Hey, let me warn you... bruno isn't here until chapter 2... but i hope you can still enjoy the story while his character is waiting in the wings...
I manage to roll over and give my lover a weak smile.
'Barely.' i nudged him playfuly 'You kept me up all night'
He smiled back at me, the creases at the corners of his eyes folding onto one another, then carefuly rolled out of bed. i sighed. It was sad that it wasn't the sex that kept me up all night(probably more like what put me to sleep), but his snoring... you still, though, had to love the old man for his efforts at retaining a youthful grasp on life...that was, of course, the only reason he had this curious affair with me...well, his only reason. mine is just a bit more complicated...
"remember the affair we're supposed to be attending this evening, love." he said as he got dressed
"love", the one thing that wasn't my excuse for my strange relationship choices. i brought back to mind the first time i ever dreamed of being with someone so different from me; not just in age, but in educational and social marking as well.
i was raised in a poor farming family with little knowlege about anything but country life, but i was smart enough to try to leave before i was caught up in the things that slow someone like me down...
i left home at eighteen to go to New York, the only place that i thought could save me from anything, including farm life. when i got there though, it wasn't exactly like i hoped; it was miserable, and hard and cruel and the only happy people, i realized, where the people with money, something i had little of. i gave up on myself almost, when an older gentleman came across me on the streets and offered me a place to stay i couldn't thank him with anything of monitary value, but i was young, and sweet, and innocent...
"when you're ready to leave, call me on my work phone an hour early...it's the only line i'll answer,probably" he said
'mm-hm' was all i could manage.
well, my first older 'suitor' taught me quite a bit; about life in a big city, and how to talk, walk, act like you were somebody. one day, he told me something i think i'll never forget. he was pampering me, loving me, caring for me. he told me, actually, that I taught him this:
"God, music, family, and friends...everything else will fall into place"
he was not religious,nor a musician; i was his only family, so how did that apply to him or me?little did i know, things would fall into place without him around...
"well i'll see you tonigh beautiful, take care'
i realized that i could have a good system going. after the life lesson, he(i can't remember his name to this day) decided it would be fun to go to a night club with me. i agreed without hesitation. i ran into a young gentelman who i talked with for awhile...then drank with...then left with...then slept with. my older lover was heartbroken and so was i.he was my first true love who i couldn't(at least i thought i couldn't)bear to loose. but i did. he put me out the day after. but he left me with all of the lovely extravigances he bought me during our affair... i kept most, pawned some, and moved into a smaller apartment... then i met another gentleman at a local coffee shop. same thing. we stayed together for a month, then broke up because of a one night stand i had with a stranger. then i realized it could always be this way. i gain what i can from one older man for about a month, then at some public affair, cheat on him with a younger man, then move on. at this juncture of my relationship with my lover, he's pushing me to phase two steadily...
i pick up the phone. it's some automated voice system from the host for this next function; giving the list of names of people to look forward to seeing. i let it play. half of these people were on tv and magazines and had already announced their attending this affair.
'lady gaga,katy perry...'
i stopped listening. it didn't matter who was there, i just needed on guy to help me get my vicious cycle going. the younger guys are easier to deal with; they weren't used to commitment and usually settled for the one night stand that was offered. they could never say no to me anyway. one of the many things my...gentleman friends taught me...
'be sure to be at the annual-'
i hung up the phone and got out of bed. as i stood in the body-length mirror nearest to my bed, i thought of all of the men i've had, the family i left, the sacrifices i've made. i was lost; but the feeling wasn't new...i just had the habit of acknowlaging it every morning. i knew who i was when i was luring in a new older man to be with-i was sophisticated, witty, secure, and sweet. i knew who i was when i was luring a man my age- fun, outgoing, charismatic, sexy, and charming. but who was i without either of those men? all of the things my affairs with high-society older men have taught me, and not one of them was about myself; pleasing myself, being myself; it was all about the other people. the names i heard on the tv screen and radio, the faces i saw on the cover of a magzine. when would i have the chance to learn about me?maybe i'd learn a little bit through the eyes of a new younger man...
