Chapter 56-59

Chapter 56

After doing my first show in Indonesia we we’re finally heading over to the Philippines. I was set up to do a photo-shoot for a clothing line that was big over here. Taking pictures was starting to be a less and less worst, but it sometimes depended on why I was taking them. If this was going to help out me getting my name out there, then I was going to do it. When we checked my album sales yesterday, they we’re doing a hell of lot better than they we’re before. If it keeps up, then by this summer Barry will have no reason to drop me from the label. All I can do is keep praying, and singing. I had about 8 more shows until I was back home getting ready to tour the U.S. all over again. The good thing about this time, is that I would have Diamond back with me again.

—————————————————————————

April 10th, 2011

This tour has been no where near as worst as the last one, and it was shorter. I don’t think my girls really know how much I appreciate them for keeping me busy throughout these weeks. I’ve been doing a lot of partying and it doesn’t help me forget that Bruno’s gone but, it just helps. I just can’t wait to kiss him all over his face when he gets here in 8 days. I can really tell that he has honestly changed his ways. He calls me way more often then he used too. Sometimes you just have to face the facts. Even though I don’t like thinking about it, I bet he messed around a lot on his last European tour.. I just feel like it. But, this time around he just stays in and tries his best not to get wrapped up in the mess and I really really love him even more for changing. Everytime I find myself getting upset, I just put my hand with my ring on it on my chest and just breathe in and out. Each time I feel a lot better afterwards.

Last time Bruno called me, he told me that not only was Phil going to be a daddy but Eric was too. Of course I told him that he was next, and he didn’t say anything but, I knew that he smiled. I was actually pretty happy about all the kids that we’re coming into our lives, it just mean’t that our generations would keep growing and growing.

I’m too excited to go back on tour with the guys again. We would be traveling to some beautiful places that I had only dreamed of going. This year was already starting off wonderful, and I knew that it would only keep getting better and better. The more I turned on the TV and the radio, the more I heard Bruno’s name and his songs being played. I know for a fact that he was making it, and there was honestly no stopping him now.

——————————————————————————

“But, you still haven’t told me about the show?” I said as I laid back in the lawn chair. “Ahh babe.. it was live.. I can’t get over how many people know the lyrics to my songs you know.. I wrote this stuff.” I smiled from ear to ear, “I know Bru.. and you deserve it.. every bit of it..” “And this is only the start.. this is just the beginning..” I just kept smiling unable to stop, I was just happy and that’s what I needed. “So you know.. we got a week today right..” “Really? Oh my god.. I had no idea..” I said sarcastically. He laughed, “Don’t give me that shit.” “I love you Bruno..” I said softly. He made a kissy noise at me threw the phone, “I love you more babe.” After talking about food for the next 15 minutes, I let him go and sleep. I set my phone on my leg and let my chair back more. I looked up to the sky that was light purple with dark purple clouds. I could of the palm trees blocked me from seeing the entire sky, but it was just enough. I decided that I would lay there and wait for the stars tonight. And then I would go on my daily search for that one that shined brighter than the rest.

“But you ain’t trying to bet tho’!” I said as I threw my hands up. I watched as Phil and Phred quickly went threw their jeans pulling out their wallets. “I mean money isn’t a problem son..” Phil said holding his in the air. “Let’s do this shit then..” I said moving over to the table. Phil grabbed the deck of cards before he sat down. They had been talking shit about cards almost this whole tour but, we never got down to playing them. After a couple of rounds, I sat there losing money of course while they both kept adding more and more dollar bills to their piles. “You ain’t tied of losing yet?” Phil said from behind his cards. “No.” I said sternly. I watched him out of the corner of my eyes as he elbowed Phred, “Look at his face..” he said under his breath. I reached up and ruffled my hair around a bit, trying to pay them no attention. At the end of the night, I lost about a good $100 but, it was fun. I was better off at the casino.

