Chapter 22

07/03/2012 12:58


"What the hell are you doing here?" 

"I wanted to see you... These are for you." He replies and holds the roses towards me.

"Oh..." Is only I can come up with. Why does he irritate me so much and why the hell does my heart starts to beat faster when I see him looking at me like this? I look at the roses. I don't want to take them. Just when he opened his mouth I suddenly smell something weird. "Shit." I rush into the kitchen and take the pot from the oven. I stir the stew and luckily it's not burned much only a bit at the bottom. I take another pot and put the stew in so that the burned bit remains inside. Then I put the new pot on the oven and the other one into the sink. When I turn towards the door again I see Tony walked in and now leans at the door frame watching me.

"You know I miss your tomato stew! You doin chicken or beef with it?"

"Chicken." I don't know why do I allow him to walk in? Why do I even talk to him? I only should ask him to go but something in me hesitates. Why? Just why?

"Don't you wanna put them in water?" He asks referring to the roses.

I look at the roses and then at him. "Why are you here, Tony?"

He sighs and puts the roses on the table. I remember he only brought me flowers like 2 times in fucking 6 years! And only because he cheated... the first 2 times he did it... I shake my head. Pain starts to take over my heart. I hate this feeling it instantly makes me tearing up.

"Can you please just go?! I don't really can stand you bein here." I say trying to sound sternly.

"I never was able to apologize, Caroline. The day you were in the studio it was the last day I saw you. You refused any contact, didn't answer any call or text. That really was hurtful."

"Are you serious now? I think I had every right to refuse seeing and talking to you. You think it didn't hurt me too? You think it was easy for me? You fuckin broke my heart! More than once! And one month after that my dad died and I felt like I died as well. I couldn't say goodbye to him because I was so in pain because of you. That's all your fault!" I sober and tears running down my face. "And now you're comin here with some damn roses and think that makes everything good again?" I take the roses and toss them at his feet. Then I wipe away my tears and lean on the wall holding my face with my palms.

Tony gets closer and takes my hands. "I'm so sorry, Caro. I was such an idiot! I hate myself for hurting you so much! But I love you and I miss you sooo much. There's not a day I don't think about you. So many things remind me of you. If I could I would turn back time and do everything better, but I can't..." He takes my chin so that I have to look at him. "I wanna make up everything to you. I changed and I only wanna make you happy. Please gimme a chance! Only this last chance! Please!"

He rubs with his thumb over my cheek wiping away some more tears and coming closer. His lips almost touching mine when I push him away.

"No! I can't! You hurt me too much... I can't forgive you that!"

"Please! Try! I beg you. Should I go down on my knees? I do everything you want. Just gimme a chance. Please! I love you!"

I shake my head and push him away more. "No! Please go now." I say and just in that moment I hear someone unlocks the door and it opens. Bruno walks in.

"Hey ba..." He starts yelling happy like always when he comes home but freezes when he sees me and Tony. "What the hell is he doing here?"

I only stare at him. This all is too much for me. I'm so confused and filled with emotions that I'm not able to speak.

Tony looks at him. "So that's your new one? That's a fuckin kid!" He laughs lightly. "Caro, you know you still love me. We gonna start all over again. I promise I make all up to you. I can make you happy!" He repeats with more intense. It sounds honestly. Maybe he really changed? I look into his eyes and I see the same Tony I fell in love with. I see his regret and his love for me. But... I feel... nothing. I feel neither hate nor love. I stopped loving him a long time ago. I look at Bruno and feel this warmth fill my heart. I'm going to him past Tony who follows me with his eyes. I stand beside Bruno and smile lightly at him. He smiles back. I turn around and face Tony.

"I'm happy! I'm unbelievable happy with Bruno! You had your chance, in fact you had a lot of chances you didn't take and now it's too late. I'm with Bruno. I love him and he makes me happy like you did a very very long time ago. I won't leave him for you or for anybody else."

Bruno takes my hand and I squeeze it strongly.

"Duh... Are you serious? You prefer this kid here? What can he give you? I bet he's broke as shit. Just look at this old stuff he's wearing. I can give you what you want. You know you always wanted to go to this island in the caribic. I can take you there! I can make your dreams come true. I can make you happy! Not this pathetic jerk..."

I shake my head. "You don't get it, Tony. I AM HAPPY just the way it is! I don't miss you! I don't love you anymore! I just want you to leave now and don't bother me!" 

"Ok... you gonna regret this!" He says walking past us and pushing Bruno lightly ot of the way. Bruno steps towards him but I stop him. "Just don't come to me when you got rid of this kid."

I shake my head. "Don't worry, this will never happen!" 

