When I walked inside, my mouth dropped. I had no idea that Eric had this much money. As soon as you walked in, there was two grand staircases with doors in the middle and a big Chandelier. When I looked to my left there was a room, it looked like a dining room., so I walk into the room and yeah. It's a dining room, with red oak tables and chairs, Tan walls with white bordered stripes up top, a china cabinet with real china ware in it. Nice china set, with the silverware all set out nice and neat. Then when I walked into the next room, it was the kitchen. Nice and big ,like the kitchen of my dreams. With top of the line everything and even potholders to match. Then I walked into another room which was the living room, everything was all white and black then I was back by the stairs again. It was like the whole downstairs was a circle and I liked that.
“Are you ready to go to your room now Alicia?” Kim said
“yes, but...” I said
“Lets go see your room now OK?”
I followed Kim upstairs, what was going on with her? I have so many questions I want to ask her but I'm still going to press the issue, but we go to a door and she stopped to turn to me.
“Don't say anything until were in the nursery” Kim said
“nursery?” I said
I just nodded my head, she opened the door to the nursery and the room was beautiful. It was all sorts of soft colors in the room. The cribs were brown and there were two of them so I laid the twins each in their own crib and tucked them in. There were 2 of everything actually, toy boxes, closets and even two rocking chairs. They had made the room like the twins were staying here forever. Kim went over and sat down onto rocking chair and put her foot up on the footstool. I did the same.
“It's been a long time Alicia, a very long time” Kim said
“yes it has” I said
“i'm guessing that you want to know why i'm here”
“yeah, I would of never thought I see you here”
“yeah well, it's a long story”
“Well basically, when I left maria at her grandmas, I was just all around the country, hopping from state to state when I met a special man in Virginia and fell in love with him. Come to find out that he was from here and he was on his way back here. I went with him, we got married and now we have a son, Em was looking for a maid and I took the job. Now i'm here”
“Wow, well i'm glad that you found love again but dose Maria know that your here?”
“No, I haven't been looking for her”
“Kim, this is your daughter were talking about”
“I know but, i'm not ready to face her yet”
“Be a woman and talk to her. She at least deserves that from you after you just up and leaving her like that”
“I had I good reason why.”
“whats a good reason to abandon your child Kim & I already know why you left and so does she.”
“Yes, that bitch of a mother of yours reminded her everyday”
“Oh....she must hate me.”
“She sure does.”
“Well, I got to get going my day is done” she said looking at her watch
“Will you be here tomorrow?”
“ absolutamente but what ever you do, don't tell Maria about me”
“Why she deserves....”
“Just let me tell her when i'm ready OK?”
“well before I leave, let me show you your room”
She stood up and I followed her into the hallway. I closed the door quietly and Kim started walking me to a room. I walked inside and it was another big room, bigger than my room at home. Everything in this room was big, I even had my own bathroom in here. The room was Burgundy, Tan & Dark gray. I walked in and Kim closed the door, I walked over into the bathroom and looked in the mirror.
Even though everything was nice and fancy, and probably comfortable more than I can imagine, I missed my home, my bed.... Bruno. What was I doing here, I should be with Bruno right about now. Sitting in the audience, supporting him and the guys but i'm not. I'm here, in Eric's house, living a lie. I want to be with Bruno so bad but Adele fucked everything up. She fucked the straight line of me and Bruno's relationship but I can't just blame all her, it was his fault too.
“hey you OK?” Eric said
I jumped “My goodness Eric you scared me” I said
“you like the room & the nursery?”
“yeah, it's Whippin but how did you manage to get a nursery with little notice”
“It used to be mine but I had some guys repaint it”
“...look i'm sorry about the out break in the car...”
“you don’t have to explain, it's ok”
“no, you just don’t understand how badly I hate him, how he just has your heart when all I have is your friendship and I want you so bad Alicia, I want the twins to be mine so bad. I just don’t understand how you can love him so much”
“ I can't explain it myself but I just love him even now in the situation were in”
“ but I would never cheat on you Alicia, I can give you everything and anything that you needed, I can love you much better than he did and I can guarantee that my love for you will only be yours”
“why do you want me so bad?”
“Because i'm in love with you Alicia, and it just makes me so mad that even if I keep saying all this lovey dopey shit, you still wont love me.”
“ I can't help how I feel Eric”
“how could you not feel for me, all i've done is love you, been a friend to you, cared for you, I’ve even had my dad sign him, I’ve done everything that I could to get to you and you still are after him!”
I closed my eyes, damn. He did it again. Making me speechless once again, I hate when he does this to me. Make me rethink of the reason why I wanted the break in the first place. Why would I take a break, what is a break going to do? It's only been a day and I cant be without him, I don’t even know why i'm here in Eric's house and not mines but everything in that house reminds me of Bruno which makes me think of Adele.....i think I'll stay here for a while.
“huh, Eric look i'm here aren't I?” I said
“ and I’ve forgiven you for what you did right?”
“We're friends right”
“so why can't you except the fact that I might be stupid but i'm in love with Bruno and that's that, why can't you be happy for me”
“Ok OK i'm sorry i'm sorry, look if you want to go home i'll....take you home”
“would you really Eric?”
