Chapter 11

07/08/2011 23:41

11. Our love is toxic.

He smiled and let go.  A shot of pain went right through me AGAIN, it was the same feeling I got when I had the accident, and when I was talking to Bruno when he was here. I gasped and hold on to Bruno. I closed my eyes and felt the horror through me. ‘ALISSA!?’ I heard Bruno yell. I couldn’t respond. But it was so sexy how he was freaking out.  How can I be thinking all of this when I still feel the pain shooting right through my veins with every heartbeat I had. I was panting. I screamed. Bruno was still trying to make me stop, But I wasn’t going to stop until the pain stopped. Joelle ran to the hall where we were. She looked at Bruno worried ‘WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING’ she was panicking. Bruno held me close to his body ‘Shhh…it’s okay, you’re save here.’ He tried to calm me. The pain was gone and that also meant that I could talk again. ‘W..what is wrong with me’ Bruno let go and when he did Joelle jumped on me…not literally but she attacked me while hugging me. ‘She had this before..’ he said to Joelle. ‘Baby, you have to go see a doctor.’ He said kissing my forehead. Joelle looked at him ‘Baby?’ she said on a tone. He lifted me and carried me too my room. She followed him. ‘I…I’m fine I don’t need to s…’ he interrupted me ‘No, you are seeing a doctor.’ I sighed ‘Well! Bossy.’ He smiled and took of my shoes. Joelle looked at us being al…you know..together. ‘…It’s almost disgusting too watch that’s how cute you two are together.’ She said swooning. Bruno chuckled. ‘Are you staying?’ I asked him whispering. I wasn’t feeling okay AT ALL, but I’m not telling them that. They would drag me to the Hospital.

Joelle placed her hand on my forehead ‘Are you sure you okay’ she said. I nodded and smiled at her. ‘You are seeing a doctor though’ Bruno said looking at me. I looked at him mad, fake mad. ‘That face isn’t changing anything.’ He said to me. He walked to my balcony and opened the door. I could see him standing there, leaning on the fence.  Smoking…wait..what? Smoking!? Well…that points out something again. I really do not know him. In any way. I know music is his life, and that he’s crazy and funny, and that he’s protective. And that he smokes…but…what did he want to tell me. I felt sick. Inside and outside. I wanted to know what was wrong with me. But at the same time I didn’t. What if it’s something bad. Or what if it’s nothing. It can’t be nothing. I sighed and got irritated of all these thoughts. The balcony was facing my bed, so I could see Bruno’s back. His curls look beautiful in the moonlight….Moonlight!? WHAT THE FUCK. What time is it? I looked at the time on my phone. 11.56 PM. Great. I turned around so I couldn’t look at Bruno anymore. He came back in and I pretended to be asleep. I heard him sigh and he crawled up my bed. ‘Sweetie, I have to work tomorrow I’m going home..’ How did he know I was pretending? I turned around and opened my eyes. DAMN HE WAS CLOSE. I smiled at him ‘Are you sure you’re going to be okay alone?’ He said kissing my forehead. I nodded and he kissed my lips. ‘I’ll be here tomorrow. Please, never scare me like that again’ He said. ‘I can’t help it’ I said playing with his hair. ‘Tomorrow were going to the doctor’s office after I’m done with work.’ I sighed and nodded. He smiled and pecked my lips than he tried to walk out. I grabbed his arm and pulled him on the bed. And it worked. I was pretty strong. He laid down with me and kissed me again. He smiled on my lips. ‘I really have to go’ he said. ‘You know…your work is much closer to my apartment.’ I said stroking his hair. ‘No it’s not.’ He smiled. ‘Oh work with me here!’ I said pouting. He sighed. ‘I don’t have any of my stuff here. Really Alissa, I have to go’ I hated those words. “I have to go” I sighed. ‘Fine’ I said. He smiled ‘I love you’ he said. He kissed me ‘I love you too’ He smiled and left. Why am I falling for this guy if I barely know him…


Bruno’s Mind. 9.00 AM @ His house.


