I sat on the toilet... the little white stick i had in my hand... i could breath i could breath... my chest felt as if it was about to cave in on my heart. Who knew that a little white stick with two lines could change ur life in less then 5 minutes. "Pregnant" i said to myself, trying to make myself believe that this was really happening.. why now...why is this all happening right now?? this couldn’t wait?? I had so much planned... WE had so much planned out... i guess God had something different in mind. sighing i stood up sitting the pregnancy test on the counter... how was i gonna tell him?? Oh god what about his dreams... did i just screw all that up for him??? The feeling of my chest about to cave in got stronger as i looked at myself in the mirror.... "Way to go Navaeh..." I sighed to myself once more before washing my hands. How was i going to break this to him, how would he take it... so many thoughts ran through my head as i washed my hands trying to figure things out. My thoughts were cut short when i heard the elevator doors open. He was home.
"Babe!!" His cheerful voice entered our studio apartment.
"Bathroom!!" I called out quickly hiding the life changing stick in my makeup case, something he didnt dare look in.
Moments later he appared wearing that famous smile of his, the one i fell madly in love with just a year ago. "What are you doing beautiful." He kissed me... those lips... oh how i love those lips.
"Nothing." I shook my head lying... i hated lying to him... that’s why i never did it. "Just had to use the little girls room." I smiled, "Can i do that??"
He chuckled, "Of course, what did you do all day??"
"Paint." I shrugged walking out of the bathroom, him behind me. "How was practice."
He sighed running his fingers through he thick black curls. "It was nice, just ready for things to pick up ya know."
"Yeah." we both sat down on the couch he rested his head on my lap looking up at me. Those brown eyes looking back at me... i fall in love with him everytime i look into them. "Things are going to get better." I played with a few of his curls.
He sighed, "I know... u won’t leave me if it doesn’t, would you?" He played with my free hand.
I chuckled, "I’ve been here this long Bruno... why would i leave now?"
He shrugged not sure of why he asked the question himself, "I just don’t want you to feel like I’m pulling you along on this dream I’m trying aiming to make reality... I just need u to bare with me..."
I touched the side of his face, "I am... I’m not going anywhere."
We didn’t have much, but we had enough, we had each other.. we had great friends and wonderful families. Both chasing dreams, we knew we had to make come true or our lives wouldn’t feel right. His dreams were to become a singer who touched the hearts of everyone who heard him. Mines was to become an artist, whos art hung up all over the world. He was closer than I was. No one seem to like my different view of art. "They don’t know what they're missing out on." He would always tell me after a rejection from an art gallery. I fell back on my dancing though... it help pay the bills, but it only held a part of my heart while art held the rest of it...
"Good thing it’s only the two of us... right now at least." He said sighing with his eyes closed.
Quickly I looked down at him. "Wh...why do you say that???"
He opened his eyes. "Because, i wanna have enough to give our little one everything they need and more... we can’t do that right now you know."
Slowly i nodded. "Yeah." I felt sick... i didn’t know if it was the baby or becuz of what he said... all i knew is that i felt sick... sick to my stomach... i can’t tell him... i can’t tell him now...... i can’t tell him at all for that matter........
Being awaken out of my sleep, i jumped out of the bed Bruno and i shared and ran to the bathroom sticking my head in the toilet throwing up everything within. I hated throwing up, the before and after was a sucky thing. Spiting on last time i flushed just as Bruno walked in, wearing nothing but his boxers. Yawning he scratched his head squinting his eyes to the light.
"Babe, what’s wrong??" He helped me up.
"Think it’s something i ate earlier." I wiped the side of my mouth going over to the sink and quickly brushing my teeth.
"You gonna be okay? You need me to get you anything?"
I shook my head and continued to brush my theeth.
I nodded once more, spiting. "I’m fine..." I was lying even the taste of this toothpaste was making me want to throw up once again.
He nodded leaning up on the door frame, looking at me through the mirror. I finished brushing turned and looked at him, giving him a "Wat?" look. "If something was really wrong... you'll tell me right?" He asked looking into my eyes as if he could read my soul... which he could.
Trying to block him out i nodded, "Yeah... why wouldn’t i?"
He shrugged. "I don’t know... just asking."
"Well." I pecked his lips. "You have nothing to worry about... I’m fine."
He looked at me and rose his eyebrow. "Did you just kiss me with throw up lips?"
I chuckled. "I brushed."
"But you still just threw up." He laughed a little.
"You'll get over it." I pushed him to the side and walked past him.
