I felt someone shaking me, yelling at me. Saying my name over and over and over again. Then I heard a ringing in my ears and then a pop. I open my eyes and it was the nurse that helped me deliver Linda.
“Mrs. Hernandez , can you hear me?” a nurse said,
“yes, i'm fine.” I said,
“You passed out on us.” she said.
I looked over and seen another nurse helping Bruno up off the floor and laying him on the couch. Then it all came back to me, I had twins. A Boy and a Girl. Linda and.... I don't know what I want to name him. I definetly don't want a Bruno Jr. I didn't want to call my sons name and feel the anger that I feel for Bruno. It's not fair to the baby. The nurse came back in with the babies, she gave Bruno Linda and I got baby boy. Bruno looked over at me and shook his head.
“I can't believe....Damn twins” Bruno said.
“Yeah, Twins” I said.
“Well I think it's a blessing” the nurse said.
“yeah” I said.
“So what are we going to name baby boy” she asked
“Pe...” Bruno said.
“No, no junior” I said.
I Looked down at my baby boy and smiled. He had his dads same look on his face when he sleeps, mouth wide open. He Bruno curly hair but it was not much, Bruno nose, my fullness but Bruno shaped lips and my ears. His little eyes were definetly Bruno's that old soul look that reminded me of dad. I look over at Bruno and he's talking to Linda, she has her eyes open too and she's staring at him. I smile and then the name just came to me.
“Joey, Joey Gene Hernandez” I said.
“No, I want him to be a Junior” Bruno said.
“well I don’t” I said.
“OK, well congratulation on your fraternal twins, were going to take them and you can have them in the morning but when I come back please have a named picked out for the baby boy.” the nurse said.
She wrote somethings down on a piece of paper and pointed to the babies. Bruno got up and put Linda down in her baby bin, grabbed Joey and put him into his bin. The nurse and another nurse grabbed the babies and left the room. Bruno sat on the couch and put his head down with his hands going through his fingers. I felt dread go through out the room and the realization on reality slapped me in the face.
“Why cant he be named after me Alicia” Bruno said.
“Because, I don’t want to call my sons name and be angry” I said.
“Alicia, were only taking a break.”
I didn't say anything.
“Right?” he said
“I...i don’t know peter” I said.
“Stop it because you know that you do know so what the fuck are we going to do Alicia.”
“I don’t fucking know Peter.”
“Well make up your mind.”
“we wouldn’t be in...”
“Don't even say it Alicia, you don’t have to remind me of what happened. I was there but there was a good reason why it happen.”
“A good reason to fucking cheat on me!!!”
“I didn't fuckin cheat on you!”
“Oh so kissing another women that your not related to when your married is not cheating Peter?!”
Bruno stood up and put his hands in the air. “oh for fuck sakes Alicia, let me tell you...”
“NO, I KNOW WHAT HAPPEN, I WAS THERE!”
“NO YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING!
“excuse me you are waking other patience’s, please keep it down” a nurse said.
“How about you mind your business and keep on walking” Bruno said to the nurse.
The nurse flip him the bird and closed the door.
“But Alicia...” Bruno said.
“No, i'm done talking about it” I said.
“Fine, take your time because I don’t care what you say, we’re not over. I know you, your mad and I know that but when it's time for you to listen and stop being hardheaded, i'll talk.”
He kissed me on my forehead and looked at me. He put his thumb on my cheek and stroked it, I looked into his eyes as he smiled at me. I inhaled and smelled his cinnamon smell. I never knew what he put on that smelled like cinnamon but I loved it. His smile and his eyes was what got me to him in the first place. Then those eyes, filled with energy, wisdom, & Love. Those eyes wondered, the energy was drained from me, wisdom is what I thought I had but the love is still there. I pushed his hand away from me after a while.
“your still my wife” Bruno said.
“I know of this Peter” I said.
He walked over to the couch, took off his shoes and laid on it.
“When are you going to get over this so we can talk” Bruno said.
“when I feel like your worthy enough to talk to” I said.
“I love how your so quick to assume things without knowing the full story.”
