Chapter 4+5

22/03/2012 17:29

Chapter 4


I drove to the studio trying to sort out all the problems in my head the last one I needed was Jam messing with my relationship, fuck this i'm going over there.. I turned and drove to their appartment I knew there was a key under the rug so I grabbed it and opened the door, Alena? No answer.. I walked to her bedroom, I opened the door and my heart dropped.. "Bru?" So this is why you wanted to leave hu? "Bru please no let me explain!" Save it were over. I walked over to the door but she grabbed my wrist I pulled it back shaking my head, "Bru he kissed me please it just happened it didn't mean anything I love you not him please!" She started crying and a small part of me wanted to go and never look back but I believed her I hugged her tight and Kenji stood against the wall with his head in his hands, You're an asshole man kissing your best friends girl? Wow you must be one lonely motherfucker. "Bruno I had her first I was there and here you come barely know her a fucking week and you got her like that? This aint fair" Well life's not fair bro get used to it.


"Alena choose right now me or him" I frowned, Ofcourse him Kenji he's my boyfriend and you should have been honoust why now? Now that I have a boyfriend and I don't care what you say I love him more then anything you just don't get that do you? "How?! How can you love someone you don't even fucking now you don't even know his real name Alena!" What do you mean real name? "Oh his name is Peter, Bruno's a fucking nickname you didn't even know that and you love him?! That's bullshit straight up you're just acting like a little slut!" I'm leaving. I went to my room and packed my things "Where the hell are you going" Anywhere far away from you Kenji I hate you! I threw my things in the bag and got dressed not caring what he said "Alena please don't" Goodbye Kenji. I got my bag and left I knew Bruno followed me "Babe are you sure?" Yeah. "Babe he's upset don't do this" What do you care Bruno or should I call you Peter I don't know anymore.


Alena this is all getting way too messed up I want a simple relationship i'm not in for all this fucking drama. "Oh and you think I am?!" I'm just saying we have been together for like two fucking days and we are already fighting! "Well maybe this was a mistake" Yeah maybe it was. "You were right you do lose intrest fast Bruno what has it been a hour?" Sex has nothing to do with this Alena and you know it! "No Bruno I don't believe a word you say understood?!" You don't believe me you were the one making out with Kenji and don't be bullshitting me Alena you kissed him back and you know it! "YEAH MAYBE I DID" WELL I WISH YOU THE BEST. "FINE" FINE. I turned around and drove home I was furious I didn't want to lose her but this wasn't working. I grabbed my phone and dialed Chanel's number "Hello?" Chanel where are you? "Home" Can I come over? "Sure" Alright see you later "Bye babe" I hung up..


I went back home and Jam was sitting on the couch crying, Jam? He looked up at me and frowned "Alena?" I'm sorry for everything Kenji me and Bruno are over.. "Oh I'm sorry Alena" No you're not, but it's ok.. I put my bag down and sat down next to him wiping away my tears..I really loved him Kenji "I told you this would happen" I nodded, Yeah I know. "So are you still coming to L.A?" I don't know we didn't end very peacefully.. "You wont even see him" I guess.. I'm going to go to bed,ok? "Alright sweetie" I got up walking to my bed and lying down I cried and cried like it would never end I felt like a piece of me had left I knew him for such a short time but he had made his way into my heart so fast.. I missed him already maybe we would meet again in the future..


"Hey babe" Hi.. "Come in" I went inside and sat down "You want anything to drink?" Anything that will get me drunk is just fine "Oh my god" She chuckled, she gave me a glass "Bruno have you thought about us?" I nodded, I have "And?" I"m thinking about it Chanel..she smiled from ear to ear "Really?" Yeah.. I actually wasn't but I just didn't want to be alone.. She hugged me, "I love you" She kissed me but I pulled back, Chanel not yet "Ok.. So what happened to you two?" Just didn't work out that's all. "Bruno I know you better tell me" It just didn't work out Chanel.. "Ok well you want to watch a movie or something?" Sure, she grabbed a dvd and sat next to me I put my arm around her but this just didn't feel right at all.. "Bruno you know I missed you.." I nodded "And I missed you inside of me so much" My eyes widened I chuckled.. I leave quite an impression "You really do" She bit her lip trying to kiss me again but I turned my head, Chanel please.. "Ok" 


