“I can tell some dumb guy broke your heart..” I said almost at a whisper. She quickly looked over to me, “How can you tell?” I shrugged, “I mean I just can..” She shook her head, “You don’t even know me..” I threw my hands up, “Hey hey! I’m sorry it’s not like that.” She took a deep breath, “Alright.. I’m not doing this again..” she said mumbling the last part. I frowned, “What do you mean again?” She shook her head, “Nothing.. it’s not important.. and it really doesn’t matter to you anyway..” “I’m just trying to be a good person that’s all.. I know it’s hard to think that guys nowadays are just sweet ya’ know..” She just shrugged still smoking her cigarette. It’s sad to think that about how much us guys actually hurt girls. I knew my words went in one ear and out the other. There was a silence and we both just listened to the waves crash against each other in the distance. She laughed a bit and I looked over to her and smiled, “What’s funny?” “I don’t know just thought about something funny.. it’s nothing.” I started walking over to her, “Come onn! Tell me.”
I came out of the bathroom and went over and sat back at the table with Bernie and Jamaro. They we’re playing some hand game that I knew of but, couldn’t remember how to play. “Bruno’s smoking isn’t he?” I said frowning a bit. “Yep..” “Don’t worry sweetie Bruno will come around.. he knows what’s best for him.” I nodded slowly, “I know.. he’s just been really busy and thats why I’m letting him rest..” “And that’s why I’m glad that you’re with him.. you know I never got the chance to tell you how thankful I am for you.” I started smiling ear to ear, “I just really love him..” “I know.. thank you for loving my son… he’s a lot to keep down sometimes and does things before he completely thinks about them. Not only that.. but it’s hard for him to make decisions.. You’ve changed a lot of that.. he’s a lot more understanding and helpful now.” I felt myself starting to tear up, I couldn’t believe she was saying this. “Yeah.. thanks for loving Uncle Bruno.” Jamaro said softly.
She backed up and smiled, “Seriously dude.. it’s nothing.” I backed up all the way until she was leaning up against the house. I kept getting closer to her and she laughed. “Don’t be secretive!” I said threw my laughter. I looked down to her a bit, she was a little shorter then me surpinsgly. I raised my hand above her and put it on the house. I looked down to her, our eyes locked and we just both observed each other’s faces. I took my cigarette from my mouth, “I like your eyes..” I said softly. She quickly looked away and I backed up. “I’m so sorry..” I said realizing what I was doing. “That’s why I don’t deal with guys.. they’re all the same..” she said moving from in front of me. I watched her as she flicked her cigarette off the patio, “Bye Bruno.. have a good day..” I rubbed the back of my head, “See ya later then I guess..” I said feeling a bit guilty. I’m glad she stepped away from me. I really couldn’t control myself, shit was starting to get out of hand. I saw one pretty face and I was all over them.
By the time Bernie was done talking to me, I was in tears. I knew that she loved me, but I didn’t think like that. I mean yeah I was her daughter-in-law now, but people usually don’t have good relationships with their mother-in-laws. I was just so blessed and I indeed had so much to be thankful. I heard the door close and I looked over to Bruno closing the door. He awkwardly smiled as he came and sat the table next to me. He frowned when he realized I had been crying, “What’s wrong?!” “Don’t worry Brunito.. we we’re just talking..” Bernie said reassuring him. He nodded, “Well… if you say so.” I wiped my eyes with my sleeve on my t-shirt as Bruno rubbed my back a bit. “So where’d Jazzy go?” I asked after I finally got myself together. “She had to get going..” he said nodding out towards the door. I nodded, “Oh I hope we get to see her again.. I didn’t even get her number..” He shook his head a bit, “We’ll see her again..”
We both decided that would stay in for tonight and just watch a movie. We both ended up falling asleep on the couch and then dragging ourselves to bed in the middle of the night. Those we’re the simple things I loved.
December 18th, 2010
Today marks a week in Hawaii! Sadly it only feels like a couple of days. Tomorrow is Bruno’s first show in Hawaii at the Blaisdell Arena, he couldn’t get over how big the place was. I myself was actually really excited to go to the show with his mom, sisters, and his uncle. Bruno was gone most of the day yesterday doing business and it left me hanging out with Jamie. I had never really got a chance to talk to her much and I was glad I finally got it. Each and every one of them we’re amazing, and I wouldn’t change the position that I am in right now for nothing in the world. Her son was an a talented little guy and I knew that he had the chance to be just like his Uncle. The talent just followed in their family and it was truly something special that they all had.
I got an unbelievable call from Carla today telling me that she was having twins!
I want fucking twins. She was due around June 11th and said that she wanted to have a baby shower in February. It made me think about my wedding that I was supposed to be planning. February was so close but, so far, I knew it would sneak up on me. I still had time to think about it, but I wanted to get help from my girls first when we went home a couple of days after Christmas. Bernie had told me to prepared myself for all the people that would be here on Christmas Eve. I was slightly nervous, but they always made me confident. I had nothing to worry about. Except for for the fact I really don’t know any of these people, and they’re eyes are going to be all over me and if I trip I’m gonna embarrass Bruno and its going to look like he’s getting married to a complete goof ball. Fuck. :)
I danced and sang my ass just like I was in the show at rehearsals. I was determined to make this a good for one for my hometown folks. I really had to make it special since my family would be apart of the crowd. We finished up a song and my red and black plaid shirt was soaking in sweat already. “Alright guys can we get a 15 minute break?” I said picking up my towel and wiping my forehead.”Yeah..” they all groaned. We all we’re pretty tired and I just wanted to go home and sleep the rest of the day. But, I was dedicated to my music and fans, nothing came before that. I went over and sat on a speaker and started chugging at my water. Phil started to walk over to me with a huge smile on my face. I smirked, “Don’t come over here with that shit!” I said moving away. He laughed, “Shut up man.. this is serious.. what I gotta tell you right now..” I nodded, “Alright lay it on me..”…..