Chapter 41-50
Chapter 41
I closed my eyes and laid there motionless. I didn’t have any more tears to cry. I just wanted to rewind everything. How did this even start? I felt a hand on my back I opened my eyes to see Phil. I grabbed my hand and pulled me up. We both just looked at each other. He looked down, “He just told me that he wanted to marry you..” I just looked at him and then back over to the girls, mostly everyone was in tears.
She opened the door, “Bruno! How lovely of you to come by.” I walked in past her, “Save it.” I looked around, the house looked really nice. It was all clean and neat, it honestly looked like it was for show. “Sit down, stay awhile.. Want a drink?” I slowly sat down on the couch, “No, I’m fine.” She sat on a couch across from me, “Okay, well what brings you here?” “You know exactly what.” “Actually I don’t know a thing, maybe you should fill me in?” I leaned froward, “Look Amber, I’m not on your fucking games talk, tell me why.”
She smiled, “You really want to know why?” I nodded. “Okay well you know I’ve just been DYING to have you.. But, you just won’t come easy will you?” I shook my head, “Just stop. I’m nothing special..” “Hmm.. but you’re wrong. You’re actually really special. I see the way you move on that stage, and the way you caress you’re guitar.” “You’re crazy. Why do you want me so bad? What do I have that you want?” “Why tell you.. you won’t give it to me..” she said leaning forward. I frowned, “Tell me what you want, and I’ll give it to you. Anything.”
I went towards everyone and we all hugged each other. No words we’re said, but I knew we all felt the same way. “We need a prayer right now.” Tori said. I closed my eyes and held back tears, “Please.” I bowed my head and she began to pray.
She got up and started walking towards me. I froze up. She bent down and whispered in my ear, “I want you in me.” “Do you really want that?” I whispered. She leaned out and looked me directly in the eyes, “I need it.” I grabbed her face and kissed her. If she wanted me, I was going to let her have me. As we unlocked from the kiss she frowned at me. “No games Peter.” I put hands up, “No games, I’m all yours.” She smiled and I kissed her again. She went to unbutton my shirt, and I let her. I slowly reached under her shirt and rubbed up her stomach. I kissed her again, and she smiled against my lips. I started to unbutton my pants and she watched me closely.
After the prayer was over. I laid on the couch. “If you don’t mind.. I’ll stay the night with you.” Carla said. I nodded, “Maybe you all should stay? We’ve all been drinking.” Everyone nodded and agreed. “Thank you all so much.” Michelle came and sat next to me on the floor, “Your going to be fine, I promise.” I shifted on the couch and looked at her, “I’m scared for him.” She nodded her head, “He’s going to do the right thing. Watch.” I closed my eyes, “I hope.”
I grabbed her arms and stood up. “Lay down.” I whispered. She did as I told her and I got on top of her. I kissed her down her neck all the way to her shoulder. She shivered from my kisses. “You know you could’ve been did this and I would have left you alone..” she whispered. “I had to make you wait.” I said smiling. She laughed, “Well I’ve been waiting long enough.” I bent down to her ear and whispered, “Your wait is over.”….
Chapter 42
She went to pull down my pants and I grabbed her by the collar of her shirt. I would never fuck her, even if my life depended on it. She frowned. “Tell me why.” “Wait, what?” “Tell me every fucking thing right now, or I’ll kill you.” She laughed, “You wouldn’t kill me Bruno.. you don’t have the strength.” I leaned down to her face, “You’d be surprised.” Her face went blank. I grabbed her shirt even tighter, “Talk.” “What do you want to know?!” she cried. I moved my hands closer to her throat, “Everything, tell me everything.” She started studdering, “I.. just wanted to be with you, but you never gave me the chance.” “So you try and kill me and ruin my life?” “Yes why not!” I frowned, “You’re fucking crazy.”
She started to try and struggle away from me but, I held her down. “Get off of me.” she whispered. “Or what? You’re going to try and kill me again? I’m tired of it all Amber. I can’t deal with this shit anymore.” She grabbed my arms and dug her nails into them. I winced in pain but, I never let go. I was so ready to just kill her right here, and get it over with. I was tired of the pain she was putting me threw. I was never the one to put my hands on a woman, but she was different. She was the only one that took me there. I grabbed her even tighter she started to gasp for air. “Just stop it Amber!” I screamed at her. She shook her head, and I clenched my teeth. I could just go all the way right now, I swear I could. But, what would that do for me? “Okay Bruno.” she said barely able to breathe. I didn’t believe her, but I loosened up my grip. I still never let go of her.