I couldn't do this, I missed him too much and he was leaving tomorrow I didn't want us to end I picked up my phone dialing his number as fast as possible, "Hello?" What the hell that's not Bruno.. "Hello???" Hi.. "Who am I speaking with?" Who am I speaking with?! "Chanel" And why are you picking up his phone? "I'm his girlfriend I can do whatever I want" I hung up I felt my heart breaking all over again we just broke up two days ago and he already has a new girl? I threw my phone on the floor how could he do this to me? I burried my head into the pillow, "Sweetie?" Leave me alone Kenji.. "Alena you know I only want the best for you" I nodded, I know.. "And you know I love you right?" I love you to Kenji.. "Just not the same way." I felt anger build up inside of me.. I do. He smiled, "Really?" I sat up, I put my hands in his neck pulling him closer to me I kissed him and pushed him on his back "Alena are you sure?" Yes. I took off his clothes and started riding him "Oh my god.." I went faster closing my eyes imagening he was Bruno but he was nothing like Bruno he didn't touch me the way he did or moan like him or kiss me so gently like he did.. I got dressed "Does this mean anything?" I don't know.. "So what I was just a rebound guy?" No Kenji.. I got my keys and went outside, I needed a break and I was going to see Bruno tomorrow I had to prepare myself.. I walked around the park humming some songs.. "Alena?!"I looked up seeing Phil "Hey girl" Hi Phil.. "And tell me how is the love with you and Bru?" I looked down feeling a tears coming, Were over. "Oh shit seriously" Yeah, didn't he tell you? "Nah he was busy with." He froze "Nevermind" I know about Chanel.. His eyes widened "How?" I called him and she picked up.. I started crying and he heald me close "It's going to be ok Bruno just needs some time" I love him so much Phil I know I don't know him that well but it's just a feeling you get when you meet that person you know you'll never forget Bruno was my special someone I just love him so much it hurts.." 


Who was that? I dried myself off waiting for an answer, Chanel?! "That girl" Alena? "Yeah her" Why did she call? "I don't know she hung up on me" Well what did you say? I was getting angry.. "Bru don't raise your voice" I took a deep breath, I'm going out. I got dressed and called Phil on the way to the studio "Hello?" Phil were you at? "I'm with Alena" What? Why? "Wait up" I could hear him get up and go to another room "Man you are such an asshole she was crying non-stop saying how much she loves you and wants you back but that fucking Chanel told her she's your girlfriend I swear man she's gonna hurt herself.." The fuck? I had no idea this ment so much to her, You want me to come? "Hell no you want her to have a heartattack?" Phil please I just want to see her "Bruno it's best if you two just stay away from eachother" Phil I need to fucking see her! I started crying it hit me how much I missed her.. "My place" I drove to his place as fast as possible and ran to the door he opened "Livingroom" I ran over to the livingroom seeing her sit on the couch crying she looked up and started crying even more "I-im sorry Bru.." I sat in front of her on he floor wiping away her tears, Please don't cry.. 


He started crying himself and all I wanted to do is hold him and kiss him I wanted him back so bad.. "Alena I'm so sorry" I slept with Kenji.. He frowned and backed away "What?" He slammed his fist against the wall making me a little scared "Two days Alena we broke up for two fucking days and how dare you then say you miss me while you're the one fucking around?" He was yelling and walking back and forth, Bruno please.. "Save it Alena I don't want to fucking hear it how could you?" You're the fucking one getting back with Chanel Bruno don't fuck with me! "Excuse me? I havent done shit with her Alena so you just believe anything she says hu? You think she didn't try anything ? But I stopped her cause I fucking loved you" Loved... So what you don't love me anymore "I stopped from the moment that asshole fucked you" He slammed the door behind him I ran after him grabbing his wrist, Bruno please don't walk away.. 


