself yelling at Bruno so much more these days, not that he cares, he knows it’s all because of the baby that I’m like this. When we get to the hospital, we have to go in the back way, I don’t want my pregnancy publicised and neither does Bruno. I mean even Dre is with us for extra protection. We go inside and Bruno helps me up on the bed that I’m supposed to lie on and we wait for the doctor to come in. I see Bruno pacing around “Nervous?” I ask. “Excited… I wasn’t even this excited when my album came out, so you really think it’s a boy huh?” I nod. “Well we’ll find out soon” and at that exact point the nurse walks in. “So do you both want to know the sex of the baby?” We both nod. “Ok let’s have a look” and she lifts my top up exposing my stomach and puts the gel on me. God I hate this stuff. “Ok so guys let me know if you see anything” we both watch the screen intensely.“Here’s the head, developing perfectly fine, you can see the faint outline of arms and legs, and if you look closely, can you see that?” “It’s a boy!” Bruno says quietly. The nurse nods “Yeah, you both are gonna have a boy” without even thinking I start to tear up “I’ll give you two a moment” and she leaves the room. He kisses me slowly and I sense tears rolling down his face too. “I can’t see it” I say. “What!?” “I didn’t notice it! And she ran off before I could ask her to show me properly!” I say frustrated. “Uhh, let’s see” and he picks up a picture of the scan. “Here are the legs right? And look at this” “OH MY GOD I SEE IT! It’s a boy” I yell, “Yeah, we’re having a baby boy”

We get home but we don’t say much in the car ride, I think we’re just too happy to say anything, when we get inside I go and sit on the couch and Bruno goes in the kitchen. Eventually he walks in and sits opposite me with a sandwich. Urgh I hate it when he eats spam, it always makes me wanna throw up, although this time it looks and smells good, what’s wrong with me…. I “what?” he says with his mouth full. I must be staring at him I snap out of it and shake my head to think right. “Shit sorry baby. I forgot spam makes you wanna gag” and he gets up. “No wait” he stops and stares at me. “That actually smells good” “really? Here” and he hands it to me. Oh God it looks disgusting, but it smells so good. What the hell? I slowly pick it up and take a bite. Bruno watches me intensely. I swallow it and look up at him, “well?” he asks. “It tastes good. Real good…” and I take another bite. What the fuck? Why do I- oh shit “well of course! I mean he is your son!” I blurt out” “huh” he says confused. I attempt to stand up, and he helps me. “Well of course he wants spam! Wow, you must really love that stuff for him to love it too” “Lex. What are you talking about?” “The baby! The baby obviously wants spam! He’s must think it smells good, which is why I want it too, God knows why though, that stuff is vile!” “Well if he likes it then I don’t think we should go against him, now eat it” and he watches me eat it intensely. “What?” I ask. “God watching you eat that is turning me on so bad….” and he gets up and rushes over to me. 

“Baby have you thought of any baby names yet?” he asks me as he sits next to me. I shake my head, well I suppose I’ve been thinking about it, but I’ve not really thought of anything I really like. “Have you?” I ask. He shakes his head too. “Well we could always name him Peter I suppose…” I joke, he snaps his head up to me. “We are not naming our child Peter!” I say in shock. “Yeah I know I know… It’s gotta be something better than Peter, and whatever we name him we gotta stick to it and call him that, none of this alternative name shit, it was confusing as hell for me as a child” We sit in silence for a bit. “Oh shit, I don’t know” and I fall back on the couch. “Well it’s gotta be something awesome” “What like Xavier?” “No. Like Dragon, yeah, Dragon Hernandez. I like that” he says. “Urgh I don’t even fucking know if you’re being serious or what right now” “Yeah Lex, I wanna name our kid Dragon” He says sarcastically. Idiot.”Did you know that if I was a boy then my mom would’ve named me Danny” His eyes shoot up at me. “Danny? Like Daniel?” “No, just Danny” He smiles at me and says in a quiet voice “Danny Hernandez?” “Danny Peter Hernandez” I reply. He nods and kisses me, but before it gets too intense I stop him and walk away, I swear me being pregnant has made him hornier.

