"I don't know." I felt my fist clench as I tapped out the tune of a song long forgotten on the reception desk as the nurse tapped violently away on her keyboard. At one point we seemed to be having a subconsious competition of 'I tap play louder than you can'. I wasn't worried about her. I couldn't remember anything, I couldn't take in anything, there was only one image fresh in my head; Bruno.
"Don't know what? Was he admitted, what happened?" I repeated. She was pissing me off. Eric started talking. I wasn't paying attention anyway. Think, Kay. Think! I tried to remember when I was in New York. An image. I remembered walking to work aimlessly, strolling past a shop, when I saw a woman fall down some steps and hurt her leg. She couldn't move. I knew nothing about tending to large wounds, so I called 911.
I rode with her to the hospital. ER, then OR. Wasn't that right? Yeah. I looked around for a sign.
"I need the emergency room," I cut in on whatever Eric was saying to the woman. She stared at me, wondering why I was bugging her most likely.
"Up those stairs, second flo-" I didn't need to hear the rest. All I needed was to climb those stairs, 5 at a time. I needed Bruno.
Breathing heavily as I halted at the top of the huge stairway, I pushed the doors open. Nothing.
"Open, open, open open open open open open OPEN!" Bruno was somewhere in this hospital in the middle of LA, in some bed, dead, alive, I didn't know, and they locked the doors?
Bruno. I repeated his name, and felt myself sink to my knees. Breathing heavily. Wait...that's wasn't me breathing. I looked up, and the doors were open, a startled nurse was staring at me. He raised an eyebrow.
"Er, ma'am, this is a pull door from that side."
"Oh, erm sorry." I was at the height of embarassment. Seriously x2? I stood up. Blinking in the full light of the emergency room. The doctor took my hand and led me into the bustling ER, sitting me down. He had brown hair, floppy, and he looked very young to be a doctor. His eyes never left me, obviously curious of why I was so stressed. I never looked at him once, because I was too busy looking for Bruno. Where was he?
"I'm talking to you..." I snapped back to the doctor's worried face. "Are you hurt?" I sighed.
"No, doctor. I'm looking for someone, Peter Hernandez, he was admitted about ten minutes ago probably, I need to make sure he's OK because this is all my fault, I let him go get coffee when I could have gone with him, he didn't have to be hurt because it could have been ME over him, and it's unfair that he's only 25 and now he's in the emergency room, probably fighting for his life!"
I was babbling. I couldn't help it. I felt someone's hand on my shoulder. The doctor looked up behind him. I closed my eyes. I wished. I felt him.
"doctor, is she OK?"
I turned around, and my heart fell. I knew it wasn't going to be him.
"I think she's fine. Just looking for someone," he replied, standing up. "I can check for you."
I wasn't listening, because the sound of doors swinging open caught my attention. Doctors rushed around a trolley, shouting things to each other. I didn't understand, I was no doctor. Two words struck me, from the mess of shouts. he's losing.
I felt my stomach somersault. I hate hospitals. And these doctors made me nervous. Where was Bruno? Hurry up!
"Peter? Peter, can you hear me...?"
My head snapped back to the trolley. Oh my God. All I could see was a hand on the side of it, an IV tube going up the person's arm. But that skin tone...that hand....we played on the piano 20 minutes beforehand. It was Bruno.
Again, I lost all awareness. I stood up and ran after the trolley. There was no one following me. I looked back, and the looks of confusion on each of the band member's faces was heartbreaking. They didn't know it was him, did they? And...he looked awful. It broke my heart. I caught up to the trolley, holding the side to keep myself steady as I ran with it.
"Bruno! Bruno, look! It's me!" I yelled at him. I needed to keep him awake, because the doctors were failing.
"Ma'am, you need to give us some space to keep him going til we get to the OR," I heard a doctor behind me say. I took no notice and continued to stay beside the trolley. Bruno's brown eyes were drooping, and he was wearing an oxygen mask over his face.
"Bruno, don't. I know it's hard, but you have to keep awake, OK? Remember when we were on tour, you would keep me up all night?!" I said frantically, trying to keep him looking at me. "Well, I'm getting you back! So stay with me, alright? You're gonna be OK."
"Ma'am." The same doctor spoke up. This time I looked her in the eyes. She smiled. "Whatever your doing, keep doing it." The elevator was fast approaching us. At this point I could hear Jamareo behind me, commentating to the other band members who couldn't see what was going on. As I was looking, I felt Bruno's hand holding mines, and I looked down at him, surprised. The small smile on his face assured me he was going to be OK.
"Why you smiling at me?" I said, gulping back the tears and letting out a laugh. "This is a serious matter! We didn't finish with that song! As soon as we get back to the studio I want that done, you got it, Duke? New number 1?"
I kept this going until we reached the OR, where a doctor pulled me away from the trolley. I felt my heart sink as our hands fell away, but before I lost sight of him
I blew him a kiss. That could be the last time I saw him.
Now I had to wait.