“I’m sorry Bruno.” “You’re not sorry.” I whispered. She looked directly at me, “No.. I really am..” “I don’t believe you, I will NEVER trust you. But, I’ll listen to what you have to say.” “Can you let me go first?” I stared at her for a couple seconds, I really didn’t want to let her go. I didn’t trust her for shit. “If you try ANYTHING crazy, I swear I will be done with you.” She nodded, “I promise.” I let her go and got up off of her. I buttoned my shirt back up, “Talk.” She took a deep breath.
“In high school as you know, I loved you. More then you knew. We we’re friends, but I just wanted us to be way more then that. But, every other day I would see you serenade other girls, and chase after them. While I sat there just watching. I would cry at night for you, but you never came.” I shook my head. She had really lost it. “When you left for L.A. I missed you more then you could ever imagine. I got depressed, my life started falling apart. I turned to drugs, and alcohol.” I looked down, I didn’t think I affected her life that much.
“I never gave any other guy the time of day if they weren’t like you. I ended up in a gang where I met people that I knew was going down the wrong path in life. But, I followed them anyway.” She paused. I could tell she was holding back tears. “They taught me that if I wanted something that I should do any and everything for it, even if it mean’t killing someone.” I looked at her, she had really let herself go just for my attention. She made me feel selfish.
“I found out that you went to UCLA, and I went there too. I searched everywhere for you, and I didn’t see you again till that night when you and Diamond we’re together. I watched the both of you everywhere you guys went. I got jealous, and I wanted you both to be miserable.” I shook my head, “Amber.. that’s terrible.” A single tear fell down her face. “All I ever did was love you Bruno.” I shook my head, “If you loved me, then you wouldn’t try and kill me..” “If I can’t have you no one can.” I stared at her, she was crazy. A lot crazier then I thought. I needed to think of something, quickly. “What do you love the most after me?” I asked….
Chapter 43
She just stared at me, “What do you mean?” “What do you love the most after me?” I said making my words clear. “Music.” she mumbled. I heard exactly what she said, but I wanted her to say it again. “Huh?” “Music Bruno! You know it means a lot to me. That’s all we used to talk about in high school.” I nodded, “Right.” She frowned at me, “Why do you care?” “Because you’re still one of my first friends, I understand you’re pain.” “Cut the bullshit, what are you going to do?”
“I’ll dedicate a song to you, if YOU cut the bullshit.” “What do you mean dedicate?” “I’ll write a song from your point of view, and I’ll put in on my album.” She looked away, “You wouldn’t do that..” I shifted positions, “No, I swear I will. But, you have to leave us alone.” She looked at me again, “What’s the song going to be called?” I took a deep breath, “Grenade.” She looked at me like I had lost my mind, “What? That’s stupid.” “Just wait, you’ll understand.” She didn’t say anything so I scooted closer to her and whispered in her ear, “And it’ll be our little thing we have together. No one else will understand or know about this. I promise.” “Our special thing?” “Yes.” “No one else will know?” “I promise.” “On your album?” “Absouletly.” She took a deep breath and I put my hand on her shoulder, “Deal?”
She looked down, “Deal.” I stood up, “Alright well I’m gonna leave now..” “Bruno, the song better be good.” “I got you. I promise.” I said walking towards the door. “I’ll leave you and your dumb girlfriend alone. But, if you don’t fall threw you will have hell to pay.” I nodded, “Yes ma’am.” I turned to her one last time, “Thank you.” She rolled her eyes, “You’re welcome..” I went out, closed the door and hurried to my car. I jumped in and threw my head back and breathed deeply.
I couldn’t believe that worked. Only time will tell if it honestly truly did. I’m going to fall through on my side of the deal. Maybe it would stop all the crazy shit from happening. She was not the same person that she used to be, she really went way down hill. I just wanted the problems in my life to go away and it looked like once again music was going to be the answer. I started the car and made my way home.
