Chapter 2

07/08/2011 23:32

2. Guilt

’she looked at me lifting one eyebrow ‘Bruno who?’ she said. ‘well..actually it’s Peter Hernandez. But…everyone calls me Bruno..’

She lifted the other eyebrow to ‘I’m not here to know your nicknames. Well. I don’t care , as long as they survive.’ I looked at her again ‘…I do care..even if they survive.’ I stood up and walked to the room where Joelle was laying I walked in and saw all the monitors, the machines attached to her body…the way the sound beeped in my ear made me uncomfortable. I sighed.  I could not live with myself if one of them didn’t survive. My heart skipped a few beats thinking about it. I heard a doctor step behind me ‘Sir you aren’t allowed in here..she needs her rest.’ Is what he said to me. ‘..I’m not bothering her.’ Is what I said back to him. I turned around to face the doctor. It’s the same one with Alissa.  Of course I know their names. It’s all I know from them. The minute I walked in I felt a bad mood hanging around here. Like someone died when I walked in. It was myself who was hoping that it wasn’t either of them. ‘sir you need to leave.’ Is what he said to me again. I walked out of the room taking a last look at Joelle ‘is Alissa okay?’ is what I asked. My heart stopped when I asked him, but then I heard the freeing words ‘She is fine.’ And it was like my heart never stopped. Well it didn’t but you know what I mean. ‘Thank you.’ I smiled. ‘When can I visit?’ I looked at the doctor again. ‘tomorrow. They need to sleep now.’ I smiled knowing they were going to be okay. ‘I’ll be back’

I went home. The traffic was making me sick. The slower I was driving the more time I had to think about what happened. And I didn’t want to think about what happened. I had a renting car cause my other one is wrecked. I got away with a huge scar on my chest. But..that’s okay. I wasn’t in pain or something. It just felt like my flesh was burning, well that is actually painful but not as painful as the shit that Alissa and Joelle go through. Damn it ! ‘stop thinking about that’ is what my brain said. But it didn’t work, cause my heart said that if I cared I’d stay. And I will go back, but I need a shower. And I need to explain a few things to some people. I parked my car in the garage and walked up to my house. It isn’t that big, it’s an average size. Its white with a balcony. It’s a classic beautiful house with allot of windows and of course an amazing garden. I opened the door and went upstairs. I went to the bathroom and turned on the shower, went to my room to get my stuff and then I went back to the bathroom again. I unbuttoned the first two buttons of my shirt and then she walked in. ‘Hey baby!’

I smiled at her ‘Hey beautiful.’ She walked her way to me to hold me tight. ‘I love you.’ Is what she whispered in my ear while unbuttoning the rest of my shirt. I held her by her love handles  and put her close to me to kiss her passionately. She smiled at me and then looked at my chest. ‘OHMYGOD!’ I covered her mouth ‘shh…it’s nothing..’ is what I said to her to calm her down. ‘nothing? Bruno, it’s a HUGE scar! How did you get it!?’ she was concerned as hell trying to get an answer by looking me into my eyes in a dramatic way. ‘Chanel honey, do you mind if I take this shower first?’

I calmed her down. ‘…fine.’ Is what she said when she walked out. I sighed and looked into the mirror staring at the scar,  it went right across my abs and my left chest side. It was like a big oblique stripe. I touched it, it didn’t hurt it just burned. The water was still running. I looked myself in the eyes in the mirror. What I saw there was disappointment. I took my shower got dressed and went downstairs to see my depressed girlfriend on the couch dying to know what happened. ‘explain’ is what she said. She tapped on the couch as a sign that I needed to sit there. She made tea for me. 

I sat next to her and explained everything to her for 3 hours. I told her everything , how it happened , how I felt , who the girls were. At first she was shocked but then she told me not to make such a big deal out of it because I was a good person and I shouldn’t have this ruin my soul. We went to bed at 4.33 AM and I got up 9.30 to take my shower brush my teeth go downstairs eat something a little quickly  and get in my car to go to the hospital.  I got there at 10. My eyes were burning cause I didn’t sleep well at all. I got a text ‘where you at PIMMMPPP !?’  oh hell, it was Monday, I should’ve been at work already. It was my best friend Phillip Lawrence. I work in the musical business. I tried to become a solo artist but that dream was ruined a long time ago. Now I’m a producer, I guess that’s working out well for now. I walked in while texting him back ‘at the hospital, I’ll explain later.’ I put my phone away and walked too room 40C. which was odd because my last apartment was in Hill street 40C.

I got there and my heart stopped. The room was empty no one was in there. A nurse walked in, a white skinny blond one, kind of cute. ‘uhm..are you here  to visit Alissa James?’  is what she asked me

I nodded still in shock. ‘she doesn’t stay here anymore, she’s fine.’ It was like I gained 50 pounds in a second and then it fall of again. ‘Thank you..’ I walked to the room next to Alissa’s and then I saw Joelle and Alissa laughing together. I have never been so relieved in my whole life.