When we pulled away he put his arms around me. I’m a complete fool for telling my life to a person ive only known for so long.
“penelope, I cant JUST be friends with you”
“what do you wanna be then?my boyfriend?Friend with Benefits? Fuck buddy?”
He bursted out laughing. I don’t get whats funny.
“hmmm.. All of the above”
“did you just ask me to be your girlfriend,and a fuck buddy with no strings attached? HELL YEAH!”
“cut the bull crap….. Penelope would you kindly my girlfriend?”
“let me think about it.”
“WHAT??! Why?” he looked at me hurt and I was getting upset.
“it just… I don’t know. I just don’t know okay. I’m a emotional wreck. Who cries about everything. I’m not good enough to be in a relationship with someone as wonderful as you” I said finally saying the truth. I hung my head down and he lifted my chin up.
“Don’t ever say that again. It more the other way round. You will NEVER be not good enough for me.Your to good for me. Please babe don’t think that” he told me his expression was pure anger. I hugged him but he was still tense.
“what’s a matter?” I ask
“your just amazing. I can’t believe you thought that”
“well, people tell me all the time that I’m not good enough.”
He looked at me and I leaned in to kiss him again.
His body relaxed a little but I can tell his still mad.
“Y’ALL DONE WITH YA SNOG FEST?” phil shouted
“NO,WE’RE GOING TO HAVE MAD CRAZY SEX NOW ON THE STAIRS!FEEL FREE TO WATCH” I shouted back.
“babe.. Are you serious cause I’m TOTALLY up for it” Bruno said
I started to laugh so hard and let that comment slide.
“ARE YOU COMING IN OR NOT?” I heard phil shout again
“c’mon let get up, we’ll talk about this later” Bruno stood up and extended his arm out to took my hand and pulled me up. Still holding hands, we went into the studio.
Bruno sang more songs leaving me mesmerised. When they finished recording and coming up with some lyrics, Bruno dropped me home.
I went into my house, changed my clothes and watched Teen Mom when I heard my house phone ringing.
“is this Penelope?”the unknown person asked
“yes, and this is?”
“This is Margarette Ali Genesis”
I only know one person with that name, I dropped the phone.
I hung up, then it started ringing again, I answered.
“Hello Mother” I said coldly as tears ran down my face. I was 13 when I last heard her voice.
“Hello Penelope, it’s been years” my mother answered cooly. I wanted to punch her so hard.
“I guess your old now, I’m glad. Your’ll die soon” I was crying harder and all I wanted to do is call Bruno.
“That’s no way to speck to your mother”
“you might have pushed me out but YOU are not my mother”
“how did you get my number?” my lip was quivering, I just hang up on her and sat on my stair case with my head in my hands. I was perfectly happy 2 seconds ago. The house phone rang 7 times before she stopped trying. I looked at the caller I.D and it was unknown number. I grabbed my blackberry and ringed Bruno.
“Hey babe” i heard him say
I started to cry all over again.
“what’s a matter? Penelope answer me please your making me nervous.”
I just couldn’t speak.
“Penelope?” he sounded worried.
I looked at my phone
Silence as I heard my blackberry the floor.
All I heard was all sorts of sounds.
“PENELOPE!” I shouted and the line went off. I ran to my car and drove to her house.
I ran up the stairs into my room, I opened my window and I climbed out. I sat down on the ledge with a cigarette in my hand and a bottle of Jack Daniels and my blade. I lit my cigarette and drew it in as I let the smoke escape my mouth; I drew the blade across my wrist and I kept on doing it.
Up and Down. Up and down.
I wonder what hell feels like because it feels like I’m in it.
I wonder, if I die now will their be not pain?
“I wonder..” I said out loud.
I was slipping in and out of reality.
“I wonder if heaven is all it’s cracked up to be”
I was talking to my self as i had swing of my Jack Daniels, I stubbed out my cigarette. I stood up and looked at the moon. It’s was a full moon, I touched my locket and stared at the moon. I took a step forward towards it.
“it’s so pretty” I said to my self
“I want to touch it”
I park the car and run out to see penelope on the roof if her house walking towards the moon. She was close to the edge.
All I could hear was
‘I want to know what heaven feel like’
“PENELOPE” I shouted
She looked at me with tears in her eyes.
“DON’T DO IT”
“BECAUSE I CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT YOU”
“YOUR LIFE WOULD BE SO MUCH VETTER WITHOUT ME.Let Me go Bruno, do t try and hold on to me. I’m a mess”
I ran to the door and it was open, I ran into her room and out her window. And up to were she was standing.
“I cant take it anymore Bruno, I really can’t”
“your not alone Pia, I’m with you and I’ll always be with you”
“you don’t understand, your’ll never will”
“I can’t if you don’t tell what’s wrong. Please come inside” he sounded Luke he was going to cry.
She’s got to come in. I’m close to tears, I can’t imagine what would happen to me if she’s drops and dies. I would.. I cant even think about it.
She looked at me and slowly made her way to me and then stopped.
“I don’t trust you” she said
” because I don’t trust myself”
“But you can trust yourself with me. I promise”
“don’t make promises you cant keep”
“please just come here”
She walks over to me and I catch her in my arms I back-up into her bedroom with her still in my arms till we drop on her bed.
It’s dark in her room.
She’s kisses me and I kiss her back. The kiss starts to deepen and I slid my hand in her shirt.