I thought about my words really hard before I said them. I didn’t want to stutter or sound like I was nervous about it. “Can we try for kids?” I said quickly. Her eyes widened, “You’re asking to have kids?..” I shrugged a bit, “I mean yeah.. I don’t want to wait too long..” I said honestly. She shook her head, “Why have you changed your mind all of a sudden?” I hugged her a little tighter, “I really don’t know..” She took a deep breath, “You know I want to have them so much..” “Then let me do it, right now..” I said looking up to her. “Now as in right now?” I nodded quickly, “Yes baby right now..” I said starting to rub her inner thighs. I really did want her to have my kids, that would be really special to me. I started to kiss on her back again and inch my way closer up to her. I felt myself starting to get hard again. “Bruno.. we can’t.” she said suddenly. I stopped, “What? Why?” “What about the wedding?” I shook my head slowly, “I didn’t even think about that..” She shook her head as well, “Why don’t we just wait?” I hated that we couldn’t make up our minds on this, we knew we both wanted to do it. “Alright.. but I’m telling you now.. it’s going down at the honeymoon..” I said smirking and trying to lighten the mood. She laughed a bit, “Alright babe..” I kissed her softly, “I love you.” She smiled as she looked into my eyes, “I love you too.”
December 21st, 2010
I still can’t get over the fact that Bruno actually wants to have kids now.
Oh my fucking god, finally been waiting, little Brunos with their curly hair, and watching them grow up, changing their little diapers. I don’t know who, but someone changed his mind about the whole thing. I hated to have to be the one to say no now, but I can’t be a pregnant bride! We could wait, it was only a month and a half till’ February and I’m sure that it would come quick. Now I know that our honeymoon wherever we will go, will be ones to remember. Making dem babies.
Tonight Bruno has a show in Kahului the city that I first saw when we landed here in Hawaii. I was really looking forward to going up there and checking a couple of places out. This would be his last show for over a month, and tomorrow I would be back at the airport saying goodbye to the rest of the guys as they went home to be with their families. I also learned that we would be spending our New Years’ Eve in New York to actually watch the ball drop. I had always dreamed of doing that and now it was actually going to come true. I never imagined that I would even be in Hawaii at this time in my life nonetheless New York either. Bruno and the guys worked their asses off just to even be touring the United States. I don’t like looking deep into the future or anything, but at this rate we could find ourselves in some of the biggest places in the world. Who know’s what’s gonna happen?
“Alright babe.. give em’ a good show.” I said as he went to open the jeep door. He stopped and looked back at me smiling, “You know I got too.” He leaned over and pecked me on the lips before hopping out. We both agreed that while he was doing his show, I would go out and do as I pleased. Bruno was even sweet enough to let me borrow his jeep for the day. I drove downtown trying my best not to get lost. I also tried not to get caught up into the sights while driving. As I pulled up in front of the clothing store I seen Tahiti sitting on the bench texting away on her phone. I slowly rolled down the passenger side window, “Hey pretty lady, looking for a good time?” I said in a deep voice. She quickly looked up and her face was priceless. After a couple of seconds she realized and we both bust out into laughter.
I adjusted my fedora as I played random notes on my guitar. As I played I looked out to the thousands of empty seats that would be filled in less than 2 hours. I was pretty excited for this show considering how well the last one went. This was also my last show besides New Years’ for over a month. I had a feeling that 2011 was going to be a big year for me. I had so much to look forward to, and the money was really starting to roll in. I couldn’t have been more blessed right now. We got threw sound check without any problems and I decided that I would go and see how big the crowd was outside of the center now. I walked of stage into the back and went towards the back door. I walked over to the window and slowly poked my head out. There we’re so many people with fedoras and shirts with my face on it. I instantly smiled ear to ear. “Better not let them see you.” someone said from behind me. I quickly turned around to Dre and he smiled and I laughed. “What they gonna do, come threw the window?” He shook his head, “You never know.”
I finally found a parking spot a block down from the store. It only took me a couple of minutes to get down to the store and when I got there Presley had joined Tahiti. “Ready ladies?” Presley instantly jumped up, “Oh hell yes! Time to work on your style..” I frowned, “My style?” “Yeah.. why’d you think we we’re bringing you here?” I laughed, “I don’t know to shop…” They both started laughing, making me feel a bit uncomfortable. “We’re kidding girl.. come on let’s have some fun..” Tahiti said walking towards the door. I smiled a bit as we all walked in. We started going threw a rack of a bunch of Hawaiian shirts and I knew I had to have one. I picked up one with a bunch of wild and bright colors on it and showed it to Tahiti, she gave me a are-you-kidding-me look. “I’m trying I swear!” I said laughing. She just shook her head.