“I don’t have to assume that my so called husband was kissing another woman”
“What ever Peter, shut up so I can sleep, i'm tired I just gave birth to twins”
“Then shut up and go to sleep”
I'm not going to even reply back. I'm tired of talking so I fall asleep.
When I opened my eyes I seen Bruno holding Linda and he was humming a song to her. Joey was sleeping in his baby bin next to Bruno. I sat up and there was a tray of food in front of me, breakfast. It wasn't my food but it was something, i'm starving.
“Good morning” Bruno said.
“when did the nurse bring in the babies” I said.
“See mommy doesn't have any manners” he said to Linda.
“Good. Morning. Peter”
“say good morning mommy”
He brought Linda over towards me, she had her eyes open. I knew I was a mom but it didn't really sink in until I seen her face.
“hey lil mamas, what you doing?” I said.
“say, i'm with my daddy” Bruno said.
“she looks just like you.”
“Yeah but she has your fullness”
“yeah, I feel like I just had a girl version of you”
“yeah, she's beautiful. you know this proves that I was right” he said with a smile.
“half right, because of Joey over there so you owe me”
“you owe me too, see Linda, daddy's always right”
“Not always, but let me hold her”
“I'm going to be leaving soon, let me hold my daughter”
Linda fell asleep as Joey woke up, he put her down in her baby bin and picked up Joey. He was humming to him too when I felt my eyes drift off.
I heard guy voices and talking and a baby cooing.
“it's OK son just give her time.” someone said
“i'm trying to but she's not letting me...” he cleared his voice
“i know, I know Bruno. She wont admit it but she can be like her mother. Stubborn, but like me she'll listen to you when she get's all of her emotions together. Just give her time, I know Alicia.”
“OK, but what should I do about being a singer and a father at the same time johnny?” Bruno asked
“i always says family comes first but by time you get done touring, Alicia will be ready.” dad said
“Thank you johnny” Bruno said
“your welcome, but if you make my daughter cry again, i'll make sure my ring puts a curve in your nose.” dad said
I didn't hear anything but I felt clothes moving and then a door close. I guess they hugged and someone left the room.
“alright Alicia you can open your eyes now” dad said
“how did you know I was up?” I said opening my eyes
“your hand always twitch when your pretending to be asleep”
“how long were you here for?”
“long enough to talk to Bruno about things.”
“well what did he tell you?”
“you'll find out when your ready”
“what do you mean when I'm ready, I deserve to know now”
“Alicia, like I said when your ready”
“i'm ready now”
“I'm not going to tell you to stop acting like your mother but...”
“I'm not her”
“stop acting like her then”
There was a knock on the door “Mrs. Hernandez?” a nurse said
“yes come in” I said
“hi i'm grace and i'll be helping you nurse your babies, do you know how to breast feed?” she asked
“Not at all”
“well that's my cue to go” dad said
“Dad, stay. I don’t want to alone”
“she can't feed 2 babies at once, so you can hold the baby that’s sleep” Grace said
“OK, it looks like Joey's up” dad said
“Alrighty now you grab baby girl and mommy here will feed little Joey” Grace said.
I liked Grace, she had a sweet voice and she was very pretty. She picked up Linda and gave her to dad, then she grabbed Joey. Dad was so cute with Linda, she had his finger and he was smiling and talking to her. It was funny to see this giant of a man get so emotional over a baby, well she is his first grandchild. I smiled because I remember mama saying that that’s how he was with me.
“Ok, now put your pillow on your lap, put your elbow on the pillow, hold the baby.....”
She was teaching me how to make the baby latch on and man, it's harder than I thought. Joey would latch on but then he would go searching for my chest like he never had it in his mouth. It was frustrating because I want him to eat but he wasn't latching on right.
“This is hard” I said
“It's difficult to get them to latch on but it takes time, he's not going to learn just like that just keep trying” Grace said
“hey he got it, oh wait never mind”
“well he latched on longer, just keep trying OK?”
“are you in any pain?”
“No i'm fine, thank you nurse grace.”
“Ok, keep trying with him then try her OK?”