I pulled back my hand, Don't you dare touch me.. "Bru please i'm so sorry I was hurt" Oh and I wasn't? So whenever you're hurt you get the right to cheat on me? "We broke up Bruno! You remember you broke up with me" I don't know anymore" Bru if you can honestly tell me you don't love me i'll leave you alone and walk out of your life.." I don't love you I walked to my car hearing her fall to the ground and cry and some part of me didn't let me start the damn car and drive away I got out walking over to her helping her get up she hugged me "Please don't leave me Bruno I swear i'll kill myself if you do.." What? Anela don't talk crazy shit like that "Bruno if you leave me I have no reason to be alive" 

I grabbed her face and looked her in the eyes, Anela don't ever say that again understood? "Bru I just love you so much.." I love you too Anela but- "Please no but's just say you love me and never let me go.. "Ok" 

I woke up feeling his arms around me, I smiled remembering last night he made love to me in such good way I looked at him god how could he be so damn perfect? I moved his arm and got up he moved around a little, "Babyyyy" Babe go to sleep... "No come back" He sat up rubbing his eyes "Please?" I have to go and pack my stuff babe.. "You're so making this up to me later" He burried his face into the pillow I knew he was laughing, And how will I make it up to you "Don't act stupid babe" I really don't know.. He got up, I started running and he was chasing me "Come here!!" NOO!! He got a hold of my shirt and pinned me down and kissed me, Ewwww we havent even brushed our teeth yet.. He rolled his eyes "Oh please.." He kissed me again, I felt him moving his hand to my waist..he started tickling me, BABE NOO! I was laughing so hard I couldn't even talk "Who's your daddy???" His name is Eric!! "Oh hell no" He didn't stop and I couldn't breath anymore, YOU ARE BRUNO YOU'RE MY DADDY!! "Damn right I am." He got up and walked over tot he bathroom..


I looked at my reflection in the mirror and smiled this smile was real and I hadn't smiled like this in a long time this year was crazy me and Chanel moving to L.A meeting Alena and all but at the end of the day it all turned out good.. "Baby?" Yeah? "I'm going to go and pack my stuff alright?" You want me to drive you? "No it's cool i'll walk" You sure? "Yeah babe" Alright, I kissed her goodbye and watched her leave..I missed her already, I got dressed and looked at all the bags packed and ready to go I would miss Hawaii and I knew this was going to be hard but this was something I just had to do. I took a nap cause Alena woke me up and I was still pretty tired.. "Baby?" Hmmm.. "We have to go" Go where? "To the airport" Damn how long did I sleep? "Long." Alright.. I got up rubbing my face, "You're so cute" Sexy. Not cute. She chuckled "Right" I put on my jacket and fedora and grabbed her hand, Let's go.. we walked over tot he car, It all hit me..I was leaving and I promised I wouldn't come back like this I would come back as a person my mother could be proud of. The ride to the airport was quiet I guess we both needed some time to deal with all of this.. "Can we stop somewhere?"


Chapter 5 


He looked at his clock and nodded, "Where to babygirl?" The beach. He frowned "Why?" I need to do something.. "Alright" We arrived and the day she died came back to me I tryed to stay strong but that was impossible "Babe we can go" No, i'll be alright.. He grabbed my hand as we slowly walked over to the ocean I looked at the waves and closed my eyes, Babe can I have a moment? "Sure i'll wait in the car" I nodded, Halia i'm going to L.A you know.. I wish you were here you would be so excited.. I miss you there's not a day that goes by that I don't think of you.. I hope you're having fun wherever you are.. I'll see you around sis.. I walked back tot he car and felt at peace like I finally got over everything.. "Ready to go?" Yeah.. 


