Chapter 5

07/08/2011 23:35

5. You wanted to know 

(suuperlongoneee! so sorry !!!!! ) 

 I got in the car when she was seated.  It was a silent ride. Every time I looked at her a tear rolled down her beautiful face.  Phil already knew what was going on cause he spied on us the whole time. We were there. I got out of the care and she also did. ‘I’m sorry.. I really don’t want you seeing me cry..I’m not like this at all..I’m a tough one..I usually don’t cry..but…all these emotions I just..’ I looked at her ‘I get it…don’t be sorry for something you didn’t do.’ I repeated her words from the cemetery. A slight smile started to grow on her face. ‘I know..stupid’  I took her hand. ‘come on’ she smiled at me again and we walked our way to the apartment. We were on the third floor with me still holding her hand. ‘I knew it, you are dating him!’ I smiled it was Dorine. The sweetest granny in the world. ‘no we’re not.’ She said while she chuckled. ‘Bu..’  I interrupted her ‘She’ll explain later Dorine…’ I smiled at her ‘well okay then.’  she walked away. Alissa opened the door. I walked in and looked around. ‘wow…it looks way better than before!’ she smiled at me ‘thanks, we selected designs from some store and they said everything would be done if we got here.’ She took of her jacket and threw it on the couch. I frowned and doubted if I should’ve took mine of too but..I decided to keep it on cause I felt uncomfortable throwing my stuff on someone else’s couch. ‘do you want something to drink?’ is what she asked like nothing happened 15 minutes ago. ‘..no I’m good thanks..’ I looked at her trying to unzip vest she was wearing under the jacket. She looked at me ‘..help?’ I laughed.  ‘Is it stuck?’ she looked at me ‘Yes..’ I laughed ‘Sorry’ I walked my way over her and tried to unzip her zipper. I looked at it. She laughed ‘you’re an idiot.’ I frowned

‘I’m an idiot? You were the one who couldn’t unzip the zipper.’ We laughed.

Alissa’s Mind:

‘Oh, I see the problem..’ I laughed  ‘well then fix it doctor bru.’ He giggled ‘I like that..say it again’ he looked me in my eyes we were just a few inches away from each other . ‘Make me.’ I said playfully.

He chuckled ‘you make me.’ He was still figuring out how to unzip the zipper.  ‘got it.’ He said while smiling and letting go. ‘Thanks doctor bru.’ He smiled ‘how do you keep yourself from bursting into tears...’ ‘oh..yeah right..you wanted to know.’  I said when I sat down. He sat right next to me placing his hand on my leg. ‘You really don’t have to.’ I looked at him ‘no..I..I want to tell someone.’   He looked at me ‘are you sure I’m the right one?’ I looked at him as well ‘I’m very sure about that..’

He nodded at me as a sign that I should begin it was quiet for a little while but then his phone rang. ‘SERIOUSLY!?’ I yelled. He laughed while he looked at the caller ID and then his smiling face turned into an emotionless face. ‘W..what?’ I asked a little scared for an answer. ‘It’s the hospital..you should take it..’ I looked at him ‘ME!? WHY ME!?’ he looked back at me ‘…well it’s about your sister for sure..I shouldn’t be the one to answer it…’ I hesitated took the phone and answered it. ‘Hello?’

My throat was completely dry, when I swallowed it felt like I swallowed a rock. ‘do I speak with..Mr. Hernandez?’ I looked at Bruno and whispered ‘Sexy last name.’ He smiled at me and threw a pillow at my head like we were best friends for years…but I just know him 2 days..’ the phone made noise so I put it back to my ear again. ‘No…your speaking with Mrs. James.’ I heard the doctor cough ‘that’s even better! I have great news for you, your sister is fired.’ I looked at Bruno wide eyed ‘she is what?’ Bruno laughed and he whispered. ‘That means that she can go home.’ The biggest gay smile popped up on my face ‘WHEN IS SHE COMING!?’ the doctor laughed cause I guess he could hear my excitement ‘She’s on her way, we got a taxi for her..’  my smile got even bigger  ‘OKAY THANKS!’ and that’s when I hang up. ‘Sexy last name…Mrs. James’ he laughed. I smiled ‘SHE’S COMING!’  he smiled again ‘I told you it would be fine!’  I laughed ‘no you did not’ I smiled and hugged him. It was the best feeling in the world when you need a hug and you hug someone and then that person  holds you even tighter, that was the feeling I got when I held him ‘you smell good.’  Is what he said. I laughed ‘you too, you smell like home.’  He frowned ‘home?’ I laughed ‘Hawaii…like the mango’s, the coconuts , the palm trees.’