I opened one eye and it was pitch black. I didn’t even realize I had fell asleep. I leaned up on my elbows and looked around. All of the girls we’re sleeping. I slowly sat up and crept around everyone and made my way into the bedroom. Bruno wasn’t home yet. I frowned a bit to myself but, I still just hoped for the better. I changed into my pajamas and fell into my bed. I pulled the blankets up on me and put myself into a ball. I missed Bruno so much right now. I kept telling myself that he was okay, and he did the right thing. I closed my eyes and began drifting off to sleep. But, then I heard the front door creep open.
I slowly shut the front door behind me. I was trying to make as little noise as possible. I tip-toed around everyone and went into the bedroom. I slowly closed the door behind me. I stripped down to my boxers and crawled into the bed behind Diamond. I started to put my arms around her and she flipped over quickly. We just stared into each other’s eyes. I took her in my arms and she buried her head in my chest. I stroked her hair. It was like we both could feel each other’s pain. “Diamond.” I whispered. She looked up at me and whispered back, “Bruno.”…..
Chapter 44
“I love you.” he said stroking my hair. “I love you too.” I pulled him closer to me. “Please don’t leave me.” he whispered. “I’m not..” He closed his eyes and held me tighter, “Please don’t ever leave me.” He was getting me emotional again, “I won’t.” “Promise me.” I shook my head, “I can’t promise you that.” He opened his eyes, “Why?” “Because I can’t. You couldn’t promise me earlier, so I’m not.” He nodded, “Okay.” I felt like I had hurt his feelings by saying that, but he hurt mine earlier. I still had no idea what had just happened between him and Amber, and I didn’t want to know. I would let him deal with all it. I was just going to stay out of the way.
A month went by and everyday it got a little less awkward between everyone. Me and Bruno took my mom out for Mother’s Day and got her a new some things. My mom loves Bruno so much, and I’m glad because she knew how hard it was for me to trust guys. Bruno’s EP got realeased and it earned him the 99th spot on the Billboard 200 Charts, it wasn’t the highest but it mean’t something to all of us. It also earned him his first single with the help of Cee-Lo and B.o.B.
Most days we’re once again spent in the studio, while other nights I was helping Carla plan her wedding. Karmen learned her lesson and she only came around when we needed help on his album. He finally played Just The Way You Are for the guys and they fell in love with it. It was going to be his first single. We didn’t come across any problems, and we we’re argument free. He was sometimes busy perfecting this song that I didn’t quite understand. But, he told me that it was really important to him, so I just left it alone.
July rolled around, and Just The Way You Are was set to be realeased in two weeks.
“Na na scratch that.” I said to Ari. “Why?” I shrugged, “It sounds dumb.” “Aw come on Brunz, you haven’t liked anything we’ve played for you today.” I laid my notebook on the table, “Listen this song has to be right. It was to be perfect.” They both sighed and went back to the mixing board. I pulled out my phone and texted Diamond. (Hey babe, how’s the fitting going?) I picked up my notebook and started writing again. (It’s going okay right now, it’s hard for all of us to agree on one style of dress.) (Sounds like a girl problem to me, I’ll stay out of that.) I smiled to myself, I couldn’t wait for the day where she would be picking out a dress for our wedding. (You got enough problems on you’re hands. But, you jut keep your head up babe.) (You know I will. I can’t wait to see you later. :)) (Me either. <3)
I tossed my phone into the couch, “I love ya’ll man.” They both turned around and looked at me crazy. “What? I can’t show love?” I said putting my arms out. They both just laughed and waved me off. I knew they loved me too, but for the last couple of weeks I was feeling really loved. Everything was finally right. All the pieces of the puzzles we’re finally clear. My name was becoming more and more popular. I just had to get past putting my first solo record out. I was so anxious, you just don’t know if people are going to react to your style of music.
My phone started to ring, Ryan. “What’s up? You hear anything back?” “Yeah man, I think he’s going to fit in perfect.” I smiled, “Alright, when do I get to meet him?” “I mean you can today if you want.” “Alright, bring him over to the studio.”……
Chapter 45
“Alright we’ll be over in an hour.” he said. I hung up. “We got another guitarist coming.” I said smiling. “Alright!” Phil said. We had been looking out for a couple guys to play instruments since we planned on going on tour for my album. I was excited to go on tour, my name was finally going to be in shining lights.