My alarm went off. My eyes flew open and I stopped the noise as quick as possible. My heart was filled with so much love that it almost hurt. I got out of bed and opened the curtains. The sun was shining as bright as my mood. I felt good. I smiled. I felt really good. I wanted to text Alissa but I don’t want to wake her. I had some breakfast, jumped in the shower and brushed my teeth. I got dressed grabbed my keys and got in the car. I started  singing the worst song ever but it just really described the way I felt. I want to love you, feel you, wrap myself around you I want to squeeze you, please you, I just can't get enough. And if you move real slow I'll let it go! I'm so excited, and I just can't hide it 
I'm about to lose control and I think I like it. I'm so excited, and I just can't hide it And I know, I know, I know, I know, I know I want you, want you.  

And god, I do want her. She is so sexy. And I don’t think she even knows what she does to me. Her lips, her thighs, her legs, her eyes. Damn. I can’t believe I just sang a song of the pointer sisters. Or how I like to call them the Disappointing sisters. I got there and got out of my car. I saw Phil getting out of his car. ‘Hey Bro!’ I said super happy. He turned around. ‘Hey man! Ari isn’t coming today, but Ray is’ He said not noticing my happiness.  ‘It’s all fine with me’ I said while unlocking the studio. ‘You seem…extra happy to go to work today’ Phil said smiling. ‘Ah, shut up man. I’m happy cause I have my woman back’ I said while throwing my jacket on the couch and sitting in my main chair. ‘…You got back with Chanel?’ he asked disgusted. I gave him the look. ‘Hell no.’ I said. ‘Then who is…ALLISA!?’ he yelled. ‘YES!’  of course he knew everything. He’s my bro. I tell him everything.  Were like partners in crime. He’s Bonnie I’m Clyde. Cause…you know..skirts don’t suit me, Phil just has the right curves. I laughed at my thoughts. ‘I thought she was pretty clear when she said she never wanted to see you again’ He said with a questioned face. ‘Well…I just..told her how I felt. And I was lucky that she felt the same or else I stood there like a lost mother fucker.’ Phil smiled ‘I’m happy for you man’ I sighed. ‘In a long time…I am too’ Ray came in. ‘Okay whores! What are we doing today?’ he said walking in like he was Godzilla. I snapped out of my glory. And Phil laughed at me making a face to Ray. ‘Today we are trying to figure out a song for…Brandy..’ My pupils popped out of my eyes ‘BRANDY!?’ FUCK YES , I love that woman. Her voice kills. Ray looked at Phil ‘…Don’t lie to me bro’ he said. Phil laughed ‘I’M SERIOUS!’ Ray looked at Phil. ‘Spit on it.’ I gave Ray the look. ‘Hell no, I don’t see you cleaning this damn floor.’ Phil said. I burst out laughing. Does she have any wishes to the song?  I asked. ‘she said it had to be an intense love a long distance relationship or something.’ He said. I sighed. ‘Well…lets tear up the studiooooo’ I said. ‘Please don’t…we don’t have money.’ Ray said. ‘Well..after we finish this song..people will be begging us for just 4 chords.’ Phil laughed while saying that. ‘Hey, don’t underestimate those 4 chords. Doo-wop music is what gave music a new definition.’ Phil and Ray laughed at me saying that. We got to work. And instead of messing around we actually got to work. After trying at least a hundred beats we finally found a good one. It was slow. But it speeded up a little bit at the last verse. My phone rang. I didn’t look at the caller ID and picked up. ‘Hey Baby’ I heard her say. I smiled and walked out of the room without saying anything. ‘Hey love, how are you doing today?’ I asked her smirking. ‘Better.’ She said. I knew she was lying. Just like when she said she was okay yesterday night. ‘Mmm really?’ I asked teasing her. ‘Jup, I’m doing great!’ she said. ‘Oh save the crap Alissa. I’m still getting you checked up today.’ I said while sitting on the little stairs outside the studio. ‘Fine’ she said irritated. I don’t get why she doesn’t want to know what is wrong with her. Why she doesn’t want the pain to stop.  ‘Are you coming here?’ I asked her. ‘I will…Bruno…You have to know that I hate doctor’s…’ I leaned back. ‘Why?’ She sighed. ‘It’s awkward.’ I chuckled. ‘Well, if it makes you feel any better I’m there’ I said smiling ‘No, no that makes it worse. If I have to take my clothes off…that’s not how I want it to happen.’ I sighed, ‘Baby…I’ll leave.’ I said. I looked at Ray’s motor bike and chuckled lightly. If you would kick that thing it would fall apart. ‘Okay…I’ll be on my way now.’ She said and she just hung up. I sighed and walked in again. ‘I have to go in 5 to 10 minutes.’ I said. Ray looked at me ‘What now.’ I sighed. ‘I have to take my stubborn girlfriend to a doctor’  Phil smiled. ‘I thought you broke up with Chanel?’ Ray said.  ‘I did..but this is another one…It’s a different situation..way different’ I saw the question marks pop up upon his head. ‘Phil will explain’ I sat down and checked my email and did some other stuff until Alissa got here. The door opened and I heard it close again. I saw her. She looked fierce. So hot. So beautiful. I stood up and looked at her. ‘…wow’ I heard Ray say. ‘Hello’ I heard her say to the guys with her happy smile on. ‘Let’s go!’ I said I got my jacket and walked up to her. I hugged her sideways and kissed her. She smiled at me.  ‘WOW!’Ray said again. ‘find your own.’ I said and laughed, Phil smiled. ‘I’ll see you’ He said. Ray gave Alissa a friendly smile and of course she smiled back. I took her hand. And we got in the car. She was quiet the whole ride. I just knew that she was holding herself together because the pain was back. Sometimes she made a face because off the pain. I just knew it was the pain. I knew that face. I took her hand. ‘Are you okay?’ I asked kissing her hand. She looked at me and nodded. I could see the pain in her eyes I just couldn’t take it any longer. I can’t see my girl hurt. ‘Please talk to me.’  I said. She leaned her head on the window. ‘I was never “okay” Bruno.’ She said and she sighed. ‘I knew that..’ She looked at me with a questioned face. ‘…Did you know how hard it was for me to leave you alone like that, I just naturally knew you were lying to me somehow… you didn’t want to worry me and you didn’t want me to take you to the doctor.’ I sighed and placed my hand on her cheek, I rubbed my finger across her jaw line and kissed her on her forehead. I was still driving. So it was kind of risky. She sighed. ‘I’m sorry I lied to you.’ I looked at her. ‘Don’t be…I get why you did.’ She played with my fingers and we got there. She got out of the car.  I walked to the door and held it open for her. She walked in and sighed. I grabbed her by her waist and kissed her in slow motion. Intensely and soft but rough at the same time. ‘You’re going to be fine.’ I said and let go of her. We walked to the waiting room and sat down next to all these serious ill people. There was a girl and she kept staring at me. When I looked at her to make sure she was looking at me she looked away quickly and she started giggling. Alissa laughed cause she knew what was going on. She decided to just rub it in the girl’s face that she was never going to get my attention. Alissa whispered in my ear and she held on to my side. ‘I love you’ she said and kissed me on my cheek. I chuckled. My chuckle is like a giggle. But seriously. I don’t giggle. It was quiet. There was an old…very old couple in the room and they smiled at Alissa and Me. Alissa smiled back with her beautiful white smile. I smiled back too and I looked back at Alissa. She started playing with my fingers. ‘What is it with you and my fingers.’ I said out loud. She giggled. ‘I don’t know..’ she said smiling. ‘Alicia Laura James?’  She sighed and stoop up. I did as well and I whispered in her ear ‘Laura?’  she sighed. ‘My dad picked it out.’ I chuckled. We walked into the doctor’s office. And he grinned at Alissa. He looked like a dirty old man with grey hair only doing his job to look at boobie’s.  I wouldn’t let HIM touch my baby. We shook hands and sat down. ‘So what’s the problem’ he said while clicking with his pen. She sighed. ‘Sometimes out of nowhere I get very strong pains shooting right through my body, It hurts…so much and I just can’t take it anymore.’ He sighed ‘out of nowhere? Are you sure?’ I wanted to hit the guy ‘No..she came all the way out here to lie to your face’ I said glaring at him. She looked at me ‘Bruno..’ she said and I tried to talk to him in a normal tone again. ‘I was there what she had those pains..It’s just unhealthy. She hold herself back from screaming but I know how much it hurts her when I look at her.’ The doctor sighed. ‘We’ll do some tests on you’ Alissa began to stutter. ‘T-t-tests?’  she asked. I looked at her. ‘It’s okay.’ I told her. She sighed ‘What kind of tests.’ She asked ‘Well…we have to do an MRI scan…and we have to take some blood. Can I listen to your heartbeat for a second?’ She swallowed harsh and nodded. “Fucking pervert” is what I thought but she refused to take of her shirt. So he did it just above her clothes. ‘You’re fine, but you’ll hear when you have to do the MRI scan.’ She nodded. We got out of our chairs and walked to the door. He was standing there to shake hands. Alissa did but I didn’t.  I walked out and our eyes locked and I knew she was thinking the same. ‘Perv’ we said at the same time and we laughed. I kissed her but what we didn’t notice is that we did it in the waiting room that was all of the sudden filled with people. She looked around and things started getting awkward. I took her hand and we walked outside. ‘What..if..there is something wrong with me…’ I stopped her, let go of her hand and grabbed her by her shoulders. ‘Don’t say that…you’re going to be fine’ I said, I kissed her forehead and let go.


