Chapter 46
I run over to where they put him down on the couch and so does everyone else. “Baby what’s wrong!?” “Fuuuuck, Ryan you bastard!! It’s all your fucking fault!!!” Bruno yells. “Dude!! It was an accident!! I’m sorry!” Ryan says, I’m guessing he’s Ryan, but he does look genuinely upset. I turn to Eric seen as the other two won’t give me an answer “Ryan kneed Bruno in the balls as he went to dunk the ball” All the other girls start to laugh and even I have to try hard to hold my laughter back. Bruno’s jump shot sucks so I don’t even know why he was playing. “Aaaaaahhhhh” Bruno yells as he moves in pain. Poor thing. “Yo Brunz, calm your pussy ass down! You aint got much down there anyway…….” Eric says unimpressed. “GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE!!!” Bruno says. “Fine, come on Ryan” and they both leave. Ice. Ice is what he needs. I leave him with his mom to go get him some ice and some painkillers. I see his sisters have all moved away from Bruno and are back looking at our clothes again. “Leeeeexxxxx!” “I’m coming” it must hurt him a lot. I rush back over to him and hand his mom the ice pack which she puts on him. I hand Bruno the painkillers but he just looks at me and opens his mouth. What a baby! But I place both pills in his mouth, bring the water up to his mouth too whilst he takes a sip. He’s so cute when he’s like this. After a while I look down and notice that his jeans are quite thick, hmmmmm, I look at Bernie and say “The ice isn’t gonna help him when his jeans are that thick” She nods and says “Yeah, you’re right. We need to take them off” As she starts to undo his buttons Bruno moans “Mooooomm, don’t!!! At least let Lex do it” OH GOD BRUNO. So I do as he says and remove his jeans and place the ice pack back on him. I sit next to him on the couch and take his hand. Bernie sits opposite us on the couch. He turns his head and kisses me; he lingers on the kiss for a while before he pulls back out of pain. Occasionally he’ll curse about how much it still hurts, but for the most part he’s silent. He then slowly changes his position so his head is resting on my lap. I wipe his tears away and start to run my fingers through his hair like I know he likes. After a while I ask “You feeling better?” he just shakes his head. About 5 minutes later I look down at Bruno and see he’s fast asleep. I love him so much. I decide to gently move so he can sleep better and place a pillow under his head. I don’t move far, I sit in front of him on the floor. He starts to snore, yeah, he’s definitely asleep. Bernie turns the TV on and we both watch. About half an hour later when it starts to get dark, I look at Bruno and he’s still fast asleep but the ice has all melted, I change his ice pack and bring him back a new one. I wish Bernie wasn’t sitting right behind me. Fuck It, I decide to look and see if he’s ok. I lift his boxers up and take a look, I know Bernie is watching me but I need to make sure he’s ok. I look and decide to place the ice pack inside his boxers. As I do Bruno moans, and I mean he MOANS “Fuuuuuucccckkkkk” I stop. I look at him and he’s looking right back at me with a huge smug smile on his face. IDIOT!! I whack him with a pillow and whisper “Your mom’s over their!!” his head whips round to Bernie and says “Sorry mommy…..” Fool. “Baby, how you feeling?” I say as I run my fingers through his hair and peck him on the lips. “Not good Lex, it still hurts so badly. Wait. You moved, come back, you’re more comfortable than the pillow anyway” he says as he sits up slowly so I can sit where I was, and I sit back in my old position. He leans his head back on me and closes his eyes, he’s not sleeping, I can tell, but he looks so peaceful on my lap like this. I can feel Bernie staring at us intensely. Awkward.
“Baby I need to pee” he says after a while. Bernie left to go clean her kitchen so it’s just us. “So? Go pee” He gives me an annoyed look slowly sits up and says “I’d help you if you needed it, I feel better actually, help me up?” and I do. “Walk me to the bathroom?” and I do that too. “Walk me inside?” Ok, seriously, what is he getting at here? I walk him inside and watch him pull hi-“THE FUCK!” he just laughs and continues to pee in front of me. Obviously I don’t watch. “Ugh, you have issues Bruno” “Wait. Stop. Hahahahahaha. I can’t pee when I’m laughing!! Hahahahahaha” I move back and wait for him by the door. He finishes, washes his hands and walks over to me “I love yoouuu” he says whilst still laughing. Before I can tell him how gross he is, he kisses me. But it’s a loving slow kiss. I pull back and say “I love you too” and we go back inside. We sit and watch a movie for a while; I look through his movie collection and see Sandlot. PERFECT. I snuggle up close to Bruno and we watch it together.
