Chapter 32

Phil looks at his phone and starts to smile big. "Perfect timing! It's Shucky." He says and smirks at Bruno.

"Good! Talk with him bout the deal!" Bruno says quickly. He seems to be excited. Phil turns away a bit and answers the call.

I grab Bruno's arm and whisper qestioningly. "Who's Shucky?"

"Aaron Bay Shuck. He works for Electra and bought some songs from us already. He's pretty cool and he always calls us first when they need new tracks. 2 weeks ago he offered to sign us as songwriters. But well we couldn't cause of the contract we had with Kalman. But now..." He steps to Phil and looks at him sternly. I walk over to them as well and listen to what Phil says.

"Next week? Yeah sure. We have time... Erm the deal we talked bout... It's still up? ... Yeah I know but we're not signed with Atlantic anymore... Why?" Phil glances to Bruno. "... erm... there was a lil incident with Kalman... huh?" Phil wrinkles his forehead and we keep on watching him expectantly. "Really?... No I didn't know that! Fuck!" He really looks pissed now. I wonder what Bay Shuck told him. "But we still can do the track with Matisyahu next week, can't we?... Ok. Yeah thanks man!... Yeah it's ok. See ya." He hangs up and looks at us. My heart falls seeing his hopeless expression.

"What did he say man?" Bruno asks him nervously.

"Man we're fucked up! Forget the deal with Electra!" Phil yells angry. 

"What? Why?"

"Cause they fuckin fuse with Altantic. Did you know that?" 

"What? No! Shit!"

"Yeah! And you have to punch Kalman. Great job! Damn!" Phil cusses.

"As if you haven't done the same when it was Bana..." Bruno yells back.

Before Phil can response to that Ari steps in. "Guys come down! Shit happens... we can't undo it. Til now everything worked out good. We gonna find a way. I believe in us. And so should you!"

We all stare at him for a while. He doesn't talk much but that were just the right words. Phil and Bru calm down and both look to the ground regretful before Bruno starts to apologize and so does Phil. We go back inside. I can't believe all the shit just happened. Right about now when they started to get known. And that all because of me! Why didn't I just let Kalman alone? 

After some minutes the guys agree to meet the next day and discuss about what they should do now. Anyways they're all too clueless and talking about it now wouldn't lead to anything. Bruno, Isa and I drive to my place in silence. I feel so guilty and though Bruno doesn't blame me at all I sense that he's a lil bit angry at me. Or at himself? I don't know. I think I talk to him when Isa is sleeping. 

After dinner we watch a movie but Bruno goes onto the balcony every couple of minutes to smoke. After the 5th or 6th time I walk out to him. I can't wait any longer I have to talk that out.

"Hey. Please don't smoke so much because of me."

"It's not cause of you." He takes a drag and mumbles something like. "Not everything is cause of you..."

"Huh?"

"I said: Not everything I do is because of you!"

"Ok. I didn't claim that! I just thought... cause of Kalman and... it's all my fault..." I lean on the wall crossing my arms. I know he's mad at me and he should say it. Keeping it in won't help us.

"No! It's not.." He takes another drag and exhales it slowly. "It's just we came so far and now everything should stop? I can't believe that!"

"It won't stop."

"Says you... but unfortunately you're no label boss. So what you say doesn't mean shit." His words hurt but he's right and he has every reason to be mad so I just let him talk. He looks at me. "Sorry! Look I don't wanna argue with you ok so can we just not talk about it?!" I nod silently and he walks back inside. I follow him after some seconds. I understand him but I don't like that we can't talk about things like that. That's not good...

---

The next day I drive Bruno to the studio and Isa stays there because I have to work. I wanted to ask Mary if I can work at home so that Bruno and the guys don't have to look after her. But Bruno insisted that I should go to the office so I do it. Luckily Ryan and Eric are at the studio as well and take care of her, so Phil, Ari and Bruno can discuss things.

I can concentrate about the event I have to organise better than I expected and finish all the things I wanted to do in time. I'm about to head out when Mary calls me into her office. I didn't talk to her for a while about what's going on and Bruno hasn't called yet so I decide to tell her about the happenings of the last days. She always has a good advice.

"...so yeah that pretty much was it. And now he refuses to talk with me. I fell he's mad about me, about himself, about the whole situation and I mean if he wants to scream at me, I would hate it but wouldn't it be better than talking nothing at all?"

"Hm hm... he's a man, Caro! They never talk... and honestly what should he say? It just happened yesterday. He didn't even realise what that all means by himself... Give him time to discuss that with his guys and I'm pretty sure he gonna talk to you when he has somehow a plan."

"Hm that makes sense..." I rub over my face. "But enough of me! You called me in your office... so what's up?"

