Chapter 51-60

10/01/2012 14:11

Chapter 51

I went into the kitchen and grabbed a shot glass. I went back in the studio and poured myself a shot. One shot for me pain, I thought to myself. One turned into two, and two into four. I stumbled to the desk and grabbed my notebook, I had an idea. I started adding lyrics to a song that I had half wrote years ago. I can just get messed up today, and hopefully everything will be alright tomorrow. Nowadays, the answers to my questions seemed like they sat at the bottom of alcohol bottles.

I laid in the bed looking up to the celing. I felt down and depressed. Even when I was was getting cheated on, I didn’t feel this bad. I finally came to the conclusion that it would be best if me and Bruno just seperated for awhile. Maybe if we both had time to think it would be okay. And well, if we both are better off without each other then that’s what it was going to be. It was like we we’re both torturing each other with our love.

I reached over on the nightstand and dialed Michelle’s number. After three rings, she picked up. “Hello???” “Hi Michelle.” “Diamond, it’s almost 1 in the morning, what’s going on?” “Can I stay with you for a couple days?” “What the hell is going on?” “Me and Bruno got into it again, I’ll tell you everything later, okay?” She sighed, “Okay. Are you coming tonight?” “Can I?” “Yeah sure, I don’t have work tomorrow. I’ll stay up and wait for you.” “Thanks, I’ll be over in about 20 minutes.” “K.” I hung up and sat up on the edge of the bed.

I rubbed my face and looked around the room. Bruno’s hats, his guitar, and his countless flannel shirts made me want to breakdown again. I would miss him, but what’s the point of being with him if all we had we’re problems? It was going to be hard, but I had to do it. I went and packed a duffle bag of clothes and gathered my toliterties. I double checked to make sure I didn’t forget anything. I slowly walked to the front door and grabbed my keys. I adjusted my bag on my shoulder. I opened the door turned around and looked at the house again. I sadly nodded and closed the door behind me.

I sat back on the couch looking up to the ceiling. I was no longer in the studio, I was somewhere else. I just really didn’t care about anything at this point. I wished I had of done things differently in my life. I picked up my phone and I could barely dial numbers. I managed to call Phil but, he didn’t answer. I looked at the time, it was a little after 1. I let out a unsatisfied moan and laid all the way down on the couch. I kind of wished someone was here with me. For the first time since I tried to do the unspeakable, I felt lost and lonely.

I closed my eyes and all I could picture is Diamond’s face. I sat up on the edge of the couch again and rubbed my eyes. My vision was becoming really blurry, and I was way too tired not to even be sleep. I used the couch to push myself up and I stumbled over to the guitar rack. I grabbed an acoustic guitar and fell into another couch. I sat there rubbing my fingers across the strings. It brought back memories of the times where I would sit in my dorm and play for Diamond, and how I tried to teach her how to play, but she never learned. I side smiled at the memories, and before I knew it tears we’re running down my face. I just didn’t understand why it was so hard for us to love each other. All I ever wanted to do was love her, but life just won’t give me the chance to.

I pulled up to Michelle’s and grabbed my bag out of the backseat. I went to the door and gently knocked. She answered within seconds and stepped to the side welcoming me in. “Are you okay?” I looked up at her and broke down again, she hugged me and rubbed my back. I can’t keep just breaking down on people, this shit was not going to work. “I just love him so much Michelle.” I cried. “Awww.. man.” she said hugging me tighter. I could tell by the sound of her voice that she was holding back tears too. What the fuck am I going to do with myself….



Chapter 52

I wiped my face with the sleeve of my shirt and adjusted the guitar on my lap. I started strumming away and singing…

I know you’re somewhere out there somewhere far away,

I want you back, I want you back…

My neighbors think I’m crazy,

But, they don’t understand..

You’re all I have, you’re all I have….

Michelle helped me over to the couch and she sat down beside me. I kept sniffing and she handed me a box of tissues. “Do you want to talk about it?” she said rubbing my back. “I think so..” “Alright, I’m all ears.” I looked at her straight in the eyes, “I cheated on him.” “What? Why would you do that?” “I didn’t do it to get back at him..” I said looking back down. “Please don’t tell me with one of the guys?” I shook my head, “No.. it was with Deondrea.” She jumped back, “Deondrea?! From high school?!” I nodded. “Wow…. you guys are crazy..” I put my face into my hands, “I know, I don’t even know what part of me would want to do something like that.” She sighed, “You and Bruno just won’t stop until you’ve both killed each other..”