We finally agreed on a dress for everyone, and decided we would go to check out the hall for the reception. We arrived and I really liked the hall, it seemed big enough and the price was reasonable. Carla was so excited for the whole process, you would think she would be overwhelmed. I guess it could be a mixture of both. We left transportation, and food up to Karmeron. He seemed to be okay with that. Tori had a friend of her’s do the cake and I helped with anything I could. With all the talented friends she had, she didn’t have to hire a wedding planner.
She ended up asking Bruno to perform at the wedding and of course I was ecstatic about that. I couldn’t wait to see Bruno in that damn tuxedo, it was killing me. After spending most of the day getting fitted for dresses and looking at the hall we dedicated we would all go to The Palm for dinner. We went and I made sure I got myself a nice steak. I looked at my phone and it was already almost 10 P.M. I decided to head home since I had work early tomorrow.
I was writing again when there was a knock on the door. Phil waved at me, “I got it.” I nodded and continued writing. I was almost done with this song and I would finally be able to put a melody to it. I heard laughter and I looked up to see Ryan and Phil walk in with a asian guy. I stood up and shook his hand, “I’m Bruno man, nice to meet you.”
He nodded, “I’m Kenjamin Chan, nice to meet you Bruno.” “Wanna throw on a guitar and show me what you got?” I said looking over to the guitars. “It would be my pleasure.” We went and threw on guitars and started playing random keys and notes. He was really good, better then I expected honestly. After we we’re done I shook his hand again, “Not bad man, not bad at all.” He smiled, “Thanks I appreciate it.” I looked over to Ryan and nodded. He picked a good one. I took off my guitar and set up back on the rack.
“So Kenjamin, is it any kind of nickname that we can call you?” “Kenji is fine.” “Kenji it is my man!” I said sitting back on the couch. Phil shook his hand, “Welcome.” “Thanks guys, I’m really looking forward to going on tour.” he said looking around to everyone. “So am I.” I said kicking my feet up. I could just see it now, me and all of these guys touring the world, playing sold out shows. I still wasn’t done finding everyone though, but Kameron told me he had a friend to introduce me too that could possibly play base alongside me.
I walked straight into the house and hung my keys up and fell right into the couch. I had no idea why I was so tired. I looked up to the clock on the wall, it was 10:17 P.M. I wondered what magic Bruno and the guys we’re making in the studio tonight. My phone started ringing startling me. I struggled to get it out of my pocket. It was Deondrea, he never calls me this late. “Hello?” “Diamond.” “Yes..?” “What are you doing?” I sat up a little bit, “Well, I just got in…why what’s up?” The phone got silent, he was scaring me. “Deondrea, what’s going on?”……
Chapter 46
“Our company is closing down.” “What?!” I said sitting all the way up on the couch. “I know, I don’t know what I’m going to do.” I shook my head, “It’s going to be okay.” “Not really, it’s going to be hard for me to find a new job.” “Aww, you’re smart and talented I’m sure you can find another job..” He breathed deeply, “I hope so.. We’re supposedly having the meeting about it all tomorrow.” “Damn, well I’m going to help you out as much as possible okay?” “Thanks Diamond, I really appreciate it.” I smiled to myself, “You’re welcome anytime. Now, get some rest okay?” “Alright, goodnight.” I hung up and took a deep breathe, I thought that my company worked everything out. I knew Bruno would act like he was upset, but he had been wanting me to quit for years.
After sitting around talking and getting to know Kenji more, we decided we would all head home. “Wait, what’s tomorrow?” Phil asked turning off the equipment. I looked at him crazy, “Wednesday?” “Don’t give me that look, I don’t make fun of you when you forget your own name.” I just shook my head and laughed. We all walked out and I locked the door behind me. “We all need to be back in here Thursday, we got rehearsals for Carla’s wedding Friday.” Everyone agreed and I jumped in my car and started it up. I finally got home after stopping at every fucking red light.
