I wake up again in the middle of the night, faintly hearing yelling. I can't go back to sleep so I creep downstairs to the guest room where the shouting is coming form, hiding behind the cracked door to, well, eavesdrop.
Dad: "No no no!!! How is this my fault?!"
Mom: "It's equally our fault. You can't make 1 without 2" What??
Dad: "But how the hell did you get pregnant?!" It feels like my heart stops.
Mom: "Shh! the kids are sleeping!" Too late for that mom.
It goes quiet for a little.
Mom: "What are we going to do?" She starts to cry.
Dad: "Get an abortion." I shake my head to myself, knowing they can't see me.
Mom: "I can't do that."
Dad: "Well what are we supposed to do?! You don't work. I can barely take care of y'all and I'm gone 24/7. One of our children is an out of control badass because you don't know how to teach him and the other one is sneaking out doing who knows what with some guy!" my heart sinks for three reasons:
1: My mom is pregnant. They'll completely forget about me like they did when Braxton was born.
2: They are arguing. I hate when they argue.
3: My dad thinks I'm doing stuff with a guy. What hurts even more is that... that I almost did... on the beach... with Bruno. I won't let it go that far again. I can't.
I wake up on Monday hoping for a brighter day. I go to school, completely ignoring my parents. I go to class, not feeling well at all.
At lunch, I walk up to Savannah.
"Hi." She rolls her eyes at me.
"How could you?" And she walks away. I walk in the direction of Ambar and Carol. They just walk away. I didn't see Julie at school today. I felt even more horrible. What did I do to my life? A little over 2 weeks! Shows how fast you can ruin your life. All you need is one cocky, uncontrollable, se- um annoying, crazy, over-acheiving boy.
When I was walking home after school, it started sprinkling again. What's up with this weather? Now I'm cold again. Anyway, I saw Bruno. I just wanted him to hug me, make me feel better.
"Bruno..." I say walking up to him.
"Oh hey... Abrianna."
"I- I" I start, shivering.
"Look, Abri. I think we should stop."
"Stop what?" I fake a laugh. He hesitates.
"Look.. When I fell in love with Carol, I.. I did the same things you are. It's not good." It starts to rain harder. This rain must really like me. I really felt like I would cry. He lifts up my chin.
"I'm sorry.." He whispers. I push his hand away, looking away from him.
"I wasn't in love with you then, I'm not in love with you now, and I will NEVER," I snap, looking up at him. 'Be in love with the jerk you've always been. I thought you were different but ever since I met you," I look him up and down in disgust. "I've been proven wrong A LOT. Maybe for the better." I run in the direction of my house because I really started to cry. I take the long way home. How could the day be so long?
I change courses and walk to Julie's house, soaking wet and crying. I knock on her door. When she open, she stands there shocked.
"What did I do, Julie?"
"What did I do wrong?!?!"
"Abri calm down! Come inside.."
30 minutes later, I'm balled up in Julie's bed, staring at nothing. She gave me some clothes to change into. She's such a great friend. She comes upstairs to her room from making me some Hot Chocolate.
"Here." She says sitting on the bed and handing it to me.
"Thanks." I sit up still shivering.
"What happened?" She asked after a moment. I sit the cup down on her nightstand.
"I- I just- I don't wanna be here anymore."
"Don't say that Abri."
"No I'm serious! Ever since I met Bruno, everything has been going downhill. I just wanna get away from here."
"Don't let that change anything Abs. You still have me, Savannah, Ambar..."
"No I just have you."
"What? How? What now?" She asks trying to understand.
"They ignored me today. They're on Carol's side." I say putting my head in my hands.
"Then what's with Bruno?"
"He said and I quote, "I think we should stop." and then I asked him what and he said "...Talking"" I say doing the hand quotes.
"Yep. Oh! And when I asked him why, he says "Look.. when I fell in love with Carol, I did the same stuff you're doing. It's not good" I say mimicking his tone of voice.