The last week has went faster then all the rest of them. I spent today cleaning up the house, and washing clothes. I even got a chance to go out and buy some groceries. I laid there looking up the celling unable to sleep from so much excitement. Bruno was finally coming home tomorrow and it seemed unreal. I laid on my side looking over to his side of the bed. I smiled to myself as I looked at his only hat that he had left here on his nightstand. It was one of his older brown hats that he didn’t wear to often but, it still fit him very well. While I was sleeping, he would already be on his way back home. I closed my eyes tightly just trying to make myself pass out. I was so tired, but my thoughts just wouldn’t let me sleep. I was like a anxious little kid who was going to disney world tomorrow. After moving my thoughts to Hawaii, I finally fell asleep.

I played with my ring as the pilot made his announcements. I looked out of the window next to me and seen the airport just in view. I closed my eyes and smiled, I was finally here. If me and Diamond got threw these last two months, then I knew that we could get threw anything. “Man.. you know how long it’s been since I did the nasty?” Phil said taking me from my thoughts. I quickly looked over to him, “What?” “You heard me..” I laughed, “Man you is crazy!” “Don’t give me that shy boy shit.. you know you gonna throw down when you get home right?” I laughed and nodded, “You know me.” “How fast can we get home!” he announced. I just shook my head, what would I do without Phil man. As soon as we touched down I quickly unbuckled my seat belt and got up. I grabbed my carry on bag and made my way off of the plane behind everyone.  After being stopped more then 5 times I finally got back out into the Los Angeles heat.

I sat there into a crime show on TV when my phone rang startling me. I grabbed it without looking and answered, “Hello?” “Babe…” Bruno said sadly. I snapped my self out of the show, “Yes? What’s wrong?” “I won’t be able to come home till’ tomorrow..” I frowned, “What? Why? Oh my god.” “There was screw up with the plane and.. a bunch of other stuff..” I took a deep breath, “Well you know that fucking sucks..” “But, I’m not sure if it’ll be tomorrow either cause’ you know Asia is a far way..” I put my hand on my face, “You know.. I was really looking forward to seeing you in like an hour..” “I was too..” There was a light knock at the door, “Hold on babe.. someones at the door..” I straightened my clothes a bit as I got up and walked over to the door. I held the phone on my shoulder and opened it to Bruno standing there with my favorite fedora on smiling like a fool, his arms stretched out wide. I instantly started smiling as well, he was finally here….

This chapter is dirty, you have been warned. o.O But, enjoy!

I closed my eyes and fell into his arms and he squeezed me tight. I took my time, taking in his scent and his body warmth. “Finally..” he whispered as he put his face into my hair. We stood there for a little while just swaying back and forth a bit. “You didn’t have to play that trick on me.. now I’m all emotional..” I said as I wiped my face as we unlocked. He laughed as I moved out of the way for him to come in. I closed the door behind him and put my hands into my pockets as he set leaned his luggage against the bar. He stretched, “So good to be off that damn plane..” “I know right how long as it..?” “I don’t know felt.. like 2 days..” he said laughing. I smiled and walked over to him slowly. He turned to me and reached up for my face and kissed me passionately for the first time in months. I couldn’t put into words how much I had missed his sweet lips. As we unlocked from that kiss, he kissed me again softer this time. “Thank you for being so strong babe..” he whispered just a inch away from my face. “You’re welcome Bru..” I whispered looking him deep into his eyes. His eyes, they always told me exactly how he was feeling. Up until the day that I lost him, his eyes would forever be with me. I felt his hands move down to my hips and he dug his thumbs into them when I didn’t expect it. I instinctively grabbed his arms trying to pull him away as I laughed. “I’ve been waiting to do this!” he said threw his laughter. I finally got my chance and broke lose from him running into the living room area.