I went in and hung my keys up. “Diamondddd.” I said, my voice echoed around the house. “I’m in the living room babe.” I went in and she patted the couch next to her, welcoming me to sit next to her. I sat down and put my arm around her and kissed her. “Mmm..” I missed your lips. She smiled and kissed me again. “What ya’ watching?” I said holding her tighter. “Nothing…babe I gotta tell you something.” she said putting her hand on my thigh.
I frowned, “What’s up?” “My company is closing down.” “Huh?” “Yeah, I’m out of a job now.” I didn’t mean to smile but, I did. I had been wanting her to quit FOREVER. I hugged her, “Babe I told you, I can take care of you.” “If you say so Bruno..” she said slowly. I grabbed both of her hands and leaned my head into her’s, “I promise.” She smiled and I kissed her again. I looked down to my watch, “Is that why you we’re up so late?” She nodded. “Well, do you still have to go tomorrow?” She took a deep breath, “Yep, the meeting about it is tomorrow.” I stood up and reached out for her hand, “Well let’s get to bed, I want you to be on time.”
He helped me up and we went into the room. We both stripped down and jumped into the bed. I laid in his arms and of course he fell asleep before me. I had a lot on my mind, so it was really hard for me to sleep. Eventually, I cleared my mind enough to fall into a deep sleep.
I woke up, and looked over to my alarm clock. Great, I woke up 6 minutes before it was set to go off. I slowly crawled out of bed and dragged myself to the bathroom. I showered and felt way better afterwards. This was going to be the last day I would have to drag myself out of Bruno’s arms. It felt good, but at the same time it didn’t. I walked back in the room to see Bruno sitting in the bed still in his boxers, strumming his guitar. “Why are you up so early?” I asked smiling. “Your damn alarm clock.”
I put my hand on my mouth, “I’m sorry.” He smiled, “Nah babe, it’s okay.” I continued getting dressed. “You want breakfast?” he said unexpectedly I looked at him crazy, “Bruno, what are you going to make me?” He hopped up and set his guitar against the wall, “You’ll see!” He ran out the room smiling like a fool. I laughed and continued getting dressed. After about 10 minutes I was done but, I still didn’t smell or hear anything.
I walked out into the kitchen and he had two plates with pop tarts on them and two glasses of milk. He stretched out his arms and smiled like a fool, “Taa daahh!” I laughed and went and hugged him, “You did all of this, for me?” I said sarcastically. He slid the plate close to me, “And I even made your favorite kind.” All I could do was smile at how cute he was, “Thanks babe.” Right before I could bite into my pop tart, Bruno yelled wait. I looked at him crazy, “What?” He came close to me and grabbed my hips, he put his seducing face on. “Since I made you this extravagant breakfast, you gotta give me something in return..”….
Chapter 47
I swallowed hard, “Bruno..I gotta go to work..” He started kissing on my neck and whispered in my ear, “I know.” This boy was horny all the damn time. We ended up making out and before it could get any farther I put my hand on his chest to stop him. “Can’t it wait till’ I get home?” I said frowning a bit. He pointed down to himself, “Does it look like it?” I looked down and he was really hard. I quickly looked back up to his face, “Uhh.. it doesn’t.. but I’m sorry!” He put his lip out, “Please really quick.” I always gave in when he used the pouty lip, but this time I didn’t. “Later, I promise.” He took a deep breath, “Okay…” We both continued eating our pop tarts and talking about the wedding next week. Time had been flying lately. When we we’re done he took up our plates and cups and I grabbed my things.
He walked me to the door and kissed me, “Remember what you got coming later.” he said looking me up and down. I smirked, “Okay Bru.” He closed the door behind me and I jumped in my car and fixed my rearview mirror. Off to work for the last time. When I finally got to my office Deondrea was there with my coffee. “Aww, thanks so much.” I said putting my purse down. “Your welcome, I figured since this was the last time I would be doing this, I would make it special.” I smiled and sipped it.
I closed my eyes, it was delicious. “You made it perfectly.” He nodded and smiled, “Alright.” He pulled up his slevee and looked at his watch, “We got that meeting in about 10 minutes.” I sighed, “Damn man, I am going to kind of miss coming to work with you.” I said honestly. Even though I would be able to sleep in, it still wasn’t worth the fun times I had with Deondrea.