“Anything to make you happy, even if I have to let you go”
“but can I at least try something?”
“all I ask for is one kiss”
“Eric i'm still married”
“Hear me out, if there's no emotion or feeling in it then...”
“I'll leave you alone with all this love talk & we'll....just...be friends.”
“...i don't know about this Eric.”
“just one, that's all I ask for”
“hearing you say that there's nothing there will let me know that we'll never be OK?”
“....Just one Kiss?”
“just one Alicia.”
I looked at him and he had the biggest smile on his face. Me on the other hand had this guilt feeling in my stomach, it was like I just agreed to cheat on Bru with the man that hates him. He put his hand on my cheek and pulled me towards him. My heart was pumping and I felt so sick, I don’t want to do this but I just want this to be over with so Eric will leave me alone. When his lips were on mine, I felt a little tingle of pleasure so I closed my eyes.
When he put his tongue in my mouth, I didn't fight it, because it felt good but all of this was because all I could picture was His cinnamon smell, his twinkling brown eyes, his soft lips, his angelic smile and the softness of his curls in my hands. This wasn't right, I was only kissing Eric because I was thinking of Bruno. I pulled away. He looked at me with a hopeful look, but I had to give him my honest opinion.
“it's OK....i'm just glad that you gave me a chance”
I gave Eric a big hug, see this is why I knew he would be a better friend that an boyfriend to me, besides the fact that when we kissed there wasn't a spark, it was the fact that he would do anything for me. He kissed my forehead and walked out the room. I went into the dresser drawers and seen my clothes put neatly away, I grabbed my silk night gown and set it out. I went into the bathroom and took a long hot shower. I got out and put curlers in my head, I looked at the counter and seen that there was a wig rack. I smiled remembering when Bruno, told me he didn't like me wearing them. I had a whole bunch of them back at home in the closet but I stopped wearing them. I liked my hair out now. I sighed.....oh Bruno.
I walked out and got on the bed, it was very comfortable with all it's plushness to it. I laid my head on the pillow and stared at the bed stand, I open the drawer and seen my note book. I turn on the lamp and pull out a pencil and begin to write.
I'm heartbroken / Feeling gloomy once again,/ Confusion on words that were said/ Shambolic on actions /that were his/ Why would you do it /Who put you up to it/ What made it OK/ For you to hurt me/this way/ What was in the mind/ When lips a pond hers at the time/ Lips that belong on mine/ & now i'm/ still here loving you/ Befuddled but I don’t want to be through/ But I just don’t know what to do with you./
That felt good. I haven't written in a while and to get that out made me feel better. I closed the notebook put it away and fall asleep.
I awoke with Eric next to me. I looked at him and he was wide wake stroking my face with his hand. I turned over to him and smiled at him, I did think that it was creepy that he watched me sleep. But it felt nice to get some type of attention after being neglected for 2 months by Bruno.
“Good Morning” he said
He smiled at me and sat up pulling me with him. He pulled me off the bed and swung me around and I started laughing at his randomness. He kissed me on my forehead, put me back on the bed and laid next to me.
“Lets have some fun today” he said
“I can't the twins” I said
“did you hear them crying last night?”
“Now that you said something I sure didn't”
“Yeah it's called s nanny”
“you hired a nanny?”
“yeah I was up with her too.”
“learning things and talking”
“Oh OK well what did you learn”
“That baby shit is the worse smelling thing in the world”
“it sure is” I said with a laugh
“So do you want to go out with me just as friends though”
“yeah that would be Whippin, I haven't gone out to have fun in a while”
“Well lets go then”
I got up to get dressed but Eric was still in the room. I looked at him and pointed to the door, he rolled his eyes and got up to leave. When he left, I opened the dresser and seen all my dresses were hanging up. I grabbed the green, gold, and white one with the black straps and put on my white flats. I went into the bathroom, took out my curlers, put on my makeup just the basic eyeliner, mascara and green n gold eye shadow & a little bit of dark red lipstick. I stepped back into the room and looked into the body mirror, you couldn't even tell that I had a belly now. My face was a little fuller from the pregnancy but I liked it, you could really see my cheeks bones now. I grabbed my purse and went to the nursery to see the twins. The nanny was rocking Linda ,who was wrapped up in a blanket, and Joey was sleeping, the nanny looked up and smiled at me. She was an older lady, she looked like she was in her late 40's but very sweet looking. She had pale skin & blond finger waves with pale blue eyes.
“Hello ” she said
“Hey, was Linda giving you problems” I asked
“No, she just likes to look around, i'm Agatha”
“i know who you are, Eric told me you had these beautiful babies”
“Yes, I did” I said with a smile
I walked over to Agatha and put my hands out to hold Linda. Oh my baby girl couldn't look more like her father but with my lips. I sat down in the other rocking chair and held her, she had the same sweet look on her face when her dad was singing. I let her hold my finger and she gripped it with her eyes looking into mine. Joey must of heard my voice because he woke up too, Agatha got up and grabbed him.
