I throw on my ripped skinny jeans and a plain white top, put my makeup on, fix my hair and go downstairs. I find plates of food everywhere and Bruno sitting at the table eating a huge plate of pancakes. “What the!?” “Lex your mom came and made us breakfast! Maaaan she can really cook” Bruno says while he helps himself to more bacon. I open the fridge to give Bruno some juice, the only juice I have is Cherry juice, that’ll have to do. “She left?” I ask “Yeah she had to go to work or something” “And I see she’s left me all the clearing up. Is Cherry juice ok?” “Yum, I love Cherries, join me” he says with a smile and I oblige. I see everyone else sunbathing in the yard by the pool, I’m glad they’re outside so me and Bruno can have some more alone time. This food actually is amazing, but I realise I haven’t eaten in a while; I really start to get in to my food. “That’s what I like, a girl who can eat!” “You aint seen nothing yet” I say with a wink. “So did you talk to my mom?” I shovel food in. “Yeah, she’s so nice, it’s hard to believe she’s your mom, she didn’t come across as motherly” “Yep, that’s my mom” “Oh and she dropped your dog off too, that dog is awesome!” That’s right! Ahh my poodle Chewie, I love that dog, if no one else has been there, she has. “She’s normally not friendly to strangers, was she ok with you?” “Yeah, I was playing with her right before you came down” Bruno likes dogs! And he was playing with mine, that thought makes him even more attractive. I have issues, the slightest thing he does turns me on. “I had a great time last night Lex, I haven’t had fun like that in a while” what does he mean? Don’t he and Emma go out together? Just as I’m about to reply Bruno’s phone rings. He mouths the words “Oh Shit” It’s Emma. I know it. “Listen Lex, I gotta go, I’ll see you at the studio later, we can finish that song” before I can reply he’s out the door. I run over to the window to try and hear his conversation. “Hey Emma” I knew it was her. “Yeah we had a long night of working in the studio. No, it was just us guys, yeah I’ll be over soon” And he gets in his Honda civic and drives off.
Why is it that he has a girlfriend!? Why is it that he’s not interested in me!? Why do I always fall for guys that are no good for me!? It’s not fair, we all deserve to be loved right? Everyone else is happy and with someone else, my heart breaks at the thought that me and Bruno will never be. What if I don’t ever find anyone? I’ll be alone forever with Chewie. A single tear runs down my cheek. I hope Bruno’s happy with her, even if I’m miserable at least he deserves to be happy and have only the best. I make my way back upstairs and decide to sleep this heartbreak off, but first I light my cigarette up. I realise that I haven’t had one for a while, that’s strange, I’m usually a chain smoker, I guess when I’m with Bruno I forget about smoking.
I wake up and I feel slightly better, my house is empty, but sometimes it’s good to have an empty house, I look at the time and its 9pm, fuck. I was meant to be in the studio at 4 but to be honest, I really needed a good sleep to get my thoughts together. I don’t think I can handle all this “stuff” with Bruno. I mean I know nothing is happening between us, but I can’t go on seeing him everyday knowing that we have no chance of being together. It’s not fair. I don’t deserve this. He needs to pick either me or Emma. I actually have no idea where my phone is either, I’m pretty sure I’ve got tones of missed calls but if anyone needs me they know where I am. I change in to my hot pants and sweat shirt and settle down to watch a movie. I decide to snuggle up on the couch with Chewie and watch Sandlot. I love this movie.
About halfway through the movie, I see headlights pull up in front of my house. That car looks familiar. Please don’t be who I think it is. My heart starts to race and I feel like I could throw up. Why is my ex here!? I’m really scared now, and there’s no one here with me to help. It looks like he’s just waiting outside. Good, I told him not to step foot in this house ever again. I decide I’m going to be strong and just face him. I open the door and go outside.
“Hey Lex! How about a kiss?” “Fuck you Jake, what do you want?” “Yeah, how about the rest of my shit you slut” I really hate him, I don’t know what I saw in him before. He’s been drinking I can tell. “I don’t have any of your stuff Jake. Now leave” “Oh but you do have one thing that’s mine” “and what’s that?” “YOU” what an idiot. I turn around to go back inside but he’s already grabbed me by the arm. Without looking at him I say “Let go of my arm Jake” he starts to squeeze it. “JAKE LET GO! OUCH!” “Not before I get a kiss Lexii” he turns me round to face him and pushes me against the door. I can feel his disgusting intoxicated breath all over me. He tries to kiss me but I just squirm out of the way. “DAMNIT LEX! LET ME FUCKING KISS YOU!” He lifts his hand and slaps me right in the face. Before he can hit me again I knee him in the balls, run inside and lock the door. “Fine Lex, I know you still want me! It’s only a matter of time before you come crawling back!” he shouts as he makes his way back to the car. I can’t contain it. I open the door and scream “YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE, LEAVE ME ALONE!” Just as I say that, I see the guys pull up in their car, Ray and Phred know that Jake being here isn’t a good sign, they instantly get out of their car and run up to him. While the others run up to Jake, Bruno runs up to me. “Baby are you ok!?” Baby? He says it with a pained expression, my face must be red. “He did this to you didn’t he!? I’ll fucking kill him” Bruno runs up to Jake.