I sat on the couch flipping threw channels and channels. I was so damn bored without the studio. I was also still horny from this morning. I shifted positions trying to take my mind off of sex. No matter how many times I moved around and watched TV I couldn’t take my mind off of it. I couldn’t wait till’ Diamond got home. She was still going to be at work for another 5 hours. I looked down to myself, and then back up to the TV. I shook my head, I can’t do that. I mean no one was here, so why not? After fighting with myself for 30 minutes I went in the bathroom and closed the door behind me.
We walked out of the meeting and went back into my office. I closed the door behind me. As soon as it was closed Deondrea grabbed his head and yelled, “Fuck!” I frowned, “Are you okay?” He sat down in my chair and put his head down, “I’m not going to find a job better then this.” I went over and sat on the arm of the chair and rubbed his back. “I promise it’s going to be okay.” I whispered. He looked up at me, “I don’t even know where to start looking for work again.” I shook my head, “I’m going to help you okay, I’ll make sure you find work soon.” I did owe Deondrea honestly. He was the one who in all realitily saved Bruno’s life. He smiled, “Thanks Diamond, you’re always so sweet.” I shook my head, “It’s nothing, you deserve it.” We both stared into each other’s eyes, and I felt myself leaning in towards him.
I came out of the bathroom feeling much better. I hadn’t done that in awhile, but I had to. I went in the bedroom and grabbed my towel and headed for a shower.
For some reason we both never stopped leaning in towards each other, and we kissed. I backed away quickly and looked away. He grabbed my face and turned it towards him and kissed me again. Once again I didn’t reject. Why was I not rejecting?! “Deondrea.” I whispered. “What?” I shook my head, “Bru—” He cut me off, “What he doesn’t know won’t hurt em.” I can’t lie, I had always had a small spot in my heart for Deondrea ever since high school, but I was in love with Bruno. I could never do anything like that to him. “But… I—” He cut me off again but this time with a kiss and this kiss was really passionate. What am I getting myself into?……
Chapter 48
He stood me up and we kept kissing. He put his hand under my shirt and rubbed me down. I loved the way he was touching me. It was like I had no control, I didn’t stop him. Before I knew it my pants we’re down. I am really going to do this?
I walked into the bedroom and dried my hair off. I felt a whole lot better after that. I went to my closet and picked up a red and white plaid shirt and some jeans. I left my hair like it was today, I didn’t plan on going anywhere. I went to the back room where we never went and I played random keys on the piano.
I didn’t ever picture myself cheating on Bruno, but I was so caught in the moment that I didn’t bother stopping for nothing. Without thinking twice I was on his lap and he was inside me.
I ended up playing Just The Way You Are a few times familiarizing myself with the keys on the piano as much as possible. I would be playing this live in a couple months, that’s if it was even a successful song. I even found myself a new melody that I planned on using in some song. I took down a metal note of the keys.
I kept going and going, it was like I had always wanted to do these things with him. He was loving it as well, and he wasn’t bad at all either. We both got done at the same time and I laid there on him out of breath. All at once, I regretted what I had just done. I got off of him quickly and got dressed. He pulled his underwear and pants back up, “What’s wrong?” I just shook my head, I had no words. He walked towards me, “I’m sorry…” I looked up at him, “Not as sorry as I’m going to be..” “Look, we’ll keep it a secret okay?” I nodded, “Please.” He leaned in to kiss me but this time I backed away. He shook his head, “Okay, I’m sorry!”
I sat down in my chair behind my desk and put my head down, “I can’t believe I just did that.” I never wanted to get back at Bruno or anything. I was just as bad as him, and I wasn’t even drinking. I looked up at him and his face was blank. I had no idea how we even got into doing that. I hadn’t felt this bad about anything in my entire life.
I sat at the bar eating a sandwich that I just threw together. Diamond was all over my mind. I wished that she was here to cook for me. I was so happy that from now on she wouldn’t ever have to leave me here alone. I ran my fingers threw my hair, and slumped down. It felt good to rest still. I decided to take a nap on the couch to kill the time.
