How is it that wherever I am or whenever I’m happy he has to be there and bring me down.
“Hey Felicity. Havent seen you in a long time. What its been 5 months now?”
Urghhh.. fuck you. It’s been 6 months and he damn well knows it.
“Why are you here Kameron? You don’t live on this side of town?”
“Yeah well I just wanted to come. Meeting a few friends if its any of your business.”
Shut the fuck up. He chats so much shit that a word of truth forbids itself to come out of his mouth. I sit down towards the back of the bus, around the same place I met Bruno. Bruno. I actually forgot I was going to see him with me being caught up with all this Kameron drama. He needs to go fuck himself even though he’s overly sexy. Urghhh.. why is it so hard for me to get over him? He’s just a guy right? But he was my first. My first love. First kiss. First time and all.
I try hard to ignore him by putting in my headphones and blasting my music on maximum volume. It seems to be working but him turning around every 2 fucking minutes to look at me is pissing me off. This time he just stares.
“What the fuck Kameron? You’re creeping me out!”
“Oh. I know.”
“THEN CUT IT THE FUCK OUT MAN!!” I kind of forgot we were on a public bus with other passengers on there.
“Is everything okay ma’am? Is this gentleman bothering you?” A middle-aged man said. I really wanted to say ‘Yes sir. He is bothering me. Just before, he tried hitting me!’ But then again I couldn’t. Even if it was Kameron.
“No sir, he isn’t. Just very annoying.” I mumbled the last part for only Kam to hear. Why the fuck did I just call him ‘Kam’ for? FRIENDS call each other nicknames. The fuck!?
“Okay then ma’am. Have a nice day.” He gave Kameron the death stare just before turning around again.
Psshhhhh.. have a nice day my ass!
After a while of silence, Kameron decides to break it.
“Where are you off to then?”
“Highstreet.” I answers in a few words to show that I wasn’t up for his bullshit. And plus I didn’t wanna give away too much info.
“Me too actually. Fancy that!” He tried to sound interested but that really wasn’t the case.
“I don’t remember asking where you were going.”
“Hey that’s not fair. I was trying to be nice. Can you at least try and be nice back?”
“Life’s not fair babes. Deal with it. And no. I can’t.” And with that I put both my headphones in. I seriously wasn’t in the mood for him. But he was going to be going to the highstreet with me. Fuck my life. Life really isn’t fair isn’t it.
The stop bell of the bus rang bringing me out of my thought track. It was Kameron. Were we really on he highstreet already? I checked my phone. It was 5:35. Five minutes late? Not bad.
I got off the bus walking behind Kameron just to see where he was heading. Not to be stalkery or anything.
HELL TO THE FUCKING NO!!! He walked straight into the Marvin’s Music I swear to god. What did I do to deserve this?
He walks into the store and doesn’t notice I’m right behind him. I quietly walk into the shop and stand by the entrance watching everyone greet Kameron.
“Hey Kam. What up Dawg?” Phil says as he gives him a half handshake half man-hug type of thing as he replies.
“Nothing much man. Just bumped into old friends. Nothing special.”
Nothing special? Damn, his words hit me hard. After he was the one trying to make small talk. I just wanna go up to him and smack the crap out of him but no one knows I’m here so I play it cool.
“Hey! I thought I heard voices!”
Bruno. Damn he looks so sexy.
Shit. Did I just say that out loud?
“Fayy! When did you arrive?”
Kameron seriously needs to stop calling me by my real name. It’s embarrassing! I completely ignore him and focus on Bruno.
“I just arrived actually.” Seeing Bruno did make my mood better but like I said ‘How is it that wherever I am or whenever I’m happy he has to be there and bring me down’
“You know Bruno? You never said-“
“You never asked.” I said coldly. All the guys watched us intently. It was awkward. And I do what I always do in these moments. Crack jokes.
“Oii guys. Your butts glued to the chair or something? Show me some love man!”
Phil, Kenji, Phredley and Jamareo get up from the sofa and hug me. I sideways glance at Kameron and he looks pissed off that I’m hugging them. That’s what he deserves. After me and the guys release from our embrace I turn to look at Bruno. He’s wearing a red and black plaid shirt with black skinny jeans and black and white Chucks. Damn he looks hot! He stares at me for a while opens his arms out for me to hug. I gladly except and smell Lynx on him. Wow that just suddenly made him seem more attractive. As we release, we start talking to ease the tension in the room a little.