"Yea but then I told him off!" She scoots closer.
"Really!?" I nod. "Share, share!" I proceed to telling her what I said.
Later on, I call my mom and tell her I'm spending the night at Julie's and going to school from here.
The next morning, I pick out an outfit from Julie's closet. We walk to school together.
On my way to school, you wouldn't believe what I saw. Carol actually turned down Bruno. I felt a little guilt when I heard her say,
"Go fuck my "best friend" you asshole!" He's the only guy she trusted, ever. It's all my fault. Why did I have to talk to him? Why did I agree to this "game"?
I hear Julie say, "That's what they fucking get!" filling me up with guilt. It's not Carol's fault. I basically cheated on her. Bruno basically cheated on Carol and Alisha... with me. He cheated with me! I'm the fucking bitch! I did this all! Why?!
Why couldn't I have just gotten them back together and that's it?!
I feel my eyes fill up with tears but I don't let them escape. I look at the ground ashamed. I'm a horrible friend. I'm a horrible person.
Later on at lunch, I sit alone with Julie while she talks. Not really listening to Julie, I see Alisha fight with Bruno. This is what I think they are saying.
Alisha: "How could you Bruno?!" tears were streaming down her face.
Bruno: "I- I" He sighs.
Alisha: "What did I do?!" She holds her phone, shaking it in his face.
Alisha: "Am I not good enough for you?!"
Bruno: "It's not you..."
Alisha: "Oh don't give me that 'It's not you It's me' stuff!"
Bruno: "It's not what it looks like"
Alisha: "At least make up your own lines Bruno! I have proof! In this picture, are you or are you not making out with a girl on the beach?"
She holds up her phone. Guilt struct me like a bullet to the heart. Bruno stares at it for a while.
Bruno: "Yes.. I am..." His voice cracked.
Alisha: "I've been hurt so many times Bruno you wouldn't believe. I came here for a new start."
She says soft and low from her crying.
Bruno: "I'm so-"
I excuse myself from the table, running to the bathroom. I don't know what to do. Guilt has now taken over...
I start breathing heavy, trying not to cry. Julie walks in.
"This is all my fault, Julie. It's all my fault!" I slide to the ground.
"Abri! You're over-reacting! What's all your fault?!"
"Bruno and Alisha. She was crying! She knew! She found out and now she's hurt!"
"What the fuck are you talking about?! Found out what?!"
"I-I-I... I basically broke her heart." My eyes start watering.
"Shh sh sh! Don't cry Abs. Tell me what." She sits down by me and I put my head in my hands.
"I kissed him, Julie! Full on made out with him! I even almost did something I would regret!" I look at her shocked face.
"Oh Abri... why didn't you tell me?"
"I don't know but I broke her heart."
"No you didn't. HE kissed you... Right?"
"Yea but I could've stopped him."
"Nooo.... He would've stopped if he cared enough. Stop blaming everything on yourself. It's not always you. He's a heartbreaker. It's not your fault."
"Are you sure because-"
"Yes I'm sure."
"Well... I trust you.."
"Okay... So are you okay?"
"Yea. I'm fine."
"Okay! Let's go to class! The bell rang!" She gets up.
"Oh and Julie?"
"Yea?" She looks at me.
"Thank you." I sincerely say. She smiles.
"Aint no thang!" We laugh and run to class.
I go home today and I'm going to do all my homework again! I called Julie to help me with History, but we get a little off topic. Just a little...
"So- But how long was it?" I laugh.
"It was pretty long."
"Was it one of the big ones though?" I laugh again.
"Idkaaayyyy..." She gasps.
"It was!" I role on my back on my bed.
"How did we go from reviewing Renaissance to reviewing make-outs?"
"It wasn't Renaissance!"
"But.. did he.. or did you?"
"Did I what?"
"You know.. make the first move."
"Well... he leaned in.." I say, not exactly sure what she meant.
"No.. Who started the... nasty nasty?"