I nodded my head and she left the room. After a while I tried with Linda and she latched on like she was a pro but then she kept letting go. Me and dad talked for a while then he had to leave to go to work. I kept at it with the twins until they fell asleep, when the hospital phone rang. I put them both in their bins and answered the phone.
“Hello?” I said
“Oh hi Eric”
“You ready to go home, I heard you had twins congratulation”
“yeah, i'm about to be on my way there”
“How did you know what room I'm?”
“My moms a doctor there so I know a lot of things but i'm about to be on my way to come get you”
He hung up the phone before I could debate, I called my nurse so she could get me ready to leave. She made me put on this double sling to where I could hold both of the twins at the same time. She put me in a wheelchair and rolled me out of the hospital and waited for Eric to show up. About 20 minutes later Eric rolled up. He helped me into the car, signed some paper and drove off. We were driving with the radio on and I was looking around, not familiar with the scenery.
“Aren't you taking me home?” I asked
“Yeah, my home not yours.” Eric said
“Take me to My house Eric”
“Alicia you can't take care of twins by yourself, your a first time mom and i'm a first time dad”
“These are Peters babies not yours so Fuck off Eric”
“They mine as well be mine, he's not going to be taking care of them”
“That's because he's on tour with your father”
“Yeah, he chose to stay and do the tour, instead of being a father, shows you how much he loves you”
“he does love me and I was the one who told him to go”
“So what, he could of stayed”
“Singing is his passion his first love, it would be cruel to make him quit”
“He should of thought of that when he put that ring on your finger and when he found out that you were pregnant”
“Eric...you just don’t understand”
“.....So do you still love him even after what happened?”
“you don’t because you said but.”
“He hurt me so i'm allowed a but”
“It's just not right that he still gets to have you”
I didn't say anything because I don’t know how to respond. See that’s the thing with Eric, he always says things that made me think about things. I know Eric is trying to convince me to leave Bruno but even though I wanted sometime apart, I didn't want to be apart from him. But my heart is still in a million pieces. Dad was wrong, if I was mama, I would have been done with Bruno but i'm not. I just need some space right now, but I miss him terribly.
It was is as if om cue. As the radio played a song by the enemy, I know her voice anywhere. The guys was saying that the song was called Rumor Has It . I had to listen because no matter how much I hated Adele for putting Bruno and I in this situation, her voice was uniquely beautiful.
“She, she ain't real, She ain't gonna be able to love you like I will, She is a stranger, You and I have history, Or don't you remember? Sure, she's got it all, But, baby, is that really what you want?
Bless your soul, you've got your head in the clouds, You made a fool out of you, And, boy, she's bringing you down, She made your heart melt, But you're cold to the core, Now rumor has it she ain't got your love anymore ”
The Chorus was Rumor has it and that made me think. She has to be talking about me, the lyrics were just to perfectly fit in the situation that i'm in right now but I couldn't listen anymore because Linda started fussing. I shh'd her and rocked her the rest of the way to Eric's, she stopped when the car did but he didn't get out of the car.
“I just think that it'll be better if you were with me” Eric said
Woah, that was out of the blue.
“Eric, that just can’t happen” I said
I heard a noise, it sounded like....crying? Was Eric crying, damn I don’t know what to say to him. I looked at him and he had his head on the steering wheel and his hands in his hair. All those time he said he loves me I guess, he really meant it. Even though I didn't feel that way at all, I still felt bad that he was just so sad. But he has to understand that I just didn't love him, no matter how cold hearted it sounded.
He finally got out of the car and helped me into his....wow mansion. It was an all white mansion, it had to be about 2 miles long because the house was just so huge. A lady came out, she was dressed in a maids outfit. She grabbed my bags and Eric's too.
“Hello Mr. Eric” she said
“Take those up to the nursery and the room next to it” Eric said
“yes sir” she said.
She was gorgeous, with her long dark brown hair and her bright red lipstick on her pouty lips. She was very petite so she had to be about 20, She reminded me of Maria. And that's when I looked at her closer. She even had, the same mole near her eye like maria did.... oh my goodness. That was Maria's mom. I was about to open my mouth to speak to her when she shook her head no. That was Kim. How in the hell did she get here? I need answers, now.