“So how are you Fayy? First day of school go okay? I told my guys to look after you. They did right?”
“HaHaHaHa you’re starting to sound like my mom. And yes, the guys did take care of me. They were the brothers I never had”
“HaHaHaHaHaHa now that’s what I like to hear.”
“Okay enough of the chit-chat guys. We’re here to play music and show Fayy what we’re made of right?” Jamareo said while standing up from the sofa. The guys replied with a mixture of ”HELL YEAH’s” “UH HUH”s” “YOU DAMN RIGHT’s”
“So get up off of your ass’s man! Everything’s set up!”
“Okay dude chill!” Bruno said as he made his way to the mini stage towards the back of the store. This place was really impressive. It had EVERYTHING. When I mean everything, I mean the whole lot. From electric guitars to dijjery-doos and from keyboards to triangles. This place is a musician’s dream.
The guys start to double check the instruments Bruno walk up to the mic.
“This is to my girl Fayy! Out there in the sea of women out to see me perform today. Wave to me Fayy. I can’t see you over all the ‘I <3 Bruno’ banners. Fayy wave!” HaHaHaHaHa… this boy is just too funny! Him saying that when I’m the only other person in the room. OhMyGod! I wave just to shut him up.
“Okay so I’m gonna perform one of my own songs. Hope you like it Fayy!” Omg the way he says my name just kills me a little more inside.
He starts to sing.
I feel higher than the ceiling,
Cause’ I’m floating on this feelin’,
So long my feet have been up off the floor,
Destiny is what I call it,
My heart’s for sale and girl you bought it,
The moment that you walk right through the door, ooh
Till the day that I stop livin’,
Girl my love I won’t stop givin’,
Cross my heart and hope to die my love is yours,
And I pray girl that this feelin’,
Is something that we always feelin’,
If you’re with it girl,
Hear me girl,
This is what I’ll do….
Wow! OhMyGod. I’m standing there in complete shock and awe. I never knew he was THAT good. Damnnn.. makes me and my songwriting feel like shit even though he hasn’t heard it yet.
Damn. I really got to stop staring. But I can’t help it. My mouth is wide open and catching flies. Shit I gotta stop. The band’s awesome too. The guys are killing it on the instruments but Kameron is just there staring at me whilst playing his electric guitar. He’s watching stare at Bruno. I wish he’d stop doing that. It’s making me uncomfortable.
On the other hand, Bruno’s winking at me throughout the whole song making me giggle and blush. I wish he’d stop doing that too. No actually I don’t. Kameron obviously doesn’t like so I’ll just carry on with this flirt fest. Not to annoy Kameron. Obviously.
They finish the song.
“OhMyGod Bruno that was AMAZING!!! You guys are seriously gonna make it HUGE in LA.” I say as he jumps down from the stage platform.
“Well thanks. That means a lot you know. Especially coming from a talented singer such as yourself.” Wow. He’s such a flirt. It’s attractive in almost every way. I’m just standing there grinning like a fool. And Kameron fucks up the mood.
“Umm hello? Felicity? Yeah, sorry to break this disgusting love fest but Fayy, I didn’t know you sang?”
I give him the dirtiest look my face comes up with and reply smartly.
“Well obviously you didn’t care enough to notice my dreams Kameron. It’s was always about you. Ignorant cunt.” The tension was so thick you could slice it into chunks with a butchers knife.
“The fuck is up with you two!? It’s like you two dated or something?”
Phredley. Dopey shit.
“Wanna answer that Kam? Since you think It’s okay to interrupt everything that isn’t your business.” I was so pissed off. Nothing could bring me back to normal again.
“Fayy? Are you okay?” Bruno asked as he touched my shoulder.
“Don’t touch me.” I replied coldly shrugging his hand off. I walked through the store towards the back emergency exit. I walked out and the warm Hawaiian air hit me in the face. It cooled my emotions down. I sat down on a bench outside drowning in my thoughts.