"...We didn't do anything.."
"But you said-"
"I said 'I almost' not 'I did'.." I say, flipping ovr again in my bed and twirling my pencil in my hair.
"But who started-"
"So what did he do?"
"So many questions!"
"And we're not studying until you answer!" I sigh.
"What do you want to know?"
"What did he do? Details!"
"No! Like how? I just wanna know!"
"He started to kiss me then after a while he laid me down on the sand..."
"Fine! I was just-"
"Sh! Then he was hovering over me. Then he-"
"Did he use tongue?!"
"Then he inches his way down to the bottom of my shirt and pulls it off."
"You let him?!?"
"Well I didn't know how to-"
"Fine! He started to go to my pants but I stopped him. And that was all."
"Yea... So how are you and John doing?"
"I don't wanna talk about it" She hangs up. Julie!
We start texting. At about 8:07 pm, I'm studying when my phone lights up. Another text from Julie! I jump at my phone. My smile starts to fade when I read the name on the screen...
New text message from Bruno. I wasn't feeling down but when I saw that name pop up, the last 2 weeks played in my mind. I debated with myself on whether or not to open it. A little while later, my thumb presses the button. It reads:
"Can't blame you for thinking that you never really knew me at all. I thought I was protecting you from everything that I went through but I know we got lost along the way." ~B
I sit staring. I forget to blink so my eyes start to water. I've cried more in the past weeks than I usually do in months. I decided to go to bed. I didn't notice how sleepy I was until I laid down. My eyes go heavy as I drifted off...
I wake up to a rainy day. Not helping the mood Hawaii! I get ready and walk to school with Julie.
"That's sweet but he's just tryna get you back," She says looking at Bruno's message. "You're probably his last choice."
"Oh thanks.." I roll my eyes, snatching my phone back. Julie gives me a motherly look.
"Do you care Abri?"
In second period we keep passing notes. We've had more time together since my "friends" left. At lunch I see Bruno talking to Eric then I see Carol and them. 'Wait..' I think, turning my head back to Eric. 'I haven't talked to him in forever!'
"Yeah?" She says looking up from her sandwich.
"Thank you." She looks at me confused.
"For staying with me. You gain friends and you lose them. But you.. you stayed without a doubt."
"Abri, my middle name is your nickname. If I left, how would I explain that?" We laugh.
"Well, I'm gonna go talk to Eric. I haven't talked to him in a while and I'm sort of sorry for just-"
"OKAY!" I walk up to where Eric and Bruno are.
"Speaking of devillina" Eric says.
"Shut up!" I push him.
"That's how you treat someone you ignored for almost two weeks?!"
"I didn't ignore you! I just... gave you extra time for football practice.." I look at Bruno quickly and he's looking at me.
"Yea right! I know what you were doing!" I raise an eyebrow and cross my arms.
"And what was I.. 'doing'?" He smirks at Bruno. Uh oh..
"Having too much fun with my brother." My jaw drops out of shock.
"No I wasn't Eric! That's disgusting!" I hit him.
"What's wrong with having too much.. Oh.. oh Abri you need to get your mind out the gutter!"
"Fuck you! That's not what you meant!"
"No.. That's not what you were thinking."
"Oh don't tell me you have never thought about having sex with my brother!" He points at Bruno and I accidentally look at him. He smirks at me. 'Shit' I think. I look at Eric.
"No." He smirks.
"It's okay because he already wants to do it with-"
"Shut up Eric.." Bruno finally speaks.
"He's been having a cr-"
"I said Shut up Eric!!" Bruno says again.
"He said he wants to-"
"I said shut the fuck up Eric!!" Bruno says starting to chase him. Eric laughs.
"I'll tell you later Abri!" I laugh. I walk over to where Julie is. She's talking to some girls.
"Um.. look we gotta go! Ttyl!" They run off, leaving me all alone. I slowly walk back to where Eric is catching his breath, still laughing....