Chapter 8

22/03/2012 19:59

My girls and I went through our clothes to figure out what we were wearing for the night.  Ashley just wanted to go casual, she wasn’t looking for much attention and definitely didn’t want any bad press to ruin what her and Joe had back in the States.  Robyn went glam, as she always did…showing as much skin as possible without blinding anyone.  I decided on a pair of black sequined shorts, a cropped violet sequined top and lace tights complete with a towering set of spike heels.

“Bitch this is gonna be sick, you know that right?” Robyn said, putting on her deep wine-colored lipstick in the mirror.  Ashley went from room to room, brushing her hair out for more volume and trying on different pairs of shoes.

“I’ve never been to Aura, but I’ve heard good things about it.” I replied, checking out my backside in the mirror and fluffing out my short hair.  There was a knock at the door.  “I’ll get it!” I said cheerily, hopping over the massive piles of clothes to go answer the door.  I heard Robyn cackle at my excitement.


“Suck it.”  I answered the door and immediately threw my arms around Rupert, who spun me around once before setting me gently back onto my feet.

“You look…wow.” He said, checking me out.  I did a little turn for show before kissing his cheek.

“Thank you.  You don't look half bad yourself.” I tugged on his spiked belt and gave him a wink.

“Robyn quit being so damn narcissistic and get your ass out here, we’re ready to go!”

“Cabs are heeeeeeeyah!” Robyn yelled.  We all cheered as we left the hotel together.

Aura was packed tonight.  Once we entered the building it was nothing but bumpin house music and a swarm of people moving together as one, giant, dancing blob.  The four of us quickly made our way to the V.I.P, which was closed off for the night thanks to Robyn’s assistant for booking everything.  She rushed over to the bottles of vodka that awaited us in a bucket of ice and quickly popped the Svedka open, pouring a round of shots for us.

“You want one?” I handed a shot to Rupert, who politely declined.  I shrugged and took his along with mine, scrunching my face up at the harsh warmth that ran down my throat.  “Wooo!” I yelled, laughing.

“Pace yourself hoe!” Robyn said.  I waved her off and took a third shot.  I slammed my glass down and took Rupert’s hand, leading him over to the balcony that overlooked the crowd below.  I had my back against it and he rested his hands on the bar on both sides of my body, in a way that I was enclosed in his space.

“I don’t want you to leave me tomorrow.” He leaned in to my ear to talk so I could hear him over the music.

“I’ll be back.” I replied.

“You mean it?”

“Yeah I do.” I pulled back and looked into his eyes.  I rested my hands on both sides of his face and pressed my lips against his, kissing him.  “I love you, alright?” I pushed his hair out of his face.  He nodded in agreement, leaning down to kiss my neck. I wrapped my arms around his waist, ghosting my fingers back and forth across his spiked belt.  The bass of the song was moving me and the strobe lights were out of control.  Aura really was fucking awesome.

Ashley came over and separated us.  “Hey you losers, come party with us.  You’ll get plenty of alone time tonight.”

I laughed, taking Rupert’s hand and leading him over to the main part of the VIP.  I caught Robyn grinding herself up on some guy who Ashley told me was a football player.  When she caught my eye she gave me a thumbs up, which I gratefully returned by raising my shot of tequila I was now about to slam back.  I sucked on a lime as I stood up and began waving my hips around.  Rupert was chilling on the couch, laid-back and talking to a few high-profile actors who had gotten into the VIP as well.  Ashley came up and pinched my butt and I squealed and started dancing with her.  We sang along to the music as our hips swayed against each other.

At this point, I was drunk.

“Party bitches!” I yelled as I snapped a picture on my phone of Ashley and I.  Ashley gasped and pulled me close to her as she spoke in my ear.

“You gotta shout out to the crowd!”

“Okay!” I agreed.  I tossed my phone to Rupert, who caught it and tucked it into his pocket.  I didn’t want anyone getting to that.  I had some crazy shit in that phone.  Ashley and I made our way to the DJ Booth, and he gave me the microphone willingly.