Days have gone by and Alissa got a call from the hospital where she was in before. She did the MRI scan. Terrified as well because she can’t take small spaces. That phobia is from her childhood because she always god locked away in the storage for sometimes a day. Alone. With no food, or water. She got through cause Joelle was allowed to stay with her at the MRI scan.  The days have gone by slowly but like they always did.  Alissa had a few ‘pain attacks’ but she never told Joelle or Bruno. When the week was over she could get her scan results at the hospital.


No one’s mind ( POV ) - @ The Hospital 1.45 PM.


Complete silence. How closer it got to 1.50 PM the more Alissa got killed from the inside. Bruno was watching her being impatient and frustrated…but also scared. She was giving small pinches to Bruno’s hand as she was holding it. Bruno looked at her. ‘…Don’t worry.’ She cut him of ‘Bruno, don’t say it’s going to be fine, I know it’s not.’  He sighed and looked around. The waiting room was filled with people. And everyone was looking at the one white door, waiting for a doctor to come out to call their name. Alissa leaned her head on Bruno’s shoulder and kissed his cheek. He smiled at her. She sighed and continued waiting. Joelle was super worried. She wanted to go with Alissa so badly but she had to work. Yes, she got a job in management at a concert hall. 1.50 PM on the dot. ‘Alicia Laura James?’  Alissa ‘s heart stopped. ‘Babe…you kind of have got to get up now.’ Bruno said to Alissa. She swallowed and they both walked to the white door.  It was a friendly woman with a loving look in her eyes. Bruno and Alissa smiled back, shook hands and sat down. ‘So Alicia..’  the doctor said. ‘Alissa’ Bruno chuckled. ‘stubborn’ he said to her. ‘What..I don’t like people calling me that.’ The doctor laughed. ‘Alissa, I’m Doctor Jarré, and that man is your….’ ‘Boyfriend’ Bruno said smiling at her. ‘We have the test results…’ she clicked on some things on her computer and started asking questions. ‘Have you even been abused as a child?’ Alissa sighed and ‘Yes’ she answered. Bruno froze. He didn’t know. Bruno looked at Alissa with a questioned and worried face. ‘I’ll explain’ she mouthed to Bruno. ‘Everything..’  he mouthed back. She nodded. The doctor was still looking up things on her computer. ‘I’m sorry to hear that..I asked because as a child…you had all kinds of physical issues. Alissa nodded. ‘I got beat up a lot…that’s why’ Alissa was hurting with every word she said about her past. Cause every single word reminded her of what used to be. Bruno looked down stroking his hands through his hair. She got some files out of a cupboard and she opened them. ‘Alissa..when you had the car accident you swallowed toxic fuel that was dripping from the engine, it is very dangerous and because it spread all over your system. We have to do more tests and maybe put you in surgery. I know that it’s going to be a tough time but if we don’t get it out of your system the consequencewill be life threatening. And it may even lead to infertility. The pains are there because your body is trying to get rid of the toxic fuels. And with the weeks you have waited…it may be too late to get you on full recovery