I smiled from ear to ear as I followed her. She quickly grabbed a pillow, “I’ll do it.” she said with a playful smirk. I titled my head a bit and gave her a look, “What is that gonn—” Before I could get my sentence out the pillow was already in the air. It hit me right in the face knocking my fedora off. I looked down to my hat and the pillow on the floor in mock horror. “Oh so you wanna play like that right..” I said looking back up to her. She put her hand over her mouth laughing. “I get home and this is the first thing I get..” I joked as I walked towards her. She went around one side of the table and we ended up chasing each other around the coffee table like little kids. I finally reached out and grabbed her as I fell into the chair. I pulled her onto my lap and we both bust out into laughter. We knew that we we’re too old for this, but it was just so fun. I looked down to her, her head resting on my arm. I reached down and with my other hand and moved some of her hair from her face. “Look at you..” I whispered out the side of my mouth. She looked away for a moment and then back to my eyes. We both just stared and I slowly leaned down and kissed her. She grabbed my face and ran her fingers right behind my ears. As we unlocked I moved from her jaw down to her neck, kissing her as softly as I could.

I closed my eyes and bit my lip as I felt his hands start to roam all over my body. I had just missed this so much. I felt his warm hand go underneath my shirt and rub my stomach. As his hand got lower, his kisses turned into sucking. I let a moan escape as I felt him go inside my underwear. He leaned out and looked me in the eyes as he slipped his fingers inside me. He bit his lip and just looked at me with that determination that I loved. He moved deeper every time he went in and out making me moan softly. He just kept looking back and forth from down below to my face. I closed my eyes and started to moan his name as I felt a climax building up. I felt his lips against mine once again and I couldn’t help but moan into his mouth. He slipped his tongue in and moved his fingers even faster. He stopped right as I was about to cum and just looked me into the eyes. I hated when he did that because I knew that he was just observing my faces that I just couldn’t control. “Come on babe..” he whispered as I threw my head back. I clenched onto his shirt with one hand as I came hard. “Now you’re ready..” he whispered as he removed his hands from my shorts.

She sat up on my lap and I reached down and helped her pull her shorts and underwear down. I kissed all over her neck as she kicked them off. I pushed her up a bit as I reached down and unbuttoned my jeans quickly. I lifted up and pulled them and my briefs down to my knees edgar to be inside her. I grabbed myself as she slowly sat down onto me. I let out sharp breaths and she grabbed my knees and started to ride me slowly. I put my arms around her squeezing her stomach as she went faster. I put my face into her back opening my mouth trying to catch my breath. I just sat there frozen from the pleasure that I was getting. I slid my hands down to her thighs gripping them as she grinded against me. I started moaning her name into her back and she would moan back. Her moans started to increase and become louder. “Damn babe you gonna cum again..?” I said out of breath. She dug her nails into my knees telling me that she was. I slid in and out of her and without warning she came again and she damn near sang my name. I widened my eyes, “What was that..” I said softly. “I don’t know..”  she said her voice shaky. I moved my hand up to her waist and grabbed her as I pushed myself out of the chair with the other hand.

He pushed me up and slowly moved us over to the couch. I felt his breath on my neck as my knees sank down into it. I grabbed onto the couch with my hands as I felt him start to thrust. I put my head down as he started to get deeper. I could hear his belt hit up against the couch after each stroke. I felt his hands on mine as he started to hit my spot over and over. “Fuck Bruno..” I whispered into the couch. “God I missed you so much..” he said threw his teeth. He put his face into my neck and started letting moans escape. Our moans chased one another and it echoed a bit throughout the house. He moved one of his hands down to my hip and started to speed up. The harder he hit me the louder my screams got, and the deeper he got. I started to get a mixture of pleasure and pain that left me in complete shock. I opened my mouth and bit into the leather couch as hard as I could as he kept moving in farther then he should go. “Babe.. I’m trying..” he moaned. I just closed my eyes and took each stroke as much as I could. I was guessing that he could tell that the pain was increasing.

I kept going and going but, for some reason I was no where near being done. I listened to her moan into the couch and I opened my mouth changing up my stroke trying to make it easier on her. I moved my knees more into the couch accidently pushing myself all the way into her. “Oh my god!” she yelled moving her head up from the couch. “Waittt, don’t move please don’t move..” I said pushing her down on me. I rarely went this far into her because I knew how much it hurted. But, she felt so tight around me and I couldn’t move. I stopped, “Baby.. I’m just gonna ask that you let me do this.. this one time..” She put her head back down, “You’re way too far in though..” she responded. I started thrusting again and she winced in pain. “I’m sorry..” I said as I started to speed up. I really needed this right now though, it had been too long for me to stop now. “Bruno I can’t..” “Yes you can..” I whispered as I kept going. I knew this was surely going to hurt her later, but I would lay off for awhile after this.

