Chapter 16

16/02/2012 14:04

Like in the last chapters there's some german in this one. I try to avoid as much as possible for you guys, but some conversations I want to just make them originally... ENJOY!


I'm just 3 days in Germany and I already miss California so much. All the people, the lifestyle, the weather, the ocean, the beaches, Bruno... I know why I decided to move away from here almost 10 years ago. But although my home is in LA now, to be back here in this house feels as if I was never gone. Today the sun is even shining and I sit with my mom on the patio looking at the garden where Isabella was used to play with my sister's dog Rambo.

"Ich kann mich noch genau dran erinnern, wie Isabella hier mit Rambo gespielt hat. Sie war grad mal so groß wie er, aber hat ihn rumgescheucht und kommandiert..." I say lightly laughing. 

My mother smiles too and nods. "Ja das waren schöne Zeiten. Und jetz..." Her smile turns into a sad face and she leans back.

"Ich weiß, Mama... Alles wird gut!" I say trying to comfort her and stroke her back.

The last days I saw how life changed here, now that my father's gone. My mom sits at home all the time and watches old family videos or skims through photo albums. It's like she gave up her life, all her friends and hobbys. I tried to persuade her to go hiking or swimming, just something we always enjoyed to do together in the past but she declined. It's awful seeing her like that. She misses my dad so much...

Isabella comes either home from school and sits in her room all the time doing stuff in the net like she says or she stays with friends til late in the night. I would say too late for her age. But noone seems to mind it. My mother worries this too but she doesn't say anything and my sister Maria doesn't know about it because she was only at home when I arrived at Sunday, since then I haven't seen her. She's always going to her boyfriend after work. But today she said she's gonna come home after work and we gonna talk about everything. My mom told me that Maria wants to move out. It's certain. Isabella still doesn't want to move out with her. Not because she doesn't like Maria's boyfriend, but she doesn't want to leave my mother alone and she doesn't want to leave her home. My mother doesn't want to disappoint her but she doubts that Maria will let her stay here... so it's all fucked up... 

"Bist du hungrig?" My mom rips me out of my thoughts. "Komm ich mach uns Heidelbeer-Pfannkuchen. Die magst du doch so gern."

I smile big at her and nod heavy. Around her I always feel like a little kid. She just laughs and walks in. After a while I follow her.


"Nein! Ihr könnt mich alle mal! Ich bleib hier!" Isabella shouts angry in tears and runs up to her room slamming the door loudly.

We all look at each other sympathetically. I understand Isabella, but she has to face the truth. She can't stay here alone with my mom. The house is too big for only 2 people, too much work to run it. So my mother decided to sell it and has already a buyer. At Friday she'll sign the sale contract. That's what she just told us. Maria goes upstairs to Isabella and I stay with my mom. Her head hangs down and a single tear is running down her face. It hurts me so much. I pour her and me a glass of whiskey and sit down putting the glass in front of her.

"Sie ist stark. Sie wird damit fertig." I say and we both down the shots.

Then suddenly my phone that I put on the table rings. It's Bruno. I let it ring. I can't talk now, I'm too emotional. It goes off. I had called Bruno every day since I'm here and he told me how the rehearsals are going and other stuff. I just told him a bit what's going on here I'd rather let him distract me. Unfortunately I forgot to explain him how skype works so we can't skype. That sucks I'd love to see his happy smiling face to cheer me up.

"Warum gehst du nich dran?" My mom asks me pouring us another shot.

I shake my head. "Ach das is jetz nich wichtig. Du bist wichtig!" I say back.

"Wars Bruno?" 

"Ja." I answer her question. I told her about him shortly but not much. I know if I tell her that he's a struggling musician who doesn't even has a home, she would just worry and I don't want her to worry about me too. She has enough sorrows...

It rings again.

"Geh dran!" My mom tells me and I answer the call while standing up and going outside. 

"Hey." I greet him.

"Hey baby! Wow it worked. I thought I dialed the wrong number or somethin'." Bruno says. I can tell from the way he's talking he drank a little bit and seems to be very happy. Totally opposite of my mood... "Babe? You still there?"

I just say "Yeah".

"Good! Babe you will never guess what just happened!" He yells excited in my ear.

I smile lightly imagining his big grin now. "Then tell me!"

"Okay. Sit down or hold on tight on somethin'! Cause this will blow your face off!" He yells even more at the last sentence. I hear Phil and the other guys in the background also yelling and loud music is playing.