We arrived in L.A after wat seemed like a very long flight.. "Babe were are we staying" Me and the guys are renting an appartment it's got like two bedroom but me and you have a private one don't worry. "Why would I worry it's not like were going to do anything" I shot her a look, Do you want me to go tickle master on your ass? "NO" I chuckled and opened the door to the appartment, this was going to be hard the place wasn't big or fany just a slimple livingroom, a little kitchen and the two bedrooms. "So are we going out tonight?" I don't know about you guys but me and Alena are going to bed, "I have a mouth, but yeah he's right I wanna go to bed.." "Alright were out!" Bye.. I picked her up running to the bedroom "Brunoo!!" I threw her on the bed and took off my shirt before I jumed on her kissing her neck "Bruno are you always horny" Yes, I am. "Oh my god.." She pushed me off and laughed,"I'm going to make some dinner take a shower, watch some tv and eat after that i'll see what i'm in the mood for.."I don't like that order why don't we fuck in the shower, and then you make me dinner and watch a movie with me? "You are unbelievable" I'm a man. She walked to the kitchen but I knew she was laughing.. I got up putting on my shirt.


Six months later.

Bruno I can't fucking do this anymore why are you being so damn stubborn just call yo- "NO ALENA, I'm not calling my mom for money" I grabbed my bag and put on my jacket, You just figure it out but this is not what you told me it would be i'm workign four jobs Bruno FOUR and what are you doing strumming your guitar like it's going to pay the damn bills, I'm the one making dinner for six guys and don't take me wrong I love them all but i'm not paying all the bills and i'm not doing it anymore I can't do it anymore i'm exhausted "So what you're going to get up and leave?" No I love you too much for that but god fuckign knows why?! I slammed the door behind me and walked I don't even know where to but I sat down on a bench and put my head in my hand I was so tired and I needed to be at work in ten minutes... I'm not going to be able to keep this up I already lost a lot of weight we never went out we haven't had sex in forever we didn't even kiss anymore it was like life sucked the love right out of us..


She's leaving me I can feel it she's so beautiful she would find a guy in a second... "Bruno she loves you man she said it herself" How long is it going to last Phil she's tired she's always mad but I can't blame her or be mad about it everything she said was true I need to call Jessica.. "Man are you fucking insane if she finds out you did that she'll leave yo ass so fast you wont even know what hit you" I have no choice Phil I can't let her do that to herself. "I don't know man" Just don't tell her please it will only be till we come back from London ok? "Alright" I grabbed my jacket putting it on while dialign Jessica's number "Hello?" Jessica it's me "Oh hey Bruno what's up" I thought about what you said "Oh really cause when I said it you got mad and left" Can you blame me? "No I guess not, so are we doing this.." Yes. "Come to the studio" Already there "Great" I hung up and went tot he bar filling my glas all the way to the top if I was doign this I didn't want to do it sober.. I heard the door open and saw Jessica come in "Hey" Hi.. "Sit with me" I sat down next to her taking another sip, she took my glass and put it on the table "You're only 20 years old Bruno" So.. By the way how old are you? "You say that like I belong in a museum..i'm 25" Still older.. "Ok I did not come here to be called old" You aint old you're older "Whatever let's get to the point how much?" 5.000 "For a night?" Well this aint my job ok i'm a normal person "Fine, you're worth it but you better give me a good time Bruno.." I nodded, she put the money on the table and looked me in the eyes she kissing me, this felt so wrong but I had to do it for her eventhough she would leave if she ever found out. "Bruno why are you so tight?" I just have to get used to this i'm sorry..


I threw my bag on the couch and sat down I threw my head back and sighed I was so tired how in the hell am I going to get up in three hours? I went to bed but Bruno wasn't there I guess he went to the studio I sat on the bed and lied down on the bed closing my eyes but I missed his arm around me I just missed him I got up, I knocked on Phil's door "Alena have you seen the time?" Sorry but do you know Where Bruno is? He scratched the back off his head "At the studio" Really.. "Yes why would he be somewhere els?" Ok i'm going to see him.. "NO just go to sleep he'll be back" Ok.. Why was he acting so weird? I grabbed my phone and dialed his number "Hello?" I heard some noise but I didn't really figure out what it was, Babe where are you? "I'm at the studio." Will you come home I can't fall asleep.. "Yeah yeah i'll come in like a hour, auw.. two houres." Did someone just punch you? "No.." I swear I heard you say auw.. "I didnt" Alright then i'm going to bed I have to be at work in two houres.. "that soon so i'm not going to see you?" No I guess not but I can't lose this job Bruno. "I know" Ok goodnight "Sweet dreams."