Right as I was about to stop looking I spotted Jazzy. I turned to Dre, “You should go get her for me?” He looked at me like I was crazy, “Do you even know her?” I shot him the same look, “Why would I be telling you to get her..” I was kind of surprised to see her here, but not at the same time. I guess she wasn’t lying when she said she was coming to my show. Dre put his arm in front of me and back me up before he opened the door. I stood behind it so that no one could see me. “Hey you.. you’re name Jazzy?” I heard him yell out. I couldn’t hear her, but after a couple of seconds he backed up as she walked in. I smiled from ear to ear as she walked in. “Well hello there stranger.” she said smiling a bit. “Me a stranger? I think not.” I said smirking. She looked around a bit, “So.. why’d you bring me back here?” I shrugged, “I can’t talk to you now?” I looked over to Dre out the corner of my eye, he watched us carefully.
She smiled and shook her head, “No it’s not that..” I opened my arms, “Come on you need a hug..” She shook her head as she came in to hug me. The hug lasted a little longer then it should have but, I really liked it. When I looked down to her she seemed a little disappointed. “What’s wrong?” I said unsure of what I had did. “I don’t feel right being close to you like this..” she said softly. I looked over to Dre and then back to her, “Why not?” “You’re married..” I shook my head, “Actually I’m not..” She quickly looked up to me, “What do you mean?” I shrugged a bit, “I mean I’m not married… yet..” I felt like I was getting myself into something that I wouldn’t be able to get out of…..
I jumped a bit trying to squeeze myself into a pair of jeans I really liked. After trying for almost 30 seconds it didn’t work and I gave up. “Are you alright in there?” I heard Presley say from behind the door. “I’m fine.” I said as I angrily folded the jeans back up. I guess I really didn’t need them anyway. I had found a couple of things for myself so far, and a really nice blouse that I’m sure Bernie would love. I was really excited for Christmas this year.
She looked down and I looked over to Dre and gave him the can-I-get-some-privacy-look. He shook his head and shrugged as he walked around the corner. I looked back down to her and grabbed her chin and pulled her face to mine. We both just stared at each other and I felt myself starting to lean. I watched her as she bit her lip and started to lean as well. Before I knew it our lips touched and I closed my eyes and just let it happen. I dropped my hand from her chin as we unlocked. She looked away, “That shouldn’t have happened.” she said almost whispering. I put my hand on her hip, “But it did.” I was so in a world of lust right now that I wasn’t even think to hard about the decisions I was making. I just did what my stomach told me to do. “You should give me your number..” I said before she could respond. She reached out her hand for my phone and I reached into my pocket and handed it to her. She took a couple of seconds and put it in while I looked to my left and right, I really felt guilty about it all of this. “I guess.. I’ll talk to you later?” she said looking towards the door. I nodded and smirked, “Yeah..” “Enjoy the show..” I said as she opened the door. She looked me up and down and smiled, “I’m sure I will.” As she closed the door my smile dropped, that was the test of trust my Uncle had told me about, and I had just failed it.
10:30 P.M. rolled around quickly, and my day out with the girls really reminded me of my friends back home. I really missed them so much and as soon as I got back to L.A. I would set up dinner for all of us. Bruno had called me right after the show and told me that he would be coming in late since it was his last night with the guys. I listened to the radio and bobbed my head as I drove. It wasn’t until I pulled up in the driveway when I realized how tired I was. I dragged myself out of the car and opened the back door and pulled my couple of bags out. I walked in to Bruno’s mom sitting at the dining room table. She smiled to me and I returned it. I went over to the couch and dropped my bags and purse down behind it. “You look tired..” she said as I turned back around and started walking to the table. I pulled out a chair and slid down into it, “I really am..” She smiled and just sipped on her cup. “Why you up so late?” I said joking a bit. She laughed, “Oh nothing, just had a lot on my mind really couldn’t sleep..” I frowned, “Everything okay?” She took a deep breath, “Yes.. but no.” I could tell something was bothering her and I wanted to be able to help in anyway I could. “You wanna talk about it?..” I whispered.