I was in dire need of a hug right now. I couldn’t leave the studio, I was way past my limit in drinking. I looked over to my phone on the end table across the room. I looked down to the floor, I really wanted to call Diamond right now. She was the only one who could make me feel better. I stumbled across the room to the other couch again and grabbed my phone. I dialed her number and listened to it ring.

“I wish I could take it back..” I said wiping my nose. I felt my phone vibrating and I pulled it out, it was Bruno. I looked at Michelle. “I think you should answer it.” she said honestly. I took a deep breath and did just that.

“Hello?” “Diamond, can you come and get me?” “What? Where are you?” “At the studio.” “Why can’t you drive yourself?” “I’m fucked up okay.” The phone got silent, I could hear him just breathing. “Bruno.. I think it would be best if we just… seperated for awhile..” “Huh?” “At least until we get everything straightened out..”

I was hoping what I was hearing was a lie. “Diamond, don’t do this to me.” “We have nothing but problems..” “But, that doesn’t mean we can’t work it all out right?” “How many times have we tried Bruno?” I didn’t have an answer to that question. “I love you.” I shook my head and felt tears coming again. “I love you too, but come get me please. Just let me talk to you.” “I’m sorry.. I’m not coming.” she cried. I laid my head back, “Why? Why are you doing this to me? I shouldn’t be the one begging you.” “We’re hurting ourselves with all of this..” “Let’s just try, one more time. I learned my lesson. I promise.” The phone got silent and I listened to her lightly cry. It was unreal how much pain we put each other threw. “Maybe later, okay?” “No, I don’t want to wait till’ later, I need you now.” I said strongly. “Bye Bruno.” “No please.” and she hung up.

I screamed at the top of my lungs. How was she just going to leave me? Just like that. I reached out for my keys on the table and stumbled to the door. I stumbled to my car and swung the door open. I got in and put the key in the ignition, but I didn’t start it. I put my hands on the steering wheel and left them there. I can’t drive like this, I was basically asking to be dead. I needed her to let me fix this. Why was this so damn hard?

“Do you feel that was the right choice to make?” she asked me unexpectedly. I shook my head, “Not at all.” She shook her head also, “Now I’m not going to be able to sleep.” I felt coldhearted for what I did. But, at the same time maybe it was needed. We would both have to learn how to cope without each other. Maybe it would teach us both a lesson. I would tell the world how much I loved Bruno even he knows that. I started to ask myself, what is love anyway? It’s just a word. A stupid stupid word.

I looked over to the passenger seat and wished someone was here to talk to me, to stop me, to help me threw this….


Chapter 53

I hit the steering wheel with all the strength I had. I didn’t know if I should be angry or sad anymore. I grabbed the key of out the ignition and stormed back into the studio. I could barely walk but, I started pacing. I wanted this all to just go away. I sat back on the couch and kicked my shoes off. I needed to relax. I put my hands up under my head and fell asleep as fast as I could.

I woke up at countless times in the middle of the night. I was having those nightmares again. I texted and called Diamond every-time I woke up.

I laid in the bed all curled up into a ball. I couldn’t picture me seeing Bruno without us being together. We had never broke up over anything that he did, so why did it take for me to screw up for that to happen? I felt selfish and ashamed. I really needed to get him off of my mind, it was the only way I would keep sane. I grabbed my phone and played a random game until I fell asleep.

“Bruno! Wake the hell up..” I opened one eye to see Phil standing over me. “What the hell are you doing?” I was honestly still sleep, and I couldn’t form words. “I called you Phil.” He nodded, “I know… I seen that this morning.. do you know what time it is?” I opened both of my eyes and leaned up on my elbows, “No.” “It’s almost 1 in the afternoon, what time did you go to sleep?” he said taking his jacket off. “I don’t know…” “Wait, fuck all of that, why aren’t you home?” he said shaking his head. “Diamond got me back, she cheated on me.. and she broke up with me..” He frowned, “Why do you both keep doing this to each other?” I grabbed my head, “I don’t know.” He picked up the whiskey bottle, “And then you got drunk?” I nodded. He picked up the bottle and walked into the kitchen with it, “You going to have to stop this shit man.”

I woke up to laughter outside of the door. I heard a small knock and humming. “Who is it?” “Devinnn. Diamond can you watch cartoons with me? Pleaseeeee?” I smiled, “Sure I’ll be right out handsome.” “Okay!” I heard his little footsteps run down the hall. I got up went into the bathroom, fixed myself up and brushed my teeth. I went back into the guest room and grabbed my phone, I had so many texts and calls from Bruno. I took a deep breath and just put my phone back down, I didn’t even want to read them. They would just make me cry again. I walked out into the living room and found Devin sitting on the couch watching TV. I went and plopped down next to him, “Hey little man, what ya’ watching?” “Tom & Jerry.” I flashed back to all the times me and Bruno watched Tom & Jerry. I could tell that it was going to be really hard to not think about him.