"Bruno, just tell me!" I say back. Now I'm curious.

"Okay... Flo Rida just called us and said he wanna buy a song from us and also wants us to co-work on the other track he needs for his album!" Now he shouts so loud that I take the phone some inches away from my ear.

"Oh wow that's great!" I say back in the most happy voice I can talk right now. "Which song?"

"I know right?! Don't laugh, it's the remix of Dead and Alive. I know we kinda fooled around on this one, but hey he loves it! He just wanna change the lyrics a bit. And baby he gives us 60,000 for it. 60,000 dollars!!!! You know what that means?!!! From my part I can buy a car and rent a crib and maybe fly to Hawaii and... it's just so unreal. I wished you were here right now!"

"That's really great, Bruno! I'm so happy for you and the others." I say flatly.

"Really? You doesn't sound like that..."

"I am. Really!"

"But you don't scream and laugh, like I expected you to do..."

"Well I'm not in the mood for that right now... what you would know if you asked me how I'm doin'..." I don't want to spoil his happiness, it just came out of my mouth.

"Oh, sorry that I'm excited and called you before I even called my mom, cause I wanted to share with you this moment and I miss you by the way!"

Great! Now he's pissed. But I'm too. Does he even think one moment how I am? "And I'm sorry that I can't laugh and be happy while my mom's sitting in the other room crying 'cause in 2 days we'll sell our house. The house I growed up in. My whole childhood, 18 years I spend in this house. My parents build it and now other people will move in and change everything, maybe even tear it down and I'll never be able to come back again and remember all the good times I spend here..." I spit out all the emotions, all the thoughts I kept inside. Tears running down my face and I wipe them away automatically. I hate crying. It only shows weakness. And I don't want to be weak.

Silence on the other side.

"I'll call you later... bye." I say a little bit calmer and hang up. I think I heard a Sorry before pushing the button, but I don't mind. What does he expect? I mean I'm happy for him and the fact he called me before his mom is just... wow. But it was totally the wrong time to call me. I shouldn't have answered this call... damn! I clean my face from all the tears and calm down. I can call him tomorrow. I'm sorry for yelling at him but I need to focus on my family now.

After some minutes I go back inside to be there for my mom. That's what I'm supposed to do! As well for Maria and especially Isabella. When I enter the living room Maria sits there. She looks at me and shakes her head. "Sie will nich mehr mit mir reden... Kannst dus mal versuchen?"

I nod. I think I know how I can raise her mood. After getting Maria's ok for my plan, I go upstairs. Luckily Isabella unlocks the door when I say it's me and I step into her room...



Oh wow! I stare at my phone. She just hang up! I said sorry but I think she didn't hear it anymore. I feel stupid. This is the happiest moment I have in months maybe even years and she kinda spoiled it. But she's right though. I didn't even ask her, how she was and... she cried... shit! That's all going the wrong way...

"Hey Brunz! Get ya fuckin ass over here now and drink wit us!" I look up and see all the guys looking at me big smiling and with their glasses raised. Although I still feel bad about Caroline I walk over to them and take the glass Phil hands me. We all down the shot and a second and a third... time to celebrate! I don't want Caroline's shit let me get down. I can still call her tomorrow...


The next day goes by so fast. I slept so long and had to hurry to the studio. It's the last day before the show so we first meet at the studio to get all the instruments and equipment and then drive to the venue to run through the whole performance. We're all in such a hurry that I totally forgot about calling Caroline. After the rehearsal I remember but it's too late to call her because of the time difference, so I only text her. 

"Hey Caroline, my baby I'm so sorry about all what happened yesterday! I hope you're doing better now! We rehearsed the whole day at the venue today. Everything went fine... I'll call you tomorrow. I miss you and can't wait to see you again in 2 days! Sorry once again!"

I send the message and put the phone back into my pants pocket when it rings. I first thought it's Caroline and grab it fast but it's an unknown number. I answer it.


"Hello! Am I talking to Mister... erm... Bruno Mars?"

I smirk a bit. Noone ever called me like that in such a formal way, as if it was my real name. "Yeah you do! And you are?"

"Oh excuse me. My name is Kim Rogers. I'm the secretary of Mister Kallman, the president of Atlantic Records."

I gulp and freeze. Why is she calling me? Oh. My. God. I just manage to say. "Yes?!"