“What the fuck dude?” I ask Kameron who obviously knows more than anyone else in this situation.
“Nothing man.” He says looking to the floor.
“Well that didn’t look like nothing. It looked like she would’ve beat the shit outta you if she never walked out. Count yourself lucky dude.” Phil says as he looks Kameron in the eye. “Dude, what’s going on?”
“Maybe you should ask her since you’re all best friends and shit! I’m out Dawg!” And with that he left. Without a proper answer. Now I’m starting to get pissed.
“What the fuck is going on Phil?”
“I don’t know bro. I think you should go to her, she might need you.”
I nodded to him and made my way to the back of the store, taking a deep breath before pushing down the emergency exit handle bar to leave.
I felt tears streaming down my face. My cheeks were red with anger but mostly hurt and embarrassment. I heard the door behind me open and footsteps making their way towards me. I didn’t know who it was but I had a pretty good idea.
“Can you sit with me?” I don’t know why I wanted him with me but I guess I was feeling vulnerable. He sat down beside me. I lay my head into his shoulder and closed my eyes. He ran his fingers through my hair as I listened to the sound of his heartbeat. It was pumping fast.
“Why are you nervous?”
“What? Nawwh… I ain’t nervous.”
“Oh please Bruno. I can hear your heartbeat.”
We sat in silence for a while listening to the wind blowing through the trees. It was a beautiful moment.
“Whenever you’re in need of a friend, I’m always gonna be there for you alright?” What on earth was he getting at?
“Yeah. Sure Bruno.”
“Yeah so you can call me anytime. Day or night and I’ll be there. You can count on me.” He said with the cockiest smile. I’ll play along. I know what he wants.
“I haven’t got your number Bruno or you haven’t got mine.”
I saw a glimmer of hope in his chestnut brown eyes.
“Here..” he handed me his BlackBerry and I quickly typed my number in and saved it.
“There you go you’ve got my number now, happy? And don’t even think about publicizing it or what not!”
He laughed his insanely contagious laugh. We sat there in silence before he said something.
“You know, I kinda clocked that something was going on between you and Kam since the second he saw us talking in the shop.”
He just had to say something didn’t he? I knew he was gonna bring it up. I guess It’s time to tell the truth.
“Umm.. well as you’ve probably guessed, he’s my ex. A no good lying dirty cheater. He was first and I swore he was gonna be my last. I’m not gonna put myself through that pain and misery again. He said he loved me time after time and I was naïve enough to believe it. Stupid gullible Felicity.”
Bruno sat there quietly listening throughout my whole heart-opening speech. When I finished he sat me up and looked into my eyes, wiped away my tears and spoke.
“Felicity. You’re funny, clever and extremely beautiful.” He touched my cheek as he saw the pain in my eyes. I looked away but he just brought my chin back up to face him.
“You deserve better Fayy. You really do.”
We looked at each other for a while I watched him lean over to my lips. He was so close to my face I could taste his breath. Mint. Yummy. But no. I can’t do this. I can’t seriously be falling for a guy again.
“I’m sorry Bruno. I just… can’t”
And with that I left. I got up and ran.
Holy fuck. I thought as I watched her run away. I thought she liked me? I thought we had a thing? OhMyGod, I bet she was only doing it to piss off Kameron. Fucking hell. How can she use me to get back at her ex? That’s low. Really low.
I walked back into Marvin’s not saying a word. The guys have left and it was only me. Marvin must’ve left me the keys to lock up for tonight. I sit on the sofa, grab an acoustic guitar and strum away to a random tune as I freestyle.
‘His love is all she knows, all she knows,
You’ve been living this way so long,
You don’t know the difference, and its killing me.
‘cause you can have so much more,
I’m the one you’re looking for,
But you close your eyes on me,
So you still can’t see….’
Why on earth did I do that? Why did I resist? He’s nothing like Kameron! The most perfect guy and I blew my chance. Fuck my life. I hate myself right now. Should I go back or not?
‘His love is all she knows…’
Wow this song could have potential. I just need to fix the first verse and I’ll show it to the guys and see what they think.
“I better write down the lyrics and chords before I forget.”
I grabbed a sheet of paper and scribbled everything down.
There was a knock at the door.