He smiled ‘wauw, you have one weird little nose.’ I looked at him ‘question time.’ I said.  He smiled ‘ok…you first..’  I looked at him with a fearless face ‘fine..’ he grabbed a pillow and just held it ‘favorite color?’ I answered quickly ‘red’ he smiled ‘hobby’s’ he said I answered him quickly again ‘Ballet and Hip Hop.’ He frowned ‘…you dance?’ I smiled ‘I’ve been doing ballet since I was 5 and Hip Hop since I was 12. And yes …I dance’  I smiled ‘favorite food.’ He asked ‘no comment’ I said. He laughed ‘that’s not how it works!’ He said. ‘But I can’t choose so…no comment.’ He smiled ‘okay, okay…what do you hate. This was a hard one…I mean what didn’t I hate. ‘like..should I list them all for you?’ he smiled ‘all of them’ I had an impenetrable look on my face. ‘desperate people, fighters , birds , rumors , Justin Bieber , Squidward , dog poop on the streets , attention seekers , and ducks..oh man I hate ducks.’ Bruno cracked up ‘WHAT!?  DAMN , YOU’RE SO SCREWED UP!!’ he laughed ‘pff! Dude you wanted to know.’ He smiled and stopped laughing wanting to breathe ‘I know..it’s your turn though.’

Bruno looked me right in my eyes ‘bring it.’ I smiled in an evil way. ‘favorite animal or animals.’ ‘Monkeys and Squirrels. ‘ I laughed ‘favorite music’ ‘Doo-wop music.’ He answered. ‘why are you in the music business?’ ‘because I want to become a singer.’ I frowned ‘sing me a song.’ He smiled and started singing my favorite song of all time :

Micheal Jackson’s The Way You Make Me Feel.

 

Hey pretty baby with the high heels on , you give me fever like I’ve never ever known.

You’re just a product of loveliness , I like the groove of your, walk your talk , your dress.

 

And that’s when he skipped to the chorus

 

The way you make me feel  , you really turn me on.

You knock me off of my feet now baby, My lonely days are gone..

 

‘wow.’ Is how I reacted ‘I just fall in love with your voice it gave me goosebumps.’ he smiled ‘thanks.’ ‘Wow.’ I said again just sitting there wide eyed staring at this perfect god of sexiness. ‘Stop that..you’re scaring me’ is what he said smiling a little it was his side smile he had allot of smiles but this one was my favorite.

