I pop up off the couch hearing knock at the door. Made my heart jump but I walk over to the door anyways.
“Who is it?” I asked
“It's me baaaby” Bruno said
“Are you drunk?”
“Naw baaaby, I just had a shot for the pain & a little drag for my sorrow”
“So, your drunk & high Bruno”
“Naaw, Oh en the door”
I swing open the door, Bruno had a bottle of jack in his hand and was swaying his head a little. He was drunk. His fedora was on backwards and he was sweating like a pig, I pulled him in the house and he stumbled in almost knocking over the table. He stopped at the living room and slumped at the door frame. Taking a swing from his bottle, I closed the door and walked over to him.
“Awh Baaby, you know I Bruno” he said slurring his words
“Peter, where did you go?”
“I went to the baar Baby”
“Yeah, I can smell it, but you smell like whiskey”
“I ran out of that, now i'm working on My other friend here”
….Bruno, I want to talk to you about us”
“Aaaw baaby not now”
“Yes, this is important I feel like...”
“Ya killing my buzz here Alicia”
“Peter, don’t you...”
“Shuut uup Aliciaa”
He stumbled over to the couch and sat down, he took another swing. I leaned on the door frame and folded my arms. I’ve never seen him drunk before, he looked at me, taking another swing, eyes all red and droopy. He was all sweaty and he smelled so bad of whiskey, I couldn't even smell his cinnamon cologne.
Frustrated, I walked upstairs into the bedroom and sat on the bed. Bruno had followed me and tried to sit on the chair but he missed and fell. He laid on his back and started to laugh, taking another swig I started to get angry. Any other time it would have been funny but I was in no laughing matter.
“Peter, We need to talk” I said
“God, Here we goo” he said
“Look, I’ve noticed, We've been going, through some changes...like were in different places, and now you think you can do what you do. With out any consequences... ”
“Uugh, I don't want to heeer thiis all yoou alllls wan talk”
“You never talk!”
“Yesss I doo, keep your voice down, here have some” he said handing me the bottle
I pushed the bottle away “No peter, it's not what you say but what you don't say” I said
“Jeeze I caan nev have youur fuckin approval of anythin I doo”
“It's not what you do it's what you but what you don't do Peter!”
“WHAAT THEN ALICIAA? DO YOU WANT ME TO LEAVE, DO YOU WANT TO LEAVE?”
“IT'S NOT WHERE WE GO BUT WHERE WE DON'T GO! GOSH IT'S LIKE, I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU ANYMORE!”
I stood up and walked around the room, calming myself down, I leaned on the wall and balled my fist. Bruno straggly got up off the floor, took another swig and stared at me but I closed my eyes. I felt the tears a coming, I tried to fight them but I lost.
“You know what you are to me? You're just a stranger, a fucking stranger and I don't recognize you no more Peter. You used to be so loving and friendly but now, you're always angry and more closed up than ever....What happened to the man that you we're before?”
“What do you want me to do?”
“Stay because i'm not going to chase after you”
I turn towards him so that he could see me, this was me putting all of me on the table, right here before him. He didn't say anything as I looked at him and the tears started to fall off my eyes even faster now. His face started to blur up and I knew he was going to leave if I didn't say what I needed to say to him.
“I know, I’ve haven't been the best, wife or lover but this was going to change. Right now. I'm so sick of this, we always argue and I know....i know that I don't say the sweetest thing but i'm not the only one with the problem”
“I ave lots of prooblems, that's aallll I hear froom yoou Alicia”
“Look, the only thing I want from you is for you to open up to me”
He put the bottle of jack down and walked over towards me. He leaned against the wall but was in front of me. He was in my face with his head down, he smelled so bad. It was like he took a bath in liquor then brushed his teeth in liquor.
He looked at me, with watery eyes, he opened his mouth but closed it. My eyes looked back and forth between his eyes, pleading for him to say something. He wiped a tear from my face.
“Bruno, talk to me”
“Don't let the liquor talk for you, talk to me Bruno. As you”
I heard him balling his fist, he closed his eyes once again and he kept shaking his head. He sat up and opened his mouth then he let out a scream scaring me and punched the wall.
“I CAN'T....I can't...”
The tears started coming again but this time for the both of us, I walked towards Bruno but he shook his head no, wiped his eyes,he grabbed the bottle of jack and stumbled out the room. Even though I said I wouldn't, I chased after him.
He ran down the stairs, but I ran after him, screaming his name, screaming stay but he kept going. Opening the door, he stops and I grab his arm. I can hear him, I can feel him but he's pushing me away. He yanks his arm and runs towards his bike, hopping on and driving off without looking back.
