Chapter 6

19/04/2011 14:45

"How the hell..." Eric says, looking out of the window. There it is again. Bang. Bang. Bang. He rubs his forehead, not knowing what to do. Bruno steps into the street and looks up at the window. I duck and sit on the floor listening. "Really bro, that's how it is?" he says. "Come on man, if you really love her, you would understand why she doesn't want to see you." "So what!? I'm tired of this. Nobody gave a shit about my feelings in all of this. Nobody cared that I didn't even want to look at a guitar, let alone play it because all I could do was think about how much I hurt and destroyed the girl I've been in love with my whole life." My eyes almost pop out of my head. I cover my mouth and my whole body is shaking like a leaf. What did he just say? I have to put my head inbetween my legs cause I forgot how to breathe the right way. "How did you even know I was here?" Eric asks. "Mom." Bruno says. "Good ol mom" Eric says back. He kneels down and grabs my face. "I won't let him in...You just tell me and I promise he won't come through those doors." I breathe deep. In and out. In and out. "I don't know. I don't know what to do." My eyes begin to tear up. Why did I wake up this morning. Why?! "Lena!" Bruno yells from the street. My eyes widen again. I don't move. Eric stands up. "Don't start going all drama queen now Bruno, get the hell out of the street and stop screaming." Bruno obeys, stepping onto the sidewalk, out of oncoming traffic. I lay my head against the wall. I know I'm going to regret this, someway or another. "Let him in." I whisper. Eric stares at me. "Are you positive about this Lena?" I nod my head, eyes closed. Eric slowly walks to the door. He puts his hand on the knob for a minute, than opens it and runs downstairs to open the main doors. My chest hurts, my heart is beating way faster than it should, I can't stop shaking, and I want to cry. It seems like a whole lifetime goes by before I hear footsteps coming up the stairs. I'm still sitting on the floor and have no intentions of getting up. I know I'll end up back here anyway. Eric comes through first, looking worried and very protective. The whole room turns black when Bruno walks in. All I see is him. He stands there staring at me, and me staring at him. I don't know how long it was before he slowly walks over to me and kneels down. Being that close to him, smelling his cologne, seeing his curly hair, his eyes, those beautiful brown eyes, makes me feel like I'm not on Earth anymore. He touches my face. My body tingles. He leans his forehead against mine. I can feel his breath on my lips. I want to faint, but I make myself strong. "I missed you...So much." he whispers. I blink a couple times and realize I'm crying. He kisses my tears away. When he leans forward to kiss my lips, I push him screaming "No!" He tumbles backward, looking at me like I'm crazy. I get up and clench my fists. "I told you to leave my alone, You can't come back here and think just because you left for 3 months that I'm gonna forget what happened and everything is just going to be fine. It doesn't work like that honey I'm sorry!" He's still on the floor, looking up at me. "What did you expect huh? That I was just gonna open my arms and welcome you back into my life, Oh baby I missed you I love you. Fuck that! I'm so tired of all that bullshit. I been through it too many times and I'm especially not going to go through it with you!" His brown eyes are narrowed and he's looking at me intently. "I don't want to hear this 'I've been in love with you since we met' bullshit, because as long as we've known each other you've made it clear that were 'best friends' and nothing more. So why is it okay that one day out of the blue you decide to, one, fuck your 'best friend' which by the way congratulations for taking my virginity, and two after it was over with realize it was a mistake. Why is that okay Bruno?!" My nails are digging into my palms. Eric is sitting on the couch, his head in his hands. Bruno's eyes are misty, and his jaw is clenched. I shake my head. "I've loved you for so long and you always made me feel like, Is there something wrong with me? Is my smile not bright enough, am I not smart enough? What just what? Why must I only be called a friend when we could've been so much more? Why must I hear about your search for your perfect her when you know I'm everything your looking for?" He stands up and walks towards me. I back away. "I can't do this." I whisper. "Lena, I had no idea. If I would've known.....Oh my god...." He covers his mouth and I see tears roll down his cheek. I have no desire to go wipe them away. But at the same time, I want to run up to him and kiss him and dry his eyes. I hate how much I love him. My beath is coming out short and heavy. He walks towards me again. This time I can't back up because I'm against the wall. "I love you so much, you have no idea. I've never been in love with anybody but you and it scares me. The only way I knew how to deal with it was to act like I wasn't and stay friends with you and nothing more. It kills me to see you with other guys, especially the assholes who hurt you. All I ever think about is you, day and night. It got frustrating not being able to tell you how I feel so, that day, I guess I just lost control and I know it went further than it should have. But I want you to know that I don't regret a thing. I'm so sorry for hurting you Lena." His forehead is against mine again. I have my eyes closed. I can't see his. They make me too weak. "I know I broke your heart and trusting me is really hard, I know that I'm the one to blame. You say every man's the same but watch how quick I change my ways. Starting today." I shake my head. "I can't...." He leans forward and kisses me. There's no fighting it. His lips are just as soft and warm as I remember them. I kiss him back with as much eagerness. I wrap my arms around his neck and he picks me up. I don't want to stop kissing him. It's like my drug and I'm more than addicted. When he finally puts me down, I'm too light-headed to think. He doesn't let me go and keeps kissing my cheek, my lips, my neck. How did I fall that easy? How can you not? I argue with myself. So now what? I have no idea.