“WHAT’S UP LONDON!?” I yelled.  The crowd yelled back at me, fist pumping into the air.  “I’M ROXANNE AND–” I giggled as Ashley started tickling my sides.  “Stop it bitch!” I knocked her hands off and she dissolved into laughter.  The crowd laughed, “AND I’M HERE TO SAY PARTY ALL NIGHT LONG!”

I pumped my fist in the air and gave the microphone back to the DJ, who decided to spin a new track.  "Watching Her Move" by...Bruno.

Ashley and I sauntered our way back to VIP and started dancing to the thumpin beats, until the voice came over the speakers.  I instantly stopped in my tracks so hard, I nearly stumbled in my drunkeness.

“Wha happened?” Ashley asked, tugging on my hand.

I frowned, “Why would he do that?”

“Ohmygod, ohmygod, ohmygod is this Bruno?!” Ashley asked, pointing to the sky as she listened to the song.  I nodded, feeling myself tearing up.  “He sounds so sexy!”

“Ashley!” I yelled, stumbling away from her.  Rupert caught me just as I was about to eat shit on that stupid light-up floor.

“Come on, let’s sit you down.” He said.

“No.” I shoved him, but he held onto me tighter.  “Get off me!”

“Roxanne, your drunk.”

“Fuck you.” I muttered, finally collapsing onto the couch.  I continued to fist-pump lazily, however…and I reached out and took the bottle of champagne that was in the ice bucket.  I shook it up and let the cork pop off into oblivion as I drank from the bottle of syrupy, carbonated sweetness.

“Babe….I think you’ve had enough for the night.” Robyn said, coming over and taking the bottle from me.  I stuck my tongue out at her and crawled over to Rupert on the couch.  He looked taken aback as I crawled into his lap and ran my hands down his chest.  I leaned forward and bit his neck lightly, kissing my lovebites and continuing to rub his chest.

“GET SOME MATE!” One of his friends yelled.  I flipped him off and got off of Rupert’s lap.

“I’m not a joke so fuck you guys I’m too good for this.” I mumbled, but of course with Bruno’s thumping track making the club crowd go wild, nobody heard me.  I had barely been here for two hours, and already I was gone.  I staggered my way over to the balcony and I laid my head down on my arms, trying to fight the confusion in my head as the music faded and another song came on.  It bewildered me how involved in themselves everyone was.  It was as though I was having an out of body experience and I was invisible.  I felt a hand rub my back soothingly, and I immediately wanted solace.

“Take me home….please….” I whimpered.  I felt arms come around me and without opening my eyes, I leaned against the body and allowed myself to be taken from the club and all the maddness.

I passed out somewhere along the way, but I woke up in my hotel room…still inebriated and hurt.  I noticed Rupert was there, huddled over a bag doing something.  I moved around in the bed I was laying on and he quickly sat up and turned around.  He ran a hand through his messy hair, his shirt unbuttoned halfway.

“How are you feeling?” He asked.

“I just want it all to go away.” I said quietly, crawling over towards him.

“I wish I could make it go away Roxanne, I really do.” He held my face in his hands and looked at me with empathy.  I took his hands and stood up on my knees to better match his standing height.  I kissed him and ran my hands up his chest, pushing his button down off of his shoulders.  There was a part of me that knew this was wrong, that knew I should stop…but that part was drowned out by the pain that wanted a temporary band-aid.  That closure that didn’t quite close before.

And he kissed me back, his shirt falling to the carpeted floor.  I pulled his neck, bringing him down atop me on the mattress.  And in a blur of entangled limbs, his clothes came off, as did mine, and I got the band-aid I was looking for when our bodies connected as one.  I threw my head back, completely lost in the drunken ease that was filling my empty soul.  I hugged his body close to mine and placed my face in the crook of his neck, closing my eyes tightly as a tear escaped my lid and dripped down my face, only to get mixed in with the sweat that already had formed on the two of us.

Why me?