I walk in to the other room and for some reason my ankles buckle and I fall on the floor, I’m ok though, I fell back on my ass so the baby’s fine. I try to get up but it’s impossible. Shit. I lie back and call for Bruno. “Bruno!” I yell. He casually strolls in and sees me on the floor and stops. “Uhhh why are you on the floor?” I look away from him and say “I fell” “and…” he asks. I furrow my eyebrows and reply “I don’t think I can get up myself” “oh God” and he just starts laughing at me hysterically. What an idiot!! “You know what Bruno!? Fuck you! Fuck everyone! In fact. I don’t want you in the baby’s life. You can just send money every month. Actually. We don’t want your stupid money; you can leave right now…” I ramble on. “Baby?” “What?” I say exhausted. “You want me to help you up?” I look at him and nod. He comes up next to me and places one of his arms under my legs and the other around my waist. “You’re not gonna be able to lift m-” I say as he picks me up. “I’m stronger than you think” he says as he places me on his lap. “Ouch” I say in pain. “Did you hurt yourself?” “Yeah, I fell on my ass” He gently pushes me off him and lifts my skirt up above my waist. He pauses; I don’t like him staring at my ass like this. “You’re fine” and he kisses the upper backs of my thigh, going higher until I stop him and turn around. I stare down at him. “I’m sorry I laughed at you, please let me see my son?” he asks in his cute way as he kisses my stomach. I smile and reply “I’ll think about it” and walk away because I really need to pee. I always need to pee these days, wow I’m so moany. “I love you!” he yells after me, I just ignore him. “Make me some bacon?” I yell. “Huh?” I wait… eventually he gets up and comes to me. “Make me some bacon” I reply “Why?” “Because I’m fucking craving some!! God you make me so angry all the time!” I snap at him. He slowly walks back and goes in the kitchen; I do hate yelling at him like that, but then again it is funny…            

I walk inside and see It Will Rain playing on the TV, God I fucking hate watching him make out with that girl. He comes in, hands me my bacon sandwich. Yum and looks at me and see’s how disgusted I am. “Baby I begged for you to be in the It Will Rain Video! I fucking got on my knees and begged you; I didn’t shut up about it for weeks but you were the one that didn’t wanna be in it! In fact, I begged you to be in the Just The Way You Are Video too, and the Nothin On You Video, be in my next one? Whatever one it may be that requires a lead girl, just be in it?” He begs. “No…” “WHY!?” He yells all angry, “Because it’s weird for me! I produce and song write, if I wanted to be in music videos then I would, it’s real easy for me to call someone up and ask to be in their video, because apart from you I’ve had soooo many offers, and besides, you’re my husband now, it’d just be tacky. You don’t see Beyonce in JayZ’s videos do you? Well… not anymore that is” “Fine, don’t be in my videos, just watch me make out with random girls” Wow, I can’t believe he just said that to me! What a jerk. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that, you know I don’t enjoy it and its all professional right?” I smile and kiss him and continue to eat my sandwich. I hate it when he brings this subject up. “Lex…” he slowly asks. “Hmmm..” Oh God this sandwich is good. “I was wondering, how about if you had the baby in Hawaii?” 