I pushed my face down wincing in pain. I hated when he did this, I really did but, I couldn’t stop him right now. I would hate for him to not get his after he’s waited this long. I kept myself as still as possible so that he would hurt me more then he already was. “Almost there babe..” he whispered out of breath. I knew that he was getting the utmost pleasure right now and I loved it. “God baby you’re so tight..” he moaned. “Bruno please.. hurry..” I pleaded. He grabbed my face and pushed it up, kissing on my neck again. It helped a bit and I started to moan softly. “Here we go..” he moaned his voice shaky. I called out his names several times before I felt him explode inside me, and it was a lot. His thrusts slowed down and he collapsed onto me. “I am going to fucking feel this tomorrow morning..” I said a bit frustrated. He slowly pulled his self out of me and I squinted a bit when he finally got out. “I’m so sorry baby.. I swear I am..” he said as I heard him pulling up his pants. I slowly moved myself from the couch almost falling over. I finally looked up to his face and I could tell that he was really sorry. “I love you..” he said with a smile I just couldn’t really be upset with. I smiled a bit and nodded too, “I love you too Bruno.”……

The next two weeks I got back to my routine. Studio till early morning hours some nights, and partying the others. From time to time I found myself on the internet checking out how many views my new music video for The Lazy Song we’re getting. I put a lot of time in the video but, it honestly just wasn’t my favorite song. I felt like I could have did better with it, but everyone else liked it so I just kept it to myself. Everyday was something new and I was being called to do everything from photo shoots, to nightclub parties, to promoting. Things we’re really starting to get busy for me. Diamond and I we’re of course spending less time together, but it really didn’t effect us. Even though she had been acting a little different since our last time, I wasn’t the one to actually say something to her about it.

I was just happy I had found someone like her in my life who understood that I was becoming a celebrity now. I was already scared enough and she just made everything right. I was slightly upset that we hadn’t had sex since the first day that I came back but, I guess that it was my fault. I kind of wished that we could before we left on tour because after we get on the tour bus with the guys, there was no telling when we would get another chance.

“Hey babe.. do you wanna go out for dinner tonight?” I said as I flipped threw the TV channels. “Na.. I really don’t feel like it..” she said from the bedroom. “Well.. do you want me to order pizza..” “No thanks Bru..” she responded. “Okay..” I said to myself. “Well.. your man is hungry!” I announced. I heard her laugh and I just smiled. She came and put her arms around my neck kissing my ear, “What you wanna eat..?” I widened my eyes, “Shit.. are you on the menu..” I whispered. She laughed as she let me go, “Not today..” I turned around to her, “But babe.. I really think we should do it tonight.. because we’re leaving tomorrow..” She shrugged, “Bruno.. I just don’t want too.” “But, why? I know you’re fine by now.. I know you are..” “And what if I wasn’t?” she said frowning. I just shook my head and turned around, “Alright then.. whatever..” We had, had this same conversation now every night for about an week. I would even come home late and crawl into the bed with her ready, and she would still leave me hanging. I had really wished I hadn’t done what I did now. “I’m sorry Bruno okay..” she said softly. I shrugged, “It’s okay..” I lied.

I went threw the fridge taking out some stir fry that I would whip up quickly. I had felt a little bad since I hadn’t been cooking dinner and doing the usual things I have been. But, I just haven’t felt myself. I just needed a good night sleep I kept thinking to myself as I cooked. After we ate he helped me clean up the kitchen in almost silence except for the clinging of the dishes against the sink. I decided I would call it a early night and surprisingly he turned off the TV, following behind me. We both stripped down and he crawled into the bed before me holding out his arms. I smiled as I crawled in with him, he kissed my forehead, “Love you baby..” I took a deep breath, “I love you too Bru..” “Look.. I don’t wanna pressure you or anything.. so I’m gonna be patient.. I’m sorry..” I shook my head, “No.. I’m just feeling differently lately..” He took a moment to say something, “About me or..?” “No.. I just don’t know what it is, but maybe I need to sleep on it.” He reached over and turned the light out on his nightstand, “Okay babe..” he whispered. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes even though I knew I wouldn’t sleep with all of this on my mind. I honestly didn’t know what was wrong, and I couldn’t control it. I had nothing to worry or complain about but, in my heart I just felt like something wasn’t right.