After being lectured to by Phil I decided I would go home and shower. I had a hangover out of this world. Eventually, I made it home and when I got there Diamond’s car wasn’t there. I walked in the door and sighed to myself. It would feel so empty in this house without her. I took a shower and threw on a white t-shirt and a blue and black flannel. I decided to wear a fedora today since I hadn’t in awhile. I ate me a bowl of cereal and grabbed some my lyric and was back out the door.

My phone started vibrating and I lifted myself out of my seat to take it out of my back pocket. I damn near dropped it trying to answer, it was Eric. “Bruno, where are you?” “I’m almost back the studio..” “Well hurry the other guitarist is here..” “Alright thanks bro.” I hung up and set my phone in the passenger seat. I guess I had other things to look forward too. Music was the only thing that was going to keep my mind off of Diamond….


Chapter 54

I pulled up to the studio to find a couple cars that I didn’t recognize. I parked and walked up to the door. I could hear a lot of voices inside. I walked in to find the everyone here. “Nice of everyone to show up.” I said smiling and shaking hands. I finally got to the new guy I shook his hand also, “What’s up man, I’m Bruno.” He smiled, “I’m Jamero, but everybody just calls me Jam.” I nodded, “Jam is it, welcome.” He looked around, “So I’m hearing you guys got a gig or something coming up?” “Oh na, it’s really not a gig we’re just performing for a friend’s wedding.” “Oh alright alright, do you need me to help with any of that?” I looked over to the guitar rack, “Actually, I think I may need you on base.”

I raised my voice, “Alright guys, I don’t know about ya’ll but I’m ready to get to work. I want us to at least looks like we did something productive.” I smirked, “Like Papa Mars always told me, do somethin’ with yourself, boy!” I gained the attention of everyone and got a couple smiles.

I sat on the couch flipping threw TV channels. I never realized that I didn’t watch TV much before. Michelle came into the living room, “Finally got that boy to take a damn nap.” I smiled, “Well that’s good.” She sat down next to me, “So how you holding up?” I sighed, “I mean I’m okay.. if that says anything..” “Alright well, how are you feeling about the wedding and stuff?” “I’m excited, I’m so happy for Carla.” I said honestly. She smiled and nodded, “Me too girl, I love weddings. I think marriage is a beautiful thing.” “I guess so..” I said nodding sowly.

She frowned a me a bit, “Why guess?” I shrugged, “I really don’t know, nothings been coming out right lately.” “Do you even care about marriage?” I looked down, “I mean yeah I do but, it’s a difficult subject for me.” She nodded, “You know, marriage is a valuable commitment that shouldn’t be taken lightly.” The word commitment echoed in my head. It honestly was the biggest part of a relationship. “Yeah, so should a relationship, and look how that turned out..” 

“Let’s hope you don’t fuck up this wedding like you did the last one.” Eric said. Phil and Ari chuckled. Oh god, here we go. Jam turned to Eric, “What happened?” Damnit, don’t ask! “Well Mr. Mars here got drunk as shit the night before we we’re to perform at a wedding and showed up in just his boxers and half of suit.” Everyone shifted their attention back to me. Phil, Ari, Eric, and Ryan burst out laughing. I felt my face turn red. I flipped them off and walked over to the guitar rack. “Alright enough jokes losers, let’s BOK!”

“And who’s fault was that? Look, we all have our pit falls. You’ve screwed him over as much as he’s screwed you over. But, does that mean you stop loving each other? No. If you did, you wouldn’t be sitting here on my couch, flipping the channels, sighing hopelessly at life at the life you now have. I know you truly love him. There’s absolutely no denying that. But, you both need to learn the value in each other. That’s the key. Yes, we all fuck up and get knocked down and betrayed. But what truly counts is how you try or even attempt to fix it. Do you want to marry him?” I sat in silence, I didn’t know how to respond to any of it. But, it was all true. Yeah I wanted to marry Bruno, but we both just weren’t ready for it. She stood up, “You know just think about that.” I looked up and she walked away.

I looked down to my hands, Phil had told me once before that Bruno wanted to marry me. But, I needed to hear him say it. I needed the words to leave his lips.

We played Just The Way You Are a few times and it sounded really nice. I was excited to do it on a stage. It would be my first time performing the song, and I had something special planned out in my head. I couldn’t wait till’ next Friday.

The next day I arrived at the church. I sat in the car and took a deep breathe. It was like I could hear my own heart beating. Why was I so nervous? It was just damn rehearsals…..