“Can I just say.. that I love ya’ll so much!” I said holding up my drink. I got countless pats on the back. “Love you too B!” I heard Ryan say. Right as I was about to down my drink I got a tap on my shoulder. I smiled as I turned to Kam, he pointed over to the corner of the room where Jam and this girl we’re really close. I looked at him at the same time he looked at me, and we both started giggling like little kids. Besides Kenji, Jam was the shy guy of the group and he was never caught doing anything out of his character. I started to get up but, Kam pushed me back, “What are you doing?” “Im going to say hi..” I said slurring my words a bit. He shook his head, “Don’t be a cock blocker man..” I laughed and just turned back around to in my chair. I picked up my drink once again and downed it all in a couple of seconds. I haden’t got drunk in awhile, and this felt damn good.
I shook my head slowly, “I didn’t know it affected you that deeply mom.. I am so sorry.” She wiped her face a bit, “Don’t worry you don’t have to apologize.. it gets better everyday..” I reached out my hand and she looked down to it and grabbed it. “I promise that I will make him call, write, and even visit more.. I promise.” I said honestly. I knew that she missed Bruno, but I didn’t know this much. She was already trying to prepare herself for when he left in the next week. I wanted her to enjoy the time he was here right now. “Diamond.. you are such an amazing young lady.” I smiled ear to ear, “And you are one amazing mom.” She squeezed my hand a bit, “Bruno is so lucky.. and I couldn’t have asked for a better daughter-in-law.” I felt myself tearing up, she just didn’t know how much her words mean’t to me.
Phil held my arm tight as we walked outside and the Hawaiian air filled my nose. “Wait.. can I smoke really fast?” I said grabbing for my back pocket with my other hand. He stopped walking and let my arm go, “Hurry up.. I’m ready to go to sleep.. I got a long flight tomorrow.” “Alright man damn..” I said putting a cigarette in my mouth. He went over and leaned on the truck while I light my cigarette. I moved back a bit and leaned up against the wall as well, I stumbled a bit but regained my balance. “Be careful stupid..” he said watching me. I put my hand out, “I got this..” I smoked my cigarette while my mind wondered. My mind was everywhere and I couldn’t even keep focused on one topic.” I looked up to Phil and smiled, “Guess what?” He frowned, “What?” “I’m going to have myself some kids too.” I said thursting a bit. He waved me off, “Gone with all that..” I laughed as I dumped my cigarette, “You not happy for me?” He laughed, “Sure.. if that’s what you want me to say.. then sure.”
Me and Bernie talked for 30 minutes, that felt like hours. I learned so much about her, Bruno, and even myself. I even told her about things that not even Bruno knew. Each time we talked it was like we got a tighter bond with each other, our conversations we’re just free. I didn’t feel awkward or uncomfortable around her. She didn’t judge me, or make me feel bad for the mistakes that I had made. I really needed someone like her in my life. I would really miss her when we left.
I dropped my cigarette and stepped on it putting it out, “Alright I’m ready now..” “Finally..” he said walking over to the driver’s side. I dragged myself into the truck and slowly put my seatbelt on. He got in and closed the door, and started the car all in a couple of seconds. As we pulled off my mind started to drift again, I had no idea what I was thinking, but I knew I was thinking about something. “I met this girl..” I said looking out the window. “What do you mean?” I looked over to him and bit my lip, “She’s fine man..” He shook his head, “What the hell are you saying?” “I met this girl.. at the beach.. and you know..” “Brunz man.. I hope you joking right now..” I waved him off and laughed, “I am too old to play games with you Phil!” He shook his head, “You promised that girl..” “Phil damn man it was just a kiss!” I said getting a little upset. He looked at me like I had gone mad, “A kiss? You kissed her?” I reached up and took my fedora off and put it on my lap. I started playing in my hair that I had let go downhill. “Yeah I did..” I said nodding.
As we started to wrap up our conversation I heard a car pulling up in the driveway. I smiled, “That’s probably him now.” I looked back to her and she just smiled at me. “It’s gonna be okay..” I said trying to comfort her. I really didn’t want her to cry in front of him because he would get upset. I heard him laughing and Phil saying something as they got closer to the door. I got up and opened the door to find Bruno looking crazy and Phil looking worried holding one of his arms. Bruno looked up to me and smiled, “Hey baby.” I knew that he was going out to have a good time, but I didn’t know he was going to get piss drunk. This was not the right time for this at all….