“Back to the grind..” Bruno said hitting the wall as I followed him back to the bunks. I smiled a bit as we pushed our things back under our same bunk that we had at the end of last year. He turned to me and raised an eyebrow, “You ready for this babe?” “No the question is.. are you ready?” He grabbed at the collar of his shirt and looked up proudly, “Been ready..” His first show was tonight in New Meadowlands Stadium. We would be in New York just about this whole week before we headed over to Boston again. I sat there off into my own thoughts as the guys sat there and talked about random things. I was there and listening, but I wasn’t actually there. I had, had an idea for over a week now. I had only talked to my mom about it and I wasn’t going to tell Bruno right away because I didn’t want to scare him. I was actually scared myself because it felt real this time.

I opened my eyes as I unlocked from a goodbye kiss. “Love you babe.. see you after the show..” he said with a smirk. “Bye Bru..” I said smiling. He stepped down out of the bus and turned to me, “You sure you don’t wanna go?” He shook my head, “Na.. I’m gonna pass this time..” “Alright..” he said turning to walk. I started to close the door but, he turned back around again, “You sure you’re okay baby?” he said a bit concerned. “I’m good.. you just focus on your show babe..” “Let’s go nigga!” I heard one of the guys yell. “Alright..” he said softly as he turned around to walk. I closed the door slowly and took a deep breath as I turned to the empty tour bus. I had been waiting all day for them to leave just so I could have some privacy when I did this. I walked back towards the bunks, my heart damn near pounding out my chest. I pulled my purse from off the bunk and carried it with me into the bathroom. I set it on the shelf and went over to the sink. I gripped it and looked up to myself in the mirror. I honestly looked terrified for my life. I turned to my purse and pulled out the plastic bag.

“And I promise we will be back, very very soon..” I said to the crowd as I dropped the microphone down from my mouth. They cheered and I scanned across their faces just taking in the moment. I would never get tired of doing this, not even a little bit. “I’m Bruno Mars.. I love ya’ll goodnight.” I said as I put it back onto the stand. I jogged off of the stage into backstage. I could hear them still chanting my name. ‘Bruno.. Bruno.. Bruno..’ I smiled as I put a towel to my face. This was such a fun show. It was just something different about performing in New York. I guessing it just felt something like home since my dad was from here. I waited patiently as the guys came back as well. We all congratulated each other on yet another successful show. I spent the next hour showering and getting all of our equipment together to go back into the bus. I was near 1 A.M. by the time we finished.

I stepped up into the bus behind Kameron and went straight to the fridge. I grabbed me a cold water from it and drank as much of it as I could in one breath. I heard the play-station come on in the back room already. “Let’s do it Brunz!” Jam called out. I smiled as made my way threw the bunks to their voices. Diamond grabbed my shirt just as I was about to walk threw the doorway. I took a couple of steps back, “Sorry about the noise babe..” “No.. come lay with me really quick Bru..” she said softly. “Alright..” I said a bit concerned. She scooted back towards the wall and I crawled in front of her. She looked she had been crying. “Is everything alright?..” I whispered. “I mean it is.. I’m supposed to be happy.. but I’m not..” she said grabbing my shirt. I looked down to her hand and then back up her face, “What are you talking about..?” I said confused. “I knew it.. I had just knew it..” she said as she started to cry. I pulled her into my chest trying to cover up her cries, “Hey hey.. shh baby..” I really didn’t like when she just started crying on me when I had no idea what was wrong. But, I comforted her as much as I could rubbing her back. I went down to her ear, “I can’t help you unless you tell me what’s the matter..” I whispered. I let her go a bit and she looked up to me with tears in her eyes. She just started nodding and I opened my mouth, “What? I don’t understand..” I took a moment and scanned threw my thoughts. My jaw dropped, “Are you serious..?”……