Chapter 55

I sat on the bench chatting with Tori. “I am so damn glad to be here.” I smirked and nodded, “Me too kinda.” She frowned at me, “I wish you would cheer up.” I looked at her in the eyes, “Me too. I just feel like I’m missing something you know.” She sighed, “I hope you guys work things out.” I looked down, I hoped we did too. She elbowed me, “Speaking of him, there he is.” I quickly turned to the door to see Bruno walk in looking nice of course. My instincts told me to go and jump on him, kiss him all over, tell him how much I loved him. But, I couldn’t do that.

I went in and shook some hands and kept a smile as best as I could. I glanced over to a bench and saw Diamond. Our eyes locked but, I quickly looked away. I wanted to run over to her, her hug, stoke her hair, and tell how much I missed her. But, I just couldn’t. I went over and to Eric, Phil, and Phred. “What’s wrong Brunz?” Phred asked me. I shook my head and frowned, “Nothing, why’d you ask that?” He shrugged, “I don’t know, you don’t seem as happy as you could be.” I waved him off. “Na man I’m all good.” I lied. I was no where near all good, I was just about leaning towards all bad. He nodded, “Alright.”

When everyone finally got to the church it was time to start reherseing how we would walk down. As I stood in line, I remembered that I was supposed to walk down with Bruno, shit. I tapped Jasmine on her shoulder, “Can you switch me spots?” She frowned at me, “Why?” “Please, I just don’t want to be right here.” “But, you walk down with Br-” “PLEASE Jasmine, please.” She sighed, “Okay.. but I don’t understand what the problem is.” I ignored her last comment and we switched spots in line. If I even touched Bruno’s arm, I would probably breakdown, it would be best if we just avoided each other for awhile.

“Oh Diamond and Jasmine, you guys need to switch!” Carla said walking past. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Jasmine started to say something but, I cut her off. “I think we’re in the right spots..” I said looking down the line. I looked back at Jasmine she frowned at me, “What’s wrong?” I shook my head, “Nothing.. I’m fine.” I lied. Jasmine shook her head, “Your not acting fine..” I just wished this was over with already.

“Bruno..” Kameron said snapping me out of my day dream. I turned to him quickly, “Huh?” “What is up with you? You we’re just out of it.” I shook my head, “I’m cool, I was just thinking about something.” He frowned at me a bit, “Alright well make sure you ready to walk.” I nodded and lightly punched his shoulder, “I am, thanks.” I looked to the front of the line and then it dawned on me that I had to walk with Diamond. “Phil.” I whispered. He turned around, “What?” “I just remembered I gotta walk with Diamond.” He put his hands up, “Okay?” I shook my head, “No you don’t understand. I can’t.” Phil waved me off, “You guys need to cut the bullshit.” Keep cool Brunz, I thought to myself. I mean it wouldn’t be that bad. I hoped..

The line got shorter and it was almost time for me to walk out. I listened to the wedding music in the background and took a deep breath. When it was my turn I walked out and saw Phil. He quickly frowned at me, I just shook my head. We walked up and I grabbed his arm. “You we’re supposed to walk with Bruno.” he whispered. “I can’t do it Phil.” I whispered back. He shook his head and we continued in our stride. We both unlocked and walked into our designated lines. I looked up and watched Jasmine and Bruno walk down together. They both looked nervous holding each other’s arm.

When they started to walk into their lines, I watched as Carla stood on a bench. “Hold on, wait wait, stop the music please!” she said waving her arms around. The church went silent. “Somebody is in the wrong spot.” Everyone started looking around at each other. I knew it was me that screwed everything up, but I wasn’t going to say it. Kameron came and observed both lines. “It doesn’t look like anything is different to me babe.” he said looking up to Carla. She shook her head. “Wait. Bruno and Diamond, why didn’t you guys walk down together?” She said frowning.

My stomach dropped, and everyone in my line shifted their attention to me, I awkwardly smiled. Shit.

I panicked, and everyone in my line looked at me crazy, I shrugged my shoulders. Fuck.


Chapter 56

“Hello?” Carla yelled. “Sorry me and Jasmine just got mixed up.” I announced. Everyone looked at Carla. She took a deep breath, “Okay… well please get in your right spots. This has to be perfect!” We all nodded in agreement. “Now let’s do it again.” she said hopping off the bench. I started walking back out into the hall and my heart was beating really fast. I didn’t want to look Bruno in the eyes, his eyes we’re way to much for me.

I walked back out into the foyer of the church and lined up again. I took a deep breath, I was going to have to walk with her this time. We hadn’t talked in almost 2 days. I listened as the music started back up, and my heartbeat sped up. Time went in slow motion as I got to the front of the line.