I open the closet door and grab a bat, running into the living room I pick up the bat and swing. Smashing the pictures on the wall, smashing the coffee table, & smashing the Television. I pick up all three of our wedding pictures, throw them on the ground. I sit on the couch and stare at them, looking at how happy we were. Smash them will all my might because our relationship is cracked & my heart is smashed.
I open my eyes & see dad standing over me. I sit up and look around, I guess I fell asleep but I don’t even remember closing my eyes. Dad has Linda on his shoulder & she's just staring at me with her big ole brown eyes.
“Hey Angel” Dad says
“Hey...Dad...How did you get in?” I ask
“You always hide the key under the mailbox”
“Oh, yeah I sure do”
“Uh, Yeah. I'm fine. Your brought the kids back I see”
“Yeah, they were getting mommy sick”
“Awh, Where's Joey?”
“I laid him in his crib, he's sleeping, but Alicia me and you need to talk”
“Ok, about what?”
Linda started rubbing her eyes & started making that noise. When she got sleepy, she would make a whiny noise and rub her little eyes. She leaned forward and I grabbed her, kissing her forehead and rocking her.
She laid her head on my shoulder, still making her noise, I laid down on the couch with Linda on my stomach. I put my fingers through her hair, Looking down at my daughter. Damn dose she have her fathers eyes. Big & brown, kinda like a puppy. They just draw you in. everything about her is him, the way she laughs, how she thinks, she the girl version of him. I feels my eyes well up and swallow the tears.
“What the hell happened in here?” Dad asked
“Nothing” I said
“...I...I just couldn't take it anymore”
“Angel, what's going on between you two?”
“...Honestly, I don't even know dad. I really don't know”
Dad sighs and sits on the edge of the couch. I move my feet so he can have more room for him to sit. He starts rubbing his eyes and I know that he's trying not to get upset, I look at his temples and see little curls of Grey, He finally looks at me with those sad eyes of his. Dad's getting old but his eyes are so young, I could tell. Even with the sadness in his eyes, he put my feet on his lap and took off my shoes.
“Angel, Did Bruno put his hands on you?” he asked
“No, he would never” I said
“Well then, why is there pieces of glass everywhere?”
“Because, this is how I feel. Shattered.”
“Dad, I really don't...”
“....Just let me handle it OK?”
“Well, when you did that, the house ends up in a thousand pieces”
“Woah, you must be mad at him if your calling him peter.”
“Well, what happened?”
“...I'm just, so tired of being pushed away.”
“Oh, he's one of those.”
“A Lockbox, someone who keeps emotions to his self.”
“I mean I don’t understand. He talks about you all the time.”
“Yeah but that's it. He wont talk about him, I mean I love him to death because of the present but I know nothing of his past.”
“You ever tried to talk it out of him?”
“Yeah but, he always clamps up or he'll get mad if I keep pressing the issue...”
“Or he'll leave.”
“You ever just try to talk about you and your past & see if he'll come out?”
“Well maybe, his past is really painful to talk about”
“It cant be that painful.”
“You don't know what he went through”
“....That's true...but I just want him to talk to me, not for me to find out everything through someone else. Last night dad, I let it all out. I put my heart out, without the attitude or anything and he just stormed out.”
“Did, he have tears in his eyes?”
I closed my eyes and thought back to yesterday. He did, he did have tears in his eyes. Like he was trying but...i don't know. I open my eyes and look at my dad and nod. He nod's back and grabs now sleeping Linda and goes upstairs to lay her down in her crib.
I look around and see the damage that I’ve done. The television was sparking and you could see the inside of it. There was glass all over the carpet from the coffee table, the bat had glass shards stuck in it. I look down and pick up the picture of us kissing out of the glass. There was love there but now, I'm not even sure what we are. We're going through something I guess you can say but if he didn't come back....
“Here, take a broom and dustpan and i'll pick up the big pieces.” dad said
“Ok.” I said
“Turn on the radio.”
I turn the radio on and we started to clean. Dad started to do the dishes and I started to clean up the glass all. Picking up each and every piece kind of made me feel better. It made me feel like I was, fixing something, fixing me.
We started dancing and humming along with the radio and I felt good ya know. Like everything was going to be OK. For once I smiled, it felt weird but it felt good.
Sweeping up the last piece of glass and vacuuming the rest up, Everything was clean. I look over and dad just go done with the kitchen and he smiled at me. I smiled back, when there was a knock in the door.