Chapter 59

She nodded again, “Yes Bruno… yes..” “You’re not fucking with me right now are you..” I said seriously. “I’m pregnant..” she said the words echoing in my head. “Holy shit..” I whispered. I had not prepared myself for this day at all. “But.. baby why are you upset? I’m so confused.” I said grabbing her arm. “We’re not even married Bruno.. this isn’t right..” “But… I thought you wanted this.. I thought.. it was okay..” “I do.. I really do.. but this is the wrong time.. you’re dead smack in the middle of touring..” “Do you know for sure..” “For sure..” she said exhaling. I closed my eyes, this day in my life was already here. “Oh my god..” I said. “And I thought my birth control was okay when you had came home..” I quickly opened my eyes, “Shit.. I was so far in that day..” “I know..” she said raising her voice a bit. “Fuck.” I said. “I’m so sorry Bruno..” I pulled her into my chest again, “No.. baby don’t be sorry.. we’re gonna do this.. we’re adults.. and we’re ready for this… we got it.” I said trying to reassure the both of us. That was a big thing, being a dad and all but, I was ready. We had time to get married, things would be okay, everything would fit into place. “I promise you baby.. we gonna do this right..” I said as I hugged her close to me. I didn’t care that I was in the middle of my tour. I didn’t want her to be upset about it. In my eyes everything happens for a reason and if this needed to happen now then God said so.

————————————————————

May 19th, 2011

Wow, where do I start.. I haven’t wrote in almost a month. Well.. when we finally got a chance I made sure to stop at a clinic even though I knew we we’re on the road. I had brang up the idea of me just going back to L.A. but, Bruno wouldn’t let me. He told me that he wanted to be there for everything, so I just said okay. The doctor said that I was doing great so far and that I should read over all the guidelines in the papers she had gave me. Tomorrow I would be 1 month, and it looked like it was going to take forever for the day to actually come. The next time I went to the doctor they would be able to give me my acutal due date. Everytime I told someone new they we’re just overjoyed that it was finally happening. Bruno’s mom damn near almost made me cry with her words.

In news aside from myself, Carla had her beautiful baby boy and girl on the 12th. I had pictured myself babysitting them but now, I would have a little baby of my own. At least all of our kids would grow up together. I loved how all of us we’re all around as Kameron was on the phone throughout the delivery. I had never seen him so emotional before, it was pretty intense. In another month we would be heading home before the guys took yet another trip to Europe. Even if Bruno wanted me to come, I would stay home just to get myself ready and comfortable. We both would have a lot of work to do getting that back room ready to be a nursery.

All of those times I had thought about having Bruno’s kids, all these years it was finally happening. He told me as long as I was happy, he was too. I just wondered what was going threw his mind knowing that we wouldn’t have sex for awhile. He never really told me about his true deep feelings unless he slipped up saying them when he was drunk, so I had no idea. I wasn’t scared at all knowing the fact that I would have to give up certain foods, and drinking. I had wanted this for just so long and it would really bring the both of us together. He was going to be a perfect dad, I just know it.

——————————————————-

City after city, night after night. Everyday my morning sicknesses was getting worst and worst. Not to add I was picking up the pounds like crazy. Bruno was just a bit bigger then me so some days I would wear the extra flannels he had laying around. I would wake up in the middle of the night with intense pains that made me just want to bust out into tears. But, Bruno would be right there kissing me, calming me down until I fell back asleep. I sat back in the couch letting the fan blow onto me, the summer wasn’t waiting around for anyone not to add that we we’re in Arizona now. I breathed in and out as much as I could just trying to keep cool. I was so glad that I would be back home in my own bed the day after tomorrow. Of course this tour was no where near as fun as the last considering that I was going threw a pregnancy. “You alright?” Bruno said sitting next to me handing me a bottle of water. I nodded as I took it from his hands. I drank as much of it as I could feeling sweat pour down the side of my face. I turned to him and he just had a look on his face. “What?” I said frowning. “Nothing.. ” he said looking away. “Okay..” I said looking the other direction. “You know.. you don’t have to be so rude.. I was just looking for a thank you..” he said. I turned to him, “Thank you Bruno.” I said strongly. He got up setting his water on the table, “I’ll just be back.” “Where are you going?” I said watching him walk towards the back with answering me.