“Are we done for today?” I asked breaking the awkward silence. He looked around and rubbed his hands together, “I mean I guess so..” I stood up and gathered my things together, I was so ready to get out of here. It was weird being in the same room with him after we had just had sex. “Well Deondrea, we’ll keep in touch.” I said walking towards the door. “For the right reasons.” I threw in. “Alright, thanks for everything again.” I turned around to him and looked at him one last time, “You’re welcome.”
I finally got down to the parking lot and got into my car. I put my head on the steering wheel. I could cry right now. My emotions we’re everywhere. How could I keep something like this a secret? I was so mad at myself for letting it happen. What kind of girlfriend am I? And I wanted to get married so bad.. Before I could let myself cry, I started the car and drove myself home.
I pulled up in the driveway and stared at the front door. I had a feeling I would break down as soon as I seen Bruno. I sat there for 10 minutes, trying to make sense of everything in my head. I looked in the rearview mirror and fixed my hair. I got out and closed the door. It felt like everything was in slow motion. I nervously walked to the front door and unlocked it. My hands we’re trembling like crazy.
I slowly walked in and closed the door behind me. I was just waiting for Bruno to jump out at me. I walked into the living room to find him on the couch, I peered over it and he looked sleep. I quietly tip toed past the couch to go towards the bedroom. He started to stir and leaned up and smiled at me, “You’re home.” I stopped in my tracks and awkwardly smiled back, “Yeah..” He sat up on the couch, “How was the last day of work?” Today’s events flashed threw my head and I was lost for words. I know it showed on my face, I was not good at hiding my emotions, at all. He turned all the way around and frowned at me, “What’s wrong…?”…….
Chapter 49
I opened my mouth to say something, but instead I burst into tears. I put my face in my hands and before I knew it he was holding me. “Diamond, what is going on?” he said rocking me back and forth. I couldn’t bring myself to say it.
I stroked her hair, and kept whispering to her, “It’s okay babe, whatever it is, it’s okay.” She cried even harder and I held her closer to me. I had no idea what was going on, but she was scaring me. I kept kissing her, “Baby please tell me what happened?” She still didn’t respond. I kept holding her and I was never going to let go. She finally calmed down a bit and we unlocked. I helped her wipe the tears from her face. She shook her head and looked down, “Bruno..” “Yes?” “I’m sorry.” I was starting to get upset, “Sorry for what?” “Everything.” I took her in my arms again, “You don’t need to be sorry, it’s not you’re fault.” I was guessing that everything we had been going threw hit her all at once.
“Come on babe, you need to lay down.” I said picking her up. I carried her into the bedroom and laid her down as soft as I could. I crawled into bed with her and held her close again. She was still crying and I kept wiping her tears. “Babe, what’s on your mind?” I said staring her into her eyes.
I just stared at him, I couldn’t tell him something like this. I couldn’t even form the words into a sentence. “Can I tell you later?” I finally said. He nodded, “Sure I’ll wait till’ you’re ready.” I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. He kissed my forehead and hummed a song to me. Before I knew it, I was sleep.
I watched her as she went into a deep sleep. I never knew that all these situations we’re taking a toll on her like that. I had never seen her cry like this before. I would make it my job to make sure everything was smooth from here on out. She never deserved to cry. I sat and watched her sleep for awhile, I observed every little thing on her face.
I woke up to Bruno’s face right in mine, he was sleeping and he had never let me go. It made me want to cry again. He had no idea what was going on yet, he still was here for me. I peered over to the window and the sun had already went down. I laid there for awhile fighting tears and trying to figure out a way to tell him. Before I could think of something hunger hit me hard. “Bruno.” I whispered. “Hmm..” he responded his eyes still closed. “Are you hungry?” He opened his eyes and smiled, “I don’t know yet, I’m kind of still sleep.” I smiled for the first time in awhile. “Nevermind, I’m hungry now.” I laughed and kissed him.
I let her go and we both crawled out of the bed. I stretched and walked out into the living room. She followed behind me. “What you going to make?” “I don’t know I have to check on what we got.” I went and sat at the bar and watched her go in the fridge. She came out shaking her head. I frowned a bit, “Nothing good?” “Not really.” “I kind of want some chinese.” I said licking my lips. She smirked, “Sounds good.” “I’ll get the menu!” I said running to the bedroom.