Halfway through the movie the door bell rings and Bernie lets someone in. “Hey dude, how you feeling?” Ryan says as he sits opposite us. I try to sit up from Bruno but he still holds me close to him. “I feel better actually, you still suck though” “I know *he turns and looks at me* Hey Lex, I’m Ryan, Bruno’s best friend in the whole fucking world” “Yeah baby, that’s what he likes to think” With great difficulty I pry myself away from Bruno who’s still holding me close to him and say “Hey Ryan, are you the same Ryan that’s been friends with him since he was little?” “Yuppp, see what I mean? He loves me” “Wait, wait, let me introduce you both. Ryan, this is Lexii, my best friend that I fuck and like a lot more than you. Lex, this is Ryan, my other best friend that I don’t fuck.” I just laugh at this and decide to ask “So what was Bruno like in high school then??” “Uhhh, I don’t think we need to hear about that” Ryan puts his hand up to silence Bruno. “Oh, I think we do” he replies. “Bruno was always, and still is, a ladies’ man, he’d write songs for girls and secretly send it to them. Oh yeah, and he’d serenade girls in the hall!!” “No way!!! What was their reaction!?” “They found him creepy, you know, this guy with an awesome voice, but HUGE afro and weird taste in clothes” “Awwwhhh baby” I say as I turn to look at him. He just looks shocked at Ryan. “Thanks bro” he says. “Lex, you’ve seen pictures of Brunz with his afro right?” “Oh yeah, I’ve seen them…..” “Baby, you’d still date me if I had the fro right? Because I gotta be honest, sometimes I think about growing it back” “Of course I’d still date you you dumbass” “Thank fuck, because I’d NEVER grow my hair like that again!” “One thing Bruno always did, that I actually respected was that he’d date ugly girls” Ryan says dead seriously. Uhm, ok then, I wait for him to continue but Bruno speaks instead “Hey! They were not UGLY; they just weren’t your “typical” beauties that’s all” “So you dated them because they had beautiful personalities huh?” I say with a huge smile on my face. “Yeah baby I did. But you’re hot, so I date you for BOTH those reasons” “Hell yeah you do! Ohhh, you guys watching Sandlot!? I LOVE this movie” Ryan says as he gets comfortable on the couch. When I realise Ryan isn’t looking at us, I turn and kiss Bruno, he’s such a good person it’s unreal. Bruno takes the kiss a little too far but I don’t object. He pulls away “Ouchhh, Fuck, it still hurts. Baby you wanna sort it out for me? Kiss it better?” “BOOYAH MY BROTHER!!” Ryan calls. “Hahaha, sure, if Ryan leaves I’ll do it” “Ryan, get the fuck out of my house” “Nope” Ryan says as he gets comfortable again. “I guess no sex for you tonight then…..” I say as I go and join Bernie in the kitchen.
I find her and the girls cutting up all this food, why is she cutting up SO much!? “Bernie, why are you making so much food?” “The family is coming round tonight Lex, they’re coming to see you and Bruno” I look around and there is a LOT of food, wow, his family must be huge……Great. I help her with making the food and also learn how to make a couple of Bruno’s favourite dishes too; I think I’ll make these for him when we get back. I hear the doorbell ring. Here we go…..
Before I know it, a whole bunch of people walk in, I just stand there in shock. Luckily Bruno instantly is by my side, he was right when he said he wouldn’t leave me when we got out here. He puts his arm around me as everyone starts to walk in to the kitchen. About 30 people all walk in, they can’t all be his family! Can they? I get introduced to every single one of them; they all seem so sweet and kind, just like Bruno. I meet all of his sister’s husbands/boyfriends, his cousins, aunts and uncles all one by one. I look up at Bruno and see he has a HUGE smile on his face which instantly makes me smile; I love it when he’s happy. After I’ve met everyone, we sit at the table where Bernie has laid the food out like a buffet and we both start to eat something, well Bruno does, I don’t really feel that hungry. I know it’s wrong and I shouldn’t feel like this, but I do. I’m not used to all this “close family” stuff. I’m just not; it was always just me and my Mom. I don’t belong here within this huge family. I’m not used to it. I didn’t grow up like this, and just to see everyone else so submerged in their family makes me depressed. I deserved to grow up with a family too but it was always just me. Alone. I need a fucking drink. “Baby what’s wrong!?” Bruno asks concerned, shit. I smile and try to do my best to lie to him “Nothing, will you pour me a drink please?” “Sure, what do you want?” “Anything, just give me the same as what you’re gonna have” he nods but doesn’t look happy. Shit, why does he have to read me so well!? He comes back with a Shandy for me (Beer mixed with lemonade) and a beer for himself. He takes my hand but doesn’t look at me. Fuck. After a while he turns and kisses me, next thing I know all I can hear is his family going “Woooooooooooooo!!” I pull back out of embarrassment and Bruno just laughs and just to see him smiling again makes me smile too. I should stop drinking, but I can’t….