An awkward silence got between us. I looked around the living room again. The furniture was black & white. And the walls were painted Brown and Soft white. It turned out so beautiful. The couch was huge and just when I thought I had something to say he interrupted me. ‘When I lived here it looked like a rat hole.’  He looked at me. But this time it got scary for me, it was like he was studying my soul. ‘..w..what..’ I said with a high squirrely voice.  Bruno laughed ‘nah, it’s nothing.’ I looked at him and said ‘fine.’  I looked away again.  He laughed at me.  And not with me cause I didn’t laugh anymore. The biggest pain wave shot like a rocket right through my body it hurt so bad. I gasped , froze and silently squealed. I put my hand on my head cause that’s where the pain stopped. Bruno looked at me worried like shit ‘ARE YOU OKAY!? ‘ I didn’t look at him, I didn’t say a word either. I couldn’t blink, it felt like I was paralyzed for a second. I couldn’t control my body in any way. I couldn’t  scream when I wanted to, I couldn’t ask for help when I needed to, I couldn’t  do anything. I just sat there wide eyed.  And all of this happened in one or in a maximum of two seconds. Bruno looked at me worried sick. I blinked and looked at him ‘w..what happened?’ he asked. I looked at him while trying to breathe ‘I..I have no idea…’ tears started flowing of my face. ‘What’s wrong with me?’ I asked him while I looked in his eyes. He could see I was hurt. It was like he could see what I have been through my entire life.  I know I wasn’t normal, I have never been. I could look someone in their eyes and they could read my past. It was so obvious somehow. I’m pretty good in hiding it. Only when I dance I take my mask off. In real life I act. I admit it. I act my life. But when I’m with him… it’s like he Is the only one who had the guts to remove the mask from my face. ‘…god you have been through so much..’ he said.  ‘you’re so strong but yet you are so vulnerable. ‘ he sighed. ‘ that sentence really described who I was.  The door opened ‘HELLO FOLK!’ is what Joelle said when she walked in full of excitement.  She saw us on the couch, frozen. No emotion. ‘guys..calm down.. I’m alive…’ I saw her there. But I was just to shocked to respond in a happy way. Bruno leaned on the many cushions and took his hand through his perfect soft looking hair. ‘hey’ he said ‘sup.’ Is what Joelle said. She walked her way to me and snapped her fingers so I would wake up from my trance. I looked up to her face. ‘YOO! I’M ALIVE. You know you should be pretty happy about this..twin.’ she sighed.  She looked at me ‘wait..you told him?’ I looked at her and stood up in front of her immediately. ‘no.’ I answered her and hugged her very tight.  She hugged me back. Bruno stood up ‘I better get going..’ he said and gave me a friendly inviting smile. He walked away but I stopped him. ‘wait!’ He turned around I could see the question marks popping up above of his head. ‘thank you…for everything.’ I hugged him, he hugged me back again. He smiled at me . But he also had a look on his face like he didn’t deserve the love. ‘no..thank you’ is what he said. ‘you opened another door in my heart’ he smiled. ‘I’ll call you.’ And that’s when he let go and walked out. I stood there still frozen. Joelle laughed and started making fire work noises ‘Love, love , love…what have you done to my sister.’ She laughed at me. I blushed . ‘shut up’ Joelle started laughing again ‘So…you like him don’t you?’  I blushed ‘ wasn’t that obvious fuck face.’ Joelle cracked up for I think about five minutes. ‘WAUW! THAT WAS YOUR BEST INSULT SO FAR.’ She giggled a little ‘welcome back.’ I said while frowning. I smiled. ‘Isn’t it a little corny that you fell in love with the guy who saved our lives.’

I threw a cushion at her face ‘I’m not in love..I like him’  Joelle laughed ‘yeah right..and I’m death.’ She said in a rude sarcastic way. ‘Well you almost were!’ She laughed ‘so that means that you’re almost in love!’  I let myself fall onto the couch ‘That’s doesn’t even make sense sister.’  She sighed and sat right next to where I was laying. An awkward silence came between us but then she looked around ‘…we have a nice house.’ She said while standing up and touching almost every little detail on the dresser.  ‘I..I did tell him a little about my past.’ I said. She turned around ‘dude…you know the guy for only two days!’ I looked at her ‘I know but..he’s different.’ She sighed. ‘He sure is..he looks like a little player. And little is what he is. ‘No he is not!’ We started arguing ‘SEE!’ she yelled ‘WHAT SEE!?’ she sighed  ‘YOU’RE DEFENDING THE DUDE!’ I looked at her mad. ‘SO!?’ she sat right next to me again and grabbed me by my shoulders ‘YOU’RE MADLY IN LOVE WITH THE GUY!’ I slapped her hands of me ‘stop saying that.’ She had her serious face on. ‘always denying it…you are always denying it…just like when dad killed mom. You were denying that too!’ I talked calmly ‘ok..you made your point..but please…don’t ever remind me of that again..’ she realized what she said to me. ‘…I..I’m sorry..’  I wanted to say ‘it doesn’t matter sis, everything is going to be alright..we will build a new future in this city…a new home with new friends and new opportunities’ but..I didn’t cause..I’d lie. ‘Joel..I was there when he raped her and then..shot her..I can’t get those horrifying memories out of my mind.  My heart was pounding, tears started rolling down my cheek again. The salty taste of my tears tasted bittersweet. ‘I could’ve saved her..I could’ve jumped in the middle of it and die.’ Is what I said. ‘you’re sounding suicidal..wait..you aren’t thinking that…do you feel guilty about this?’ I nodded. I wiped away my tears, but it was no help because new tears started rolling down my cheeks. ‘I could’ve done something’ she took my hand and held it very strong ‘no you couldn’t! You were six! What could you have done at the age of six…nothing’  I sighed ‘I don’t care I just want to go to bed. ‘ since I didn’t care about anything right now I did pick a room. It had allot of windows and a balcony and a huge bed. I let myself fall onto the bed and I started humming myself in sleep while  my tears were still flowing.