I pulled my cigarettes out of the pocket of my shirt as I pushed the back door open. I stepped down out of the bus carefully and lit my cigarette and started pacing a bit. Diamond had kind of been a complete different person in the last month. I knew that it was all because she was pregnant but, it was hard sometimes. I tried my best not to get my feelings hurt when she didn’t do the little things for me that she usually did. Anytime we started to argue I would just end it because now she was always right. I dumped some of the ash from my cigarette, I hated that I would have to go through this for 7 more months, but I loved her and I was going to be here no matter what. We had our sweet moments where I would just put my hands on her stomach hoping to feel something, but she just wasn’t far enough yet. We had started to think of names last week and I kept thinking of boy names since I really wanted a boy. But, she swore up and down that it was a girl she was carrying. I smiled to myself as I paced, me having a little girl. That would be a lot to deal with but, she would always be my little girl no matter how old she got.

I had been letting my drinking get a bit out of control because of the stress, but I had always made sure that I was safe. I was a little bit passed sexually frustrated at this point, but I got a few out every couple of weeks when no one was around. It was nothing compared to the real thing, but I was willing to wait for her. After getting all my thoughts together I finally opened the door and got back into the tour bus. We had one show tonight and then another in Las Vegas tomorrow before we would be heading on back home. I had a huge list of things to do when I got there and getting ready for my kid was number one. I took a seat next to Kenji who was reading something on his phone. “Sup man..” I said putting my arms up on the back of the couch. “Just checking up on my daughter.. she’s getting so big..” I smiled, Kenji was so soft spoken and never really said anything unless he was asked. However, the band just wasn’t the same with him. “How do it feel.. you know being a dad?” He laughed, “It’s one of the greatest feelings in the world.. to hear her call you daddy.. it’s amazing.” “Aww man..” I said looking to the front of me. “You’ll find out just what I mean..” I nodded slowly, “I know.” I was excited, but I was nervous. I was def anxious and I can’t even put into words how horny I am. Time, time was now my new enemy.

“How’s Devin..?” I said spinning a straw in my milkshake. “He’s good.. been asking about you ever since I told him you we’re having a baby..” “Oh my god..” I said laughing. “He’s like.. but mommy.. I’ll have someone to play with now right?” I laughed again, “But, that’s so cute!” “Tell me about it girl.. but how are you?” I took a deep breath, “I mean I’m fine.. it seems Bruno is doing a lot worst then me and he’s not even the one pregnant!” She laughed, “Don’t worry Cary was the exact same way.. but I knew he was fine..” I shook my head, “Na.. we’ve been arguing a lot.. and I’m sad to say that I’ve been the one starting some of them..” “But.. why though?” “Girl.. I’m fucking moody okay..” “Whoa there.. okay..” she said sternly. “But.. you know I’m not a bitch..” “Oh I know.. but, don’t push him away..” I sipped my milkshake a bit before I spoke again, “I’m not.. he just ends them anyway..” “Good.. when you go to the doctor again?” “I get to go to my actual doctor when I get back to L.A. I’m going to go that next morning..” “Okay!” she said cheerfully. “I know.. I’m excited.. and horny.” “Awww shit.. I don’t wanna hear that!” I laughed. “Goodbyee!” she said laughing as she hung up. I set my phone on the table shaking my head. I finished my milkshake quickly and made my way to the bunks for a well needed nap. Hopefully my stupid pains wouldn’t wake me up, I was just so exhausted from doing nothing. I rubbed my stomach a bit as I drifted off into a deep sleep…..