I need just a little time alone, so I go upstairs to our room and have a smoke. When I come back downstairs Bruno’s not there, that’s strange. I decide to look outside in the yard and there he is. Playing ball with the children, he really is amazing with kids. Just watching him play with them and to see him so happy is really nice to see. I know he’s going to be a great dad someday. I watch him for a while before he notices me “Baby I gotta pee” I just give him this bitch please face. “No no no no!! Hahahahaha, just play with the kids until I get back ok? Unless you wanna come again?” he says through laughter, I whack him on the arm and grab the ball. I go up to the kids and wow, they’re friendly and not shy at all, instantly we start to play and somehow we just end up chasing each other. I suck at this! These kids are fast. Knowing me and my clumsiness I trip on God knows what and all the kids jump on me, I try to sit up but they’ve got me pinned down! I just laugh and stay there. “Lexiiiiiiiiiiii…..” One of the kids says. “Yeeeeeessss?” They all start to giggle, bless them. “Lexii are you gonna marry Bruno one day!?” “Hahahaha maybe, if he asks me” “Ooooh and do you kiss him!?” “Yuhuhhhh” “Eeeeeeewwww” awwhh bless these innocent children. At that moment Bruno comes outside “Hey guys, what are we all laughing about!?” he says as he joins us on the floor. The kids just start to laugh again; it’s so cute to watch them. “Well, they just asked me if we kiss” they start to laugh even louder. “Oh really? What, like this?” and he kisses me on the lips “Eeeeeeewww!!” they all say as they get up and run away. “Awwwhhh, they’re all so amazing” I say as Bruno sits behind me, I rest my head on his chest and look up to the sky. He starts to kiss my neck and says “Yeah, they are amazing, baby do you want kids one day?” I just smile and nod. “Good, because I do, but only on one condition” “What’s that?” I ask genuinely confused. “Well, I only want kids if they’re with you” “I love you” “I love you too Lex”
I come back downstairs from having another smoke and find Bruno in the yard again with the kids, but they’re keeping their voices down, why? What are they talking about? I hide behind the door and listen “Bruno are you gonna marry her soon!?” He jokes around with them “Definitely! One day, if she says yes, do you think she will?” “Yeahhh!! We asked her earlier!” “And what did she say?” “She said if you asked her then she’d say yes!” “Oh is that what she said!” “You better ask her soon. She’s too pretty for you and she might leave, I like her, she’s fun to play with” “Ok sweetheart, I’ll ask her” “YOU LIAR! YOU WONT!!” and they all tackle him to the floor. I love watching him play with children. He’s just like a huge child himself.
As the night goes on me and Bruno continue drinking, but none of us get so drunk that we both aren’t in control of our actions. We all sit outside as the whole family start to sing and play instruments, wow they really are all talented. “Bruno, play us something that you’ve written for Lexii” Uncle Johnny asks. Oh God please don’t “Sure!” Bruno says as he gets up to go get his guitar. I bet he’s going to sing JTWYA, that song really is beautiful. When Bruno comes back with his guitar he doesn’t sit next to me where he originally was, instead he sits opposite me. He strums his guitar and says “I wrote this for Lex before we started going out. Ahemmm…… I know girl , when you look at me you don’t know how I feel, cause I’m usually so nonchalant my feelings I conceal, but I want you to know oh, I want you to know. I must admit I’ve felt this way for more than quite a while, but I can’t hold it no longer when I see that pretty smile, can’t wait no more oh, I can’t wait no more oooh, girl, to tell you the truth, it’s always been you, I’m all about you….” He sings the whole song the entire time whilst looking in to my eyes. Once he’s finished everyone claps and praises him. This song is amazing, it actually amazes me as to how he can write such perfect songs all the time. He truly is one of a kind.