"I don't know what you see in her" I didn't come here to talk about Alena ok? "Alright" She kissed me again but harder this time she got a little rough making me lie down on my back she took off her shirt and mine she kissed my neck "Make love to me Bru" I grabbed her shoulders and pinned her down she was playing around with my belt I tryed to keep it as far away from her hands but she got it... "Bruno I know what you're doing" I aint doing anything.. "Right" She sat up "Bruno i'm not proud of what i'm doing either" Then why are you doing this? "Bruno you just have something about you the way you talk and fool around it just turns me on in such a way you can't imagine your looks are just a bonus..a big bonus" I sighed this is wrong..I kissed her again pushing her on her back, I took off her panties but somethig didn't feel right.. oh my god. "Oh shit this happens it's no big deal" Ok he works fine I don't know what the fuck is wrong with me. "Bruno relax ok" I kissed her again but harder I moved my hands down and slipped a finger inside of her I think it was her moans but I finally got hard.. I entered her and hated that I was enjoying this I closed my eyes and imagined she was Alena but it didn't work she was nothing like Alena.


It felt like I slept for two minutes but I had to get up I walked over to the shower and got ready I walked over to the bus stop waiting for the seven o'clock bus yet again.. I took my seat and looked out the window I grabbed my phone and called Bruno "Hello." He sounded upset, Hi babe where are you? "I'm going home right now" Oh what's wrong you sound upset "I'm just tired.. "Oh ok i'll see you when I get home I guess "Yeah you will" I miss you Bruno "What do you mean?" I miss being with you kissing you and stuff.. "I know I miss that too" You know it's hard having a boyfriend like you and not touching you the whole time, I knew he was smiling "Well right back at you babe i'll see you later ok?" Alright.. I hung up and everyone was staring at me, shit.. this was so awkward I got out and arrived at work after a ten minut walk I went inside changed into my outfit and started taking orders the usual working day I saw a girl sit down at one of the table I knew I had seen her before I walked over to the table and she almost choked in her drink, Oh my god are you ok?! "Yeah I just saw the time" Wait do I know you? "I don't know.." Wait you work with Bruno right? " must be Alena" Yes I am "You're a lucky girl.." Oh thank you


I opened the door and Phil got up looking at me "SOW?" So what.. "You know" I threw the money on the table and went to our bedroom I lied down on the bed breathing in her sent I heard the door open, Phil not now i'm not in the mood.. "Babe it's me" Shit. I sat up she gave me a peck on the lips and threw her bag on the floor before getting into bed ,she closed her eyes she looked so tired, "What were you talking about?" Just some stuff with Phil "Oh..lie with me" I lied down next to her and put my arm around her waist pulling her closer to me our lips met and I finally felt the spark that I thought was gone.. "Bruno do you have a new cologne?" What do you mean? "You smell like flowers" Oh..I just took a bath "Oh.." I thanked god she was tired if she wasn't she would have put the pieces together in a blink of an eye.. "Babe i'm sorry for yesterday i'm just really tired" I know you have every right to be but it will get better I promise she nodded "When are you going to London?" Next week "Im gonna miss you guys it's going to be so quiet when I get home" I know i'll miss you too but it's only for like a month "Mhmm.." I got up letting her rest I knew she was tired since she hadn't opened her eyes at all when we were talking


I woke up feeling a little better but I called in sick at work..well at my jobs. I wasn't sick but I was so tired and exhausted I had to take a break I took a long shower and made myself some breakfast the guys had already left so this was a good time to clean the house I grabbed Bruno's jeans before washing them I checked the pockets I felt something it was an envelope filled with money and a lot of it how did he get this? I put it on the sink and continued what I was doing but he had some explaining to do when he got home. The rest of the day went by pretty fast I watched tv made dinner but the whole money thing didn't leave my mind at all I heard the front door open... "Hey babe" Bruno what's this? I heald up the envelope filled with money and his eyes widened "Where did you find that?" In your jeans I was about to wash them.. "That's just some money a guy owed me." A guy owed you? When the hell did you give someone this much money? "It was a long time ago" Bruno you are 20 years old when the hell was a long time ago?! "Just drop it Alena" I threw the envelope on the coffe table and got up, I walked over to him and grabbed his wrist, Don't walk away when i'm talking to you Peter! He pulled away his hand I swear I saw some tears in his eyes, "Just leave me alone please..." 