I walked out and saw Bruno doing the same. I looked at him, but I made sure not to look him in the eye. We walked to each other and he grabbed my arm. The walk down the asile seemed like it took a hour. We barely even touched each other and we didn’t say one word. I let him go quickly walked into the line. Everyone frowned as me as I walked past. Jasmine leaned in towards me, “What the fuck is up with you two?” I shook my head, “Nothing.” She just rolled her eyes, “It’s fine don’t tell me!”

Eric turned to me, “What was all that about?” I acted like I didn’t know what he was talking about. “Huh? What?” “You and Diamond barely touched each other.” I frowned and shook my head, “Your seeing stuff bro.” “Me? Seeing stuff. Come on Bruno, we’re way better than that. We both know that I know when something is bothering you.” I nodded slowly, he was right. He put his hand on my shoulder, “Just get it together.” “Okay.” I knew that if we both didn’t stop acting like this then things would just get way more awkward.

We went back and rehearsed walking down a couple more times. It got even more awkward between me and Bruno. Each time we left more and more space between each other. It broke my heart into a million pieces. I never pictured us being like this towards each other. But, I had caused all of this. After we we’re finally done at the church it was time for the rehearsal dinner at the reception hall that was a couple blocks away. I honestly just wanted to go home. But, I didn’t want to mess this up for Carla. I got in my car and drove away.

I pulled up to the reception hall, got out and grabbed my guitar out of the back seat. I would get to see the stage and figure out where I wanted everything for my performance. I walked in and the food instantly took my attention off music. “Damn it smells good in here!” I said smiling. “Same thing I said!” Phil yelled holding up a piece of chicken. I shook my head and laughed.

I walked in to see food everywhere. It looked like Thanksgiving, and we owned it all to Carla’s sister Leiyah. She flew in from Florida a week early just to help Kam out with food arrangements for this. I had met her a couple times throughout the years. I went and took a seat next to her, “Girl, you threw down didn’t you!” I said smiling. “You know I had to have my peoples eating right!” I nodded, “We really appreciate it.” She smiled, “It’s nothing, thank you for helping my sister out.” “You’re welcome.”

She looked around, “Now wheres that little fine boyfriend of yours?” My smiled dropped and I started to panic. “Uh I actually don’t know.” “Never mind there he is! Hey Bruno, come here boy!” Shit, this avoiding thing was going to be way harder then I thought……



Chapter 57

I looked up to see Leiyah waving for me to come over. I saw Diamond sitting next to her, fuck what did she tell her. I slowly walked over and awkwardly smiled, “Hey, how are you?” She smiled, “I’m good man! How are you?” “I’m making it.” I said looking at Diamond. She looked away. Leyiah frowned a bit, “Well I hope everything gets better.”  I nodded, “Me too.” I walked away and went and sat in a chair in front of Phil close to the end of the table.

Leyiah looked at me and frowned, “What was all of that about?” “What do you mean?” “You didn’t even look at him.” I didn’t have anything to say honestly. “Hmm.. I guess you guys are having some problems. But, I won’t get in your business girl. I hope ya’ll work things out.” I nodded and looked her in the eyes, “Thanks.” She got up and went over and started talking with other people. I put my head in my hands, I hated this feeling. I couldn’t believe that we had got to this point in our relationship.

I glanced down to Diamond and she had her face in hands. I wanted to go and kiss her, and tell her that everything was going to be okay. I didn’t feel like myself when I didn’t talk to her. But, for the time being I was going to have to try to make it threw. I couldn’t force her to be with me. Even though it was obvious she was hurting just as much as I was. I watched as everyone poured in the hall and grabbed a seat at the table.

By the time I looked back up the table was full of all my friends. The people that I loved so much. It felt awkward not sitting next to Bruno. Carla stood up and smiled, “Alright everyone. I am so happy that you are all here today. Each and everyone one of you, I love you all in a special way. First I want everyone to thank my sister Leyiah here for making this beautiful meal for us.” She paused and everyone clapped for her. I glanced down and watched Bruno clap and smile. When he stopped our eyes met but, this time I didn’t look away. It was like I couldn’t. I needed him so bad right now.

I stared right into her eyes and wished that she was in my arms. “I can’t take it anymore!” Carla yelled. I instantly looked up to her and the room got silent. “Bruno and fucking Diamond what is wrong with you two! You’re making all of this so awkward!” I started to panic and everyone looked at the both of us. I looked back to Diamond and she was looking at everyone else. We we’re both lost for words. “Seriously, your both not going to say anything? You both are acting so childish, if you guys are mad at each other about something.. then you’re going to have to work it out right now I swear.”