Finally after a good 4 hours of everyone just sitting around playing music and just general talk, everyone decides to leave and me and Bruno can finally go up to bed. I’m so shattered it’s unreal. We both get in to bed and instantly Bruno falls asleep. I think about the entire day today. Urgh, I just don’t know anymore. I just feel like I don’t belong here, everything feels awkward now. I can’t handle this shit anymore. I get my phone out and call my Mom, I know she’ll be awake. I lower my voice as not to wake Bruno up. “Hey Mom, how’re you?” “I’m fine Lexii, how’s Hawaii? And how’s Bruno?” “He’s fine, he’s sleeping. And Hawaii. Well, Hawaii is nice” “Sweetheart, tell me what’s wrong” My eyes start to water, what the fuck is wrong with me!? Seriously. “Mom, I can’t handle it anymore, I just can’t” “Shhhh, sweetheart don’t cry. Tell me exactly what’s wrong” “Mom, everyone here is just so family orientated. I’m not like that, I didn’t grow up like this, and I don’t fit in here with them all. It’s not fair, everyone here is just so indescribably nice and close and as much as I try, I just can’t give them all the love back that they give me” “Lex, you’re a good person” I can’t talk to her anymore, I need air. “Mom, I gotta go, Bruno’s starting to wake up…..I’ll speak with you later” I lied about Bruno. Tears start to well up in my eyes and I decide to go for a walk along the beach. Alone. I look over at Bruno and see he’s still fast asleep, I get up and quietly put a pair of shorts and a sweatshirt on and walk out the door. The cool air by the sea on the beach makes me come to my senses a bit. I still feel like I could sit here and cry. I try to hold it back until “Lex!!” THE FUCK!? When did he follow me out here!? I ignore him and continue to walk on; I can’t deal with him anymore. I can’t deal with THIS. “LEXII!! WILL YOU JUST STOP AND SPEAK TO ME!?” He yells. “What do you wanna know huh!? I can’t take it anymore Bruno, I just can’t, I don’t even know why I feel like this but I do ok!?” “Lexii, feel like WHAT!? You don’t tell me anything so I can help you or at least go through it with you! Baby you need to speak to me. Don’t keep it all in” I didn’t even realise but Bruno’s standing right next to me now. He puts his hand on my lower back and I start to cry. What the hell is wrong with me!? “Bruno I can’t handle all this family stuff ok!? I wasn’t brought up like this! And that’s nothing against any of you, but I just don’t know if I can be surrounded by all of that. I’m not used to it. It scares me. It’s always just been me. Just me. All my life, just me. And yes, I yearned for a family or someone to love me back the way I do, but I was never lucky enough to get that” “But you have me! You have all of us now, do you realise how much they all love you!?” “But I’m not used to it!! I feel bad because I can’t give them back all the love they give me, I know it’s weird and fucked up, but so am I” “WILL YOU STOP PUTTING YOURSELF DOWN LIKE THIS!? You’re such an amazing generous person who needs to stop thinking about others and focus on yourself! You make everyone around you happy, but you can’t see that because you put up this wall. Baby I know you’ve been hurt so many times before, but I won’t do that to you. I love you and if you can’t understand that now then I can’t say anything more” “BUT BRUNO YOU DID! YOU DID HURT ME!!” I don’t even know where this is coming from! I thought I was over the London situation but I’m clearly not. “Lexii, I don’t know what I can say to make things better, I really wish I knew what to say! But you KNOW I won’t do that again! Please tell me you trust me enough to know that I’d never do that again!” FUCK! I feel like I’m losing him again! But I need to say these things, I can’t just sugar coat over everything because of love. “Bruno. I did trust you. I trusted you and I didn’t want to let my guard down. And look at what happened when I did!” am I even making sense now!?. I can see the hurt and pain in his eyes, but what can I say to make things better!? I’m not in the wrong here. “Baby, I can’t lose you again, please don’t do this. PLEASE!” “Oh Bruno! I don’t know what to do anymore!! I just, I ju-I have absolutely NOTHING to say to you!! Do you understand how I feel? Do you understand how a month after it happened how it still hurts me. To this fucking day! And then your sisters were telling me about how much you were hurting and how you were hurting more than me, well you WERENT!! YOU CAN’T HAVE BEEN!! It just drives me insane!” I look away from him and start to walk off.
“Marry me Lex!” he says. Oh God, not this again. I turn around “Bru-“ I stop. I see him down on one knee and a box in his hand. Shit. I slowly start to move closer to him. My breathing increases. “Lexii, I love you, you KNOW I do. And I know you love me back just as much. I’m so so SO fucking sorry about what happened. I know I’ll probably never be able to make it up to you, but please let me try. I’m probably being so selfish right now by asking you to make me the happiest man in the entire universe, but I can’t stand to go another day without knowing that we might not be together forever. I wanna grow old with you, I wanna start a family with you. I wanna marry you.” At this my eyes start tearing up from happiness, is this really happening to me!?” Still down on one knee, he opens the box and I see THE most beautiful engagement ring ever with a single diamond. It’s perfect. He looks straight in to my eyes and says the words “Alexis, will you marry me?” Without hesitation I say the words “Yes Bruno. I will”
The End xoxox