He opens angrily the door and storms out. "By the way the island isn't in the caribic, it's one of the Maldives and don't worry I'll take her there." Bruno shouts at him with a small laugh while closing the door. He turns around and I flung my arms around him. I'm so relieved. He came in the right moment. I know now that I don't feel anything anymore for Tony and that I'm right where I belong... in Bruno's arms. We hug tight when I again smell something burning. I rush into the kitchen and fix it again. Bruno helps me and washes the 2 pots I already messed up. I can save enough stew for us and after we ate and spend the rest of the evening with talking about the day and listening to some music we go sleeping.

In the middle of the night I wake up. I turn around and see Bruno doesn't lie next to me. Through the door I can hear a quiet humming and guitar strumming. I get up and open the door carefully not making any sound. I step a bit into the hallway so that I can look inside of the living room. Bruno sits on the couch with his back towards me and some papers lay in front of him. I step a bit closer and try to listen what he's singing or should I say rapping? He's so quiet I can hardly understand a word only some pieces...

Ever since I was little, I always had a dream maybe one day I woke up and ... in my pocket, ballin on the floor, lookin for the people ... I wanna own a island ... and be the king of a castle with a crown on my head ... see I was lookin for a real but now it's time never did I fear ... but we can never stop and we can never lay and ... I'll be sayin every day like

I grin own a island that's coming from me. He writes something on the paper and repeats the last words. Now he sings a bit louder. I guess it's the chorus and I understand everything.

...and I'll be sayin every day like, I wanna be a billionaire so fuckin bad, buy all of the things you never had, I wanna be on the cover of Forbes magazine right above P. Diddy and the Queen, oh every time I close my eyes, I see my name in shiny lights, a different city every night, oh I swear the world better prepare for when I'm a billionaire oh oh oh oh when I'm a billionaire oh oh oh oh

"I don't like P. Diddy." I say jokingly when he finished and walk over to him. He turns around and smiles lightly, but I see something's wrong. I put my hands on his shoulders lightly massaging them and lean down. "You can't sleep?"

"Yeah... I need to write that down. I had it in my mind since we were in London, I was kinda stucked with only I wanna be a billionaire so fuckin bad but in the night I had all these words in my mind so I got up... sorry for wakin you up."

"It's alright." I give him a peck on his cheek and climb over the couch to sit down next to him. "Can I read it?"

"Of course!" He grabs the paper and hands it to me. I read it through.

"I like it. I love when you do that relaxed rapstyle and it's kinda reggae-like..."

"Yeah..." He responses and leans back. I can tell he's tired. Why does he do that to himself? 

"Don't you wanna come in bed again? You're about to fall asleep..."

"Hm hm." He closes his eyes and let his head hanging down on the backside of the couch. 

"What's wrong, Bruno?"


"But I can feel you're not ok..."

He lifts his head and opens his eyes staring in the air. He does that for some seconds. "It's just... I know things got better in the last weeks and I got some money but it's nowhere near enough... and most probably I'll never have enough to give you what you dream of..."

I caress the back of his neck. "Okay, first I believe in you and I know that you'll make it and maybe you don't get a billionaire but you'll live good from your music and that's the most important thing and secondly I already have everything I dream of... Money means nothing for me. I was never broke and I never had much money. I can buy what I need to live a good life. That's all I want. If you have too much money but noone sharing it with what for do you have it? I don't wanna bring that up again but I think it's a reason for your worries, the things Tony said you heard them... he now has enough money but on the way gaining it he lost me... he realised it but it's too late... I'm positive that he'll find a girl to share it with but he never can be sure if she loves him or his money... I knew him when he was broke and stuck with him although he did all this shit and now he knows that he never gonna find someone like me ever again... not that I brag..." I smirk lightly.

He puts his arm around my shoulder and pulls me close. After a small kiss on my forehead I rest my head on his chest feeling his heartbeat.

"I know. I love you."

"I love you too."

"Not more?"

I chuckle. "Jerk."

His chest goes lightly up and down when he chuckles too. "So you said you don't like P. Diddy? 

"Hm... not really.."

"So who else should I be on Forbes with?"

"I dunno... maybe another woman? Don't you like bein sandwiched? What about Oprah?" I suggest giggling.

"Eeewww you're mean. Now this image of me bein between the Queen and Oprah will never leave me."

I jawn and lift my head. "Babe I'm really tired. I go back sleeping." 

He nods and puts his guitar aside when we stand up. While walking to the bedroom he puts his arms around me from behind and kisses my neck. "You know that you made me horny now talkin about all this sandwich thingy so you won't get sleep the next 20 minutes."

"Hm I don't mind." I reply grinning. 

He softly pushes me on the bed. "Did I tell you already I love you?"

Instead of answering I spread my legs and raise my finger signalising he should come to me and so he does. He's Bruno fuckin Mars, you don't have to tell him twice, I think when he let himself fall down on top of me...