Chapter 13

16/12/2011 20:35

When I wake up, I have completely different thoughts, I look over at Bruno and see him sleeping, I do love him. I really do, everyone knows that, but I don’t think I can actually go through with a wedding. I think the fact that my Moms wedding didn’t work out so well that I’m just worried about me and Bruno. Our relationship right now is going perfect, it’s so amazing, why would we need to change that and get married? What if everything changes when we get married? What if I’m not an amazing wife for him? I know I can be the best girlfriend, but wife? I just don’t know if I can do that. Urgh, I can’t deal with this right now, I close my eyes and go back to sleep. When I wake up I look and see that Bruno is up and in the shower already. Fuck, he’s gonna leave me again for the studio today; I hate not having any work at the moment. He comes out of the shower, in a towel, all wet and fuckable and it doesn’t matter how many times I’ve seen him naked, I still can’t help but stare. “You like what you see baby?” He jokes; I nod and lick my lips. He ignores me and goes to get dressed. “Brunoooo, come hereeee, pleeeeaaasseee” He smiles at me and comes over “Yes?” I inhale his scent and whisper “Fuck me” and kiss him, he kisses back and says “No” Oh my God. “Bruno! Stop it ok!? Just have sex with me, stop saying no! Jeeezz it’s so fucking irritating!” He just laughs and says “Irritating like how you were irritating me last night?” “Urgh, just shut up and fuck me” I pull at his towel but he holds it tight and says a firm “No” and comes in for another kiss. “Baby we need to get ready for the studio, get up, jump in the shower and let’s go” “Why am I coming to the studio with you? I don’t wanna come, it’s your album baby, you’re talented enough to produce it with the other guys” “Stop it, we’re not having this conversation again, you’re going to co produce it with us. That’s an order” He says the last part and looks at me with a smirk. “Is that an order MR Hernandez?” I whisper. “Mmmmhmmmm” he replies. “Now get up!” and he jumps off me and tries to pulls the covers to the floor. I grip hold on to it for dear life. Realizing that we had sex last night and I’m not wearing anything. “Really Lex!? We’ve been dating for nearly two years! And you’re still shy like this!?” “It’s not me being shy!” “Oh really? Then what is it?” I can’t think of anything to say. Fuck. “Urgh, just go away Bruno….” “Fineeeee…” and he pulls his towel off and goes in to our walk in closet to get changed. God Damn he is one fine piece of man….

We get changed and leave for the studio. Whilst Bruno’s driving I try to put him off taking me with him. “Baby, I’m really precise about everything, you know I’ll criticise a lot. I don’t wanna do that to you”  “Lex, you don’t criticise like that, you give constructive criticism, and anyway, you’re only gonna be saying it to make the record better” “Yeah, but I’ll probably take over and want to change a lot of the stuff up” “Then if that’s what you gotta do then you gotta do it” Urgh, he won’t take no for an answer. “Well, uhh, what about if we disagree on something!? And like, I’m really certain that if we do it this way it’ll be better, but what if, you wanna do it another way!? What’ll we do!!?” “Lex, calm down” He’s right, I am acting kinda stupid. “We’ll come to a decision together, ok? And besides, you haven’t head the new tracks I wrote” “You wrote new songs!? And you didn’t tell me?” “Well, I kinda only just finished it the other day, anyway, I’ll play them for you” What else can I say? I just smile and wait for us to get to the studio. We pull up and I get all these memories rushing back to me, I used to work with the Stereotypes here in this studio, we walk by the exact room that we used to be in, the exact room that I first met Bruno in, and the exact room that me and Bruno shared our first time together in. But like I said, we only walk past it and go in to a room further down. Studios are like warehouses, huge buildings that have many separate rooms for different artists to use at the same time. Even though I quit the from the stereotypes production team, I still have my card that opens every single door, as we walk through the halls, it’s like I never left. We walk in to one studio and I see Ari and Phil messing around throwing a ball to each other. As if I expected to see them actually doing work. I walk past them and sit at the control desk. Wow, I haven’t been in front of these in a while. I miss being in a studio, everything feels right again, here is where I feel free and myself, I don’t know what I’d do without music. Bruno comes and sits next to me and just smiles. I look at him and say “What?” “Nothing just seeing you smile like this makes me happy” and he kisses me. “Woooooaaaahhhhhh!” I hear in the background as Bruno jolts as something hits the back of his head. Ouch. “The fuck!? Did ya’ll throw that ball at me!?” He asks. The other two just start laughing until Ari says “Well we didn’t know how far you both would go, you know, a studio is where you both like tooooo….” Oh my God. “AT LEAST I GET SOME!” he yells and with that they both shut up. That always seems to shut them up. Phil opens his mouth to speak but instantly closes it. “Baby you wanna play me the new stuff you’ve done?” “Uhhh ok, now remember Lex, just say whatever you think, don’t hold back. Uhhh and remember, it’s just a demo; we haven’t started mixing the final stuff yet. Here’s the track we did with CeeLo” “What’s it called?” “The Other Side” and he plays it. Oh my God, this song is truly amazing, well; it has the potential to be amazing. “Bruno, I just wanna change some lyrics up, like here, it says *their goes your invitation, check your coat at the door, conceder this a vacation where death is no more*yeah, uhm, I don’t like that” “Ok, yo Phil, what should we change it too? Lex doesn’t like these lyrics” “Well, I was thinking *we could live forever, who could ask for more, you could die if you wanted, but baby what for* only because it kinda goes with the whole theme of the song…..” “I love it!” Ari yells, sometimes I forget he’s in the room, he’s so quiet. “Baby get in the booth and sing it so we got a new demo, I also wanna change some if the chords up….” about an hour later we completely change the song up and now I feel it’s perfect.

By the end of the day we have about 16 demos that we’ve changed around, but something is still bugging me about all these songs. I look over at Bruno and see him deep in thought; he’s thinking the same as me. “We haven’t found it yet have we” I ask him, he knows what I mean. “No, we haven’t, I thought we would have found it by now, you know what the issues is? We haven’t written any new songs today, we’ve only fixed the demos we’ve come up with. We need a new idea” “What the fuck are you two on about!?” Phil says confused. “We haven’t found THE song. You know?” Bruno says. “Uhhh no, I got no idea what you mean, I thought all the songs we got today were good!” “Yeah, that’s the thing; they’re all just good, I don’t want good. I want a song that’s amazing, a song that’s like my signature song, yeah Just The Way You Are is an amazing song, but that’s not what I want, I still feel like I’m missing something, am I even making sense?” “No” Phil responds. “You make sense to me; you got any idea of what you wanna do? Or what it should be about or anything?” He pauses and looks up at me. “Yeah I got something……”