Chapter 40

09/01/2012 11:45

This story really is dragging on.  I listen patiently as she describes what he was wearing, down to the colors of his plaid shirt, the day he 'expressed his undying love for her'.  I hold in my giggle.  Drama queen.  I love her.  "Oh my gosh Lena, the smell of his dreads was driving me crazy! All I wanted to do was dig my nose in his hair!"  I make a face.  "Okay Ahm, that would've been attractive." I tell her, both of us laughing.  She continues to highly detail this very short story as we walk down the ramp to the plane that awaits us to take me back to the one I've been missing for far too long.  She finishes as we settle in our seats.  I look at her.  "So basically you guys ran into each other at the mall, got to talking and he finally spilled how he's felt about you for over a year?" I say.  She stares at me blankly.   "Well if you put it like that, than we wouldn't of had anything to talk about the whole drive here now would we?!" she says, folding her arms and falling back against her seat.  I laugh.  She cracks a smile.  "I'm happy you're happy." I tell her, leaning my head against her shoulder.  She strokes my hair.  Before I know it, my eyes start to get real heavy.  Plane rides always make me sleepy.  Lord knows I've been on enough of them in the past 3 years.  I fall asleep to the rocking of the plane.


* * * *


I feel someone pushing me.  I shake my head, to try and wake myself up from the thickness of sleep still over me.  "Were here!" Ahmity says excitedly, jumping over me in my seat.  I yawn and stretch.  Than the butterflies hit me.  Bruno.  I get an explosion of energy and jump up.  I push past Ahm and everybody else and manage to squeeze my way out of the plane first.  I almost run down the ramp, Ahm's voice faint behind me.  "Lena! Wait up bitch!"  I want to stop but I can't.  I fly around the corner, looking in all directions.  My eyes scan over the crowd.  My heart starts to beat fast when I don't see him.  I turn in circles.  All of a sudden, a huge whiff of cologne overtakes my senses and I feel buzzed.  His cologne.  I turn around, and there he is, in all his beauty.  His tan bronzed skin, his curly shiny hair, his soft lips, his warm, chocolate brown eyes.  He raises an eyebrow and does a half smirk.  "Fuck me if I'm right, but aren't you my girlfriend?" he says.  I almost run, and throw myself at him, digging my face in his neck.  His arms wrap tightly around me, squeezing me.  "I missed you." he says in my hair, and I hear him breathe deep.  I softly kiss the vein that pops out slightly on his neck.  "I missed you more." I tell him.  He brushes the hair out of my face.  "That's impossible." he says, running his thumb across my bottom lip.  My whole body tingles from wanting to feel his touch for a week.  Feeling satisfied in seconds, sends shivers all through me, and I want him.  No, I need him.  Now!  A deep voice interrupts the beginning of a fantasy starting to play in my head.  "It's cool, I'll just stand here."  I smile.  Bruno reluctantly puts me down, and I fling myself at Phred.  "Hey big bro!" I say, squeezing him.  He ruffles my hair.  "How you doing small fry?" he says.  "Thanks Lena, for helping me with the damn luggage!" I hear from behind me.  Oh shit.  I turn and Ahmity is dragging all our suitcases, well all HER suitcases and my ONE.  "I'm sorry Ahm!" I say, taking some from her hand.  Her flame is immediately put out when she sees Phred.  He takes her hands off the suitcases and lifts her chin with his hand.  His lips slowly press down on hers, and I can see her body get weak.  I smile and bury my face in Bruno's chest.  Now I know how we look to the outside world.  "I mean I would love to stay and watch all this at the airport romantic movie shit play out... On second thought, No, I would not, So let's get the fuck moving!"  We all bust out laughing as Phil emerges from somewhere deep within the sea of people.  His eyes sparkle behind his black square framed glasses.  He pulls me and Ahmity into a quick hug.  "Never noticed how short you guys are.  Hmm, Midget Twins." he says.  Mine and Ahm's jaws drop and before we have a change to slip in a smart ass remark, he grabs a suitcase "Let's roll out!" and starts walking away.  Bruno's shoulders shake as he laughs and grabs another suitcase, and puts his other arm around my waist.  The world is in balance again.