She frowned but let me go, I walked to our bedroom and shut the door behind me I sat on the bed, What have I done? I knew she wouldn't understand she would call it cheating and no excuses. Maybe she would forgive me but she would never forget I just couldn't take that chance. I wiped away the tears I just felt so ashamed of myself sleeping with someone for money isn't something to be proud of.. I got up and looked at my reflection in the mirror, that smile that was there six months ago was gone..get it together Bruno.. I opened the door and sat down on the couch she looked at me every once in a while but didn't say anything I just wish she would leave it alone.. "Bru you love me right?" Ofcourse I do.. Why would you even ask that "Ok.." Don't you have work? "I took a day off" Good you need some rest.. "Yeah.. Bruno what are you going to do with the money?" Pay bills and stuff.. "You and the guys should go out.." What about you? "I'll be fine you go and have fun" I smiled, You sure? "Yeah go ahead" Alright babe i'll make it up to you when I get home.. 


He got ready and left with the guys I wish he would just have some fun he's only 20 years old and has so many problems.. I read a magazine and ate something before going to bed I wanted to wait for Bruno but he was probably coming home after midnight. I lied down and fell asleep..I woke up around five thirty ,I opened my eyes and heard the front door open I heard some giggling I sat up and opened the door they were sitting on the couch I could smell the alcohol all the way from here.. "Oh shit did we wake you?" No it's fine Bru come to bed... "Why did you miss me?" No i'm cold.. "I'll come and heat you up" The guys started laughing and I shot him a look, You're so full of yourself. "I'm sorry baby i'll come in a minut" Ok.. I shut the door behind me and lied down I heard footsteps and the door opened, Did you have fun? "Yeah" He lied down and turned around so his back was facing me, Bruno. "Yeah?" Seriously I feel like i'm in bed with a stranger. He chuckled and turned around "Come here" He opened his arms and smirked, I got comfortable and closed my eyes "Dont sleeeep" I'm tired.. "Oh come on please?" So what do you want to do? "It's been months. " I know babe.. I kissed him and he started getting rougher but suddenly stopped, What's wrong?


I couldn't do it I kept thinking about Jessica and stuff I burried my face into the pillow and sighed, "Babe what's wrong?" I-I can't... "What do you mean why?" Nothing I can do this.. I grabbed her shoulder and pinned her down kissing her neck I pushed all the thought to the back of my mind and took off her clothes "I missed this" Me too. I entered her and this time it did feel right. She kept moaning my name and it got a little too loud "CAN YOU GUYS KEEP IT THE FUCK DOWN?" We froze and busted out laughing "Oh my god.." Ignore them. I went faster and she heald her hand in front of her mouth to cover up the moans but I liked it I heald her hands above her head, the guys deffenetly heard us. I woke up seeing her next to me I smiled remembering last night I got up and went to the livingroom I made some eggs and sat down eating them while reading the paper I heard some noise come out of the bathroom, It was Phil. "Man I swear the whole neighborhood heard you.. I chuckled, yeah well.. I put my plate in the sink and got dressed 


1 week later.