"Erm yeah..." She stands up and goes to the cupboard taking out a bottle of Whiskey and a glass. "You want some too?" I shake my head. It's nothing special that she drinks a shot shortly before home time. She pours her a glass and downs it immediately. Then she pours another one. Ok now this is not so normal anymore. Instead of putting the bottle back into the cupboard she takes it and the glass and steps back to her desk. Ok this is pretty disturbing now. I sit up straight and look at her worried. "Mary! What is wrong?"

"Oh Caro... I don't know how to say it..." She downs the second glass, pours another one and wants to drink it too when I lean over the desk and stop her. She nods and puts it back on the desk. "I... You know I always had these headaches? I thought it's migraine, but the medication never really helped... and Matt finally dragged me to a specialist last month. He made some tests and x-rays... and last week when you were in Germany we got the results..."

I stare at her. "And?" I suddenly feel a terrible ache in my stomach going up to my heart. The way she talked, the way she looked it makes me sick.

She drinks the third glass now holding back her tears. What the hell? She swallows hard and breaths in. After some time she exhales. "It's a brain tumor... in it's final stage..." She spits it out like it was some dirt, nothing.

I can't speak, my face my whole body is like frozen. "Oh god..." I whisper leaning back into the chair. I feel tears start to form in my eyes. "Why? That can't be true!" 

Mary only nods and pours another glass and downs it instantly. "They don't know how long I have left. They think in any case not more than a year rather 6 or 7 months if it grows more. I can take medication against the growing but it will only extend the suffering...so I won't do it."

I shake my head in unbelief. "That is... I... Mary..." She nods as if she understands what I try to say. After some seconds I ask. "How does Matt take it?"

"He cries every fuckin night holding me tight. It kills me. The last 2 nights I stayed in a hotel. I can't stand it. Seeing him desperate like that! You know I just wanna enjoy the last months. I need to take care of some things. The company, the houses... god Brad doesn't even know it..." She rubs her forehead. I admire her for being so strong. She's incredible. But I feel so bad for Matt. He loves her so much. This really is the worst thing that could happen to them. 

"Speaking about the company... you know I still have to talk with Matt about it, but I know he can't lead it alone especially after I'm... gone... so I need someone to help him or rather who runs the show until he got over me... and of course he's not the youngest anymore and we talked about that already a while ago... we both don't wanna sell it and you know Brad can't run it... so to make a long story short... I want you as my successor!"

I gulp. "What?"

"You heard right! I know you can do that. I trust you. I believe in you. You're qualified. You're smart. You're creative. I will learn you the most important things and you always can ask Matt. So what do you say?"

"I... I don't know... I'm honored of course. And I wanna do it, but... you just told me you gonna die in some months! I can't think about taking over the company! That is really too much right now!"

"Yeah of course!" She puts the Whiskey back into the cupboard. "I can't believe it myself too. It's so unreal cause beside this headache I feel good, healthy... But it's like that... I have to face it and you know I never wanted to suffer as a old wrinkled woman who pees herself and can't remember her neighbor's name. It's kinda sad that it'll be so fast but honestly it's ok for me. I had an amazing life... And Matt gonna take it better soon I hope. And knowing the company being in your hands would make me very happy..." She comes over to me and I stand up hugging her tight.

"That all breaks my heart! But I won't disappoint you, Mary! I love you!"

---

That night I couldn't sleep at all. I haven't told Bruno about Mary, he has his own problems and before I had a chance to tell him the guys said they're going out tonight and I didn't wanna destroy that. I quietly walk out of the bedroom to not wake up Isa and close the door I take my Ipod and sit on the balcony watching the stars and listening to music.

Mary gonna die... I start to cry. Why is it that sometimes all bad things happen at the same time and especially after so many good things happened and my life was pretty the best I ever had? I still love Bruno and he loves me at least I think so, but everyday-life really turned out to be hard. And now when he's like jobless I'll have to work more than ever. This all gonna be so hard to deal with! I'm afraid, I'm so afraid that we can't work it out... I see my phone ringing. I's Bruno. I take off my headphone and wipe away my tears before I answer it.

"Hey." I say trying to sound normal.

"Hey babe! Did I wake you up?"

"No."

"Ok. Good. But Isa's sleeping, right?"

"Yeah. What's up Bru?"

"Babe I'm on my way to you... I miss you. Put on some clothes, take a towel, a blanket and come down. I'm gonna be there in 10 minutes."

I smirk a bit. "Bru. I can't let Isa alone."

"Gosh she's 16 no baby. Write her a note. Anyways we gonna be back in 2 or 3 hours she won't even recognize that you were away... Please?! We need that!"

I think for a second. He's so right. "Ok. I'm gonna wait at the liquor store."

"Ok. I love you!"

"I love you too." I stand up and pack the things he told me. I write a note for Isa and head out. At the liquor store I buy a bottle of white wine and sit down at the bench before it waiting for him.

We need that. I don't know what he wants to do, but I feel that it's gonna be exactly what we really need!