I looked at her and opened my mouth but, of course no words came out. I looked around to each and everyone’s faces and the tension in the room was so high. “Can I just talk to you in private please?” I said breaking the silence. She moved her chair to the side, “Okay let’s go now.” I could tell she was pissed. It seemed that when me and Bruno we’re down we brung everyone down with us. “And Bruno, you come too.” she said pointing to him. Oh fuck, I thought to myself. I followed behind her and we went into the foyer. She sat down on the bench and me and Bruno sat on either side of her.

“Now, I need for you two to tell me what in the hell I missed.” I looked down, and Bruno didn’t say anything. “Oh my god, please guys this is ridicilous. You both just can’t be cool for my me at least? I bet you both are mad over something so petty.” she said shaking her head. “It actually isn’t petty.” Bruno said. I looked over to him and he looked away from me this time. “Then what is it?” she asked. “Our relationship is just having a pause right now, and we need to work some things out right now. It’ll get better I promise.” he said looking to Carla.

When did he become so sure about this stuff? She stood up, “Well I’m not going to sit here and make you guys love each other, but can you at least fake it or something? You’re making everything awkward as fuck.”

I looked at Diamond. She shot me a fake smile and I gave her one back. “We’ll just be nice to each other for Carla, deal?” I said. “Deal.” she said sarcastically.”Thank you!” she said walking away. I quickly got up and followed her back out into the hall. If Diamond wanted to be like that, then so be it.

I watched him walk back out into the hall. Was he serious? When did he become boss? If he wanted it to be like that, then so be it. Let the fucking games begin…….



Chapter 58

I walked back into the room and it got really quiet. I smiled, “It’s okay everyone, we’re all fine.” I looked to Bruno as I sat down, “Right babe?” He nodded, “Yep.” I stared him down, he knew what the hell he was doing. I was now going to make things as hard for him as possible.

Phil gave me a look. I leaned in towards him, “Oh don’t worry Phil everything is just fine.” I looked down to her and watched her smile to Michelle as they talked. “You look like you’re up to something..” I looked back at Phil, “Na, I’m going to just go with the flow.”I scooted myself all the way up to the table and ate my food.

After we ate I sat around talking with the girls and we all watched as the guys went up to the stage to try and figure out their places and such for next week. “You guys know we’re still going out tomorrow right?” Carla said looking to all of us. Carla had been telling us for weeks that the Saturday after rehearsals we we’re all going out to celebrate. I had completely forgot, but I had just got really excited. “Oh I’ll be there.” I said still watching Bruno. I hope he was ready for a nice surprise. Everyone stared at me, “I don’t like the way you’re looking.” Michelle said. I looked at her, “Oh don’t worry girl. Everything will be just fine.”

I adjusted the strap on my guitar and looked out to see Diamond looking at me. I frowned at her and looked back down to my guitar. I guess I didn’t realize that I was being rough with it. “Whoa there, why are you so mad at the guitar?” Phred said. “I’m not mad..” I said still looking down. He laughed, and I shot him a look. His face went blank. I glanced back over to Diamond, I guess she wanted to see a whole another side of me. She was going to get just that. Kameron came up on the stage, “We in The Vanguard tomorrow night!” I quickly looked at him, “We’re going out tomorrow night?” “Yeah man, I been telling your ass this for weeks.” I nodded and smiled, “You’re right..” That gave me an idea. “The girls going?” I said strumming my guitar. “Of course.” I smiled even bigger. Oh how I couldn’t wait till’ tomorrow night now. We continued practicing and it felt good to sing up on a stage again.

I woke up feeling well rested, even though I did miss my bed at home. I got up and and went to the bathroom and washed my face. I smiled to myself as I brushed my teeth. Tonight was going to be a very interesting night. I walked out into the living room to find Cary watching TV. “Morning Cary.” I said as I sat in the chair. “Oh good morning Diamond, how’d you sleep?” “Really well, thanks.” He nodded, “Awesome.” Michelle walked in and sat next to Cary. They kissed and it made me miss Bruno a bit but, I pushed it to the back of my mind. “Cary is going to go out with us tonight.” She said rubbing his arm. I was surprised, he usually didn’t like those types of things. “Really now?” He shrugged, “Yeah you know, I gotta get out and live a little.” I smiled, “Good. Who’s going to watch Devin?” “He’s going to over his grandma’s.” Michelle said. “Awww, that’s good.” Now I was really excited to go out tonight. It just wasn’t coming fast enough.