“What is with you and Hawaii!? We live in LA… Do you just wanna move to Hawaii or something!? Jeezz” “No, I definitely don’t wanna move back… I dunno I just think it’d be nice for you, you know, you’re too fucking stressed here” “No I’m not stressed. Shut up” “You shut up!” “EXCUSE ME!?” I yell. “Yeah, I told you to shut up, what you gonna do about it!?” “I tell you what I’m gonna fucking do about it, I’m gonna leave your ass!” “Go on then… you’re 5 months pregnant with my child. Have fun leaving, you fell over earlier and couldn’t get up!” “You are such a jerk, I fucking hate you” “Really? Say it again” “I hate you” I say quietly, he moves closer to me. “Louder” “I hate you” I say louder. “More aggression” and he’s right up in my face now. “I fucking hate you” He looks at me and raises his eyebrow “Do you really?” he asks as I feel his breath all over my face. Oh my God what does this man do to me? I shake my head and bite his lip. His tongue grazes the top of my lip and I’m so fucking turned on right now it’s unbelievable. I realise what he’s doing and pull back. “YOU JERK!” and I whack him with a pillow. “God Bruno! You know how horny being pregnant is making me and you play on that!? You are sick! Fuck you!” “Yeah I wish you would he says as he leans his head back on the couch. Idiot. I run my hand through my hair, look around and sit next to Bruno and start to cry. Instantly his arms are around me “Baby what’s wrong!?” he asks worried. “I-I just-I, I, I just” I can’t even speak. “Shhhhhh” he says as he comforts me, he starts to stroke the back of my hair which helps me to calm down. “I’m sorry I’m such a bitch to you! But I can’t help it; I don’t think about it or anything, I just get so fucking annoyed all the time. And I’m not even this bad with anyone else; it’s just you that I yell at, no one else! What the fuck is wrong with m-” and he kisses me to stop me from going on. He slowly pulls back to see if I am going to carry on, but I don’t. “It’s ok that you have these mood swings, baby its normal” “But it’s not though! It’s not fair that I only yell at you” “Baby you can yell at me all you want, I know that you don’t mean it, I know how much you fucking love me that all those thoughts of leaving me would NEVER cross your mind. In fact, don’t you think it’s amazing that you feel so comfortable with me that you subconsciously know that you can yell at me all you want?” “Well of course I feel comfortable with you, you’re my husband! You’re not gonna leave me for shit…” “Damn straight I won’t” We sit in silence for a bit, I don’t even feel stupid about crying like that, it’s only Bruno. Slowly I ask “What’s the real reason for Hawaii?” he exhales. “Well partly because of how stressed you get, but, uhh. I don’t know, I just think it’d be nice to have him in Hawaii because that’s where I was born. It’d just be nice for me, that’s all. And I really wasn’t kidding when I said about you being stressed” Yes, yes, he can shut up about me being stressed. I lean up and kiss him “How about I think about it?” “That’s all I ask” he replies and he kisses the top of my head. It seems like he can do the sweetest of things and have me dripping… did I just think that? Fuck it, and I attack his lips, I feel him laughing but I ignore him and rip his clothes off.

*Buzzz* *Buzzz* I hear faintly, I slowly open my eyes and see my phone light up, how did I end up in the bed? I remember falling asleep in Bruno’s arms on the couch; he must’ve carried me up to the bed so I was more comfortable. I’d actually be more comfortable in his arms. *Buzzz* *Buzzz* I suppose I should answer that. I get up and get it, Urgh, it’s Jaq. He can wait. I jump in the shower and completely ignore his call. As I go downstairs my phone is still ringing but I ignore it. I can faintly hear a piano playing, Bruno must be playing it, and it sounds beautiful whatever it is. *Buzzz* *Buzzz* Oh for fuck sake. “WHAT!?” I yell as I answer. “WHERE THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN!? I’VE BEEN TRYING TO SPEAK TO YOU FOR THE PAST TWO HOURS!” “Jaq, I’ve been at home, asleep, PREGNANT. Now what do you want?” “You don’t realise what’s happened do you? OF COURSE YOU DON’T REALISE!” “What are you talking about!?” “You’re a producer, how the fuck could you let this happen!? LEXII HOW COULD YOU LET THIS HAPPEN!?” “WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT JAQ!?” I yell scared, my breathing starts to get faster and I can feel my heart beating. “You know that track you were working on the other day? THE DEMO?” “Yeah…” “Well it looks like you’ve send that one off instead of the final version” I stay silent. “SPEAK TO ME! You realise what this means right!? THE FINAL FUCKING ALBUM WILL BE PRINTED WITH THE DEMO VERSION OF THE MAIN SONG INSTEAD OF THE FINAL VERSION!! HOW THE FUCK COULD YOU LET THIS HAPPEN!? YOU KNOW WHAT’S GONNA HAPPEN NOW RIGHT!? WE’RE ALL GONNA GET SUED, PROBABLY FOR MILLIONS, DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT YOUR STUPID BRAIN HAS DONE!? DO YOU REAL-“I drop the phone. My breathing gets faster, and faster, and faster, my heart feels like it’s gonna jump out of my chest. I don’t. I don’t feel right…. Breathe Lex. I feel dizzy; I don’t understand what’s happening. Fuck “Bruno!” I yell. Nothing “BRUNO!!!” fuck I need to sit down. As I start to move to the couch the room starts to spin. Ouch my head, everything goes black, “Bruno….” I whisper. Before I fall to the floor someone catches me. I think it’s Bruno……