Chapter 11

01/01/2012 19:42

He stares into my eyes but I can't stand it long and look away.

"Erm... a friend!" "A friend?" "Why do you take my pho.." I can't even finish when he yells. "A FRIEND? ARE YOU FUCKIN KIDDIN ME??? DOES A FRIEND WRITES TEXTS LIKE THIS?" He holds my phone into my face. I take it and read. 'Hey u still livin? would like to come over and fuck the shit outta...' Shit. That's really obvious and undeniable. "I'll explain that to you, but not in front of Josy and Sam, ok?!" He tries to calm down cause he won't get too upset when Sam's around. "Ok. Let's go." With that's been said he grabs the keys and his jacket and heads out the door. I say goodbye to Sam and Josy and follow him.

"Where are we going?" I ask cautiosly after he drove for a while without saying anything. No answer. "Bruno, please, it's nothing you should worry about, ok?! He's noone. I was lonely and needed someone when we were separated. But it's definitely over now! I just didn't tell him yet, cause he's not important and last time we met was like 6 weeks ago. And as you know the last days I had other things on my mind than calling my..." I stop. Does he even listen to me? He stares at the road without any facial expression.

"Bruno? You listen to me?"

"Fuck buddy."

"What?"

"...you had other things to do than calling your fuck buddy. He was yours, wasn't he?" 

"Duh..." I sigh and sit back looking outside of my window. At least I know now he listened to me and didn't ignore me. Wait. Why should I feel bad now?! I turn back to him again. "I can't believe you offend me now. As if you didn't fuck the last months and I bet it was a bunch of whores not only one! One even got pregnant! You remember?!"

"We not talking about what I did now. I FUCKIN WANNA KNOW WHO HE IS ... NOW!"

"DON'T FUCKIN YELL AT ME! I'LL TELL YOU! DAMN JUST CALM DOWN! Please." I whisper the last word not believing we were arguing today when we officially move back together and should only be happy and celebrating that. I feel I start to tear up but hold it back. Bruno breaths heavily. He stops the car at the roadside and run his hands through his hair and over his face still angry. His hands even shake a little bit. Why did he get so upset?!

I take a deep breath and start. "I'm honest ok?! I needed sex. Plus I felt alone and not loved. So I called him, we met and yeah we had sex. That's it. But of course that's over now, now that we are back together! I can call immediately and tell him, ok?!" I take his hand but he shrugs it off. "Damn Bruno. I don't see your problem. I mean I know you don't like thinking about me fucking another guy. But honestly you have no right to care about who I was with when we were separated. And there's no reason to fucking act like that right now!"

Silence.

I lean back into my seat. Ok now this is really getting annoying. What is he thinking to come on me like that?! Did he really think I was abstinent the whole time? It was like a lot of months...

"Did Sam ever saw him?" He asks. I turn my head to him.

"Hell... NO!" Now I get it he's worried that someone might had taken his place.

"And did you talk?" He stares at his hands but then turns his head towards me and looks directly into my eyes. I just give him a questioning look back. "Did you ever talk with him? Like about important things? Or did you go out or something?"

Oh wow. He's really jelaous! "Hm I'm honest...Yeah we did talk. I mean you know me. I can't sleep with somebody just like that. Matter of fact he's somehow my ex. I know him for a long time and that's why I trust him... that's why I met with him. I couldn't trust anyone new. And yeah we talked about certain things. I told him what happened between us and all my feelings, my thoughts, my fears... and he comforted me, he gave me back my self esteem, what you kinda destroyed!"

He looked down again, hurted. Fuck. Saying that hurts me too. He presses his lips and his look turns into a sad guilty one. I take his hand, this time he lets me. "...but you know all the time there was not a single day I wasn't missing you and thinking what would be when you were with me... I hated you yes but I loved you too and with every day it got more... crazy but true. I can't explain why myself..." Again he looks at me intensely this time with a regretful kinda eased look. He puts his hand on my cheek and slowly pulls me towards him, right before our lips touch he stops. I can feel his breath against my mouth. He closes his eyes, leans his forhead against mine and takes a deep breath.

"Forgive me." He says.

I feel a single tear rolling down my cheek. I nod slightly "I do." Then he kisses me so carefully that our lips barely move. He pulls back and strokes my cheek seeing my teary eyes. "I'm so sorry. I sweared to myself never make you cry again. And see what I do again! I really so suck, why the hell you still stuck with me?"

"Oh Bruno. Let's just forget that ok?! If I saw a text like that send to you, I'd get angry too. But it's really nothing to worry about. Let's try to turn the rest of this evening to a good one ok?! So where did you plan to take me?"

"Hm. Let me surprise you alright?! I know and I do trust you. That shouldn't be an issue anymore." With that he drives off. 

Soon I know where we're going. Santa Monica Beach. The place we first kissed. And he asks himself why I love him... such a fool.

Our moods get better when I turn on the radio and "Sittin on the dock of the bay" comes on and we sing both loud along. Memories come to my mind of the first day we went here together and had our first kiss... the most romantic and mesmerizing first kiss I ever had. I smile and look at him.

"Sabrina why you're staring at me?" He asks, his eyes still on the road.

"Nothing." I put my hand on the back of his neck and ruffle softly his hair. "Just had a flashback of our first time we went here. You remember?"

"Of course!"

"Tell me!"

He laughs and his shoulders move slightly up and down. Oh how I love when he's doing this. I instantly have to smirk too.

"Hm... ok." He starts. "We parked around here cause it was a Saturday and the parking lot at the pier was already full." I nod not taking my eyes of him. "At least that was what I told you. In fact I had no idea about that I only wanted to park so far away from the pier so that we can walk through the dark along the beach." He smirked and winked at me.

I pinched him softly. "You..."

"What? As if you weren't fine with that..."

"Yeah yeah... continue."

"We were walking hand in hand along the beach towards the pier. There were so many stars this night. The lights of the pier shined brightly. We walked barefoot right at the ocean. Then you stopped and put your arms around my neck, your head resting on my chest and you looked at the pier lights."

"It's beautiful. Just this moment is so beautiful." I say

"Yeah that was what you were saying."

I smile and continue our memory. "It was so romantic and then out of nowhere you pulled back and splashed water at me you fool. I did so too and we laughed so much. Then suddenly you took my hand and said 'Come here'. You pulled me towards you and wrapped your arms around my waist. The waves flowed around our feet and slowly sinked into the sand. It felt amazing." I sigh, lean back into my seat my hand still stroking his neck and I smile. Bruno looks at me, he just parked the car and turned off the engine. He looks at me and also smiles. I close my eyes and continue. "... and then you kissed me. My eyes were closed and I felt everything. Your touch, your lips, your hands, the water, the sand, the warm wind... it was just... perfect." I open my eyes and look at him smiling like a fool. "That was the most perfect first kiss I ever got..."

He grinned back at me and chuckled a bit. "Yeah... it was alright."

"Oh you fool. You gotta destroy like EVERY romantic moment?!" I say back with a side glance.

He takes my face and leans towards me. "No." He says and kisses me passionately.

When we let go of each other we are out of breath.

"Well..." I say. "I guess I'm ok with that..." We laughed and got out of the car. "Let's revive some memories." I say.

He takes a big blanket out of the trunk, puts it under his arm and wrap his other arm around me. "I'd rather make some new ones." He says.

I look at him. He just smiles and we go towards the beach. I lean my head on his shoulder. Now what did he plan now again this fool. I smirked.