* * * *


I breathe deep as I open the door to the apartment.  All the smells put a smile on my face, and I feel warm inside. I'm home.  As I grab my suitcase and take it to the bedroom, I notice Bruno acting... a little funny.  I stare at him.  "You okay babe?" I ask.  He smiles.  "Of course I am." I look away slowly, not buying it, but letting it go for now.  He walks away, rubbing the back of his neck, looking down at his phone.  I'll get it out of him sooner or later.  I drag my suitcase in the room and let it fall in the middle of the floor.  I hate unpacking.  I walk out and find Bruno on the balcony.  I hug him from behind, burying my face in his back.  I can feel him breathing heavy.  He intertwines his fingers with mine, squeezing my hands.  "Did you have a good time?" he asks, lightly.  "Yes." I say, muffled.  I feel him nod.  "But all I could think about was coming back to you." I tell him, lifting my head.  He turns around and touches my chin, smiling a little.  "Talking on the phone doesn't even come close to being next to you." He says.  He kisses me softly.  I hold on to his bottom lip when he pulls away.  I feel him smile.  I move from his lip to his neck, sucking softly.  He sighs.  "What have I turned you into?" he says, holding my shoulders.  I smile, letting my hand slide down his chest to his belt.  I grab him through his boxers.  He jumps a little, than does something I never thought he would do.  Bruno moves my hand.  I keep it up, like it got touched by fire.  I stare at him.  "How bout we watch a movie or something instead?" He says.  I make a face.  "So the only time we can have sex is when you want it?" I say, trying to keep my voice calm, and not letting my anger and hurt spill out.  "No babe, not at all." He says, trying to touch my face.  I jerk away from him.  I question why I'm getting so upset over something like this.  Sex.  It's never been an issue.  Besides, that one time.  My first time.  Which probably explains it.  Feeling rejected by him once again, even though he's really not. Feeling ugly and not good enough for him like before.  With just a few words, he brought back the old Lena.  The insecure one.  The one I hate.  Just shut up! I tell myself.  You're being overdramatic.  Sometimes guys just aren't in the mood, right? As much as I try to convince myself that it's nothing, I can feel something's wrong.  "What movie?" I ask him, trying to brush it off.  He walks to the t.v. and puts one in.  He stretches out, laying his head on my lap.  He wraps his arms around my leg as the beginning of Dumb and Dumber starts.  I blankly watch the movie, while he laughs out loud and copies the lines word for word.  The ringing of his phone, kinda snaps me out of my daze.  His peculiar behavior when he looks at it, is what makes me suspicious.  He sits up, and stares at the phone, like he's debating on whether to answer it of not.  He finally decides yes, and gets up to walk to the next room.  I strain my ears.  "No, she just got back today."  I hear.  I furrow my eyebrows.  Who is he talking to about me?  "No.... I haven't told her yet...... I'm still trying to figure out how." He says.  I feel my face scrunch as I can only think of unthinkably horrible things that he did while I was gone.  His voice gets super low.  But I hear it.  I hear it loud and clear.  "Claudia..."  I clench my fists, and my whole body trembles as the anger rushes through my veins.  I feel heat rising up to my face.  I hold in the scream that wants to push it's way out of my mouth.  A minute later, he comes back and tries to lay down like he was.  I move my leg out of the way.  He raises an eyebrow at me.  I don't say a word.  "Lena." he says.  I turn my eyeballs to look at him.  "Talk to me." He says.  I feel my nostrils flair as I hold in my anger.  Don't explode.  I tell myself.  "Let's just finish the movie." I tell him.  He stares at me.  "I know you don't like her Lena, but to be honest, I can talk to whoever I want to." he says, bravely.  