"Alena are you serious right now?" Bruno I said i'm sorry my boss wont let me come.. "Fuck him i'm leaving for a month I want to say goodbye" Bru please don't make this harder then it already is "Fine" I have to go, bye I love you "Bye" He hung up I know he was upset but I couldn't afford to lose this job "Girl he'll get over it" I hope so.. "So when am I going to meet this Bruno guy?" Well he's going to London for a month but i'll introduce you when he gets back.. "Alright but tell me how does he look?" Wait I think I have a picture of us two together.. I grabbed my bag, I had a picture of me and him back in Hawaii I would always carry it around with me "Oh my god he's gorgeous.." I chuckled, He's mine! "I know girl he's all yours" I gave Michelle a hug she was a good friend of mine I could always tell her when me and Bruno had a fight or when I had something on my mind.. "Alena, Michell where are you two?!" Oh shit. We went back to work and luckely time went by fast I took the bus home, It hit me Bruno was gone and we didn't even get the chance to say goodbye but some part of me thinks its best I knew I would cry and make him feel bad anyway.. I got to the appartment and went inside normally I would hear the guys talking and the tv and radio would be on while somebody was in the shower but now it was quiet. I went to our bedroom and looked around me all his fedora's were gone and his clothes too I felt alone.. I grabbed my phone and dialed his number "Hello?" Babe it's me. "Oh hey where are you?" I just got home.. "Oh I miss you" I miss you too I don't know how i'm going to deal with not seeing you for a whole month.. "I know babe I can't wait to see you again" Ok I'll let you get to work "Alright bye" Bye.. "I love you" I love you too. 


I put the phone down on the coffee table "Man you'll be back in no time" I know i'm used to not seeing her a lot but being alone a night that's something i'm not used to.. "Look if we nail this we can get signed at Motown just focus" I nodded, yeah you're right "So sing that song you were working on" Wich one? "You know that billionare one" Oh right... 


I wanna be a billionare so fucking bad buy all the things I never had I wanna be on the cover of Forges magazine smiling next to Oprah and the Queen oh everytime I close my eyes I see my name in shining light..


"Yeah I like that but it's missing something.." What do you mean? "I don't know like a rapper or something" A rapper? "Yeah we have to finish this when we get to L.A" I nodded, Let's just finish that song "You spinn me right round baby right round when you go down when you go down down" He started dancing and singing with Jam, I couldn't stop laughing, You are both damn fools..


It's been three weeks since I last saw Bruno..or talked to him he hadn't called or texted at all I knew he was busy but he could atleast called me once.. I tryed contacting him a couple of times but it just went straight to voicemail I took a shower and got dressed as fast as I could I heard my phone ring, it was Sofia. "Girl where you at?" I'm at home i'm getting ready for work "Nu-uh you're coming out with me" What no I have work "Just call in sick or something" Ugh..I really don't feel like coming out tonight "Oh come oon it will be fun" I don't know what if Bruno- "Shut up that asshole hasn't called you in three motherfucking weeks you're coming out." Fine... I called my boss pretending I was sick and he believed me I really thought he'd figure me out.. I opened my closet..shit. I had nothing to wear only jeans and some sweaters, after trying on everything I heard the doorbell "Ola chica" Hi Sofia "Oh hell no you're not wearing that come on girl the virgin mary didn't even wear that much clothes." I have a boyfriend. "SO?" I don't know.. "Ok he's in London that's the other side of the damn world how is he going to find out? And your just having fun it's not like you slept with someone." Yeah I guess but I don't have any dresses "Are you serious?" Yeah.. "Not ONE?" No.. "Oh my god" She opened my clossed and her jaw dropped "GIRL YOU HAVE TO GO SHOPPING" No I have to pay bills. "HA what's this?" She heald out a little black dress I had from when I was sixteen, That's way too short.. "No it's not put it on" Ugh.. I put it on feeling.. like a slut. "That looks great!" No it doesn't "Yes it does now do your make-up and hair "It's already done. "Oh god.."