We arrived at the gala extremely early. most poeple wouldn't see the purpose in this, not even my suitor understood why i would want to arrive so early... i was here so early, dressed in a black, open-back dress that reached about mid-thigh, to set my bait up. i watched the people slowly trickle into the large area. it was outdoors, but there were gates to set boundaries for the paparazzi. i watched the people slowly trickle in; then whole casts from movies, tv shows, and all kinds of musicians, dancers, writers and so on came pouring in; all attempting to be 'fashionably late'. it made me laugh a little bit to myself, thinking of all they can go through for just one night. my lover put his hand on my thigh and wispered in my ear,
'if it's getting too crowded, we can go somewhere else tonight,"
i smiled sweetly and batted my lashes. he had no idea.
'i'm fine if you are love,"
he smiled and began to socialize. perfect. i too, began to mingle; first among my socialite girl friends, then i moved on to the main event. the men here, at a first glance, were indeed, stunning; but that's not what i was looking for.not dressed up and ready for action, those got too much attention. i needed a laid-back man, whose absence wouldn't be caught too soon by anyone of consequence. these affairs aren't the ones that needed to be seen, not by my standards. i glanced from one side of the courtyard to the other. the sun was setting and the lighting was perfect; i learned to use everything to my advantage. i glanced over at a group of casualy dressed young men and noticed someone who caught my eye enough to where i would approach him. he was tall, asian, with short cut hair and a lovely smile. we exchanged glances and smiled at each other.here was the beginning. he would come over to me and talk and most likely offer to buy me a drink the night would wear on like this... as he shifted himself so as to direct his conversation somewhere else, i noticed that there was a person somewhat next to him wearing a fedora. i couldn't see the face,but i thought it was curious that he was the only person there with a hat like that, so i shifted to get a better look. my asian friend was in the way for a moment, then moved out of the way completly. the first thing i saw was the young man's eyes; light brown, almost like honey, that melted in the light of the evening, that caught me off guard when they looked my way. for the first time in three years, i was caught on the spot, helplessly standing like a deer in headlights. i was in a trance for awhile until i noticed he was coming my way; then i panicked because there was nowhere to go...
'hey i'm bruno.'
was that my name?how could i remember with him staring at me like that? i felt like a ten-year-old school girl all over again! what about his name? it sounded familiar. i forced my mind to go back to the automatic guest list...
'so are you here with someone?'he asked. i managed to get some of my nerve back so i could answer the next question with some wit.
'depends. why would you want to know?' he smiled and eyed me up and down slightly.
'just wondering how big the guy is that i'm gonna have to fight when he realizes that i'm tryin' to steal his girl,' he said. i laughed. a bit too loud. people glanced over at us wondering what my problem was. i blushed deep scarlet. Bruno took one look at me and burst out laughing.
'well someone has a healthy sense of humor' he said, and i laughed, not quite as loud this time, at the thought of any part of me being healthy. he led me over to a group of his friends and we talked for what seemed like ages, about everything from movies, to the last time we talked to our parents. it felt like i could've known bruno forever, he was so open. his laugh was wild and free and his smile-oh that smile- took my breath away. i never met a guy so wonderful without any sort of pretense it seemed. after awhile, me and him were alone; i forgot all about my 'mission' until he said to me
'you still didn't answer my question'
'are you with someone?' he asked. the night had grown dark and we stood near each other by one of the fences. he was close enough to where i could smell the earthy tobacco and musky cologne on his skin and clothes. his body heat radiated onto my cool skin, driving me mad. i wanted this man in more ways than i thought i was capable of. the next line came easily.
'at this point, does it matter?' i looked up into his eyes and hoped he got the message. he looked down at me only for a moment, then kissed me gently on my lips. his lips were soft and warm, but they were not wild and searching, like most men at his age. every movement had purpose and was deliberate, having a new affect on my whole body. he wrapped his arms around my waist and i slid my arms around his neck. perfect. the world was nothing but air to me at this moment. i thought things would be perfect, until i heard the flashing of camera lights; then a flashback hits me: the guest list:
'...usher, will.i.am, bruno mars...'
I panicked. i couldn't have this kind of attention on me. i pulled away from bruno and looked into his eyes, not knowing what else to do. he looked at me, then, as if knowing my dilema exactly, took my hand and ran with me to the nearest hidden exit...