Chapter 8
I try to pull Bruno back but he’s too strong for me and runs off to Jake, Phil see’s him coming so he grabs Bruno and restrains him. Jake notices Bruno and instantly Phred grabs Jake and restrains him too. Jake spits out “So you’re the new flavour of the month ehh? She’s nothing special dude, don’t waste your time on that slut” “Phil let me go! Don’t you EVER talk about her like that again or I’ll fuck you up so bad that you won’t even be able to whisper her name” I know Jake and he’s scared of fighting, he’s all talk and no action that guy. “Fine, I’m going, watch out if she wants to play the “fire engine” game dude. See ya later Lex” Jake says with a wink. “Like hell you will” Bruno spits out. Phil and Phred let them both go. “Just one more thing *he turns and looks at Bruno* Best fuck I ever had” I lose my temper “Hey Jake! Remember Andy? Your best friend? Yeah I fucked him too, while we were still dating, best fuck I ever had” I yell back at him “YOU FUCKING WHORE!” Next thing I know Jake is on the floor and Bruno is clutching his fist in pain. Bruno punched Jake! I just want to run up to Bruno and hug him, but I can’t, he’s not mine to hug. I run back inside, shut the door and sit in front of it clutching my knees. I can’t control the tears anymore. Why did Jake have to come here tonight? Why did he have to say all those things? Why did Bruno have to get involved, I’m so happy he did what he did, but why!? WHY GOD DAMNIT!? Why does he put me under his spell like this!? I’m going mad from all this stress. I can’t take it anymore. It’s either me or Emma; it’s not fair to lead us on both like this. That’s how I know Bruno doesn’t like me, if he did then he would have broken up with Emma. I’m clearly not what he’s looking for.
I hear a knock at the door “Baby let me in” Why does he have to call me that? I like it, but I like it too much, I’m not his baby. “Lex, I really hurt my hand, please” I let him in and see that he really is in pain. He wipes away my tears with his other hand and just hugs me with all his might whilst stroking my hair, this hug was different from the last one he gave me out in the yard. This hug feels like he’s giving it with all of his love. I melt in his arms and start crying again, I’m such a mess. Such a stupid fool for falling for such a perfect guy. I realise Bruno is still in pain and reluctantly let go. “Let’s go and sort your hand out” I take him over to the sink and put his hand under cold water. It’s really swollen. I touch it and he flinches. I gently graze my fingertips over his knuckles where I can see slight bruising. He must have really hit him hard. I continue to move my fingertips all over his hands barely touching him; I gently blow on his fingers to hopefully ease the pain. It doesn’t look like anything is broken. I look up to tell Bruno and see his head thrown back and his eyes closed with a satisfied expression on his face. “Bruno?” “You don’t know how good that feels Lex” I smile and place his hand back under the water. “It doesn’t look like anything’s broken, but you must have hit him really hard” “How long were you dating that jerk for?” “On and off for a year” Bruno looks away from me “Lex, I can’t even tell you how much I wanted to hurt him after I saw your face, no one lays a hand on you, no one. Has he done that before?” I nod “It was why we broke up, well, it was why I dumped him. I don’t think he ever got over the fact that I did” Bruno tries to clench his fists again but stops before he realises that he can’t. I just stand in silence and let Bruno regain calm. “You know, when I was a kid, my sister threw a hairbrush at me and broke my nose, it hurt like a bitch” He says while laughing. “And you know what my mom did to help with the pain?” “Oh shit, pain killers, let me get you some” “No, well, I mean yeah, they would help but she did something else” I give Bruno some pain killers, even the way he drinks water is irresistible, the way his neck moved while he swallows. “What did your mom do?” “She kissed my nose and it made all the pain go away” Why was he telling me this? Does he want me to? “Would she do the same now?” “She would” What a tease! I gently life Bruno’s hand and give all of his fingers the most seductive kiss I can without actually making out with his hand. Bruno’s breathing deepens and he alters the way he’s standing. He swallows and looks in to my eyes. “You really are beautiful Lex” he moves a piece of hair from my face and moves his head in closer. I know where this is going. I feel his sweet breath on my face, his nose grazes mine. Just as our lips are about to touch, I pull away.
Chapter 9
“Lex I thought you liked me?” Bruno says with a hurt expression. It pains me to have to hurt him like that. I look away from him “I do Bruno, I really, really do, but I can’t, not when you’re still with Emma. It’s not fair to both of us” He sighs and turns me round. “Do you realise how much of a good person you are?” He says as he looks in to my eyes, I feel myself move in again as he moves closer. I shake my head to clear my thoughts. “Bruno I can’t! I’ve been on the other end before and I know what it’s like” “What do you mean?” “Bruno, I’ve been cheated on before, I know what it feels like and yes. I don’t like Emma, it’s obvious, but I would never wish that pain on anyone” I’m nearly reduced to tears again. “and I know it sounds childish, but it’s got to be either me or her” He runs his good hand through his black curly hair “Lex, please don’t make this harder than it already is” “Then make a decision Bruno” “Baby it’s you I want, it’s always been you, ever since the moment I saw you through the glass, it was you I wanted, I know it sounds ridiculous, but I just can’t break up with her just like that” At this my heart smashes in to pieces. I always knew that I wasn’t good enough for him, but to actually hear him say it is just a whole nother level. “I understand Bruno” I whisper. He takes another deep breath and hugs me again, this hug is different, it doesn’t have the same warm fuzzy feeling as earlier. What have I done? He kisses the top of my head and leaves without saying another word.
As soon as Bruno shuts the door I fall to the floor and just start to cry, I don’t even care how loud I’m crying I just know I can’t keep all of this in anymore. I’m almost at the point of screaming. I manage to pull myself up and go turn my music on. I don’t even know what it is but I just turn the music up loud and try to drown the whole world out. I realise that Christina Aguilera’s song “Walk Away” is playing. I start singing to it at the top of my lungs, the lyrics are so perfect to what I’m feeling now “And it hurts my soul, cause I can’t let go all these walls are caving in I can’t stop my suffering I hate to show that I’ve lost control cause I, I keep going right back to the one thing that I need to walk away from” That’s it, I just need to walk away from Bruno, it’s clear that he doesn’t want me I need to stop dwelling over this. I turn the music off, close my eyes and fall asleep to the sound of my tears falling to the ground.