I clench my jaw, and stare at the t.v. screen.  "She's not as bad as you think she is." He says.  My heart feels like it's going to explode, beating so fast from anger.  "I knew you would act like this, that's why I didn't tell you right away." he says.  "TELL ME WHAT BRUNO?!" There it goes.  He immediately gets up and holds my arms down.  He knows.  I squirm, my breath coming out short and ragged.  "Calm down." he says.  I kick him.  "DON'T FUCKIN TELL ME TO CALM DOWN!"  He sits on top of me, and as much as I struggle, I can't move.  I give up.  "It's not that serious.  I didn't cheat on you, or do anything with her, or go behind your back."  I glare at him.  He slowly loosens his grip on me, and gets off.  He tries to hold my hands, but I move them away.  "She's got, connections." he says.  I try my hardest not to punch him.  "With who?!"  "The music industry.  Her uncle is a producer and her dad co-owns a record label.  Her mom is a singer, and so is she.  Her whole family is musical." he says, all in one breath.  "She didn't care about your music, you said she didn't show interest in your music!" I shoot back at him.  He closes his eyes.  "That's what it seemed like to me, but we had a long talk and---" "Long talk? When was this?" I ask, glaring at him.  He sighs.  "So that's what you do when I'm gone, talk to sluts behind my back? A slut that I FOUGHT AT THE CLUB!?"  He rubs his forehead.  "Lena I thought you changed.  No, you did change.  This is... the old you.  I thought you would give me a chance to talk to you like the grown ups we are, but that's obviously not happening." he says calmly.  His words slap me in the face.  He shakes his head, and sits back on the couch.  I swallow, not knowing how to feel.  I don't want to go back to how we used to be.  I've grown and matured so much in the past 2 years, and so has our relationship.  I take a deep breath.  "I have changed, So I'm going to sit here and listen, instead of jump to conclusions when I have no idea what was said between you two." I tell him.  He turns his head to look at me, and see if what I'm saying is sincere.  I look at him back with understanding eyes, and he scoots closer to me.  "Me and Phil were at the studio, trying to write a song for someone.  We had no idea who, All Ari told us was that it was a female and it needed to be a ballad.  Now, I know I'm good, I know I'm really good."  he says, smugly.  I roll my eyes.  "But I honestly couldn't write a song for someone if I've never even saw them.  I told Ari that I wanted to meet her, but he said she was off somewhere on vacation or something."  I nod.  "But he asked if I wanted to meet her daughter, who was also a singer.  I said of course, something's better than nothing.  So he brings her in."  "And it's Claudia." I finish for him.  He nods.  It takes all my strength and energy to keep my composure.  "All we did was talk, Lena, I promise you.  She was my friend once upon a time.  I'm not gonna lie, she did try to kiss me."  My blood starts to boil.  "But I told her straight up that there's only one girl for me.  Were not the only people who have changed, she has to, and she understood."  He holds my hand.  "The rest of the session was about music, strictly music." he says, looking in my eyes.  As much as I hate that they were in the same room, there's not much I can do about it, and he's right.  I can't forbid him to talk to anyone, especially if it has to do with his aspiring career.  Let it go Lena.  I tell myself.  It takes a minute, but I finally squeeze his hand.  "I promise not to get mad over petty shit, and you're right.  You can talk to whoever you want to.  I love you, and I know deep in my heart, you won't ever do anything to hurt me." I tell him.  He smiles, and leans forward to kiss me.  I welcome his kiss openly, returning it full force.  I grab his face.  "Can we have sex now?" I ask him, with a serious expression.  He busts out lauging.