I wrote a couple lines down in my notebook. I had almost two songs finished that I still had no melodies for. But, I had all of the week before the wedding to work on them. I couldn’t get tonight off of my mind. I invited everyone over to my house for a little drinking before we went out. Kenji was nice enough to be our designated driver. And that mean’t that I was going to have myself a good time. I smiled to myself. A really really good time.

I went out and bought me a new dress for tonight and the whole day Michelle asked me if I was up to something and I simply told her that I wasn’t. I mean I really wasn’t, but at the same time I was. It all depended on how Bruno reacted. Tori told us that she wouldn’t drink very much tonight and that if anyone needed rides, she would help. I heard from Kam that we weren’t having drinks before we went out at my place. This only made me get even more excited.

I stood in the mirror and smoothed my dress down my curves. “Diamond you almost ready?” Michelle said walking past the guest room. “Yep!” I said smiling to myself in the mirror. I curled my hair and added some makeup. I have to say that I looked beautiful tonight. I walked out into the living room and showed myself to the girls. They all whistled and howled at me. I laughed, “Stop it.”

I buttoned up my shirt and threw on my suit. I made sure I wore the one that Diamond loved. Too bad she wouldn’t get to take if off me tonight. I grabbed my grey and black fedora and put it on. I adjusted all of my clothes and winked to myself. The doorbell rang and I went and answered it. Kam and Carla walked in with the famous brown paper bags. “Let’s get this shit started.” I said strongly……


Chapter 59

I got in the car and put my seat belt on. I looked out the window into the night sky. The stars we’re out of course I started counting them. Before I knew it, we pulled up at my house. I hadn’t been here in a couple days and it felt a little different. I got out and fixed myself up again. I wanted Bruno to be amazed.

I stood in the kitchen fixing myself some dancing juice. The doorbell rang and I went and answered it. I opened the door to find Diamond standing there looking beauitful as ever. I honestly had no words. She kissed me on the cheek, “Hi Bruno.” I smirked, “Hey.” She walked past me and I watched her. Damn, I wasn’t going to lie she got me. I looked back to the door and watched everyone else come in, “Ladiesss.” I said as they each passed me by.

I sat at the bar and shifted my attention to Bruno. Damnit, he knew what that suit did to me and that fedora. I watched him closely and he turned around and caught me looking at him. He raised his eyebrow bit his lip, and walked away. I melted, but I managed to keep myself together. If it was just us here right now, I would have jumped on him. Self control Diamond, self control.

I went over and got to know Jam a little better while I sipped on my dancing juice. Every time I talked to him, he made me a little bit more excited about going on tour. It was going to be a good experience for me. I looked around to everyone having a good time. I genuinely loved all these people here, and I was blessed to have them in my life. “Can we get some kings started or what?!” Kam yelled. I looked right to Diamond. “Hell yeah.” I said smiling. We all went into the living room and I made sure I sat next to her. If we got waterfall, I would make her drink forever.

“Thanks for sitting next to me Bruno.” I said sarcastically. He got close to me, “Your welcome baby.” I saw Michelle staring at us from the corner of my eye. I looked away and grabbed my drink from the coffee table. We started playing and when it was my turn I pulled a 2. “2 is for you.” I said looking at Bruno. He smiled and picked up his drink and chugged it, never taking his eyes off me. I knew what he was trying to do. Everyone in the room watched us closely, they knew what we we’re up too.

I wasn’t going to let her see me fail. I pulled my card and I got an ace. I showed it to Diamond, “Waterfall baby.” She clenched her teeth. I looked around at everyone, “Ya’ll ready?” Everyone nodded and I started drinking. I watched as Diamond lifted her drink up to drink too. After 5 seconds, I still didn’t stop. After 10 seconds, I saw in Diamond’s eyes that she was ready to quit. I honestly could go well over 30 seconds, but I knew she couldn’t. After 15 seconds, she stopped and so did I. I leaned over to her ear, “You better quit while you’re ahead.”

He leaned out and I frowned at him, “No thank you Bru.” The game went on, and I was getting drunker and drunker. It was finally my turn again, and I picked a 3, “Damn, 3 is for me.” I took a shot off of the table and downed it. I was honestly ready to call it quits now, I didn’t want to get too drunk. Bruno picked up his card, “2 is for you.” he said smiling at me. I shot him a look. “Would you guys fucking stop already?” Phil said. We both quickly turned to him. “Thank you, now go Michelle.” I smiled at Bruno and took my shot happily.

I was on my fourth dancing juice now, and I was really up there. I looked Diamond up and down. I was trying to figure out why she still had clothes on. “Bruno!” Phred yelled at me. I looked to him quickly. “Do you want another drink?” he said holding up a bottle. I nodded, “You know it.” I really needed to stop now, but I couldn’t. As long as she was still drinking, I was too.