Bruno came behind me and wrapped his arms around me still walking with me over the bed where we laid down, his arms still around me. Bruno buried his face in my neck softly humming a tune. I looked out the window, the moon and stars were big and bright. I felt my eyes get blurry... tears slowly ran down my cheek... i can’t lie to him... i have to take care of this... i have to get rid of this baby... before it’s too late. .......
"Yo- You’re what??" My best friend Morgan looked at me with wide eyes her Hazel eyes looking into my honey and green ones.
I sighed. "I’m pregnant."
She sighed and placed her head up against the mirror wall in the dance studio. "Wow..." Was the only thing she could say. "Bruno knows?"
I shook my head, "No."
"Why haven’t you told him?"
"Cuz i don’t know how..."
"Bruno I’m pregnant... doesn’t seem that hard to me."
I sighed. "You know what i mean... we had all this planned out... he was going to get signed, i was gonna have my own gallery, be married, be settled and THEN we would start a family."
She nodded. "But things don’t always go as they plan yeah.. if it did we would have our own dance studio by now instead of working in this one."
I nodded. "True..."
"So... when you gonna tell him??"
I shrugged. "I don’t know... don’t think I am."
Morgan slowly looked at me. "Navaeh... u’re not thinkin about doing what i think u’re thinking about doing... are you???"
"I have no other choice Morgan."
"The hell you do!" She yelled getting upset. "We don’t believe in that... and what will Bruno think... have you even THOUGHT about what this could do to him?? You don’t have to worry about this baby killing his dreams... cuz him finding out that you took away something of his away from him without him even know is gonna kill him! You know that Navaeh, why in the hell would you wanna do that to him??"
Tears poured down my face, she was right... if Bruno ever caught wind of this he would die. What was i suppose to do though?? He said it himself that we weren’t ready for this... maybe if we had been a little more careful that night this wouldn’t had happened. But no we just had to get caught in the moment. Damn him and his soft lips and his amazing hands. "Ugh!!" I buried my face in my hands as Morgan hugged me.
"It’s going to be okay momma cita... Bruno loves you and his gonna love that baby just as much. You know him too well to think that he's gonna react in a crazy way."
"What about his dreams, the band.... oh god they're going to hate me." I cried harder.
"You know anything Bru wants he gets, this won’t stop them from reaching their dreams and the band loves you like u’re their little sister... Phil already said he loves u more than he loves Bruno anyways." She laughed a little causing me to laugh a little as well.
"Ahh man..." I ran my hand down my face. "I just need time... just a little time."
She nodded. "I'll give you that," She rubbed my belly. "I’ma be a auntie."
I chuckled. "You’re stupid... i don’t even think it has ears."
"Doesn’t matter, we already have a connection."
I couldnt help but to laugh. That’s why i loved Morgan, other than Bruno she was the only one that could make me feel better... the only one that could stop me from talk me down from the edge. Where would i be without her?
"She's how many months?" Morgan asked more shocked than i was. It had been 2 weeks since i found out i was pregnant. I still haven’t been able to tell Bruno, everytime i build myself up to tell him i chicken out. I needed to tell him soon before Morgan did.
"She's two months and 2 weeks." Dr. Goldstein replied with a chuckle
"Wow..." She replied staring blankly at the ultrascreen.
I laughed a little. "Shocked much?"
"Yeah." She laughed a little.
My cellphone began to ring Morgan handed it to me. "Bruno" flashed across the screen. I looked at Morgan stunned. "It’s Bru."
Her mouth dropped. ".... An... Answer it."
Quickly i nodded and answered it before he hung up. "Hey sweetie."
"Hey babe, have you seen my hairgel?"
I chuckled. "You’re calling me for hairgel???"
I could tell he was smiling on the other end. "It’s for the gig tonight and i need it... sooo have you seen it???"
"Yeah it’s in my haircase."
"Thief... taking my hairgel." He joked.
"You weren’t using it."
"Yeah becuz someone told me that i couldn’t walk around with them looking like i was stuck in the 50's or something."
I laughed a little. "I like your little doo woop do.... when you perform... thats not a everyday hair do babes."
"Yeah whatever." He chuckled. "You and Mor-A-Gan still coming tonight right??"
"Wouldn’t miss it for the world my love."
"Nice!!" He smiled. "But i gotta go, gotta meet up with the guys at the club to set up."
"Kay babes love you."
"Love you too babe."
We hung up from each other.
Morgan clapped. "You played that off goooooooooooood!"
I laughed. "Shut up..."
"So I’m guessing the father doesn’t know." Dr. Goldstein smiled as she cleaned my belly of all the cold gel.
"Umm no he doesn’t.... Keeping it a surprise."
"That’s nice." She smiled.