* * * *


I try to ignore Bruno's face, knowing that he's talking to her.  I've only ever seen him smile that much with me.  But I promised him, so I turn my attention to Phil, who's messing around with the keyboard.  He flashes a smile at me, and I do one back.  I love being at the studio with them.  I love watching them, doing what they love to do, being behind the scenes.  I get excited over anything little thing they record and scream "That's gonna be a number 1!" 

"Alright, bye" Bruno hangs up the phone, with that damn goofy smile.  "She coming?" Phil asks.  I snap my head towards Bruno.  He nods, slowly.  Great.  Fuckin fabulous.  I hide my disgust.  20 minutes later, the door opens.  Phil smiles, getting up and giving her a hug.  "How you doing String Bean?" he says to her.  Oh great, they have pet names.  Her voice sends my emotions on an angry rollercoaster.  She laughs.  Bruno emerges from somewhere, his face lighting up.  "Hey!"  He gives her a hug, my whole body shaking from the anger I'm holding in.  All of a sudden, I feel her presence next to me.  "Lena, right?" she says.  I take in a deep breath.  "Yes." I tell her shortly.  "I'm glad you're here." she says.  I turn, slowly.  Is she out of her damn mind?  "For?" I ask, an eyebrow raised.  "We kinda got off on the wrong foot." she says.  "Kinda?" I say, rudely.  "I didn't know the kind of history you and Bruno had, all I knew was that you were the reason he was hurting when I met him." She starts.  Her words sting, deep, but I don't let it show.  "I took care of him, I cared about him, a lot." she says, her eyes glancing towards Bruno.  I keep mine on her.  "So when you came back in the picture, I guess I was just trying to protect him." she says.  I scoff, without meaning to.  She ignores it.  "I want to tell you, that I'm sorry for any drama I have caused.  I don't want to be that person.  I love Bruno as a friend, and nothing more.  He really truly loves you, and I would be an idiot to try and ruin that." she says.  I try to decide whether all this is bullshit or not.  It very well could be.  I don't know this girl.  But I trust Bruno.  And if Bruno says nothing has or will happen with her, than I believe him.  "Yeah you would be." I simply say.  She looks kind of nervous.  As well she should be.  She know's what I'm capable of.  She forces a smile, and Bruno walks up behind her.  "I see you guys are having a talk?" he says, with a grin.  Her eyes light up and her smile gets wider as she looks up at him.  I squint my eyes, looking from her to Bruno.  "You ready?" he asks her.  She nods and stands up.  I look at him, confused.  "She's recording the demo of the song we wrote for her mom." he says, with smile.  I nod.  Bruno touches my chin.  "Hey." he says, softly.  I turn my eyes up to look at him.  "I love you." he says, brushing his lips against mine.  I wish that were enough to stop the doubting feelings that I have about him and this girl.  He rubs my bottom lip with his thumb before turning to the sound board.  I lazily sit there, waiting for this nightmare to be over.  Soft music starts, and I see Phil bobbing his head slowly.  He has a smile on his face.  She starts to sing, and I clench my fists.  Of course she would have a beautiful voice like that.  I purposely don't look at Bruno.  I don't want to see the joy on his face as he watches another women shine in the same area as he does.  It's all too much, and I get up and walk out.  I go to the bathroom and stare at myself in the mirror.  I realize I still have my jaw clenched and I loosen it.  I grab the back of my hair, and tilt my head back.  I feel like screaming.  Only cause I love him.  I put up with this shit, ONLY because I love him.  If it were anybody else, I would be up and gone a long time ago, without a second thought.  I fix myself, and try my best to look okay.  I slowly walk back to the room all of them are in.  The music stopped and I can hear them laughing.  I open the door.  Oh, he's quick, but not quick enough.  I saw it.  And I say it out loud.  "There a reason your hands were on her hips Bruno?" I say, walking past him.  Her face turns crimson with embarrassment, and Bruno doesn't say a word.  I plop on the couch and pick up a magazine.  The awkward silence fills the room.  Phil clears his his throat and tries to make conversation.  Claudia joins him.  I can feel Bruno's eyes on me.  I glance up.  I see his jawline tighten.  I narrow my eyes.  He comes closer.  "You gonna do that everytime she stands next to me?" He asks.  I raise an eyebrow.  "You gonna do that everytime she stands next to you?" I shoot back.  He sighs.  "Seriously? Do I act like that when you hug Phil, or Phred?" He says.  No he didn't.  I sit up and our noses are touching.  "Stop yourself right now, before you dig yourself into a hole you'll never be able to get out of." I tell him.  He looks away a little, knowing that his statement was lame and held no valid justification.  This familiar feeling in my gut hits me and instantly makes me sick.  The old us.  I soften my face.  I don't want to fight with him.  He looks at me, and immediately he knows.  He touches my chin.  I run my fingers through his hair that I love so much.  Phil calls Bruno's name.  He turns, and they start talking.  Claudia is trying to busy herself with her phone.  I stare at Bruno, waiting for that bad feeling in my gut to go away.  But.. it doesn't....................................................................................................................