I took another sip of my drink. “I’ll be back.” I said getting up. I went to the bathroom and used it. I looked at myself in the mirror, I was really drunk. I took a deep breath and washed my hands. I would be fine, I had everyone with me. I turned off the light and opened the door. I went to walk back to the living room and someone grabbed me.

I quickly turned to and Bruno and he pushed me up against the wall next to our bedroom. He stared me down and bit his lip. I looked into his eyes and I started to lean in to kiss him. He dodged my kiss and went straight to my ear, “If I we’re you, I’d runaway baby.” It sent chills down my spine. I closed my eyes, and he kissed my neck. He backed away and smirked, “Cause’ I already got my spell on you.” He turned and walked away. I stood there frozen. Did he really just do that?……



Chapter 60

I went back and sat on the couch. I felt proud of what I just did. I watched as she walked back in, she seemed to be a little bothered by what I had did. I smirked at her as she came and sat back down. “You alright baby? You seem a little flustered?” She frowned at me as she fixed her dress, “I’m perfectly fine.” I laughed to myself and turned back to everyone else. We we’re all pretty fucked up. But, I still really wanted to go out.

I called it quits on drinking. I didn’t care if I lost against Bruno or not. I was way past my limit and we hadn’t even got to the place yet. After 15 minutes, we we’re all ready to get going. When we all got outside I looked around for Bruno, I wanted to sit by him in the van, but I knew that would lead to other things. I finally saw him locking the door. I went over to him and tapped him on the shoulder, “Who are you riding with?” He smiled, “Oh why? You wanna sit next to the Brunz?” I rolled my eyes, “Maybe.” “You can sit with me, but you can’t touch me.” I looked at him in mock horror, “Wait, what?” He walked away and went and got in the van, of course I followed him.

I went all the way to the back and sat in my same ol’ spot. I turned to find Diamond coming in right after me. I raised an eyebrow, she was really trying to get me. She came and sat next to me and our thighs touched. “That’s all that can touch me.” I said pointing down. She waved me off, “Whatever Bruno. I don’t want to touch you.” I laughed, “Alright.” The car started and I sat back and looked out the window.

I looked over to him and watched as his skin and eyes glistened in the moonlight. Why we’re we even doing this to each other anymore? I honestly felt like quitting. He was too much, and now that I was drunk I had no control over my thoughts. He turned back towards the front and I looked the other way. I couldn’t believe how childish we we’re being. But, I had to hold out.

I looked at Diamond’s thighs out the corner of my eye. I just wanted to kiss all on them. I was starting not to be able to control myself anymore. The drinks, her dress, it was getting to me. I gave up. I put my hand on her thigh and started going up. She instantly looked at me and I put my finger up to my mouth signaling for her to be quiet. She slowly nodded and I stared her down. I licked my lips in anticipation, I needed to feel her lips on mine. I leaned in and right before our lips met she turned away. She grabbed my hand and and gently put it down on my lap. “No touching remember.” she whispered to me. I damn near lost it.

He turned the other way, I knew he wanted me just as bad I wanted him. But, he was going to have to learn. It was so fun messing with him. We sat in silence the entire time till’ we got to the club. It was awkward, but I made it. We got out of the van and all walked as a huge group over to the V.I.P. Bruno used his fame and got us all in with ease. I loved when he did things like that. Michelle was instantly at my side. “Stay close please.” she said walking over to a table. I watched as Bruno walked past crowds of people. I wanted to know where he was going. “I’ll be right back.” I told Michelle walking away. “Damnit girl, what did I just tell you!” I looked back to her, “I’m fine!”

I went over and sat next to a group of girls. They all shifted their attention to me. “You look really familiar..” one of them said pointing to me. I pointed to myself, “Me? Oh na, I just got one of those faces.” “No, no you’re a singer.” another one said. “But, which one?” I said smiling. The girl closest to me kept looking at me and I put my seducing face on. She looked me up and down and I did her the same. I had no idea why I was being so frisky all of a sudden. “Bruno Mars?!” one of them said jumping in her seat. “Ding ding ding.” I said spinning my finger. They all started laughing. “Nice to meet you ladies.” The one closet to me touched my arm, “No the pleasure is mine.” I gave her a look. I kind of wanted her.

I don’t know if I had walked the wrong way or what, but I didn’t see Bruno anywhere. I looked around and finally spotted Kam and Carla. I walked over next to them and let the music take me away. “Diamond? What are you doing here?” I turned to see Deondrea standing there with his arms wide open……