“Jac! Open this fucking door now before I break it!” I yell. He’s locked the door. Prat. He slowly opens the door with a huge grin on his face “how can I help?” “you can go to hell that’s what you can do” I say as I walk in. “How do you expect me to let him go for a month! A whole month Jac, thats nor fair and you know it” “sweetie. Life isn’t fair” I could just punch him now. Or worse. “so you’re really gonna make me stay here whilst he’s gone in London?” “that’s the idea” “I quit! Fuck you” “you can’t quit” “and why not!?” “because sweety, you’re contracted, you should learn to read papers before you sign them you dumb bitch” “im not contracted to you personally” “no. But you’re contracted to the stereotypes production team, which has already booked the Katy Perry studio session. If YOU leave. Then YOU’RE giving us a bad name. You couldn’t do that could you Lex?” he comes closer to me. I back away, I know what he’s getting at. Defeated. I finally say “so there’s no way I can go with him?” “No” “please?” “No” and with that I leave. The thing is. I want him to go. He needs to go to get the experience, it’ll help him with his producing and it’ll give him some money. I can’t tell him not to go. I can’t be that selfish. I need to be strong. I walk outside for a smoke and Bruno comes rushing up to me. “what did he say!?” “looks like you’re going to London. Alone” “baby not for a whole month, how am I gonna cope!?” I can’t look in to his eyes. If I do then I’ll melt and I need to stay strong. “you’ll be fine, I know it” and I light my cigarette. Bruno takes it from me and full on kisses me. Whilst kissing the tears start to roll down my face, I can’t help it. I’m going to miss him so much. And.l what if he finds some British bitch and falls in love with her? I’m nothing special an he’s amazing. I don’t want to lose another boyfriend. Especially not Bruno. He pulls away and starts to wipe my tears. Which is pointless because more just keep rolling down. “shhhh, stop crying. It’ll be ok. I promise” he says to comfort me. He hugs me and says “I just won’t go” “NO! You cant say that! You have to go, we both know you have to go” “I don’t wanna do anything to make you upset, seeing you like this is killing me inside” I’m being selfish. I wipe my eyes dry take deep breaths and say “I love you. That’s all that matters right?” “and I love you, so SO much” “at least we have tonight” he looks away from me “oh god, what is it?” he says in a low whisper “we leave tomorrow. 2am” but tomorrow 2am means we don’t have much time at all!! I don’t even know what I’m doing, but I pull Bruno inside and take him in to the toilets. I’ve always wanted to do this with him. “ohhh shit” he says when he realises what I want. We’re like animals in there. I’m sure people can hear us but I really don’t give a fuck. I sit Bruno down on the toilet seat. I close it first obviously. And this time. I get on top……. “no sex for a month, baby how’re you gonna cope?” Bruno jokes as we get changed. “me? I think the question is how are you gonna cope not having all this” and I point to myself. He nods in agreement. “you’re right, I’m gonna go mad” and he grabs me and kisses me again. I know exactly what he wants and I’m more than happy to give it to him. “LEX GET THE FUCK OUT!! I GOTTA PEE AND IM SICK OF HEARING Y’ALLS SEX NOISES!!” oh god. They heard us. “Hey Mid, who was louder?” Bruno yells. “y’all were both pretty loud, but I think you were louder because lex was on top” “how did you know I was on top!?” “I guessed. Now I know it’s true. NOW GET OUT!!!” “fine” and we leave. “y’all made a messsss” “shut up Mid” “Baby we need to get you packed” “won’t take long. I don’t have much stuff anyway” my heart breaks at that. “right, lets go!” “where?” “shopping duhh, we gotta get you some new threads, can’t have my boyfriend looking trampish in England now can we?” “oh and I look trampish?” “urgh, just come on…..” and I pull him in to my car and take him shopping. He resists at first but he eventually gets in to it. I buy Bruno a bunch of new jeans, tops, fedoras, a new pair of converses and vans and a bunch of checkered shirts. “Baby let’s get you some sunglasses!” “no, you’ve bought me enough already, dinner is on me by the way” “ok, but just this last thing!” “fine, but nothing too expensive” and I pull him in to a sunglass shop. I know exactly what ones I wanna get him. “RAY BANS!? baby these are too expensive, I can’t let you get these” “just try them on” and I hand him a pair of black wayfarer Ray Bans. He puts them on and his sex appeal just raised 1000% if that’s even possible. “Lex, these are amazing. They look perfect on me. Baby stop staring” was I doing it again!? Damn “Baby these make you look so damn sexy” “really” “yeah, it’s turning me on right now just looking at you. In fact. I don’t want you wearing these in England. Take them off, let’s get you another pair……” “don’t be silly, I really like these though” I genuinely don’t want him to wear them in England. But he likes them so I have no choice. “ok, I’ll buy them” and I peck him on the lips, only