I walked over to the bar and put my head down, I really needed to tell him. I hated keeping secrets, but he was just so happy, and I didn’t want to ruin that. I had no idea how he would react. I heard my phone ringing from a distance and I started towards the bedroom. “Helllooo?” I heard Bruno say. “How you been man? Me? Good. Yeah here she is, sorry about that.” He handed me the phone, “It’s Deondrea.” My stomach dropped, “Uhh thanks….”
Chapter 50
“Hello?” “Hi, how are you?” He was honestly the last person I wanted to talk to right now. “I’m fine, yourself?” “Im good.” Bruno stood there watching me, why was he just watching me?! “Cool.. so what’s up?” “Well I just got home, and I realized that I’m really lonely.” I frowned, “Huh?” “You should come over for awhile.” I shook my head, was he out of his fucking mind. I just told him what the deal was. Bruno frowned at me and mouthed what’s wrong. “I don’t think that would be…okay.” “Why not? You already did it once, it dosen’t matter anymore. You know we both always wanted to be together.” I couldn’t believe he was saying all of this, and it made it even worst that it all was true. “Deondrea, I can’t.” I said looking down. I could no longer look Bruno in the eyes while I was talking to him. “Come on Dymez, don’t play me now, I need you more then ever.” I froze up.
I had no idea what the fuck was going on, but I didn’t like it. I went close to her, “Diamond, what’s going on?” She didn’t respond and she kept looking down. “Give me the phone.” She instatnly looked up and backed away shaking her head. I frowned and raised my voice, “Just give it to me.” She handed it to me and put her hand over her mouth, what in the hell. “Deondrea, what’s going on man?” “I’ll let her tell you.” and he hung up. I looked at the phone and frowned. “What in the fuck?” I said looking back at Diamond. She kept shaking her head and she looked like she was going to cry again.
I walked up to her slowly and took a deep breath. “Just tell me.” She looked up at me, “Bruno, I swear I… I don’t know why I did it!” she yelled. She was really making me angry now, I went even closer to her, “What did you do?” I said making my words clear.
I couldn’t even look at him, his voice was already scaring me enough. And if I told him, things would get way worst then this. He grabbed my arms, “Damnit Diamond, just fucking tell me!” he yelled. “We had sex, I don’t know why I didn’t stop!” I cried. He shook his head, “What?” “I told you, I’m sorry, I swear I am.” I kept crying. He pulled my face up his, “Why?” His eyes tore me apart on the inside. I shook my head, “I don’t know.” He looked away and shook his head, “You we’re just trying to get back at me weren’t you?” “No, I forgave you, it’s not that!” He looked back at me and nodded his head, “Yeah you we’re..”
I let her go and backed away. I didn’t know what to feel. I couldn’t be mad because of all that I had did to her in the past. But, at the same time I felt completely fucked over. I guess that tables had turned. All at once, I got really angry. “I need to go.” I whispered. “Bruno, please don’t leave.” she cried. I started to walk out the door and she grabbed my arm, I snatched it away, “Don’t touch me.” I said strongly. She let me go quickly. I stormed into the living room and took my keys off of the rack.
She followed behind me begging me not to leave. Before I walked out the door I turned to her, “Diamond, just let me go please before I do something that I will regret, okay?” She nodded, “Okay..” I slammed the door behind me and jumped in my car. I just needed to calm down, I went to the nearest liquor store.
I sat at the bar and put my head down. No matter how much we tried to keep things perfect, it never worked out. I started to think maybe we just shouldn’t be together anymore. Maybe it was god trying to tell us that it will never work. It hurted to think those kinds of things but, the way things kept happening it seemed true. I was doubting if I had ever even loved Bruno in the first place.
I pulled my shades on and went into the store. I bought myself some whiskey and got out of the there as quick as possible. I was hoping no one noticed me because I was bound to tell them the wrong thing. I drove myself to the studio and went in and slumped in the couch. I pulled out the bottle of whiskey and sat it on the table in front of me. I was tired of drinking, but it was the only thing that got me away from the harsh reality that I was living….