"Dude that's enough" Phil get off my back... "Man you are waisted and shouldn't you call Alena it's been weeks" Alena? Oh right.. "Oh so now you forgot her name?" NO.. she's my girl.. I burried my head into the pillow everything around me was spinning.. "Bruno you have to get it together all you fucking do is get waisted" Phil i'm 20 years old let me live my fucking life.. "Fine do whatever the fuck you want i'm going home" Bye.. I looked for my phone and dialed Alena's number "Hello? Baby?!" Hey girl.. "Oh my god I hate you why havent you called me!" I'm sorry i've been real busy and stuff, I miss you.. "What? I can't hear you wait" I heard her walk into another room "Ok what did you say?" I said I'm sorry I've been really busy. "Oh I understand I miss you too" Where are you I hear music "Oh me and Sofia went out" Sofia? "Yeah she's a friend" Oh well have fun.. "I will" And behave "You know I really miss you a lot.." You know I can help you with that.. "What? How?" You know.. "Oh hell no that's fucking weird" Oh come oooon "Babe i'm not having sex with you over a phone" You're no fun "Shut up, I have to go babe Sofia's probably looking for me" Alright but you are so making it up to me when I get back "Alright bye babe I love you" I love you too..


"ALENA!!" I'm coming! "Where did you go?!" Bruno called me.. "Oh wow he finally remembered you hu?" Shut up, I punched her in the arm playfully "Do you know that girl?" Witch one? "The one in the red dress" Oh yeah she's a friend of Bruno's well she's been staring all night long" I'll go say hi.. I walked over and she smiled "Hi" Hey Jessica right? "Yeah how are you?" I'm good what about you? "I'm great so how is Bruno?" He's in London right now he'll be back in a week "Oh cool tell him to call me when he gets back" What for? "Oh nothing we just need talk" About? "Us" What do you mean us? "Me and Bruno have a thing going on" Oh hell no, What kind of thing?! I was getting pretty upset and felt Sofia grab my arm "You know no strings attached kind of thing" BITCH YOU BETTER SHUT YOUR MOUTH RIGHT NOW. "What for I'm being honoust with you babe" No, Bruno would never do that you're just a damn liar! "Oh really? Where did you think he got the money?" I frowned and shook my head, You're crazy now get the fuck out out of my face "Or what" OR IM GOING TO FUCK YOU UP SO BAD HE WONT EVEN RECOGNIZE YOUR STUPID ASS "Excuse me girl you better watch your mouth" She got all up in my face and before I knew it she was on the floor bleeding.. Sofia grabbed my waist pulling me outside I sat down on the sidewalk and put my head in my hands, "Chica don't worry she's full of shit Bruno wouldn't do that" She was right about the money.. "That doesn't mean he slept with her!" I hope not.. I want to go home.. "Ok.." I opened the door and said goodbye to Sofia as soon as I closed it behind me I fell to the ground and cried I prayed and begged God to not let this be true but a part of me knew it was..


I woke up in the middle of the night, Damn another dream these nightmares just wouldn't stop haunting me I would see Alena stand in the middle of a meadow wearing a long white dress I tried running over to her but it was like I didn't move in the blink of an eye I would have her in my arms but she would be bleeding and I would call her name and shake her I woke up after that I went to th kitchen and poured myself a drink I knew I couldn't sleep after that anyway.. "Bruno?" I looked up seeing Kenji come out of his room, Yeah? "Why are you up?" These nightmares man.. "Damn you still have them?" Yeah.. "You know drinking wont help" I know it's just till I get back, I need Alena right now.. "Bruno is something wrong?" No why would their be anything wrong? "I don't know you've just been so quiet there's something on your mind" It's just everything I miss home and this music thing isn't working out the way I thought it would.. "You know it's just been seven motnhs" Yeah I know.. "Go get some sleep man" Kenji? "Yeah?" Do you have feelins for Alena? "Nah man i'm over that.." I nodded, ok. "And i've been seeing this girl.." I smirked, What girl? "Some girl I met the other night" Damn someone got luckyyyy, He laughed "You can say that" Well that makes one of us.. "Bro don't fuckt with me I sleep in the room next to yours" Oh come on we only do it like twice a week "That's a lot Bruno" If it was up to me it would be every night man "Well thank god it aint up to you" 

I wooke up walking over to the mirror, I looked like crap my eyes were red from all the crying and I noticed I had lost a lot of weight these couple of weeks had been really hard I put my hair in a messy bun and got dressed I went downstairs and checked the mail, Bills, Bills, Bills I noticed a letter 'Hawaii - Honolulu' I opened it and started reading