a peck because I’m finding it hard to control myself at the moment. “Ok. So we got. Tops, bottoms, shoes, hats, underwear and these sexy glasses. I think you’re all sorted, you need anything else?” he thinks for a while and says “yeah, just one more thing” he hugs me from behind and whispers “smile” and takes a picture on his phone. Which is a really crappy one, I should buy him a new one. “a picture?” I say confused. “yeah, I don’t have a picture of us together or a picture of you for that matter. Now I can see your beautiful face everyday” And I watch him set it as his background. I make a mental note to take a sexy picture of me later and send it to him. “you want me to buy you a new phone too? Yours looks like it’s had better days” “I wouldn’t be able to work a new phone anyway, remember? I suck at technology and anyway I’m hungry, let’s eat!” we go and eat. Bruno orders everything off the menu and eats every small scrap. “baby if I got fat would you still fuck me?” He says between bites. Ahhh he does make me smile. “well, could we have sex with the lights off?” “sure” “then maybe, but you’re already pudgy anyway, but I like you like this. Chunky Bruno” “thankyou baby” and he shovels more food in. “but seriously though, would you? Emma always said I ate too much an she didn’t wanna be around me if I became a fatty, I didn’t care. I mean I love food” “are you seriously asking me this? Baby, I fell in love with your voice first. Remember? I fell in love with your personality next. You can’t fall in love with just looks. I mean I’m not gonna lie. The looks are a bonus, but I love you for you” he smiles like a fool showing all of his perfect white teeth which instantly makes me smile too. I don’t know how I’m gonna cope when he leaves.
Just sitting with Bruno on his lap counting down the hours until he leaves. 1 hour until we have to leave for the airport. My heart feels like it’s about to break. But I haven’t cried in a while. I can’t let myself down in front of Bruno. I’m sure this is just as hard for him as it is for me, I hope. What if he’s happy about leaving me and going to London, what of he wants to meet new people, new girls…. “Baby what are you thinking about?” he can read me so well. I love him so much. “I was just thinking about you leaving” “why are you so scared about me leaving?” how does he know I’m worried “scared?” “you know what I mean Lex” I might as well tell him, it’s good to talk about things. In a low whisper I say “I’m scared that you’re gonna leave me for someone better in London and you won’t wanna come back to me” he throws his head back and smiles. I made him happy with what I just said!? My heart starts to rip apart until he says “you’ll never understand my deep uncontrollable love for you will you? Baby I told you. Yes. There are beautiful girls all over the world. I could chase them but they have absolutely nothing on you! You’re the one I want to spend my life with. Not some other girl, baby I love you. Only you. It will always be YOU” again he’s made me speechless. How can I respond to that? “You don’t need to reply to that, just show me how much you love me now” and we have sex on the couch. It’s different this time though. In the toilets earlier today it was more raw, intense, wild animal sex. We both know that this time will be the last for an entire month. Bruno takes his time with every inch of my body, he takes control and I happily let him. As he drives up to the airport in my car it’s uncomfortably quiet. He turns the radio on. “one day theyre gonna play your songs on here” I say to lighten the mood. “Hopefully. And I know what song I want to be my first” “really? What song?” “Just The Way You Are. The first song I wrote for you” “baby, how many songs have you written for me?” “a couple” “can I hear them?” “when the time is right, or should I say when I’ve written them properly” Damn him. “I’m gonna miss you” I tell him as I grab his hand not looking at him. He deeply inhales an says “yeah I know baby. I’m gonna miss you too. I’m gonna miss you so much it’s gonna kill me inside” he says the last part as a whisper and I know. From this point on. It’s going to be so hard to go a month without him. As we reach the airport, we get out and meet Phil and Ari waiting outside the airport. Bruno grabs my hand and never let’s go and we walk in silence up to the point where I can’t go with them anymore. “right. You’ve got the money that the studio gave you all right?” I confirm with Phil. “yep we got it, all £200 worth” “that’s seriously not gonna be enough for you three. Baby if you need anymore money I’m just a phone call away and I’ll send you over my card details, you got it?” “we’ll be fine, how much money are we really gonna spend anyway” “Bruno. I’ve seen the way you eat. Just promise me you’ll call me if you new any ok?” “I promise” I’d give him my card and details now but I know he won’t accept it, I just hope he’ll call me. The woman calls Bruno’s flight number and says its the last call and he needs to go to the gate. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. He’s really going to leave me now for a whole month. My breathing starts to get faster and I try my hardest to stop the tears. Bruno strokes my hand which he hasn’t let go of since we left the car and I see his face change. I wipe the tears away and try to stay strong. But I can’t. This is the most difficult thing I’ve ever had to do. Bruno lets the guys go through security check and he turns and looks at me directly in the eyes. I wish he wouldn’t do that. I can’t control my reactions when he looks at me with such love. Then what he says shocks some sencr in to me “Baby. I don’t want to go. Let’s go home” “what!? Are you crazy or something!? Baby you can’t do that. Especially not for me, I can’t let you” “Lex. I can’t go a whole month without seeing you! I’ll go mad. I don’t want to feel like that, baby. I don’t want to do that” poor thing, he’s scared and rambling, I need to calm him down. I take my hand and place it on his face and he closes his eyes and leans his head in to it. “Bruno. This is going to be hard for the both of us. But we both love eachother and I’ll be here when you get back” he smiles. “you promise?” “on my life” “I’ll call you everyday” “erm, how about I call you? It’ll be kinda pricy for you to call from London” “you’re worth every penny” “Hurry up and say goodbye to your hot girlfriend, we got a plane to catch!! London baby!!” Ari yells. Bruno leans in and kisses me. I don’t know how long we actually kiss for but I just don’t want to let go. “Hey Brunooo!! Stop having in direct sex in the airport” Phil yells. We both pull away “I love you Lexii” I try to hold back the tears of utter love and say “I love you Bruno” and I watch him walk away, how am I gonna cope…….. I love her so much, she’s my everything. And even though I haven’t known her for that long. Something just feels right. Just before I go through the final gate, I turn around and blow a kiss to my beautiful Lexii and leave for London. A whole month without her. How am I
We touch down in London Town. Hmmm, I should write a song like that. And we get to this amazing 5*hotel and go up to our room. I can’t help but think about how I’m already missing Lex, should I call her now? No. Maybe later, I don’t want to scare her off. But then again I miss her so bad. I light a cigarette and I take out my phone to dial. “hey Brunz, you should drop call her, the charges are gonna blow your face off when we get back” “I don’t care, she’s worth it……. exactly how much is it gonna cost?” “a lot” ok, I decide to drop call lex, I let it ring twice and put the phone down. Instantly she calls back. “Hey sexy” I answer “hey hot stuff, how was it?” “long and hard” I joke with her “I meant the flight” “oh yeah, that was the same too, I miss you” “I miss you too, but you’ll be back in 30 days, and don’t forget to tell me everything that happens” “of course, I gotta go now, Phil and Ari are ushering me out the door for food” “I love you” “I love you too Lex, so much” and she puts the phone down. I don’t think she’ll ever understand how much I really love her. Oh God I miss her so bad, I just want to have her in my arms and hold her. And fuck her. Nothing is worth this pain, why am I even here? “Bruno let’s go!” and Ari pulls me out the door. “Orange juice is £10!? The fuck!” I say to Phil. “and an English breakfast is £22!? How the fuck are we gonna survive on £200 for a whole month!?” “well, I suppose we have the bank of Lexii” Ari suggests. “no, we’re not using her money out here. No way” “ok, but I was just suggesting” “take your suggestion and shove it up your ass” “awwwhh Bruno. That really hurt” I love these two. I don’t know where I’d be without them. Phil orders one plate of food and one glass of juice for the three of us. “excuse me sir, what’s this?” and I point to this sausage looking thing on the plate. “oh it’s like a sausage, you guys have it in America just try it” I take a bite and spit it back out, it tastes like shit! “what the hell is in that!?” “well it’s marinated sausage meat” “what’s it marinated in?” I ask scared. “pigs blood” and with that we get out of that place. Who seriously eats pigs blood!? Maybe I could write a song about that. I seem to write songs about everything these days…… “yo Phil! I’m starved” “yeah me too, let’s find a mc Donalds or something” “you know what? I hate having to worry about money all the time. I just wanna be a billionaire” then it hits me. I stop walking and sing “I wanna be a billionaire so fucking bad” an Phil sings back “buy all of the things I never had” fuck yes! We high five and continue ad libbing random words as we walk up to the studio. Ahhh the studio. It always makes me think of Lex, it’s gonna be weird being in one without her, and I’ll never forget how we had sex in the bathroom and actually in the studio. She’s so hot and sexy, God she turns me on all the time. I try to push her to the back of my mind and walk in. God I miss her so much. We walk in and see this beautiful tanned curly haired blonde girl with bright red lipstick on. She’s not wearing much but she’s breath taking. “Hi, I’m Roxy”