“Well some ones hungry, here you feed joey while I put Linda to sleep.” Agatha said
I gave Linda a kiss and Agatha switched babies with me, joey was fussy with his mouth wide open looking for milk. I pulled out and began to feed him, he latched on very well which was a relief.
After about 20 minuted Linda went to sleep and joey was full and opened his eyes. Twins as they looked the same, but joey was hyper like his dad. I could tell. Oh Bruno, I wish he was here to see this.
“Hey, I thought you would be in here” Eric said opening the door
“i just wanted to see the twins before we left” I said
“Yeah they are wonderful” Agatha said
“well if your hungry there is breakfast down stairs” Eric said
“i'm not that hungry” I said
“Ok well let me take joey from you and you get going” Agatha said
She laid Linda down, I gave joey a kiss then she grabbed him too. I felt bad that I was about to go besides taking care of him but Agatha just gave me a look and I walked out the room. Went downstairs with Eric and out the door we went. We got into the car and Drove off to where ever we were going.
We arrived at a place, it was full of stores. Eric stopped the car and looked at me with a smile on his face.
“today is all about you” Eric said
“oh really” I said
He didn't say anything next, he just opened the door and opened my door and pulled me out. We shopped until my fingers were numb. I haven't had this most fun in a long time, trying on clothes and modeling was something i'm supposed to do with Bruno but, he wasn't here. I was here with, Eric and you know it wasn't all that bad. Eric was sweet and he was honest and a good friend but I just had a feeling about him that. I couldn't shake, it was like there was just something off about all of this. We went back to Eric's and I put all of the clothes away in my room. I went to go check on the twins, Agatha was sleep in the chair and Linda n Joey was sleep right along with her. I walked in and gave them both a kiss and closed the door.
I went back to my room and turned on the radio in the bathroom and started to take a shower.
“Ok, All you cats out here you asked for it, here is Adele's Take it all” the radio guy said
Didn't I give it up,Tried my best,Gave you everything I had,Everything and no less,Didn't I do it right?,To let you down,Maybe you got too used to,For having me around,Still how can you walk away,From my tears,It's going to be an empty road,Without me right here...”
Listening to the words, it seemed like she was singing my life. It was like she knew all that I went through. I didn't like her but I continued to listen to the song.
“But go on and take it,Take it all with you,Don't look back,At this crumbling fool,Just take it all with my love,Take it all,Maybe I should leave,To help you see,Nothing is better then this,And this everything we need,So is it over,Is it really,You're giving up so easily,I thought you loved me more than this...”
The song continued but I couldn't listen anymore. The flash back of them too kissing came back to mind and the tears started to fall from my eyes, why just why would he do this to me. I gave him everything, all of me, even started a family with him and threw it all away for what! I stayed in the shower until the water was cold and stepped out. I wrapped the towel around me and walked into the room.
Eric was on my bed, just laying there with his hands behind his hands n eyes closed. I dropped my towel, grabbed a silk night gown and put it on, not caring if Eric looked or not, because like Adele said, maybe I should leave. Maybe I should move on with someone who was willing to love me. I turned around and he patted on the bed. I crawled on top of the bed and laid next to him, he rubbed his thumb on my face and smiled.
“you have a good time?” Eric asked
“Yes, thank you” I said
“Your welcome, anything for you and Linda and Joey”
We didn't say anything for a while,we just stared at each other. He was staring back at me when he licked his lips. I put my head down, because Bruno dose that when he was in a mood.
“Look, Eric I know that....” I said
“Shh...” he said
He put his hand on my face and pulled it up. Those hazel eyes bore into my face, looking back and forth from one eye to another. I took a deep breath and leaned towards him...
“Mr. Eric there's someone on the phone for you” Kim said
“DAMN DOESEN'T ANYONE KNOCK!” Eric screamed
“Oh...i'm sorry sir it's just that they said it was very important something about PGH” Kim said
“Did they say Pittsburgh?”
“Alicia please hold that thought, i'll be right back love”
I just shook my head and he kissed me on my forehead. He got up and walked out the room grabbing Kim by her arm and pulling her. I heard a door slam, then a scream so I got up to see what was going on. I opened the door only to see Kim on the floor down the hall with her hand on her face. I ran over to her and helped her up. Her big brown eyes were watering and staring into mine, God she looked just like Maria. The side of her face was red and I opened my mouth to speak but she shook her head and just hugged me and walked downstairs. I heard Eric yelling something and put my head to the door to listen
“What do you mean you can't do it anymore...........no I don’t care you better keep at it.........you can't just go home...Fuck no!......because I'm almost there to....yes but......i don’t care.....DON'T FUCK THIS UP......I don’t GIVE TWO FUCKS....DON'T FUCK UP MY MONEY.....YOU BETTER NOT.... do what I told you to do Adele or else.”
A Phone slammed. Why was he talking to Adele. Why was she calling him and what was going on. I heard movement and ran back into my bedroom, laid on my bed like I never left and closed my eyes. I heard Eric come into the room, get into the bed with me and kiss me on my lips. He pulled me close to him. I laid here thinking about what he said but then I found myself drifting to sleep.